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Polish boyfriends


kocham  
10 May 2007 /  #1
hi. I am english and have just split up with my Polish boyfriend because of cultral differences. He seems to be very attached to his ex girlfriend still, whom lives in the UK as well as him. Everything between us was great until his ex keeps butting in to our lives. She rings him every day and they meet often, but this upsets me because i love him and i have two children and want to get on with my life with him as a family. This cannot happen with the ex keep interfering in our lives. He says i'm jealous, but i just really don't see the need for her to be in his life constantly. I asked him if he could at least cut down the contact a bit because it hurts. I feel she is more important than me, especially because he was willing to split up with me rather than let her friendship go. And they speak Polish on the phone together and i have no idea what they are talking about. I feel like they take the **** out of me. What do you Poles think?
AvJoeUK  
10 May 2007 /  #2
Im not Polish but have had a relationship with a Pole. But from what I gather If he says your jealous and carrys on, then he's obviously not thinking about how you feel. Jealousy hurts trust and you lose trust, well...I know too well.
Jar 1 | 10  
11 May 2007 /  #3
Sounds like an idiot who only understands his own feelings and needs but ignores yours. Btw im not Polish but am dating one.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
11 May 2007 /  #4
uh oh.. i can relate to this one too. My bfs ex calls him and texts him nearly every day.. she is mad a box of frogs though.. she even texts me in Polish at times.. I need to improve my Polish so I can fully understand what they are saying... but basically she will never accept that he has left and wants him back and he says he will never go back and just wants to be friends with her.. but how can you be mates with someone who is still in love with you!
glowa 1 | 291  
13 May 2007 /  #5
Kocham - nothing to do with cultural differences. I'd go with what Jar has said. Your bf's simply an idiot who most likely hasn't got any idea what he wants.

Bolo - excelent!!! This 'hit' of a drunken village party hasn't got any dumber one to compete with.

P.S. funny that this 'bf' abbreviation looks so much like 'BS' to me. maybe there's more to it than just a visual trick. :)
bringthepoison 2 | 23  
14 Feb 2008 /  #6
but how can you be mates with someone who is still in love with you!

actually sapphire my best friend is my ex. it CAN work
angel 14 | 86  
14 Feb 2008 /  #7
i am trying to establish a friendship with my x-he left me!! said he didnt love me anymore-it hurt-but i have come to terms with it-he has an involved relationship with someone else-says he loves her more than he ever loved me-we have kids together-i have have a few short term relationships since the split- now i have found someone i could give the world to-but not getting too involved yet-anyway -he-the x cant seem to be friends-i can be
plk123 8 | 4,150  
14 Feb 2008 /  #8
let them go.. there is a reason you all put an X infront of their title..
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
14 Feb 2008 /  #9
Polish boyfriends? Never had one, will never have one.
Ranj 21 | 948  
14 Feb 2008 /  #10
The Polish guy I dated a longtime ago was quite the charmer, although very dishonest, I would later come to find out. I'm not by any means saying all Polish men are dishonest. In the same respect, I have to agree with Glowa in that it's not just a cultural trait of the Polish to be friend's with an ex and to show disrespect to their current partner; there are people from every walks of life that are self-centered and don't care about others feelings but their own. By saying that, I'm not saying people can't be friends with ex's, but if there's a problem with a current relationship because of that friendship, then something needs to change.
krysia 23 | 3,057  
14 Feb 2008 /  #11
The Polish guy I dated a longtime ago was quite the charmer, although very dishonest,

Sounds like my story.
I brought this Polish guy on a fiance visa to the US. Married the loser and after he got the green card, I found out that's what he wanted all along. He used me for a free ticket to the US and was very dishonest about his intentions.
Janey - | 30  
14 Feb 2008 /  #12
The Polish guy I dated a longtime ago was quite the charmer, although very dishonest,

This sounds very familliar, and I have to say I agree with all that you have said. A relationship is built on trust and honesty - by current Polish b/f plays mind games with me..... not good and I keep telling him this. He keeps alot of secrets, I misunderstand, he then tells me the truth and its a case of 'if you told me that in the first place'. He and I are slowly learning... But the speaking Polish is quite annoying at times as I only understand a few words...... am trying to learn. Lol xx
krysia 23 | 3,057  
14 Feb 2008 /  #13
by current Polish b/f plays mind games with me..... not good and I keep telling him this.

Must be Polish trait because the Pole I was with was doing the same thing. When I asked him something he would say: "I'll tell you tomorrow" He was always thinking something and I couldn't communicate with him because he would never give a straight answer. Always trying to use others to get ahead.
El Gato 4 | 351  
14 Feb 2008 /  #14
What do you Poles think?

Maybe you're all just attracted to d*ckheads? I never treat my gf like that. I'm always there for her and what not.

Don't make all Polish guys seem like these @ssholes, because we're not. You just found a bad one, thats all. Heartbreaks are part of life, everyone experiences them. Just move on.

:]
Firestorm 6 | 400  
14 Feb 2008 /  #15
Must be Polish trait because the Pole I was with was doing the same thing. When I asked him something he would say: "I'll tell you tomorrow"

Its Not only Polish men who do this..
Women do it too.
So Procrastination must be a polish trait.. :)
Madzia22 - | 72  
14 Feb 2008 /  #16
So Procrastination must be a polish trait

No, those examples are just single exeptions... nothing else
UK2008 - | 7  
14 Feb 2008 /  #17
A relationship is built on trust and honesty - by current Polish b/f plays mind games with me..... not good and I keep telling him this. He keeps alot of secrets, I misunderstand, he then tells me the truth and its a case of 'if you told me that in the first place'.

Oh, and of course women would NEVER EVER do this, would they... <rolls eyes, sarcastically> ;)
Ranj 21 | 948  
14 Feb 2008 /  #18
Maybe you're all just attracted to d*ckheads?

I don't think that's the case, melonhead kitty....this is a polish forum though, so we're talking about Polish men....if it were an American forum, English Forum, Russian Forum, etc...my guess is men of those nationalities would be targeted. I never said all Polish men are d*ckheads.....I happen to know a few that are absolutely wonderful!
krysia 23 | 3,057  
14 Feb 2008 /  #19
Oh, and of course women would NEVER EVER do this, would they... <rolls eyes, sarcastically> ;)

Nobody is talking generally about Polish guys. I'm sure they are not all the same, but we are just speaking from experience.
UK2008 - | 7  
14 Feb 2008 /  #20
yeah, but it's leading that way, isn't it... someone says they had a problem with a Polish boyfriend, another one chips in with what their current Polish bf is like (i.e. similar), and the generalisations follow...
Ranj 21 | 948  
14 Feb 2008 /  #21
someone says they had a problem with a Polish boyfriend, another one chips in with what their current Polish bf is like (i.e. similar), and the generalisations follow...

But nonetheless, true, at least in these particular cases. If someone wants to believe that ever single polish man is as we described, than they're an idiot.
Agni - | 4  
18 Feb 2008 /  #22
To be honest I have never had polish boyfriend although myself polish, but what i think is he is still in love (or kind of love) with her because he is giving her more prefernces than you. Another thing is that maybe he is more attatched to polish culture and is not able to think about getting into serious relationship with someone out of his own culture. Some polish men are kind of "less flexible" when it comes to set up polish-non-polish relationships.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
19 Feb 2008 /  #23
Some polish men are kind of "less flexible" when it comes to set up polish-non-polish relationships.

and some aren't. Lets face it women will never fully understand men and vice versa, regardless of nationality. Once we all accept that we will be lot happier in our relationships. How is this for weird.. a friend of mines first love who he has not heard from in 20 years recently contacted him through a school friend website. Since then she not only texts but calls him every day from Poland (he is the UK). She has been married for 18 years and has 2 kids and he is in a serious relationship. Its nice to get in touch with old friends, but if he doesnt answer the phone and is too busy to speak to her she hangs up and turns off her phone...at first he was happy to hear from her, but now he has had to tell her he is too busy to speak.... sounds totally nutty to me!
marhefka - | 8  
19 Feb 2008 /  #24
A few of my Polish friends look for Polish girlfriends. Only Polish. Their explanation is cultural similarities. I tried to tell them to be more open minded, but it's a lost case. :)
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
19 Feb 2008 /  #25
this thread is full of examples of how badly some Polish men behve and im sure the nice Polish guys arent very happy about it, but i kinda agree some Poles are like that. quite a few of my English friends dated them and none of the relationships lasted. if there was a long term Polish girlfriend in their past you can be almost sure you will hear about her and it will make your life hell. they tend to be very sneaky, very secretive, often using the excuse of 'language barrier' just so they dont have to talk. speaking on the phone/txting in Polish and not bothering to say what it was all about (if im on the phone speaking Polish i tell my man who it was and roughly what it was about, just so he doesnt feel excluded from my life) seems to be a norm as well... it just creates this feelig of mistrust. they often pull out of the relationship for no reason, or at least they will not tell what the reason is, they will just cease contact and avoid being approached. i dont know if my friends were so unfortunate picking them blokes, but this seems to be a common thing with Polish guys. maybe its the fact of them being abroad and it makes things very confusing and difficult, or they dont quite know how to get out of a sticky situation without causing any more trouble as its a different culture etc., but then why act like such a twit and break someones heart cos you dont know what you want from life? or use someone and dump them when you cant gain anything more?
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
19 Feb 2008 /  #26
but i kinda agree some Poles are like that

I agree with that too. Then again men from all nationalities behave badly at times.

However, what I have seen recently (not only on the forum) are girls (not Polish) who suddenly declare that they only want a Polish man. Fair enough, but if you limit your scope to one group chances are you won't find happiness and that's what's happening.

Why, suddenly, do they want a Polish guy? Is it more exciting to date someone from a different country? Then if they do date someone from a different country they have to realise there are cultural differences as well and to make the relationship work, they have to work through these but often it is too difficult.

but this seems to be a common thing with Polish guys. maybe its the fact of them being abroad and it makes things very confusing and difficult, or they dont quite know how to get out of a sticky situation without causing any more trouble as its a different culture etc.,

I found out from one male Polish friend recently that when he arrived in the UK three years ago (alone) he reached out for anyone who he could be friends with. He didn't like the feeling of being lonely and he admitted that he dated a friend of a girl at work simply for company and nothing more. He had a girlfriend at home in Poland. The girl here fell for him and he dealt with it by ignoring her texts/calls. He had no idea how to deal with it otherwise.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
20 Feb 2008 /  #27
I found out from one male Polish friend recently that when he arrived in the UK three years ago (alone) he reached out for anyone who he could be friends with. He didn't like the feeling of being lonely and he admitted that he dated a friend of a girl at work simply for company and nothing more. He had a girlfriend at home in Poland. The girl here fell for him and he dealt with it by ignoring her texts/calls. He had no idea how to deal with it otherwise.

pretty common I would think. Almost every Polish guy here who has a wife or gf back home also has or is pursuing women over here too. I asked my bf about his mates and he said its normal, they just need some companionship while they are here, but most arent looking for anything more.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
20 Feb 2008 /  #28
my goodness at least were not banging the british on this topic :)

However i have to say picking on Polish men is a bit harsh especially if your not polish yourself, there could be so many reasons why you believe or don't believe that Polish men or on the other hand woman aren't good, so to speak.

FIrstly it could just be a cultural difference, i had a Polish girlfriend and there were a few thigns that i was left scratching my head with, firstly, p's and q's they just didn't exist in her vocabulary, seconldy due to her up bringing she had different ideas and views on how life should be lived etc.

What i'm trying to say is that it could be and i'm sure it is the same on the other hand for britisih girls who have Polish boyfriends.

The second point is that some people just are not made for each other, you may find each other physically attrative but when push comes to shuv you don't actually like them in a personal sense. Therfore it is not going to work :)

just a few thoughts don't know what the rest of you think

thanks

T
polski_zyd 2 | 72  
20 Feb 2008 /  #29
How come it's OK to post stuff like this on here?

Imagine if it said....

hi. I am english and have just split up with my Black boyfriend because of cultral differences. What do you Whites think?

Not so PC now is it?

How come so much bigotry towards Poles is acceptable on a so-called POLISH site? What's the agenda here?
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
20 Feb 2008 /  #30
the agenda is that it is POLISH forum to talk about POLISH stuff and this in the section about love and relationships with POLISH people. Everyone has a different opinion and I for one am not bigoted and I dont think most of the other posters on this thread are either.. they are merely conveying their personal experiences and not suggesting that all Polish guys are bad.. so get down off your rocking horse.

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