Need advice with Polish girl, I like her but she has a boyfriend.

Do I have to be 15 now to have rules and morals? And hell yes, if sleeping around behind your boyfriend's back means being grown up, I rather want to stay immature. Twats!

I know that a month ago he beat her and from her friends I know that he has done once or twice before. I noticed she got nervous and protective when someone else mentioned it to her today as well, thats what got me even more curious.

I understand what everyone has been saying about what she is probably doing, hell, I even know deep down what it is that I should do but for some reason I keep thinking that she's different and that she will move out soon.

I would keep asking her about when she's going to move and what's going on but I don't want to come across as rushing her (I understand she's been with this guy for a long time).

I figure if nothing has changed by the beginning of september then I will just get the hell out of there. It will have been 3 months by then, would I be wrong to expect some change by then or is it still too soon?

I know i must sound like a right mug but I know that if 100% nothing will happen then I have to move on. I already have other plans (been considering travelling to Australia for a long time, saving money for that).

just move on.

She's been stringing you along and cheating on her boyfriend for 2 months already?

Run to the hills mate (or Australia...I hear it's lovely).

nice to see that somebody has these values!!!!

I've been watching this forum a little while and all i can see is a few blokes making 'macho' comments about what they would do or what he should do. Anybody who thinks its ok to '****' on somebody in some of the ways i've seen written here deserves to be treated in exactly the same way. I doubt those talking this macho bollox would be doing so if something bad happened to them. You fall in love with a woman and have her cheat on you, you've wanted her for years, you get together and 12 months into your relationship you find she's been banging the local milkman and is going to leave you, imagine how you would feel just for one second.

My advice to the OP is just to explain your feelings to your friend but do not act upon them until she leaves her boyfriend. At least let him walk away with a bit of dignity in tact, what has he ever done to you??? If she does not like you then 'walk away' from the situation. If she has the same feelings as you do for her and leaves her current boyfriend then fill your boots by all means.

yeah kaze you're just her back up guy, the last resort, shall i carry on so you get the idea? she's a very confused girl at best and might be regretting what she had with you but also feels bad to just leave you like that so she sticks around and is nice. don't get your hopes up and try to move on step by step, keep your mind off her, get out more with your friends etc., cos by the sounds of it no matter what happens she'll stay with that bloke of hers and you can't help it, you've done enough already. more waiting is more time wasting in this situation. see if she misses you when you disappear from her life, and for gods sake stop talking to her friends because i bet they are just as keen to pass on what you said to her.

And they all have AIDS by now. It's sad Torny but as you can clearly see people will call you immature while you are actually faithtful and failing to understand how easily it comes for others to cheat.

maybe not AIDS but i'm sure people with this sort of point of view certainly do stand a good chance of picking up a nasty one :)


as far as i see it, in this sort of situation, being faithful and not sleeping around while your in a relationship is more mature than doing the opposite. I think you'll find jump that they say that because it suits them to do so. Its about trying to belittle you and your point of view.

Sleeping around and being unfaithful is the sort of things teenagers do when they are young, confused and not sure what they want. Being faithful and not cheatiing is showing your maturity, so how you can say jump or anybody else with her point of view is immature couldn't be further away from the truth

ha ha you'd be surprised to know that it's not just teenagers who do all the sleeping around and cheating actually lol

lol i know what you mean Justy, although it would be funny to hear about the 70+ year old scandels, think of all that cheating that goes on at bridge meetings :):)

you did hear about sex tourism in turkey didn't you lol

some people sleep around, some don't. THose who claim they don't probably wish they did, or sleep around but don't think they do:). It you are able to untangle this train of thinking, you will get an extra point;). The truth is that those who do have much more to worry about later, then those who don't, so please stop preaching ;)

actually funny you should mention that, about three months ago i watched a documentary on channel four called 'my turkish playboy' where all these middle age to old British women went out to Turkey to find a young lover. These guys were about 20 odd and it was disgusting, yuk yuk yuk, you've made me feel sick Justy!!!!!


actually i find the ones who shout about it 'ow i've slept with ..... many girls and done ...... with them' or 'nah i would just have three at once' are the ones who are talking crap and wish they could do what they say.

The ones who say they don't sleep about are in two groups, the ones that you depicted and the ones who have morals and a bit of respect for themselves and the opposite sex. So i think i've got the


thank you very much.


i am not legal to preach, i haven't got a white collar :):)

i'm sorry. not lol.

you will be when i send you the contents of my sicky bag, lol. :)

I was not directing this at anybody in particular:)

i thought that was worth a reply as i replied to the rest of your post :)

They're both he and she emotionally twisted buggers, talking is for mature people.


Then its a crystal clear sign that she's not going to leave him anytime soon and definitely not for you, if he kicked her ass three times in a row and she's still considering what to do that means she'll stick around for quite a while.


No you wont, just as i recognize her type i recognize yours, whiny buggers who unable to get the girl they want keep bugging them and making a doormat out of themselves, my advice is have a bit of dignity and bail out.


Yeah something might happen, if she decides to leave him one day and she still keeps you around she might actually be your "girlfriend" untill she finds someone she really fancies and dumps you without a word because she doesnt give a shyt about you as a man, she cares about you as someone who keeps her afloat when she has trouble but otherwise is useless to her.

And since she's a woman and you act like you have no balls she will be suprised at your reaction (when she dumps you or just breaks off friendly contacts) because you never acted like you had dignity in the first place.

And thats the absolutely best case scenario for you.

You're right in that I need to find a bit more dignity but I also have been in this situation before on both sides of it so I know what it feels like to be both cheated on and have something like this not work out.

It's why i'm so annoyed with myself because I know the signs, i'm starting to see them again yet i'm still there like an idiot.

As for me acting macho, lol i'm far from that. I'm not the type to go bragging to my friends about conquests with women.

The worst feeling is I know all this, I know i'm being a complete bastard and don't like being on the other end but at the end of the day, I still hope that whatever has happened between me and her gives her the strength to leave that sorry excuse of a boyfriend of her's. Any man who hits another women is complete scum.

no no no i don't think i was aiming the 'macho talk' thing at you, i'm sorry if you thought that.


listen the sooner you act the sooner it will pan out, which ever way that may be, its better to face the music sooner rather than later.

Stupid is is stupid does. If she doesnt treat you right then you need to let her go.

You could always just be her "good friend". Every woman needs one of those :)

Are you being sarcastic? In his current situation that may be the worst possible course of action.

for him yes, not for her

He doesn't sound like he wants to let go completely...not yet...not now.

Did that before, won't do it again. I know that if (when?) I decide to give up on it that I won't be able to be her friend again, at least not for a while.

Well. Good luck!

there is a polish saying "nie wpierdalaj się między wódkę a zakąskę"... can someone translate it :D?

don't get in between vodka and the h'orderves.

lol

Don't f*ck off between the vodka and the snacks/hors d'ouevres?