Love /
My Polish girlfriend checks my mobile phone all the time [70]
so what if you trust .. and then find out that your trust was misplaced? but by that point you love someone and have small children and a life with them?
Well then i'm sorry but you still break up with them, if the kids want an explanasion then they can ask there mum why daddy does not want to live with her anymore :)
So your idea is to be paranoid for the whole of the relationship, always checking up, always thinking that there may be a possibility of wrong doing, well i'm sorry to stick it to you but no relationship could handle that strain for that long!!!!! Paranoia and insecurity will get you nowhere, if you feel the need to check up on them all the time, bottom line is, you should not be with them
I can give you some sop stories too, fact is life is one big shite sandwich and we all have to take a bite at some point, she has just taken her lice of the sandwich. If yo have the idea that your partner then just come out and ask them, what is the harm in trying directly for the truth, if then you don't get it then take action yourself if you feel that strongly about it. The fact she has children and looks a little older than she is should not dictate how she deals with a cheating husband.
Just because she found out about the afffair by looking on his phone does not make her actions correct/right.
now, is she to kick him out, and lose her home, her family (as the daughter would go with him, as adores her father), and be left all alone, trying to 'start' her life again?
yes, if your going to be unhappy then atleast then put your own destiny in your hands and not under the control of a cheating husband. About the child going with her father, lets be honest, the courts (in the uk atleast) take little notice of where a minor (-16) wants to live.
or does she live with it, make him sleep on the sofa for a few weeks, and still cook supper, look after her daughter, talk about what they're doing for christmas, and catch up with the elderly in-laws?
get him to sleep on the sofa!!!! kick him out if she has any balls, surely if he is having an affair that is fair grounds for a divorce that will settle in her favour?? yes!!!!
i'm sure everyone will say 'no, get rid of that bastard, kick him out, so what about the kid, she will be free, she will have her chance at life again, she will find someone who really loves her ...' - there are a lot of ifs in that. nothing solid. what she has now, while not ideal, is, at least, real.
so she is just supposed to put up with all the shite and carry on like its all fine and dandy, that is the cowards way out and the way out somebody would choose if they had no self-esteem. If i got to that point i honestly would rather swallow the gun than have my life controlled by a cheating partner/wife. To be honest though i think the, leaving option is a much better one.
i wouldn't presume to judge her for staying where she is. and i wouldn't presume to say that blind trust is the only, and best, way forward for anyone.
of course one should be able to trust, but sometimes one can't. and one might have to accept that and live with it .. one might, po prostu, take a view.
I cannot comment on her specifically, however i can comment on what should be done in this sort of situation.
Thanks for the counter point of view, it is very interesting but i think your weak for suggesting a friend of yours should stick with that rather than take her chances and run her own life, regardless if its a struggle to start with. After all having a hard life is better than not having one (and choices) at all, isn't it??
i don't read anyone's messages and i check my boyfriend's phone only when he checks mine.
Problem is that is a classic sign of 'paranoia' i need to do it becuase you are, so what if he checks your phone, if you don't like it, get him to stop rather than you doing the same in kind.
i don't also have my boyfriend's password but he had mine because it was no problem for me i gave it to him as he sometimes replied messages from our common friends.
ok maybe your language confused me above because i really did think you were suggesting you had his e-mail password and he had yours etc etc.
if i want to know something i ask
exactly, so therefore what is the point of even looking at his phone, what could possibly interest you about his phone?? maybe you need to get the same model phone as him if its that interesting :):)
if i'm suspicious about something i want to make sure i don't waste time for someone who doesn't deserve it
agreed, if your that suspicious you would/should ask him up front, its pretty easy to gage by somebodies reaction whether or not something is going on. If i thought my girlfriend was really suspicious and she asked to see my phone messages, i would show her in the interests of putting her mind at ease, however i would not make it a regular thing.
