UK, Ireland /
Welcome to the UK, passport please.... [13]
OK, so you’ve arrived in the UK. In all probability your English is probably better than ours already. You probably pronounce the letter H – you say Hotel not ‘Otel. You can decline verbs properly. You use the correct tenses. All well and good but you are not going to find it easy to converse with most of us without a detailed and intimate knowledge of ‘real’ English, those quaint words that you will never find in most dictionaries. This thread is intended to provide a tongue in cheek guide to some of our more esoteric language. Be warned gentle reader that this is not going to be an easy journey. Every area of England has its own variants. And if you are heading for Scotland or Wales it is going to be harder still.
Lesson 1 – Comments upon your physical attractiveness
Let’s face it we all need someone in our lives, but sometimes you will not be described in the Queens English. ‘I find you very attractive’ may be OK for that phrase book but you are more likely to be described in one of the following (positive) ways:
• Totty (hot totty is better still)
• Crumpet (not if you are a man)
• Talent
• Drop Dead Gorgeous
• Nice piece of skirt (females only)
• Drink on a stick
• Dish (or dishy)
If, on the other hand, any of the following terms are used you may feel free to let loose a volley of abuse in response as they are not so complimentary:
• Dog
• Bint
• Bus (as in face like the back of one)
Other terms you may overhear include target rich environment (there are many attractive people in this place and I’m raring to go).
Lesson 2 – I have imbibed a tad too much alcohol and am a little the worse for wear
Variants include:
• Tipsy (a little drunk)
• P****d (note the subtle variation from US English)
• Slaughtered (very drunk)
• Legless (very,very drunk)
• Tired and emotional
• Blotto
• Kaiboshed
• Blitzed
• Merry (same as tipsy)
Come on you Brits or longer term Polish residents, help out the newbies with some more gems.