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Posts by dourbest741  

Joined: 30 Apr 2007 / Male ♂ 		Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 2 / In This Archive: 2
Posts: Total: 29 / In This Archive: 21 		From: Chicago
Speaks Polish?: no
Interests: Ancient Roman History

Displayed posts: 23
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dourbest741   
30 Apr 2007
Love / American man transitioning from Romanian to Polish relationship [5]

Hello Everyone,

I am in dire need of your opinion and 2 cents..lol. I am transitioning from romanian relationships which I have known for the last 5 years and exploring relations with a polish girl only I am confused. Here is the situation: I am a 29 year old american male.

I have started seeing a polish girl. Well she's been in the states for 6 years and she's expressed she would like to start off as friends first. We've been out quite a few times, mostly movies and if I don't call her early in the week she'll text to see how I am. Now here is the comparison in my head.

My previous relations with romanian girls were relatively easy into entering a relationship. They expressed early on that they either wanted to be friends or they wanted to try a committed relationship to avoid the awkwardness of "are we just friends or are we more yet". I would describe my past romanian encounters as the women are very agressive in a "egyptian queen" kind of way...hope I'm not making you laugh but thats my best explanation. We spent a lot of time together early on and attempted to bond.

Now this polish girl I am seeing will usually go out with me once a week or twice a week. She works in retail which I can understand the hectic schedule and she spends time with her family as well. Its kind of awkward because I can't get a feel for the situation....I mean we have a great time together but no hugs as of yet. Now can you help me on indicating whether I should pursue her for a romantic relation? I mean if she was romanian she would have made a move already to indicate whether we are permanent friends or trying a relationship. In this case I am still at square one and I'm confused. Am I suppose to make the first move in polish culture? Is it normal in this culture to start as friends first? Does a girl date many guys as "friends" first and if so should I do the same? I want to avoid miscommunication and I can see there are deep differences in romanian and polish culture. I do know in romanian culture that when you start seeing a girl....she had better be the only one or else she might go ballistic...don't get me wrong...I find jealousy kind of cute and since I am use to being a one woman guy.....dating a few at the same time is foreign to me because romanian girls have made me fear my life should I even think about it..lol. Additionally, I learned intermediate romanian to speak to my ex's friends and family but I want to make sure there is a possible relationship before learning the polish language. Your thoughts are much appreciated!

Thanks everyone and sorry for my long story!
dourbest741   
30 Apr 2007
Love / The girl from poland i met ,i hope you dont meet a girl like this [59]

You know seriously this guy got it off easy. I mean seriously....that is B.S. that the girl pretended to be something she is not but I think its a fatal character flaw that she told him she had a boyfriend! It means there was some honest part in her and thats respectable. The situation wasn't but that last move was almost angelic. Now listen....maybe you should look at this the other way...she had a boyfriend and she was hoping some knight would ride in on the sunset and be mr. perfect. Atleast you got her attention and I think thats a plus and onto the next.

And about the controlling women thing. Have any of you dated Romanian? The trick I've learned is that they are the queen and you are the knight and not a slave. She must be right every single time...but when she's wrong here's your chance to say....oh what happenend my dear queen...DID WE MAKE A MISTAKE??!! HAHA. So take it in stride.....all people must survive and all people have their own agendas. You hope after your adventure together that your significant other develops a heart for you and if not oh well. Well hoping to catch a polish girl. From the vampire women of Romania (sweet, sweet, sweet and aggressive) to the Snow angels of poland ;)

Ok so my comments sound extremeley stupid...ok I accept this! Have a great day all!! :D
dourbest741   
3 May 2007
Love / A Story of mine [47]

Hey avjoe. May sound funny but I have been through that. Actually I may be going through that right now actually with a polish girl in my city. I have learned to keep detached but interesting to know and keep your head up! You know call me crazy but I like those possesive, jealous girls because I just feel their eyes are always on me and they usually have pale creamy skin, average height with black hair. In my case now its much like you described blonde, blue eyes. We'll talk I'm sure

Cheers!
dourbest741   
5 May 2007
Love / Polish ladies seem to be in high demand at the moment. [105]

I like this site. I live in the states and its hard to definitely guage polish women. You can never tell if the way the girls are in my city are total polish upbringing or polish plus their experience in the states. Jury is still out on this one. From what I hear on the site we have more pluses then minuses. Awesome....if things keep up I may have to learn Polish. You know learning Russian was like ^%%$#%$#&. I am just glad Poland uses the latin alphabet instead of cyrillic. ;)
dourbest741   
7 May 2007
Love / Rules for dating Polish girls [189]

Southern I have found you active in another posting again. Let me try my hands at this. I live in Chicago with a predominat polish community. I have noticed though that Polish girls and the Chicago girls have the same view on life. Perhaps like what was said, middle class, independent and educated. It seems in my city, not talking about polish girls in general that they have become very materialistic like their American counterparts and that has much to do with the media I believe.

Now I will let my experience with romanians I've met were in lesser positions that most polish women I've known but I've seen them fight for their men like they were the last piece of cheesecake they were going to see in a while. I've never questioned why but I've found it kind of nice. I've seen romanian girls choose men their heart fell apart for.....but to a previous posting there is truth that they must do what they must do to survive. Now which brings me onto Lithuania. Is the culture similar? Do they fight for the men they love or do they wait for the stars, sun and the moon to align before making a romantic move? Girls in my city end up waiting until they are 36 years of age and the polish girls in my city are edging up there too. We are seeing less of the cinderella and more of the cinderella's sisters and I hope the shift we are seeing is not western media related because that is about to sweep southeast into Romania, Bulgaria and eventually Russia where there is no hope. But if its just merely a cultural move then it might stay pretty much isolated as you said before southern most of these cultures are different.

Again this is what many have noticed in my city and I hope its isolated.
dourbest741   
8 May 2007
Love / Question: Do Polish girls prefer married men? [59]

In cases like these its unfortunate that someone singles would target someone unavailable. And just to be fair to eastern european girls I know of a moldovan girl who broke up with her DREAM spaniard boyfriend after she found out he was married. Most southern eastern europeans I know are very aggressive when seeking a SINGLE man I am aware of that but any married man that plays part of any game is 50% to blame.
dourbest741   
8 May 2007
Love / Polish ladies seem to be in high demand at the moment. [105]

actually, maybe romanian women are not as overmarketed. They are treasures too. I've seen them keep to only one man but they ride him harder then Sancho Panza and his donkey when it comes to demands in a relationship but I think thats ok!! She's a dark haired beauty, she treats you well so that you can keep up the family, beats your a** if you look at another woman or get out of line, but she gives you hugs and kisses everyday as long as she feels you are still hers. Not so bad if u ask me.....................
dourbest741   
9 May 2007
Love / Men attitude towards women in the Polish culture [82]

oliwiacz my romanian ex use to treat me like your boyfriend. Nice! Except i use to pay for everything....lol. Interesting to know how these things work!! Maybe someone can answer?? So do I have this straight.....

In Poland Men control and pay for all the bills and take care of you? Its kind of almost Italian men type too but the rest can be said of some men in western european countries too right?
dourbest741   
10 May 2007
Love / Ok new game plan....my polish experience take 2 [42]

Hi everyone. I've made some good friends here along the way and this forum is awesome. Now I posted in another post about transitioning from a romanian relationship to a polish one. Here is the update and I need some of your ideas.

Here is a quick recap. Girl has been here for 5 years or more. We've been going out a once per week as she gets out at 10pm usually and places close at about oh 10. So we do weekend things. Now she wants to be friends first and grow it out from there. Now honestly its been a couple of months. From dating romanians I feel kinda wrong to do this but here it goes. My option is to sit and wait until this polish bonsai tree grows or should I start going out with more polish girls until one commits to a relationship?

Now this is new for me. My first year trying out Poles...but Poles in my city who have already been exposed to yankee culture for a few years. I mean dating many girls at one time is something I use to do almost 6 years ago. But I'd like to get into a relationship so I can make my own determination if the "polish" thing is what its cracked up to be and growing friends is kinda nutz. So I've heard here that polish girls date many guys at the same time and then I hear some don't. Looking to operate correctly within the polish rules. Ok everyone.....lets hear it! :D
dourbest741   
11 May 2007
Love / Ok new game plan....my polish experience take 2 [42]

Sorry for the term. But a more politically correct explanation would be:

I've grown up in a romanian neighborhood and have thus far had relations with women from that culture. This is my first encounter with a female from a culture which is defined as Polish and wanted to make sure the social dating rules were correct. Although none of the romanians were exactly the same they did show similarities which coincided with their upbringing, culture and tradition. So from my previous description above I was hoping on whether this friendship sounds like it has any possibilities of growing into more or is it preferred to see multiple women from this culture until one develops into a relationship?

Sorry I put my previous post in leaman's terms.
dourbest741   
11 May 2007
Love / Ok new game plan....my polish experience take 2 [42]

Hey southern you did hit it on the bullesye. Just seeing if this thing will even lead that far. Its hard to guage though as a lot of my friends in my city have been friends with their boyfriends for over ayear before moving forward intimately. And then there are some that find out a year later that they are staying friends which is disappointing I have to admit for any person because you put in a year of time when you could have gone out with other people to find your other half.
dourbest741   
14 May 2007
Love / Ok new game plan....my polish experience take 2 [42]

nauczyciel you are a genius!!! She is "seeing" multiple guys.......you guys are pretty good if I must say so myself. You saved myself some effort and some $$$. If you guys are ever in chicago gimme a buzz and I got lunch!

Ciao 4 now ;)
dourbest741   
16 May 2007
Love / Foreigner's opinion about polish ladies [304]

In my city stereotypes reign. As for polish women they are considered to be warm, sociable, educated. But in my experiences, 2 years after any foreign women come stateside they are a little untrusting, careful and slow to grow in a relationship. Which leads to natives dating their own race because they feel more comfortable. Unfortunately there are many men like southern have said that want easy one night stands. It screws over all the men who want an easy relationship but I guess you cannot control a culture as you can only work around it.

I can kind of agree with FISZ here. Even though I'd personally rather be in a relationship rather then waiting forever as friends then moving into a relationship I think you must do whatever it takes to protect the heart. Indicate hey this could possibly go somewhere if you try hard enough mentality. Plenty of luck!!!
dourbest741   
23 May 2007
Love / Foreigner's opinion about polish ladies [304]

Girls never help shy boys? In most you are right.

Ken have you tried other countries? About five years ago French and Russian cultures have made such an impression on me that everyone has there own quirks and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Romania has been an eye opener actually with super aggresive women. If you've come from a "I need perfection culture" as I do the views of other culture's women help to create an entireley humble man. And as a disclaimer when I mention those countries I mention my experience and not trying to stereotype everyone.

So maybe it could be polish maybe not but somewhere in each country there will be some girl who will take the time to learn more about you. You know what they say, princesses need the perfect man but queen's can turn any man into a knight. So the search continues.........