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Posts by lena  

Joined: 13 Jan 2009 / Female ♀ 		Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 2 / In This Archive: 2
Posts: Total: 14 / In This Archive: 14 		From: ireland
Speaks Polish?: no

Displayed posts: 16
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lena   
13 Jan 2009
Love / I'm pregnant of a polish guy [90]

it's not the end of the world
same thing happened to me i'm irish and separated already had an eight yr old daughter from my ex husband met fell for polish guy told him i was pregnant and havent seen him since although he rang my four mths into the pregnancy and told me he had new girlfriend and i wished him the best wanted nothing from him but for him to see his child my little boy is 10mths spit of his father delightful and brings so much joy to me and his sister my only regret is i was too afraid of getting hurt to tell him that i cared and acted to indepentant still think of him as i just felt so connected to him but will never regret having my son wish you all the best with the baby its hard there is no denying that but 1 little smile from my son and it makes it all worth while so have your baby and enjoy being a mother because the rewards are worth it he knews he has a son tried to txt him pics and begged him to see him when push comes to shove he will regret his decision at some stage in his life might be to late for our kids but the hope is always there

sorry forgot to say do get in touch email him and ask about family medical history allegies etc as this can be very useful for the future and if you need any support or advice my email is drummeyel@live.co.uk again best of luck for the future
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

Don't really know where to start this or how I met a polish guy through work and admit I felt a spark straight away we worked together for two years and got on really well there was alittle bit of flirting going on in them two years finally when he knew he was about to leave ask me when we were going to sit and drink some vodka as a separated single mom i don't get out very often and have severe trust issues and olay my cards very close to my chest as i don't want to get hurt again but took a chance and gave him directions to my house I thought it was a mess a casual flirt to my surprise he arrived at my house and one thing lead to another don't usually sleep with guys first time together but thats what happened next day in work i was very embrassed and told him im not usually like that was quite straight about not wanting anyone in work to know as he is nine years my junior this type of thing went on for nearly 1.5yrs we never actually went out together always stayed in my house and our meetings weren't often once a month but I fell for him it was just so comfortable and safe when we were together despite to language difference but I got pregnant he wasnt ready for that neither was I he requested me to abort but it was something i couldnt do i told him straight i wanted nothing off him and that i knew he'd no feelings that way towards me and that it was what it was just a fling but if he wanted to be in the babys life i was fine with that he has never seen the baby who is 10mths old now but my biggest regret is i was to afraid to say how much I liked him and wonder maybe by my approach to the situation did I push him away as I really don't know if he did like me or used me I still think about him and miss the closeness I felt to him as I never felt that way with my ex husband anyone any suggestions I know he has another girlfriend as he ring when I was four mths pregnant to tell me he was seeing someone else but I really did not want him to stay out of duty so anybody out there can tell me did he like me or use me as I hate looking in my sons eyes (he's the spit of him) and feeling such regret
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

thats abit harsh he didnt want a baby neither did i but could not abort so child support is a no no its different with my ex husband as we married and decided to start a family i feel yes he is responsible as it was an agreed decision this pregnancy wasn't part of me feels he thinks i got pregnant un purpose but after 8yrs of struggling to rear my daughter alone this was far from the case yes financially its tough and was nearly faced with homelessness over xmas as rent allowance fell through but the bigger help would be for him to see his son and take him out for awhile as surviving on 3hrs sleep a night has me like a zombie
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

thank you all in response of do his family know i don't know if they do and wouldn't know how to connact them it would b nice if his grandparents did want to know him i would have no objections to this but as for child support i suppose because this is a constant issue with my ex hubby for 8yrs that i havent the energy to start another battle as from experience i know how draining it can be and my ex feels he has a right to pop in and out of my daughters life when the mood takes him ie xmas and birthdays which emotionally is very hard on her as the older she gets the more of her feelings she can put into words when i tell her to tell her father she is afraid to rub him up the wrong way in case he never comes back so u see while he is getting off as you put it some men take child support to the point of the child being a possession and yes its my own fault im in this mess through bad decisions as for contraception my pill failed because of another tablet i was taking which was making me sick my fault for relying solely on a contraception which had never failed me in the past sorry for bad grammer but baby havin bottle on knee while writing
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

thank you chloe wouldnt say smart but very used to going it alone i know itll get easier pro 18yrs time lol but its always nice to air a situation to see the answer more clearly

dccchris if life was meant to be easy we would all be born with a winning lotto ticket
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

Thread attached on merging:
did i push him away

sorry closed by accident
chloe your right your neighbour will be okay
a friend of mine who would be very spiritual put it this way when we decide to be we make a decision on our lives and what lessons we want to learn but in that decision we chose who are parents are so can can have certain charactoristics(prob spelt wrong) which i think about at times and im actually delighted that both my children may have seen something worthwhile to inhert from me to help them on their journey and i think it is something that every parent should think it did help me with the fact i couldnt terminate as he was meant to be acccident or not he chose to be
lena   
14 Jan 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

i agree but is it really my place to tell them and wouldnt know where to start although i knew him and his surname wouldnt be 100% what part of poland he is from and although i believe they have a right to know their their grandson and my son has a right to his heritage and to know them i would not feel comfortable going behind his back and maybe he has told them as i say i don't know
lena   
23 Feb 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

hi all again thank you all for your advice.
I did take it all in and after a long think, I think you are right about maybe approaching his parents while he may not want to have anything to do with his son maybe his grandparents will wantto know and have contact with him, so here I am looking for help again as to how to go about finding them. to send them a letter and a picture or two and take it from there. all I know about him is his age date of birth and his name not too sure what part of poland he is from even. then again maybe his parents know he has a child and have advised him to do nothing, but for my sons sake I would like him if possible to have contact with his grandparents and to know his hertiage.
lena   
23 Feb 2009
Love / Are Polish men generally possessive? [51]

Is it normal for Polish people to only go out together if they are married or live together and not to go out with their friends seperately? Do all Polish men want their women to be at home most of the time?

surely this is not a matter of cultural differences as it is a matter of trust. which to me if a partner does not trust another partner there is something lacking in a relationship people of all nationalites need time to be themselves not just some-ones partner/ mother etc maybe your best mate who is a guy fancies you and your partner knows this which is why they don't get along
lena   
23 Feb 2009
Love / About Personal Problems (English / Polish relationships) [32]

maybe your right maybe we give wrong advice but it is an opinion and thats why people for an outside take on things as for his cheating/married etc

it works both ways after reading a few posts man generally have the opinion she wants someone with money,
yes people cheat it's been done to me often enough why this happens to me its a moral issue they have none i would much prefer someone to brake up with me if they are not happy than to cheat on me.

as the point woman are after men with money that's their probelm
i think alot of women would be happier with someone who is broke but has respect for them than someone with money I know this is the case for me and alot of my friends

who are all single mums by the way left to get on with it
and on numerous discussions can't beleave how naive many men really are as the tend to go for the eye candy for their ego's these are normally very vain and yes after the money and treat their partners like dirt and to this day it still amazes us that we are very decent woman and would treat our partners if the had respect for us really well aren't even looked at

and they only way to spot a cheater before a relationship starts is for them to have it written on their foreheads
or the old saying once a cheater always a cheater
lena   
28 Feb 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

I can help you too,pm me.

sorry how do i pm you
i do know how to contact the father as i still have his mobile number and have rang for medical questions on allergies and the father is still here in ireland just that i know his folks back in poland don't know and as we met in work i didn't want my workmates to know we'd been seeing each as my private life is private and not for gossip in work, so it made it very easy for him to walk away as no-one knows he is a dad, i have txt him to tell him him to tell his parents or that i would but got no response as he proably thinks i,m bluffing but the longer it is left the worse it would be as i,ve said to him he is denying his parents the right to be grandparents and more importantly denying his son the right to know his family, the may not want to know but that is their decision to make and it should be given to them. I know they haven't much and I haven't but they could always kkep up contact with me sending them pictures and If i could get someone to teach my son polish then as he grows he could have phone contact or see them over the web whatever i have the letter written and have it transulated into polish so i just need to find out where in poland they live.

You lost him forever and its all your fault.

If I've lost him forever isn't an issue really as I felt I never had him but it is his fault that his son has lost him forever as he just couldn't be bothered and with that being the case he would be worth having cause family value is very important to me as they are the only true people you can count on to be there for you when the shit hits the fan.
lena   
5 Mar 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

I was thinking of trying to take an advert out in the main polish newspaper trying to contact them that way maybe forwrd the letter via email to the paper and taking out an ad to inform them the paper had a letter for them
lena   
6 Mar 2009
Love / did i push him away [36]

well i wasn' going to take out an ad saying they were grandparents.
just something like could they contact the newspaper as they are holding a letter for them as the person trying to reach them had no address
lena   
8 Mar 2009
Love / Whose Life is it? Polish girlfriend under family "house arrest" [224]

Lads and Lassies.......Im not going to Poland. I may sound niaive in my ramblings on this thread but im not. I know what would lie ahead. Remember....I know this Ex. He worked for me. She knows where I am IF (small word with alot of meaning) she wants me....IF not then more the fool me for worrying over nothing.

Member
Threads: 1
Posts: 29
Joined: Feb 23, 09

being taken for a fool myself by polish lad glad to see you now have your head screwed on, whats the point chasing something or someone who doesnt want to be chased. As a girl i'd say she likes the drama of you thinking she's helpless, as a woman i'd say she needs to grow up.