Love / My Polish boyfriend never says 'l love you' to me, what should i do? [93]

Hi, everyone, I have been depressed for a month for my relationship with my polish boyfriend. I couldn't sleep, thinking about it all the night. I am a Chinese girl in early 30s. Maybe you have got some informations about my relationship with him from my former posts.

Here is the problem:
I have been with my polish boyfriend for one year. I am working in denmark and he is working in poland now. i am going to visit him in three days, cos next tuesday is our one year's anniversary. He never says 'i love you' to me. in fact from the beginning it was me who insisted the relationship. He is kind of person who seldom tell people what is deep in his mind, but use joke to hide his feelings. It is hard to be with this kind of man for the relationship, cos no communication often brings out misunderstanding, but soon or later i got used to this. He is very sweet to me when we are together, endless kisses, caresses, make me feel like a little girl under his safe arms, which is exactly what i wanted from i was a little girl. I have been strong, independent for years. but i am not aggressive, i always listen to him and respect his decision.

(Have to explain the chinese culture background. I am a doctor in science and work as an assistant professor in danish university now. if i was in china, i am sort of women no man would like to marry with, no matter how beautiful i look like and how well i cook. chinese men feel threaten by intelligent women)

back to the topic. we had talked once, like six month after the relationship. i asked if he loves me, he said if he loved me he should have married me. he likes me a lot, but not sure it is love or not, and that we can keep the relationship, until i find someone else. i was so sad and desperated when i heared this. but after one night's self struggle, i decided to keep the relationship although his attitude was really lack of affection and a kinda of insult for me. i love him so much that i am willing to risk, to make him love me.

hopefully after that conversation he was nicer to me, he invited me for xmas with his family, and his family and friends treated me like a pearl. after three month i went to poland again for easter holiday like 2 weeks together. we sleep togeth in his parents home like a real couple, his mother prepared the bed for us. i really feel like a family member.

so my questions are:
1.is it normal that polish men bring their girlfriends to their parents home like my bf did to me? i really hope it is a sign a promisement or engagement.

2. should i ask him something like "if he loves me, where we are" at the 1 year anniversary night? I didnt ask him anything after i got that bad answer six month again, i am self-esteemed person, and afraid of getting ashamed with unexpected answer.

3. should i keep meeting him in poland without him visiting me in denmark. although i know he is not in good financial situation, but it is pretty unfair for me as a girl to do all the efforts, not talking about the money, but all the trouble to apply for the visa everytime i go to poland. will he feel be insulted if i told him i can cover all his costs if he visit me in denmark?

4. although he was very nice and sweet to me when we were staying together, he never called me when i was in denmark, we chat sometimes by msn, it was always me who called from time to time. is it a sign of no love? i am pretty comfused.

5. i know he is not in a right direction for his career, he insisted in doing small labor business in poland although he is educated as an engineer. he is a very intelligent man in my heart :P. I have always been supportive for his decision although i know it is not a very wise one. should i point it out, i dont want to hurt his pride and i dont want to be a woman who try to control her man.

I have been thinking of these problems for long time. i cannt feel totally happy when these problems come to my mind. sometimes he asked me why i didnt look happy, how can i answe him with all these problems. I have also talked with my friends here in denmark, but chinese friends opinons are too practically based, in their mind I can only marry a professor; while nordic friends opinons are also too self based, they seek for equal, equal affection, equal payout, equal housework, cannt understand sacrifice for love. nobody support me to be a housewife in poland without job, although it was only my own plan.

so i would really appreciate any opinons from a polish point of view that is a combination of both traditional values and westen free mind.

sorry for my broken english if i didnt explain all the story well.
thank you in advance

News / Poland to join the Schengen zone the beginning of next year [36]

i read the news on 25th, May, that the interior ministry said Poland is ready to join the schengen zone in 2008, no delay.

Life / Maternity leave in Poland [4]

i want to know how can a woman be qualified for this maternity leaving.
for example: i am now working in denmark, from Jan 2008 i am going to work in Poland and pay polish social insurance.
can i get a full paid maternity leave if I have a baby after six months' work in poland?
and how much can i get paid since i only work six month in poland.

i checked the rule, it says the pay is based on the last 12 months avarage salary. is this "average" my average salary or the average wage in poland?

thank you very much for any information