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Help me! I fell in love with a Polish man!


rowan 1 | 19  
31 Dec 2006 /  #1
Hello everyone. I am an English woman aged 38 and on Christmas night i met a Polish man aged 31. He knew a little English but i knew no Polish; he came back to my house and we stopped trying to speak and made-love instead.

He visited me 2 days later, the evening before flying home - he was only here for Christmas, staying with Polish relatives. We attempted to talk more this time - i had learnt some words on an internet site. I had fallen head over heels in love with him. We exchanged email addresses. He said his computer was broken but could go to an internet cafe.

I have emailed him but heard nothing yet. I am in limbo not knowing if i will ever hear from him again. I swear there was love and sadness in his eyes when he left.

What i would like advice on is this: will he be thinking that i am just a dirty. loose English tart? And therefore not worth staying in touch with? He asked me what my religon was before he left and seemed pleased we are both Catholic despite what we had done together.

Are there any problems sending and receiving emails between here and Poland? Or Apple Mac issues? He only left here on Thursday - perhaps the cafes are all closed. I understand that there is more poverty over there and probably less cyber awareness.

My Polish learning kit is on it's way from Amazon - i hope to Bog i get to use it with the very beautiful man i met. I am so sad that he has gone.

Moje serce jest chore.
feral belcher  
31 Dec 2006 /  #2
He said his computer was broken

Fat chance

Are there any problems sending and receiving emails between here and Poland? Or Apple Mac issues?

No problems there.
My advice: Keep trying. If you don't hear from him in a few days forget him.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
31 Dec 2006 /  #3
Rowan said she fell in love with him. People don't just fall in love that easily. So she's not going to just forget him.

I really feel for you, rowan. The holidays might be the reason he hasn't responded to your emails. And also, at age 31 he might be too immature to understand how this hurts you.
feral belcher  
31 Dec 2006 /  #4
So she's not going to just forget him.

If he doesn't answer will she have a choice?
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
31 Dec 2006 /  #5
I don't think she has to forget him even if he never answers. Some experiences are worth remembering forever. But that doesn't mean she won't find love again.
kaka 1 | 142  
1 Jan 2007 /  #6
perhaps the cafes are all closed. I understand that there is more poverty over there and probably less cyber awareness.

cyber awareness here in Poland is the same as in UK.
not all cafes are closed, there are some open but in the bigest cities, besides it's Christmas Time and Holidays, so usually people spend them with their famillies. and if he has broken comp, he probably dont have time to look for an open cafe.

I would advise you to wait one week more
Maati 1 | 178  
1 Jan 2007 /  #7
He probably has internet connection at home.
Maybe his English is not too good and ha just cannot understand you or he has a wife and kids here, sorry, but that happens...
telefonitika  
1 Jan 2007 /  #8
Hope you dont get hurt ... i liked a polish lad but never understood if he liked me even though he did all the playful taps and cuddles and spoke (made the effort) to me :( but alas it just never materalised. gutted as he is well cute too :)
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #9
he came back to my house and we stopped trying to speak and made-love instead.

will he be thinking that i am just a dirty. loose English tart?

Well if you had sex on first date he could think about you in this way, "English slut" (Sorry for honesty), probably right now he is talking about English woman he f**ed. In Poland it is almost impossible to have sex with woman on first date except when she is a PERMISSIVE and this way men in PL think about woman that give ass on first meeting, sorry but you wanted honest answer, probably he is rejoice right now with some beers and friends, if not he truly loves You, but this is 5% chance.
Maati 1 | 178  
1 Jan 2007 /  #10
Men are pigs. They'll always be...Unfortunately, Babylon is probably right. I think this guy may also talk now with his buddies in a pub (we have pubs in Poland :) that he's so great, he could not even speak English well, but f*** British woman on their first "date".

What is kinda romantic for us, for them is just a pure sex. I think he may have even a girlfriend or wife here, that he cheated on ...
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #11
Thankyou Kaka. I will wait - until the end of time if i have to!
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #12
Once again sorry for my honesty, but I wrote this from my/man point of view. Sorry for the woman cuz now she won't learn Polish probably. But hay woman, this is not sure for 100%, try to contact him, maybe he is not so bad, but if you had sex with him on first date, he won't be so romantic about it. You have done it cuz You want it now don't expect that this Pole is thinking about you all the time, cuz In Poland there are many beautiful girls much much prettier than English women.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #13
Yes i am worried about this, Maati - about his possibly old-fashioned ideas about how women should behave and what to call them afterwards regardless of who seduced who and the fact that we were in it together.

He told me he had an ex-wife and young child but that they weren't together anymore. Surely if they were together, he would have brought them with him to his cousin's baby's Baptism which is why he was here in the first place?

Feral - have you never fallen in love with frightening rapidity? It is the most powerful feeling the world.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
1 Jan 2007 /  #14
Rowan,

You filled a moment with something you both wanted at a particular time. You are no more a tart than he is a gigolo. There are some men, who given the chance would leave their morals at the door step. He knew what he was doing, as you did, and used you to his advantage. He knew he would never see you again. I think you are old enough to realize this. It's time to move on.
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #15
I understand that there is more poverty over there and probably less cyber awareness.

This text is just OMG, I can assure that in Poland there is much more cyber awareness. Polish peoples are the most visible on internet international forums (know this from my activity on betting sports forums). Almost everyone has internet at home, and your "boyfriend" has it also at home. "The broken comp" could be a excuse, cuz comp can be fixed very fast and internet connection much faster, you said:

more poverty over there

Well be advise that It this could be true so why he didn't stay in UK and come back to Poland. Poles are just lazy about working in Poland for much less salary, they prefer to work in UK, even though this is hard to adjust in UK climate, etc.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #16
It's ok Babylon - thankyou for your honesty and Polish man's point of view. I am praying for the 5 % you mention.
And in my defence, without meaning to sound arrogant, I am actually pretty gorgeous like Juliette Binoche!:)

well why does it hurt so much, Wroclaw, so that i can't eat or sleep?
uk_ 8 | 85  
1 Jan 2007 /  #17
He told me he had an ex-wife and young child but that they weren't together anymore. Surely if they were together, he would have brought them with him to his cousin's baby's Baptism which is why he was here in the first place?

Rowan you made a mistake. Why you slept with him on first date? Do you sleep with every guys on first date?
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #18
I am very happy for Polish people all having the internet and someone to come and fix their computer the second it breaks down and then lie about all this just because they have had the honour of sleeping with a single woman who is no better than a slut, apparently.
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #19
Call him for 2pi/min to his landlines telephone number at weekend. If you don't have this number than as yourself why? At price 2pi/min you can talk a lot and ask him, if he can come to you or maybe you can come to Poland? Very cheap flights and many attractions in Poland.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #20
No i do not sleep with men on the first date. This was very unusual but i have no way of proving this to the man even if i could speak Polish

Babylon - he asked for my telephone numbers. I was too shy to ask for his.
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #21
Once again i'm very sory for my honestly, better be prepared for the worst. And this man-pigs Polish pigs maybe I don't think this is a Polish specialty. Well there are so many Poles in UK, try to find another one and thrown him away.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #22
Looks like i have been very, very stupid doesn't it? I had stopped believing in love and kept myself alone for a long time. Now the minute i meet someone, the whole thing is ruined before it even began.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
1 Jan 2007 /  #23
well why does it hurt so much, Wroclaw, so that i can't eat or sleep?

It hurts because you were lonely and in need of someone. He made you feel good and, unfortunately, you fell for it. If I'm wrong please say so and I'll apologize.
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #24
Well You was shy to ask the number and not shy to have sex with him, if you felt for him why not ask about the number, well you didn't know he will not call you. Well if you have his Polish address it is easy to find his number landline, but the next thing is how good he is in English and if he can speak fluently. From what city in Poland he is?

Maybe you can give me his email address and if he answer me I will ask him about his "gadu gadu number" (gg is a polish internet communicator - if he has a internet he has GG online when his computer is on) or maybe I can even talk to him on GG and he will tall me what he think of you, and why he did not answer, is he single, etc.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #25
I was shy to ask for number in case he gave me false one which would have hurt. I did not want to appear needy. I do not have his address either. He has my numbers, address and email - it's up to him. He knows i wanted to take things further.

He lives in Lublin.

hey Babylon - that is really sweet of you but are you sure you will not just meet up for beers to talk about the English slut he f****d?
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #26
HAHA no way! Probably he is not from my city. Why should I do so? I can help you, he wouldn't know who is calling him in email, I can get his GG number talk to him and know something more for you, the only one problem is how to start talk to him. Maybe I will ask something about UK - is there a job, etc. I'm not sure if he will be willing to talk to me on GG, cuz peoples don't talk to strangers very often but at least I can try. My email is This: pavka_koper@yahoo.co.uk and you can download GG communicators: download.gadu-gadu.pl/gg76.exe - this is the only way to contact to him via net communicator. well you can try my help, right know I have a lot of time so I can do something to help you.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #27
I am sorry to be so defensive. That is a very kind offer.

okay - what do i do first??
I am on Apple Mac - not sure if this download will work. What is it for exactly anyway?
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #28
Give me his email, I will write to him, You have only his email, so this is the only way to start, you can write to me in email his email: pavka_koper@yahoo.co.uk and I have to think what write in this email that he will not think this email is a spam.
Lonestranger  
1 Jan 2007 /  #29
Looks like i have been very, very stupid doesn't it? I had stopped believing in love and kept myself alone for a long time. Now the minute i meet someone, the whole thing is ruined before it even began.

If you really love him, how come your belief is so weak that you will bring the topic in here. Here lives many kind of men and women. Some are innocent, some are pigs (and ms. pigs), some are polish cakes baked in USA oven, some are people who just cannot stick with one person.

Everyone views the world with their own eyes. Every Individual is carrying a unique picture of this world. Some are bad, others are worse, few are good to learn from.

For example:
I know a POLISH woman (a widow) of around 80 yrs of age. Her POLISH husband died in a road accident when she was 43!! She has a son and a daughter. She stayed his widow, she raised her children well. And her children are remarkable human beings with wonderful warm family lives. They are a family whose presense makes people believe in real love. So I love this family! Some may find their attitudes towards life very poor! Some might even feel that they are DOGS. It depends on people's thought.

But the important thing is that they are all happy and healthy. They have their own lives. They take the decision that gives them comfort in all respects. Now this family is not very religious...very rare in churches!

I know another women (my friends mom), who have married 1 man (and divorces), and by now has lived with 3 different men. She is now again looking. She is around 40. Her husband used to be better than the rest of her boyfriends (as my friend says, about her dad). However, she felt she found her real love with another man...and so on...etc. But, didnt work out later. So this lady is a strict Catholic, and a strong Polish Nationalist. She also brought up her children (with the help of her x-husband in many major financial matters). Her children are wonderful and intelligent people.

I personally have no wish to have a life like her (or be in any kind of love with a lady like her). It doesnt mean that I dont respect her (its my opinion).

But some people would do everything what she has done in life, because they might find it more logical. Some can have a different explanation of love and relationship. Some might even despise this life.

We all have various opinions. They might not (or might) give you any help. Out of this many views on the same topic...how will you choose?... Everyone will give a good presentation...because they follow that (and they feel confident about that).

One way is to talk with the PERSON INVOLVED. Dont think about anyone here, or that: MEN ARE PIGS, WOMEN SHOULD KEEP LOOKING, BE ALONE BETTER, GET KICKED AND CHEATED BY THE MAN AND STILL BE WITH HIM!!.... Just go ahead, see what kind of man he really is, talk with him, meet any relatives he has. Get married! Go home, and then disscuss some topics in computer or with friends (not being influenced by any of them). Only then you can have a happy life.

Happy New Year :)...And in my next talk i will propose my Japanese Girl friend...and i care less of the MYTHS of humanity...
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #30
Is it a chatting, Instant meenger? I think I already have this on Adium

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