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Help me! I fell in love with a Polish man!


Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #31
rowan

ICQ Number: 374-985-425
Nickname: Koper

this is my ICQ details, so we can talk.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gadu_Gadu

Click on this side and You will know what this is : Gadu Gadu, I can assure you 100% that if he has a internet he has GG online all the time when he is on his computer.

Yes you have this on ADIUM so now You will have to wait for my work to figured his number as im saying if he has internet all the time at home.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #32
I have sent you an email.

I have to go and take the dog for a walk now. Will try and configure you in Aduim later.
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #33
Ok thanks now I'm going offline and maybe be back in couple of hours. I have some ideas how to make he will respond and how to get the gg number, see you. Now I'm off line for some time.
kaka 1 | 142  
1 Jan 2007 /  #34
guys are everywhere the same. They never call. Sometimes I'm wondering what they are doing with phone numbers, just collecting, or what? why they are taking nubers if they are not going to call??

but hey rowan, take a time.. even though that it's very easy here to fix the comp, we still have christmas break. till tomorrow. as I told you before. wait one week more, after that if he dont write or call, forget him
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,148  
1 Jan 2007 /  #35
Men are pigs. They'll always be...Unfortunately

This is hateful feministic chuvanism...
Frank 23 | 1,183  
1 Jan 2007 /  #36
Well...certainly its a personal opinion...based on a lot of pain....by the sound of it......pity...:(
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
1 Jan 2007 /  #37
rowan,

I can understand how you fell in love with him because Polish men are irresistible. :) But it doesn't make sense to have someone try to find him for you like Babylon offered. If you saw that he had feelings for you, then he probably did. But obviously there are reasons he hasn't responded to your emails and his privacy should be respected.
kaka 1 | 142  
1 Jan 2007 /  #38
I think shewolf is right. If he has feelings for u, she will contact with u, but then when he realize that u ask sobody to find him u will look a bit silly..
OP rowan 1 | 19  
1 Jan 2007 /  #39
Thanks Shewolf and Kaka. I feel quite a lot more realistic about stuff now and really quite angry about the confused sexual morals.
Will post agian if anything miraculous happens!
Babylon 16 | 192  
1 Jan 2007 /  #40
Well Ok, I have send one email to him, probably he will not respond, and i'm not going to sent another one like Rowan said, so good luck Rowan!
Eurola 4 | 1,902  
1 Jan 2007 /  #41
So now we have 16 year old (Kitten) and 38 years old (Rowan). Both in a polish man.
I hope it all turns out fine! :)

BOTH IN LOVE IN A POLISH MAN!
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
1 Jan 2007 /  #42
So now we have 16 year old (Kitten) and 38 years old (Rowan). Both in a polish man.

Polish men have a way of casting women of all ages under a spell. :)
rafik 18 | 589  
1 Jan 2007 /  #43
Rowan you made a mistake. Why you slept with him on first date? Do you sleep with every guys on first date?

a virgin in his twenties make a judgement on a 38years old woman.:)
LoneStranger  
2 Jan 2007 /  #44
he is 16 or 20?, and she is 38!!??....if so... its disgrace .... first time i say....Polish should really be against it!
OP rowan 1 | 19  
2 Jan 2007 /  #45
NIE!!! Rafik was quoting the post from a young guy called UK who told me, from his wealth of experience, that i had made a mistake and then insulted me with his next question.

The polish man iofell in love with was also in his 30's. But thankyou for your long story yesterday. To answer your question, Lonewolf, the reason i 'bring it in here' is that i suspected i had offended the morals of Polish man by responding to his desire and as i don't know any Polish people I thought i'd go to Polish forum. If i could speak to the man in question i would but i can't - because he won't answer my emails.

Rafuk - thankyou very much for your post.

Eurola - we are both inlove WITH Polish men !!! hahahah!!:)

sorry - i mean Rafik
curious  
2 Jan 2007 /  #46
he is 16 or 20?, and she is 38!!??....if so... its disgrace

What if she were 40 and he was 25 and not a virgin, is it still a disgrace?
telefonitika  
2 Jan 2007 /  #47
Polish men have a way of casting women of all ages under a spell.

Very true statement backed up from a english female who fell for the personality and looks of a polish lad and nothing materalised not even a phone call ... oh has my number etc ... but ... but ... he allowed me to take a picture of him on my mobile phone not once but twice as the first time it never turned out and he went oh no no no you cant have a pic like that, so i said can i take another one then :) and surprisely he did let me!!!
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,148  
2 Jan 2007 /  #48
he allowed me to take a picture of him on my mobile phone not once but twice

Wow :)
telefonitika  
2 Jan 2007 /  #49
Wow

Would you have said that this is quite surprising of a polish male to allow the pic taken or did you mean it saracastically Grzegorz? lol.

As i was quite surprised that he let me take the picture in first place
dziwna_gruszka - | 197  
2 Jan 2007 /  #50
OH wow... you can just keep trying that is my advice!!! as well
Ranj 21 | 947  
2 Jan 2007 /  #51
Rowan, you have already e-mailed him, so the ball is in his court. If he doesn't respond, then look at it as a night of passion with someone you were attracted to. As for being a "slut", you are only a slut if you think you are---it does not matter what others think, it's what you feel about yourself that is important. You are a grown woman and he's a grown man.

I met a Polish man last summer who pursued me to no end. When we first met, I really was not looking for a relationship but he was very persistant. Over time, I fell for him, but as soon as he went back to Poland, I never heard from him again. I cared for him and still do---I hope he's doing well, but when I think about the reality of a relationship with him, I realize that the age difference, cultural difference and geographical distance is too much (at least for me) to seriously consider a long-term relationship. I have no regrets about the time I spent with him and have nothing but pleasant memories, including photos and gifts from him, that will be with me for the rest of my life.

I hope all goes well for you, but if it doesn't, don't beat yourself up----you had a good time, right?:)
Lonestranger  
3 Jan 2007 /  #52
What if she were 40 and he was 25 and not a virgin, is it still a disgrace?

Disgrace :)
OP rowan 1 | 19  
3 Jan 2007 /  #53
Thankyou Ranj. Yes i aggree that the ball is in his court and i am not going to make a fool of myself pursuing him. I am sorry that your guy disappeared without a trace. Men seem to be better at doing this than women. Are we just brought up with better manners? Or greater courage?? And, thankyou, i don't feel like a slut - although what i think about myself is not going to make him email me.

I will not ever get into bed with a man from a country where the sexual politics are stuck in the 1950's. It's like the sixties never happened over there, thanks to Comunism and the Pope.

So perhaps they can't help it.

But you don't watch a great film or eat a great meal and then run away screaming "Look what you made me do! I have no respect for you!!!"
Babylon 16 | 192  
3 Jan 2007 /  #54
I will not ever get into bed with a man from a country where the sexual politics are stuck in the 1950's. It's like the sixties never happened over there, thanks to Comunism and the Pope.

Well, maybe right but is it wrong that sexual politics stuck in the 1950's?

urbandictionary said: slut - a woman with the morals of a man

If he thought after what you did: "Well, I have used her, good for me. I will never call her, for what? She's a slut."

And you thought: "I hope he will call me and things go further" and you didn't have sex just for pleasure and to use him, but thinking about something more and have feelings for him than you have not a morals of a man, so you are not a slut.
OP rowan 1 | 19  
3 Jan 2007 /  #55
I know i am not a slut, some of you know i am not a slut but it is whether he knows this or not that is the question.

Basically, I fell in love and it looks like he didn't. So, that's it

My dog loves me and she doesn't care whether i am slut or not.

The sexual politics of the 1950's suited men better than women - this is why they had to change.
Babylon 16 | 192  
3 Jan 2007 /  #56
The problem looks like:

He would like to call and have a constant relationship with you, but on the other hand thinks: "If she went into bed with me on first meeting, she could do this with another guy" - So this is thinking affected that 60's never come to Poland and that Poland is CONSERVATIVE COUNTRY and sex so soon is just INADMISSIBILITY so that is what you are worried about, man from Poland can't have good opinion about woman from foreigner country that had sex with him so soon, and that is maybe a culture difference. The 2nd problem is that he can be in relationship here in Poland.
curious  
3 Jan 2007 /  #57
Quoting: curious, Post #56
What if she were 40 and he was 25 and not a virgin, is it still a disgrace?

Disgrace

Are you serious? Is it okay if the man is 40 and the woman is 25?:(
Matyjasz 2 | 1,544  
3 Jan 2007 /  #58
I will not ever get into bed with a man from a country where the sexual politics are stuck in the 1950's. It's like the sixties never happened over there, thanks to Comunism and the Pope.

So perhaps they can't help it.

But you don't watch a great film or eat a great meal and then run away screaming "Look what you made me do! I have no respect for you!!!"

I don't know how does it look in the Western Europe, but personally I like to put some energy in seducing a woman. The more effort I have to give the bigger reword and satisfaction I will get after completing my goal. Sure one night stands are fun, but the excitement very quickly vanishes, and there’s this feeling of emptiness after it. There’s just something missing. Situation looks totally different when there are all those love games involved. You know, those innocent looks, first chat, the art of conversation, compliments, flowers, messages hidden somewhere between the lines, the feeling of insecurity, getting to know each other, etc... I always were paying attention to the woman’s looks, but the thing that's really sexy for me was always personality. Is this what you meant by 1950's English sexual morality?

Still, I would be far from thinking that every woman that has sex on her first date is a slut. It can also be a very pleasant and metaphysical experience. Ok , I will stop here as I am starting to sound like a bloody Santana on LSD. :) My point is, that he doesn’t have to necessarily think about you as a “easy tart”. The thing that makes me think this way is what you have written in your first post, which other users and you as well seemed to overlooked, mainly that he visited you once more before he flew home. Not a very common thing to visit a slut for just a chat (I feel like rhyming :) ), thus in my opinion the cause why he still haven't contacted you is totally different. Maybe he is just trying to figure out what to do. It’s not an easy decision to engage in a relationship with a woman from a foreign country. At some point one of you will have to decide where will be your future home. Somebody will have to go for a compromise, and taking under consideration that's it is far more easier to start a new life in the UK that would probably mean leaving his family and friends. What nationality his children would be, how would you communicate with his parents, your future mother and father in law, etc... Woman tend to follow their feelings while men try rather act more reasonable. There are many possibilities. My advice for you is to wait a little more. If he doesn’t contact you, it means that he is a coward and not worth your time and nerves anyway. Wish you all the best. :)
Lonestranger  
3 Jan 2007 /  #59
Are you serious? Is it okay if the man is 40 and the woman is 25?

Not Ok... age difference can be at the most 9 years...

Ofcourse... people do whatever they want...but we should try and have somekind of order.

Men are usually older in marriage. But it is good if the difference be at most 3/4 years.
Women if older... let it be again 3/4 years.

I am talking love, marriage and a lasting relationship here.

Ranj

Ranj... I am curious about that Pic of yours in the display. Are you polish?...it looks like an exotic pair of eyes to me! (but very beautiful indeed!...if those are yourse...then you are quite amazing)
Matyjasz 2 | 1,544  
3 Jan 2007 /  #60
You have done it cuz You want it now don't expect that this Pole is thinking about you all the time, cuz In Poland there are many beautiful girls much much prettier than English women.

In what way a beautiful Polish woman is more beautiful than a beautiful English woman? :) It's sounds silly don't you think?

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