UK, Ireland /
All That Manners Business [I'm Polish, moved to UK as an au pair.] [87]
Oh-Oh. I'd get that 'unpolite girl' thing when i first arrived in UK and for the same reason - cos i didnt ask people how they were and said whateverrr a few times haha. So then i started asking it and it was fine. I started asking them every 5 minutes and i think they got the hint about just how pointless it was to me. I know it is stupid to us Poles becasue why ask how someone is if you totally don't wanna know, and funnily enough it is inappropriate to say you're actually not ok or start complaining about some aches and pains you were gettin recently. So my best advice is to get into that habit of saying 'how are you' and try to say it nicely, no attitude! I know what you're like ha ha... After a while when people get used to you you can stop doing it, they will ask you first sometimes so you just say fine thanks and move on. The English love their small talk.
As for the mommy, she's acting like she's jealous that her beloved boy has another woman in his life. She is well aware that you come from a different culture so she can't expect you to act like you were English, she's just being petty and she knows it. I know it p*sses you off but get her something like a box of chocolates and talk to her about how sad it makes you feel when she says bad things about you and how she refuses to sit down for a meal with you. Tell her you really care about having a good relationship with her. The English are not very direct people and they hardly ever say what they think and feel to your face, so if you approach her like that she will listen to you as if you were Jesus babe haha. That is all you can do, at least you will show her you're mature about the situation unlike she is, she should know better and come to terms with the fact that her son will find a woman and fall in love. Is she a single mom or are Joe's folks married and living together? Is he the only child? Cos that would explain many things... if you can't think of any subjects to discuss with her, just chat about the weather, or maybe watch a few episodes of coronation street or eastenders, they all watch it (i know it's rubbish! lol) and start a convo about that.
I know exactly how you feel, and i know this small talk is stupid but it makes them happy, if they moan about you not saying 'how are you' then they obviously have nothing else to pick on. You're awesome, keep it that way. Loooove xox
