it is inappropriate to say you're actually not ok or start complaining about some aches and pains you were gettin recently.
Not true :) If someone asks me how I'm feeling, and I'm feeling like crap, I tell them I'm feeling crap!!
The English love their small talk.
Never liked small talk - it's banal
she's just being petty and she knows it
Absolutely right. However, I would add that she's rather insular too.
get her something like a box of chocolates
Don't buy her the chocolates - it will just feed (no pun intended) her obvious feeling of superiority over you, or give her the impression that you're trying to suck-up to her.
Just tell her how you feel about your relationship with her. She'll probably do one of 2 things: she'll respond to your concerns and explain how she feels . . . or . . . she'll just ignore you and carry on as before. If she does the latter, there's nothing you can say or do to change the situation - better that you can work around the situation. Generally, this means having as little contact with her as possible.
The English are not very direct people and they hardly ever say what they think and feel to your face
Not entirely true. I am very happy to say that I don't conform to that stereotype, nor do my friends & contemporaries. My girlfriend is Polish and is not afraid of saying what she feels to my face, be it good or bad, a trait I like very much - so refreshing :)
if you can't think of any subjects to discuss with her, just chat about the weather, or maybe watch a few episodes of coronation street or eastenders, they all watch it (i know it's rubbish! lol) and start a convo about that
Given the amount of airtime that coronation street & eastenders get during the day and evening this probably isn't the best of topics to discuss - she'll probably switch on the TV so she can catch up on the episodes she's missed!!! The weather is usually a safe bet ;)
Based on what you have written it would seem that you are in a no-win situation. Your boyfriend's mother has decided that she doesn't like you - I don't think she's jealous of your relationship with her son - some people are like that.
Instead, think of ways you can work around being in close proximity to her - out of sight is out of mind! Finally, if she refuses to accept you as you are that's her problem - enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend as best you can.