Off-Topic /
PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]
The last ever Omnibus EditionAs we all know, the world ends tomorrow so I thought it best to use this opportunity to pen the last edition, to make peace with my maker (Admin) and to have a few last parting shots at some of the members. As yet, exactly how the end will come is not clear. Earlier this evening I thought I could see a giant fireball in the sky but it turned out to be the farmer at the top of the ridge outside my home having a bonfire. My betting is on a neutron star sucking us to bits with its extraordinary gravitational force. If it does end that way it's at least going to be quick, probably the quickest bj in history. Maybe it will be a giant flood. It's certainly been raining heavily here today. Anyway, no point indulging in idle speculation. It's time to make my final confessions:
• I have to admit that I was secretly in love with Pingwin. Of course that is between you and me because even if it the last night I don't want the Boss finding out, even at this late stage. No point going to meet my maker in a wheelchair. I don't know what happened to Pingwin but she was very sweet and kind to people on here.
• Yes, I followed the dark side to that other Forum where I was so prolific I don't think I've reached 100 posts yet. About the same as on here over the same period. Now my leaving made bugger all difference to most people but it has caused a rift between me and one of the mods who is no longer talking to me. You know who you are. Pie would like to say sorry and it's not too late to kiss and make up you know. Mwahhh. There, I feel better already.
• This next one has haunted me for years. I don't even know whom I should be apologising to. Many years ago when I was a strapping youth who virtually lived on the beaches of Bournemouth, I once committed a heinous crime. A group of rather attractive ladies went off for a swim in The Channel leaving behind their clothes and crucially, a camera. In the high spirits of youth my friends and I decided to drop our trunks and snap the wedding tackle before replacing the camera unnoticed. Somewhere one of them had to have been arrested at a branch of Boots in London and it was all my fault. Before you ask, there was no zoom on the camera.
• There are many, many more things that I should confess but I see dtaylor has opened up the bar for the PF end of world party so I'll just add one more. I was the only one of the seven year olds in my class in Toxteth that couldn't drive a car at that age and also didn't have a collection of hub caps. Perhaps that is why I was sent to Bournemouth in disgrace.
As my parting shot I'm going to resurrect an old idea of mine from way back on here - which album or song track do I associate with posters on here?
Des - Several Species of Furry Animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a Pict (why use one word when twenty will do) (Pink Floyd)
Harry - Here Today, Gone Tomorrow (The Ramones)
WB - Sorry seems to be the hardest word (Elton John)
Bubba - Never mind the bo****Ks, here's the entrepreneur (sort of S*x Pistols)
Oh crap, I can't be bothered any more. I'll use the last moments to finish my autobiography which was to be called The Life of Pie before that Canadian tw*t nicked my title. It will now be called - I did it her way.
See you on the other side (if you believe in that sort of thing)
Ciao