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POLISH SIBLINGS SLEEPING TOGETHER!


wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #1
i am a British girl and i go out with a Polish guy, he is sweet and everything but really has quite a temper on him. he loves me and everything, but his sister came to stay an he has 2 double beds and 1 single bed, he chooses to sleep in the same bed with his sister.

he is 20 and she is 17. is this normal polish tradition to sleep with siblings so later in life. its weird and Ive told people this story and most of them say it sounds like he is actually having sex with her. I'm scared if its true.

he pulls up her trousers because he thinks its too low, thats disgusting. he spends loads of time with her and i hate that.

when i try to tell him i don't like him spending so much time with her, he keeps saying I'm jealous of her. WHAT? I'm not. i think they are two close. its just him and her you see. but still, thats just too damn close.

shes gone back to Poland now and he said to me that he realizes sleeping with her was wrong. but now i wanna ask him straight out if he is touching her or having sex. I'm scared that hell leave me and think I'm sick which I'm not. its just how he treats her is more like a girlfriend than a sister.

also I'm scared that he will say no and lie. he could lie to me and i will never know. how do i know if hes telling the truth? what should i do? is it tradition in Poland, or are there some Polish here that agrees its wrong?

I'm not sick, its just the way he i with her.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #2
how sure are you that she is definitely his sister and not a friend or girlfriend?? It sounds extremely strange to me.
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #3
it is his sister because i met their family and went poland with him. ive seen pictures and family photos. what do you think? what should i ask him?
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #4
well Im not Polish so dont know.. maybe they are just very close and it was innocent, but seems a bit odd at their age and if there was another empty bed available. I wouldnt like it myself.
Ranj 21 | 948  
5 Sep 2007 /  #5
his sister came to stay an he has 2 double beds and 1 single bed, he chooses to sleep in the same bed with his sister.

I SERIOUSLY doubt that was his sister........

im scared that hell leave me and think im sick which im not. its just how he treats her is more like a girlfriend than a sister.

also im scared that he will say no and lie.

Ok, so you are convinced he's sleeping with his "sister", yet you are worried that he might leave YOU and think you are sick.......you cannot be for real......:(
Ronek 1 | 261  
5 Sep 2007 /  #6
well did you stay at his place during that time? if yes then the answer is simple, he is a conservative catholic and it was better for him to sleep in the bed with his sister then share the bed with you and then having his sister come back to Poland telling the whole family that he's sleeping with a british girl on the side without a proper mariage.

If he was so conservative as I think it would explain why he would pull up his sister trausers (which i don't think is disgusting). He might not be perfectly happy that his little sis is running around with her trousers low and showing her body - some conservative men can be control freaks.

and to be honest if you're having trust issues over things like that and can't even talk with him about it then it's obvious you are not ment for your selves or maybe you are a bit jelous that he might care about his little sis.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #7
i am a British girl and i go out with a Polish guy, he is sweet and everything but really has quite a temper on him. he loves me and everything, but his sister came to stay an he has 2 double beds and 1 single bed, he chooses to sleep in the same bed with his sister.

To be honest darling it sounds like you have a problem there, A guy sleeping whth somebody he calls his sister, or that could be a friend or girlfriend.

Either way it dosen't look good for you. If he is sleeping with her then your looking at a serious case of 'inbred' loving, which is not healthy for anybody. Of course on the other hand you have option 2, he is lying to you and she is actually his girlfriend from Poland.

It sounds to me like you have one option, LEAVE HIM, no matter what you think you feel for him or what you think he feels for you. There can only be tears shed at the end of this, at least this way you have control of those tears. Better sooner than later.

There are plenty more guys out there who will treat you with a lot more respect and better than this guy seems to. You've never met me, you don't know my name, i know nothing about you. You know what they say, the best view is the one of those who are not involved in anyway possible.

If i have got something about the situation wrong then i'm sorry but it seems to me the only way your relationship is giong and thats in the same direction as the titanic, DOWN so get out while you still can and make the pain easier than it will be later.

Sorry for my very forward view and advice, its just the way i work, I hope things work out for you in the future, all the best to a fellow Brit.

T
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #8
no, what i meant is, it could be false and when i ask him, he will think its sick and leave me. what im aying is say if i was wrong. i just want opinions on how to deal with the situation.

i cant keep wondering what there doing everytime she comes around. lifes too short
polishgirltx  
5 Sep 2007 /  #9
I wouldnt be sleeping with my brother like that...

But i think they are close, of course, they are brother and sister!
my brother came to visit me a few days ago, and i want to spend every minute with him because i missed him... we havent seen each other 2 years....

I think you are a bit jelaous... maybe because he doesnt pay you as much attention as before his sister came to a picture....
I don't thing you should worry at all...
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #10
maybe Ronek is right? do you live with him or stayed with him whilst she was there? when you visited his family did you sleep together then?
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #11
could be a friend or girlfriend.

it is his sister, ive been poland and een photo graphs and his parents know about me, theye have met me and love me.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #12
leave me

that may be the best option even though you don't think it now!!!

i cant keep wondering

this means you don't trust him, trust is one of the fundamental parts to a relationships, if you haven't got trust what have you got??

lifes too short

which is exactly why you should leave him NOW
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #13
when you visited his family did you sleep together then?

yes i did. and when she was here, when i stayed, he slept with me. and he is not a full on catholic. but i didnt know that thats how catholic upbringing is like.
polishgirltx  
5 Sep 2007 /  #14
i just want opinions on how to deal with the situation.

just ask him... if you love each other it shouldnt be a problem....communication...
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #15
woah.. Tornado you are being a bit hasty.. I think she should first establish the facts as it could be entirely innocent.. then she would have ditched her bf for no reason. Trust can take time to establish and maybe they havent been together that long. Just saying leave him is not constructive advice.
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #16
if you haven't got trust what have you got??

thats why i ant to ask him.

but how and in what way.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #17
communication...

another fundamental part of a relationship, which obviously is a problem too!!! without this and trust there is nothing to base a relationship on
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #18
been together that long

nearly 9 months
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #19
but how and in what way.

ask him face to face and exactly what you want to ask??

Why do you sleep with your sister?? &
Do you have sex with her??

woah.. Tornado you are being a bit hasty.. I think she should first establish the facts as it could be entirely innocent.. then she would have ditched her bf for no reason. Trust can take time to establish and maybe they havent been together that long. Just saying leave him is not constructive advice.

i understand what your saying, however if you haven't got trust or communication then its a very very very bad base for a relationship, don't you agree??
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #20
i disagree with you tornado.. ideally it is good to have those things, but you are takinga simplistic view.. I have had problems with both of those in my relationship, but still we love each other and have been together for more than 2 years... remember all relationships are different and there is no blueprint for what works and what doesnt.
polishgirltx  
5 Sep 2007 /  #21
another fundamental part of a relationship, which obviously is a problem too!!! without this and trust there is nothing to base a relationship on

exactly, if you guys cant talk to each other what bothers you and you have problem with trust... there is a problem...
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #22
doeasnt h know what it looks like looks weird? is it some catholic polish thing then. i have tried to talk, but one thing he is is stubborn.
polishgirltx  
5 Sep 2007 /  #23
I have had problems with both of those in my relationship

i dont understand how you can still make it
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #24
blueprint for what works and what doesnt.

correct, i totally agree, this seems rather obvious to me that the only thing needed is for the questions to be asked or one of those 'talks' if he is telling the truth then fine.

The questions need to be asked directly and without warning so then there is no time for a lie, people cannot hide the truth if they have no time to react. The more direct you are the more likely you are to finding the truth, its what i found when one of my ex-gf's was cheating with my best mate, i just asked her straight out eye to eye and she had not time to lie!!. Simplistic you call it, i call it getting to the truth :)
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #25
he is a conservative catholic and it was better for him to sleep in the bed with his sister then share the bed with you

20 yrs and 17 yrs. i mean c'mon now.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
5 Sep 2007 /  #26
is it some catholic polish thing then

nothing to do with religion, if he tells you otherwise its total bull :)

what bothers you and you have problem with trust... there is a problem...

exactly my point, simplistic but true :)
OP wondering  
5 Sep 2007 /  #27
just asked her straight out eye to eye and she had not time to lie!!.

how did you know she was lying? give me tips for catching him out

i have a trust issue, when his sister started taking up all his time and sleeping in the same bed.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
5 Sep 2007 /  #28
well my communication issues were down to language barriers and in this case its not easy to just confront someone as things can easily be misunderstood. I dont know if this is the case here, but thats my experience. I wont say it was easy, but we managed to overcome them and are happy together.
polishgirltx  
5 Sep 2007 /  #29
Wondering, if you'd have a good communication, and if you'd talk in your relationship about everything (it's VERY IMPORTANT) and not only you, he also, you wouldnt be asking those stuff here.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
5 Sep 2007 /  #30
i cant keep wondering what there doing everytime she comes around.

How many times has this happened ?

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