what is reasonable - he does not want me to go back to poland

Angel, I think you just got yourself into a very toxic relationship, and it's pretty difficult for you to get out, not even because of love you feel for him (people do break up often, even if there's love, for other serious reasons), but because of the sick dependency you got yourself in. He knows how to push your buttons, and maybe you don't realize clearly now that no woman (sane one that is) would voluntarily agree on having a relationship of this kind.. You just keep focusing on thinking that you don't want to be without him, or that you won't be able to take it.

However, believe me, you will, and you'll be much better off without him, with time, when the pain goes away. It's easy to say, but I think if you hear it often, from many sources, it finally starts sounding reasonable.. :)

What is it with those Poles that they just can't say "no" or "no, I don't love you"? Why are they always so bloody polite? I dated a few Polish girlies in the past and all of them, literally all of them, never had the gut to tell me that they did not want to see me anymore. Instead they just stopped answering the phone or stopped replying to texts. I have no problem with ppl telling me no directly, but I do have a problem with not answering the phone or not replying to texts, because that is just childish behaviour and very frustrating. If you don't want to see someone anymore, just TELL it to him or her, at least that's what I would do and usually do. It may be hard, but at least it's fair and mature.

M-G

Edit: not answering anymore can also lead to confusion: does he/she has no credit anymore? Is he/she busy? As a consequence you send another text or call him/her a few days later with the risk that he/she is starting to see you as a pest hence giving you a bad name, which would have been avoided if he/she just would've said no.

i know i am depending on a dream-when we were together i had no question of how i felt-but this time apart and him not hurrying to see me- i am scared of loosing what i thought would be worthy of pursuing- but what will i be loosing-he is not here and i am doing all the effort-because i am scared i know the way he is treating me is wrong -but i need to hear from him he does not want to see me -but he wont say this- so i still hang on why does he not say no?

I hope you have a nice time in Poland......and i hope you find him before you find me.......see..all questins get answered on this forum.....

ouch :)

M-G

Well , she had a go at me because i bought some girl flowers...and here she is confessing love for this Polish guy.....Perhaps i should mention that Angel is visiting me when she comes to Poland...and we have had a lot of contact by phone and email.....

It sounded different - especially before your explanation.

M-G

i dont understand why Angel is still coming here for advice about her troubled relationship its quite clear that the guy is a complete prat who is using her for whatever reasons...no doubt she'll be back on here in a couple of weeks with another update after she has text him for the 1,000,000th time and he still hasn't responded..sorry to sound horrid but relationships are about reciprocation and it does seem a little one sided here..

halo everyone -i finally have an answer to his behaviour!!

he has a polish girlfriend-for some years now-everyone wants them to get married-all his family like her-and her family like him-he likes her but does not love her- he has a son with her-he does like me a lot and he thought he could see me in england- but he had some committments in poland but now he doesnt know if work is available for him any more in england . he has told his family that he has a good friend in me in england but he has not told them my age and that i have children-he says they would not understand- i told him we will be friends for now and not to worry and that he has to decide what he is to do-must be difficult for him-he says he may be able to meet me if i go to poland but it will not be easy. i feel for him in his situation

Sorry, but as harsh as this may sound.... don't feel anything for him. Just walk away from the messy situation.... don't fool yourself. He is having his cake and eating it, if you see what I mean.

Give yourself time, and wait for a guy who really deserves you.

angel....seriously....i don't know what are you doing with that guy...still!! you take everything he does or says and it's not a good way for you ...

there is nothing more of him and my advice is: forget him...

hi guys i gave him a piece of my mind!!! told him he was selfish, a liar -to himself and everybody that he should stand up for what he wants-whatever that is and that enough was enough! he said please could we be friends- he had now told his family-after several conversations and texts from him- i agreed to be friends but there would be no romantic involvement- he invited me to visit him when i go to poland-i said id think about it- but i would not tolerate any more lies

is he married?

I just get the impression that he is not honest with you.

Well done Angel, at least you know where you stand now. Would you want to visit him in Poland though? Has he told you the truth about his family and who he is involved with? I would find it hard to see him there in Poland if it was me, but you can move on now and find some-one who can take your relationship seriously and show you his love.

DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR Q HON? :d

dont care any more-if he is and i decide to visit him when i am in poland-then if he is guess he has a lot of explaining to do to his misses-about his english friend!


yep i can move on-god knows what the truth is-on his part-but i know i have been truthful-curiousty may take the better of me and i may visit him-i have nothing to loose.


he says he doesnt want to get married-but maybe he does and was having a final fling in england-if id known the truth to begin with i wouldnt have got involved with him.

anyway looking forward to my trip to the tri-city next week just booked my hotel!

enjoy, have fun and good luck:)

I feel that you are clinging on to some thin strand of hope, let it go and cut him off, he has played you for a fool...and most of all he has lied...for me I would just consider him dead had he lied to me about such serious things (a girlfriend). He also contiues to lie to you, family pressure...I dont think so, No work in the UK..hmmm I dont think so.

I am sorry it didnt have a happy ending and good luck in finding love from a real man ;-)

I was going to say "except self-respect and dignity", but it seems you haven't had any of that to lose since being involved with this guy.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but why would you even consider seeing him again.....sweet words mean nothing; sweet and considerate actions do......you should take a friend with you to Poland and forget all about this guy......he's lived too long in your head rent-free....it's time to evict him!

He doesn't have to explain anything. He will probably slam the door in your face.
If his 'girlfriend' answers the door, he will stand by her. He will lose face in front of his family otherwise.
If you make an appointment to meet him. He probably won't turn up. If he does, he'll be full of shite.

Most of us have told you exactly what would happen. And for the most part we were right.
Why do you continue to make life difficult for yourself ?
We understand your plight and want the best for you. Please, understand this and forget him.

yes you are right

i will not turn up on his doorstep.

i do appreciate all the concern everyone has shown to me on this forum and i have listened to what you have said

i am going to poland with my sisters-they will make sure i dont do anything stupid oh and hopefully i might meet up with wildrover

Good luck and enjoy Poland.

Good for you......you'll love the Tri-Cities......have fun!

I have heard he is a bit dodgy too.......watch yourself girl.....

hi wildrover of course your dodgy-