I would insist on meeting his family before you let this go on any further. He is not treating you with the respect you deserve. He is a grown man, not a boy! Tell him to stop acting like one. Don't waste your life waiting for someone who is not willing to go out of his way for you.
Honey, not everyone wants to meet the "inlaws" - like you pointed out he is a grown man, maybe he prefers not to parade his girlfriends in front on mummy and daddy for inspection.
I would insist that he takes you to meet his family and his friends so you know exactly what kind of person you are putting your love/energy/dreams and future in to.
You can't always judge a man by his family, trust me I know this.
From what I have read you seems to have such low expectations from what you should be getting from this relationship. (i.e not living together, not meeting his family, keeping you and his other life seperate....) Just because you are an independent woman doesn't mean to say you shouldn't be allowed these things. I wonder if your previous relationships/marriage breakup has left you feeling like you don't deserve someones 100% commitment.?
We are all different...what you might find strange it is perfectly normal to another.
We don't know the ins and outs of this ladys situation so I think it's pretty unfair to judge him or her.
She sounds like she is aware of most things and I'm sure she will make her own mind up as to how she deals with it.