kasqures 1 | 7 17 Jul 2009 / #1Hi Guys,I wanted to share my sad story which for me is nothing less than the worst nightmare and the most painful time in my life. About two years ago I started chatting with a Polish girl. She seemed to be different than others and she had moral values and was beautiful and intelligent and it didn't take long for me to fall in love. As our relationship grew I found out more and more about her and loved he more and more. Her ideas, the way she thought, they way she wanted her life would be was all perfect and I couldn't have been a happier guy to find true love. I am one woman kind of guy and comes from family that has ethical morals and I committed my entire life for her. I loved her more than anything and would do anything for her and she promised and loved me the same way (so I thought). I am a Muslim and she is devoted Christian and God fearing person and we had good understanding of everything and we even went to the extent of having where we would get married, how and where we would live and what will be the names of our kids.I couldn't have asked for a better person to be with. She told me that she would wait till the eternity for me. The problem was that I come from Pakistan and as the stereotype is that all Pakistanis are lunatics and freaks which is absolutely wrong. But that meant I had to apply for visa to go there and meet her. I tried a couple of times but every time I was restricted to go for one reason or another. I work in a company where I travel a lot and my job changes so I work in different countries as well. But that did not deter my effort of being with her and she knew every thing and she was with me all the time and kept on telling me that there will be next time and we will be together forever and God knows I believed her, believed in out love and that is meant to happen. Things started changing in the past 5 months. She went to Brussels for an internship program from University for three months. I was in constant contact with her. everyday I used to ring her up ask how things are going and how is she finding.When she returned home, for the first three weeks she was different. She told me Brussels is a nice place and she would like live there and work in the future which I believed was good because I could move there in the future with her would not be a problem. Then after three weeks , she was like the usual self. We talked like everyday and she would tell me that she loves me more than anyone. I had already told my parents about everything and her parents knew of me and seemed like everything is perfect. In these two years I was always honest, never broke any promises , never lied , never even looked at any girl because I didn't need to because I thought of her as my wife and it would considered cheating even if I look at any and I was pretty sure that she did the same thing until the reality dawned on me.As I said, she was her normal self and our life was perfect again. Then she had papers and after that was holidays. I planned my summer vacation to spend with her. I asked my manager to allow the vacations in a very hectic schedule where he could let no one off but he understood what I was going through and that I desperately wanted to meet her. I got the vacations approved. She told me that she would come anywhere in Europe to meet me. Being rejected by Poland twice I thought I would apply for Germany or for Greece or for England and it would be easy for her to travel. After the papers she decided to go to holiday with her best friend to Brussels again to spend two weeks there which I thought was cool because she could not stay in Lublin for entire vacation. I applied for the Polish visa again in the meantime.She went there telling me that this summer we will be together and she is extremely happy that I would be coming there and finally meeting her. She went to Brussels and things were a bit confusing. She sent me sms not on daily basis as she used to and the sms was strange that she loves me but she is sorry for herself which I had no idea what she was saying. I called her everyday as I used to when she was there the first time and she would talk to me for only 5 min and telling me that she has to go out and that she is walking and of course at the end would tell me she loves me. Those three words were enough for me that she loves me and I loved her more than my life. In the meantime I got the visa for Poland. I got the tickets booked hotel confirmed and waiting for her to return so that I could giver her a surprise. I bought an engagement ring and I was going to propose to her. These days were happiest of my life until the night I received a call. At 4 in the morning I got a call and I saw the number was from Belgium and I thought something bad happened why he is calling me so late and I was scared that something happened to her. The call was from a guy. He said that he is his boyfriend and they have been seeing each other for 5 months and he found out just now that you are also his boyfriend. First of all I was surprised and perplexed and I thought he was joking or playing a prank on me.I told him to **** off because I don't believe that single word he said but he knew everything. He told me about her friend and where they are staying and that she is living with her and she came to Brussels to spend holidays with her and they are living as couple. I was shocked which is a small word at this time because I can't explain my emotions of what went in my mind at that time. I closed the phone and called her and I asked about this guy and that was all true. I could not believe my ears of what I was hearing. It seemed that world has fallen apart and there is big hole in ground and I am buried in it 30 feet down. My heart stopped beating, my dreams, my love all gone in one second. She told me that she is only friend with her and still she told me that she loves me and she is all mine. After that I got again the call from this guy and he said why did I talk to her and now she is upset because she told him not to call me and tell me anything. I did not know how to react. I called her again and asked her and this time she said she is sorry and she was hiding things from me. I told her I got the visa and I was coming to see her but that was too late. She said come to Poland to meet me as her friend....as her friend... and that she would do anything for me when I come over there and she would explain me everything whe she returns to Poland. I was dead.Death would have been easy because then you are relieved of emotions. The next day the same guy called me and told me that he is with her and she wants to talk to me. She told me that her friend has gone back and she is staying with this guy for another 4 days before she returns to Poland. I asked her a simple question that does she love me and she said I love both the guys and she wants to spend her life with him and not me. That was the sentence which was enough for me. You know when you are shot at ..got driven by car... this was worse it felt like death. His new boyfriend told me than she is living with her and they are couples and all that. My life is ruined. My dreams are shattered.. The Belief in love is all gone..I loved her like crazy and I can't think of anyone else in my life besides her. I would never be able to move on and I can't love anyone else. She said she is sorry for everything.That is it... She is sorry... What is sorry fellows ? You destroy a man's life ...you destroy everything he believed in ...EVERYTHING and just plain Sorry .... Why did I suffer this ? What did I do wrong ? This story is not too old my friends ..it happened a week ago.. Ever since I have got that call I have not slept. Every time I close my eyes I can picture her kissing someone else and right now sleeping with this guy and that sentence that she wants to be with her just doesn't allow me to sleep. Tears are like of unlimited supply here every time I think about it tears just come out and it is so painful. I can't concentrate on work ... I sit around for hours alone and wondering where did I go wrong .. Was my love not strong enough .. How can someone come between us ? how can she do that to me ??? I tried taking medicine and ended up in a hospital .. I couldn't even kill myself.. Was this because I was honest ? I loved her ?.. and I am suffering because I was a moron and not knowing that there is nothing as love in this world..... The sad thing is that I want to hate her for everything she did to me but I can't .. I can't her as well .. I still love her....I wanted to share my story because I have no one to tell and it is eating me inside. I never have been to Poland and never will. I pray that she is happy wherever she lives. For me ..there is no light at the end of tunnel and I can't move on ... thanks for reading.