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5 months with my polish girlfriend now she's pregnant !


JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #1
I met my current girlfriend 5 months ago she had only been in england 2 weeks, I have a huge amount of polish friends around me, so she felt like home ( kind of ). we get along great, we visited poland and got back 3 weeks ago , We then discovered she is pregnant, we are both really happy about it, But she is scared because she's not in her country and scared of not understanding the doctors, plus not having the support from her mother on hand, she has become quite hormonial and has major mood swings, any one have a baby in the uk who's from poland or any advice ????
Polson 5 | 1,767  
21 Dec 2007 /  #2
I think it's normal that she's scared. Does she speak English ? I guess so, at least a little...If she is really scared, maybe she should see a doctor or a counsellor, someone who can give her advice and reassure her (you could go with her, don't let her alone...)

By the way, congratulations, i wish you the best :)
krysia 23 | 3,058  
21 Dec 2007 /  #3
Yeah, having a baby turns your life around. You're gonna have this cool little person to live for and teach all the stuff you know. It can be scary, so like polson said, be there for her.

You're not her mother or anything, but you'll do.
Congratulations!
ukpolska  
21 Dec 2007 /  #4
JayBee, we were in the same situation 7 years ago and my girlfriend at the time couldn't be without her family.
So we decided to move to Poland and really we haven't looked back since as she had tremendous support here and I found a wonderful life here as well.

I don't know if you have considered it, but maybe a move to Poland would help in this situation and then in the future when things are settled down you can consider moving back to the UK.

Just a thought!!

Either way she will need a lot of supporting in this time and you seem a caring guy trying to find the best solution by coming here and asking for advice; sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the one's we love :O)
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #5
Thanks guys! Yeah she speaks basic english, but "we" communicate without much problems, there have been a few minor hitches along the way with the language barrier, hihihihi, Yeah i'm giving my all and reasurance ( sorry bad speller ) she speaks with her mum and family on gg and klasza everyday so she does have contact, I would love to move to poland but gotta earn the money here , so wont be for a while , we have planed to visit at least once before the baby is born , and then on a regular basis as it's cheap and only 2 hrs approx, gonna really treat her to a traditional xmas and try and make great, and traditaniol polish xmas on 24th with my polish mountain friends,
lonely 2 | 97  
21 Dec 2007 /  #6
Congratulations from me too on your wonderful news.

Be there for her all the way and keep working your relationship with her... always remember what brought you together and you will both be fine.

And if it's a little boy name him after me (no not lonely) Thomas :o)
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #7
Cheers lonely ! will think about the name, We spoke a little about names , dont want to get to excited before the scan, We did say if its a boy then we would have english first name and a polish second , and if it's a girl the reverse,
lonely 2 | 97  
21 Dec 2007 /  #8
We did say if its a boy then we would have english first name and a polish second , and if it's a girl the reverse,

That sounds pretty cool... i will keep that in mind myself.

My 1st marriage broke down because we forgot about each other when we had kids so we grew apart. I won't make that mistake again and my advice to you is learn from my mistakes.

I am maybe getting a little away from the point of your posting but I wanted to help you the only way I can.

Good luck to you both and I hope you have many happy years together.
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #9
Thanks again lonley ! i dont take your words lightley and will learn by them as all ready it has put a strain on us, with her having to give up vodka and and cigs and errrrr most things that are indulgent and fun, and mood swings, and me feeling slightly useless and beyond my male control of understanding what she must be going through!! but were strong like rum so we will get through hihihi
lonely 2 | 97  
21 Dec 2007 /  #10
but were strong like rum so we will get through

make her feel special and keep talking... don't bottle anything up.

Seemingly unimportant little problems ignored now can turn into huge festering relationship breaking problems.

I can't stress this strongly enough because i don't want you going through what i have been through.

Look after her and love her always dude.
Wroclaw Boy  
21 Dec 2007 /  #11
but maybe a move to Poland would help in this situation and then in the future when things are settled down you can consider moving back to the UK.

If you come to poland to have the baby you will need to fork out for the medical expenses from your own pocket. Then ofcourse the child will have Polish nationaility not to mention no child support etc.. Nightmare

hormonial and has major mood swings

Yes, i was there once she was extremely difficult. You gotta take it on the chin mate and keep smiling.

Best of luck.
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #12
Cheers guys it's the first bit of support i ve recived since we found out , apprecited !! It's all about the girl !! but we got feelings 2 lol ! hihihih thanks
ukpolska  
21 Dec 2007 /  #13
If you come to poland to have the baby you will need to fork out for the medical expenses from your own pocket. Then ofcourse the child will have Polish nationaility not to mention no child support etc.. Nightmare

True, but it depends on what you want in life and what is more important for your wife, I am not saying that this is the best way, but if she misses her family so much then maybe it's a consideration, that's all I was saying. :O)

Medical expenses will be covered as she is a Polish national, and anyway I would break off my right arm and sell it if it got my wife medical care, but it was not necessary.

My daughter has duel nationality; Polish first and British second, no problem there.
:O)
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #14
Yeah i'd do the same too, Her mum really wants to be involved, which of course is essential and standard, So i'm flying her mum and sister over in the new year, My girl is wanting me to be there every step of the way and understands that we need to be here so i can work as hard as i can , so i can prep the nest , i also think the more she attends to the midwife she wont be as scared about the language barrier, after all england probably is one of the most multi cultural countrys in the world and our doctors are probably sooooo used to breaking down english for those who dont understand to well,
ukpolska  
21 Dec 2007 /  #15
the world and our doctors are probably sooooo used to breaking down english for those who dont understand to well,

yeah, she might speak better English than they do lol

Jesus, did I really say that :O)
OP JayBee 1 | 12  
21 Dec 2007 /  #16
yeah, she might speak better English than they do lol

true true true hihihihihihihi
DarrenM 1 | 77  
21 Dec 2007 /  #17
JayBee

My girlfriend is pregnant (6 months) and has faced exactly the same worries/concerns. I am English so i guess she has a slight advantage in that i have been with her to every visit to the Hospital and Midwife. However, i work away a lot as i am an IT contractor and naturally her concern is i will be away when she goes into Labour.

Right now friend, her head will be all over the place. Hormones, mood swings, discomfort, restless. She wont know whether she is coming or going and besides the usual "Is my baby OK" and "How will i know how to look after him" worries you have the added worry of the language.

Sadly my Girls mother passed away this time last year and so as far as help goes and family support im all she's got.

All compound to make the whole experience a nerve wracking, roller coaster ride.

What can i say except be there for her, talk to her, allay any fears she may have. Phone the doctor, midwife, look up on the internet together, get the answers she needs and talk it through. I know it is easy to say but she has nothing to worry about.

If i can make one suggestion, we went over to Poland for a 4D scan. Man, it was amazing, i saw my sons profile before he is even born!!!!

Its costs £200 here in the UK. It cost us 200 zl in Warsaw.

Anyway, Take Good Care of her and I wish you all the Luck in the world.

Darren, Monika i Tomasz (Soon!!)
kotek808 1 | 4  
21 Dec 2007 /  #18
mood swings what mood swings? I'm pg and I've not noticed any mood swings...............j/k
ukpolska  
22 Dec 2007 /  #19
Shouldn't that be "mood swings what fecking mood swings? I'm pg and I've not noticed any fecking mood swings, now feck off and die" lol :O)
superjay - | 47  
22 Dec 2007 /  #20
Shouldn't that be "mood swings what fecking mood swings?

nice one ukpolska! i was thinking..."darling i could just stab you when you accuse me of mood swings, honestly honey"
eddiewop - | 16  
9 Mar 2008 /  #21
My problem is that although my Polish girlfriend fell pregant, it must have been the cider on New Year's Eve, she is married ( separated) with a young son in Poland.

Having our child would have caused so many problems, here and in her village, as tongues would wag, and her husband would try to take son form her. Also I am 57 and she is only 27.

Reluctantly, she had an abortion, which I could see was correct solution ast time, BUT, I love her , and would wish to marry her, IF I could .

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