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Why are polish men so damned complicated?


cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #1
Hi can anyone help me out here? I have been dating a polish guy since december. Everyday we speak and text, and even tell each other how much we love one another.

This morning all has changed!!! He text me last night to say he was having sex with a polish woman - just sex!! I freaked out and now he's says it's over. Am I being unreasonable, and is this acceptable relationship behaviour in poland? or have I just met a player?
glaswegians  
24 Mar 2009 /  #2
Cable, have you ever heard of dignity ?
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #3
Of course!! I'm just completely baffled, as this is not the sort of behaviour I've ever come across before. I thought this guy was a true gent, and just wondered if I was missing some sort of cultural difference?
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #4
he was having sex with a polish woman - just sex!! I freaked out

Allow me to put this in perspective. Years ago I dated a women who told me that sex was "just not that important'. I continued to date her but also had an affair with another woman. When the first woman found out that 'we had sex' she also "freaked out". I reminded her (of) what she said that sex wasn't so important. I then asked her if that's the case why was she so upset? This stymied her.

By the way, I was honest with both women in that I told the second woman that I was dating the first one asexually. Hope this helps.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #5
It kind of helps. We are having a sexual relationship, but his take was that last night was not 'love' or 'gentle', just sex!! I am really confused. Can a line really be drawn between the two?
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #6
Can a line really be drawn between the two?

With men, YES. With women, sometimes.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #7
I really like this guy but am not so sure about what to do. My reaction may already mean it's over. Any advice as to how to proceed? My polish is terrible and I have no idea how to say that in future I do not want to hear about his other women. I guess what I dont know cant hurt me......:-(
Bzibzioh  
24 Mar 2009 /  #8
Any advice as to how to proceed?

You were not THE ONE. Something was missing in translation. Move on.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #9
Yep, i think that's probably sound advice. Thanks for you honesty. K
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #10
Tell him you care for him and that it 'hurts' you to know he is spending time with someone else. It's interesting that he texted you to let you know about the non emotional sex he was having. He should have told you personally. This may be a sign that he is breaking up with you.

Have a sit-down talk with him and tell him that you want a one-on-one relationship. If he goes for it then fine. If he hedges then you know where you stand with him.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #11
Thanks for you diplomacy zimmy. His english is not good enough really to have such an in depth chat. I think I know what I must do.
pgtx 30 | 3,158  
24 Mar 2009 /  #12
I was missing some sort of cultural difference?

no, it's not a Polish tradition or culture to sleep around while being in a relationship...lol... you just met a player and you'll be better off without him :)
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #13
Maybe you're right!! I know texting only complicates things more especially when he texts in polish, and my polish is far from perfect. i can only understand some of his texts and get 1/2 a story. It's been really good to get feed back on this matter, and I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with him being polish.
pgtx 30 | 3,158  
24 Mar 2009 /  #14
and I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with him being polish.

yeah... if you want to hear his side of the story, you'd meet face to face and forget texting... but he cheated already, could you trust him again?

and yes, the language barrier and miscommunication may screw things up badly sometimes...
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #15
Probably not. It's just come as a real shocker!! Yesterday he was all over me, and today it's like a different guy. Bizarre!!!! The real pisser is he works for my Father, so I've got to see him at work everyday, and maintain my professionalism - roll on 5 o clock!!! I can't exactly tell my father he text me last night daddy while he was shagging some other polish bird can I - lol....I wouldn't risk his job.

Thanks sokrates - you really made me giggle for the first time today. I didn't realise how absurd my last post sounded!! what I meant was that i'm not a vindictive cow, and will not mix business with pleasure if that makes better sense.
pgtx 30 | 3,158  
24 Mar 2009 /  #16
will not mix business with pleasure if that makes better sense.

but you did already :)
just talk to him and you'll see what will happen...
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
24 Mar 2009 /  #17
vindictive cow

Being a vindictive cow is absolutely satysfying and i never saw anything wrong with a bit of revenge, what i'm saying is make sure he deserves it:)
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
24 Mar 2009 /  #18
Have a sit-down talk with him and tell him that you want a one-on-one relationship. If he goes for it then fine. If he hedges then you know where you stand with him.

Disregard this advice, dump his rotten arse, it's quite obvious the twat has no respect for you whatsoever.
Paula - | 11  
24 Mar 2009 /  #19
Probably not. It's just come as a real shocker!! Yesterday he was all over me, and today it's like a different guy. Bizarre!!!! The real pisser is he works for my Father, so I've got to see him at work everyday

Sokrates is right, besides your language barrierss you should ask him and talk to him personaly otherwise you will never now. At least you will try and you clear it up beetwen you and your boyfriend.

But I have to say that he is a player.anyhow. and I can asure You that not everyman in Poland is like him. He is like a black sheep.:D

I cross fingers for you.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
24 Mar 2009 /  #20
Hang on a minute, this guy texts her to tell her that he's been banging some other bird and you're suggesting she has a warm fuzzy chat with the fuckwit????

Can I suggest you biatch slap him so he doesn't go to some forum asking "Are all English girls really really stuipd and desparate" "Hey guys guess what I did....blah blah blah blah!!!"
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
24 Mar 2009 /  #21
Hang on a minute, this guy texts her to tell her that he's been banging some other bird and you're suggesting she has a warm fuzzy chat with the fuckwit????

Correct, we've established he's stupid but he might just have been stupid and drunk for example, or a practical joke or some other unlikely but possible reason.

Can I suggest you biatch slap him

After she has a chat with him, i've seen some pretty crazy mistakes done thanks to the fact that some particulary dumb bugger decided to make a practical joke via text message.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #22
You guys will never believe this........................... I have just managed to sit and talk to my guy, and he now tells me that it was all a joke - how bloody sick is that??? He didn't like the way I interact with one of the other guys at work and thought I was messing him around, so he made out he was having sex!!

He now tells me he loves only me, but I am mad as hell!!! I just wish I didn't have such strong feelings for him.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #23
Can I suggest you biatch slap him

Shelley is a proponent of female domestic violence so I wouldn't listen to her anti-male rantings.

If you 'feel' there is a 10 percent chance of getting together (it seems that you still care for him) than give it a shot; what's to lose. Maybe, just maybe it was just one of those bonehead things he did. If he is a player than lose him. Nothing wrong with a discussion; it's called communicating.
pgtx 30 | 3,158  
24 Mar 2009 /  #24
he now tells me that it was all a joke - how bloody sick is that??? He didn't like the way I interact with one of the other guys at work and thought I was messing him around, so he made out he was having sex!!

what a dumb ass...
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #25
I have just managed to sit and talk to my guy, and he now tells me that it was all a joke

Ok, so he is still immature but sorry about it. See, my advice still stands; talking it out is the first thing people should do - to get all the facts.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #26
Thanks for your wise words Zimmy, it's just a shame he's immature at 37!!!
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
24 Mar 2009 /  #27
Thanks for your wise words Zimmy

That's why I get paid the big bucks :)
Paula - | 11  
24 Mar 2009 /  #28
He now tells me he loves only me, but I am mad as hell!!! I just wish I didn't have such strong feelings for him.

immature..:(
and 37 year old guy is acting like a 18 year old kid. Cable don't waste your time on him.
OP cable 3 | 42  
24 Mar 2009 /  #29
please guys don't argue - i am very grateful for all of your replies. :-)
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
24 Mar 2009 /  #30
Practical joke?? yeah it was really funny ;0) The joke I'd say next is "go fuck yourself"

Oh come on Shelly i dont believe you'd be that ruthless, of course dating such a braindead (who's 37 for fudge sake!) implies the girl has as much survival instinct as a lemming sprinting towards a cliff but you dont discuss tastes i guess.

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