if i was to start at the beginning of the storey no one would believe the pain caused by a man i loved so much. buisness trip july left me with a letter a few weeks later saying he wanted to have some time on his own. told me he was coming back home then rang me from the airport xmas eve and told me hed got a polish woman pregnent and had worked his notice at work and was going tolive and work in poland! new years eve rang me from poland and told me he was coming home and that he had managed to get his old job back. the divorce was still happening but he refused to sign the adultry papers. this week at last he said he as signed the papers. and only 2 days ago told me she was moving here. when he promised me that would never happen. how imagine does that make me feel will i be looking over my shoulder knowing i could bump into them everydy. if hed beeen a man with respect he would not of even mentioned she was pregnant, and that she was coming here. he is a coward and no relation to a man husband or father
Jackson....you are giving this man and that woman too much power over your feelings and your life. Don't give him or her the satisfaction. Do as Amathyst says and concentrate on yourself...surround yourself with friends......i totally believe in karmic retribution (what goes around comes around). Your husband will get what is coming to him without you having to have a hand in it, and risking your own karmic retribution...be a better person than he is....I know you are hurting now, and your feelings are valid....just don't act on your feelings.....decisions are better made when you have a clear head. Good luck to you.:)
Im not sure if you have ever had a long term relationship that has ended on good terms, people still meet for drinks and get on,
I have actually... but when a relationship starts with cheating it's bound to end with cheating. I have plenty of 1st hand knowledge on that too. She went in knowning he was married and he divorced for her so I can understand her fear. I agree she's made her bed and now she should lie in it. On the otherhand he's left enough destruction why create more? He pretends to feel concern but after all he's put these 2 women through, I think he's more concerned about himself coming out smelling like roses.
thank you ranj, i know that its hard. but very raw at moment, i still love him so much. and thats why i still feel this way. i know one day he will end up very sad and realise the two beautiful people he chose toleave. ur words have been took to heart
and thank youagain amathyst, its sometimes help even msg people that dont know you. i know one day i will smile and put my best foot forward again. x
if hed beeen a man with respect he would not of even mentioned she was pregnant, and that she was coming here. he is a coward and no relation to a man husband or father
I think if he had to tell you. Think how you would have felt if you bumped into them one day without knowing it could happen and saw that she was pregnant. Wouldnt you feel worse? The pain and suprise would be clearly visible to them and later you would feel worse that you had shown them this. At least now you have a chance to attempt to put on a brave face if you should ever bump into them,
her baby i think by what my husband as breifly told me is due in june. i dont think she will be moving here before the baby is born. i still think he only had to stay away. and not bring the hurt her to me and my son. until its ever been forced upon you i dont think anyone knows how they would handle a situation like this. i do hate both of them for dooing what they have tome and my son we never deserved it. all ive ever been is a good mum and wife and homemaker. i have never hurt anyone in my life.
On the otherhand he's left enough destruction why create more?
He has and she was part of that, there is the word NO in the dictionary and please dont say "we cant help who we fall in love with" we are all free thinking and know the difference between right and wrong and dating married men is wrong.
come on. this guy went away on business and met a young lady. What do you think the chances are of him tell her that he is married are. You previously mentioned the Polish views on marriage and breaking them up. Unless maybe he is an honest guy and did tell her. However I thought everyone was saying that this man is a pile of crap and isnt truthfull so if that is true I think he didnt tell this girl;
Read my posts, U and you see that married men are not ashamed of saying that they are married so I personally think that he did tell the Polish girl. I think I have made it clear that I think that this man is a piece of dirt but that doesnt make him a liar, in fact he's been very up front with his wife about everything, phoning on xmas eve to let her know that he had got a woman pregnant and that their marriage was over - hmmm, explain that one to your son on xmas day over the christmas presents and turkey dinner :) This lady Im guessing is in her late 40is and has just had her life devastated and you seem to think its okay.
He will come crawling back with his tail between his legs eventually. they always do. It will make you stronger. my husband did something simular now i cant even look at him.But it took me a year to get through my feelings of love for him.
What goes around comes around and until that day comes surround yourself with friends and this ordeal will make you stronger. good luck for your new future:)
u seem to be very aware amathyst and you dont even know me. yes the xmas eve was the most difficult thing id ever had to cope with. especially because my son is the most precious thing in the world to me. im 44 years of age by the way and i had been with my husband since i was 18years old. a man i trusted with my life. the devastation he still chooses is one that i know i can never forgive him for. the only thing that keeps me going at this moment in time is the thought that he is also driven by mony. im just hoping i do get what i am entitled too. and i know that will hurt him most. he needs money at this moment in time to try and find somewhere for him and his mistress to live. the sad man is back at his mums... i do hope that anyone reading my posts realises that not everything in life goes the way you think. if i could turn the clocks back i would. but who knows the temptation would at sometime happened. i didnt know how evil he was and still is. if he can do to me and his son dont tell me he will be faithful again.
thank you audrey. i know im not alone. just right now i think i am. i know im a attractive lady, but at the moment i cant see tomorrow . ive had all my confidence knocked from me. its hard when u have only loved one man, he as broken my heart,
I think that without knowing all the daetails-it is very difficult to judge anybody. Maybe, the man in England was not very happy for a long time, maybe the son is now grown up. Often, when the children grow up there is nothing between husband and wife and they part. This is very common not only with Polish third parties. It is not clear if this same man is the father of this child to be in Poland. I do not see anything wrong with a man sending his ex a card maybe they still get on. Men have mid life crisis like women do and want to have another fling-I think that it is biology but women do it to men all the time too. I have known of couples in England who have been married for twenty five years plus who split for no apararent reason. The child is being born in Poland but it makes no difference to passport rights as my son has a British and a Polish passport though never visits Poland and was born in Guildford.
As for the faithfull thing I dont know, back at his mums lol...thats a bit norman bates :) not very impressive to the Polish woman :) Honey you just look after yourself and your son and figure out ways to keep yourself occupied at this terrible time, Im aware because Ive had very close friends go through similar stuff, they have given their lives to loving and bringing up their kids and looking after the home and having a career, nice holidays, nice homes and then bang, Im sorry luv but Ive met someone and I love her so Im off !!! Be very shrewd when it comes to dividing the money and make sure you dont get screwed over
The child is being born in Poland but it makes no difference to passport rights as my son has a British and a Polish passport though never visits Poland and was born in Guildford
It wasnt passport rights I was on about it was parental rights, if the child is born in Poland the mother will have more rights.
yes my x husband is the baby to be father and no we were very happily married. even whilst he was away on so called buisness in poland he rang me every hour or two. when he came home i knew he had done something wrong immediately. because we were so in love and so close. we had recently bought a new apartment and were so happy in our new home. this news then was not given to me until almost 6months later when he rang me from the airport told me this woman was pregnant and hr was going ther to live and work. it was the most cowardly way.
its hard when u have only loved one man, he as broken my heart,
I only loved one man. i was married 13 years. gave my life my heart ,my soul. have a 6 year old son who my husband turned his back on. and all this for other women and there has been many. i wated to end my life but now i see life at the end of the tunnel.
Life can go on without them but it just seems too hard for you at the moment. time will heal but i know you dont think so at the moment.... I dont think il ever love anyone like him again but im hoping i wiil and you will too. my heart goes out to you and your family but he will regret this
i can see you have a very caring and intelligent way of conveying your thoughts amathyst. i have tried so hard to fight back the tears whilst posting on here. i thought it may make me understand the polish way of thinking. although i dont know what that will do to help me. i have a wonderful family who have also suffered too. he as left so many lovely people behind who also loved him too. my son will not speak to him now and the only thing he gets is a txt msg once a week which my son dosnt even answer. is life too as been devastated by his fathers actions, and i think hes ashamed of what hes done. and also as watched the pain he as caused for me. im sure we both will at some point move forward. im waiting to hear from my solictor this coming week to see if he as signed the adultry papers, then the finances can then be sorted hopefully,
audrey i know. its hard to say how you feel when you love someone so deeply and you trust them so much to never hurt you who youve always depended on. i too hav felt like ending it all but my son keeps me going. hes lost one parent and im going to make sure i am there for him forever, and even after my husband as done what he as done to me although i hate him. inside theres this love that aches and longs for him to come home. i know that will never happen hes chosen the path he wants to walk down. i just hope it isnt on my doorstep and it will never impede on my life thank you again for your kind words.x
This lady Im guessing is in her late 40is and has just had her life devastated and you seem to think its okay.
I really cant remember saying anything like that. However i did try to explain that ruining the girls life and wishing death on the guy wouldnt help :) The only person i have really tried to defend is the girl. After all he is the one that has made a lifelong promise to someone else. If she knew then it is very bad what she has done , but at the same time one glance at a wedding ring should be enough to resist temptation.
The sad thing is Jackson, that you are not the only woman treated in such a manner. My mother was treated like a fool by my old man for years. The best thing that ever happened to her was divorcing the SOB, thats when her life really started again. She had been emotionally "on hold", for 20 years.
Life is Pain, that sadly is an unescapable fact, but it is how we cope and learn from our experiences that gives us depth of personality.
As they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
In time Jackson, I'm sure you will meet another man who will treat you as you deserve to be treated, until then you must concentrate on yourself and you kid.
i know giles its something i am only just starting to come to terms with. and im sure that one day the world will seem alot clearer. as ive said before its only early yet for me and my son but i know things will only get better. thank you
There is not a lot I can say to you Jackson51, other than that this is a desperately sad situation for you and your son. I have worked for extended periods throughout Central and Eastern Europe and I’ve seen first hand how some married men carry on when they are out there. There was always a small percentage of local women who were happy to oblige them. Note that I said a small percentage as most of them would never pursue a married man. My heart goes out to you. I hope things work out over time for you.
I would like to point out that women too can carry on behind a man's back. There are an amazing number of married couples in England with children and unknown to the man of the house, he is not the biological fther of one or more of his children. There is a HUGE number of such cases.
Well as horror stories go I know several, sadly. My brother-in-law in Poland has a friend who left his wife and two (beautiful) little girls, for a prostitue whom he met online!!! This guy, left his wife and kids whilst they were living with HIS mother and moved into a brothel with the working girl he met online. Needless to say within six months she left him. So now, he has been shunned by his own family, his wife's family and the hooker. So he's left running a brothel, he was also visited by former friends who were so outraged at his callous behaviour, they gave him a solid kicking. This guy managed to screw his existance up in under 12 months.
What the hell was going through his mind i don't know, the damage reeked on those close ones around him is incalculable. As for the hooker, well...damn it she's a hooker what else needs to be said.
Human being are very strange creatures.
A friend of mine at college, had his father run off with another man!!! I met his mother shortly after the affair and she wasn't coping well, being rejected for another woman is cruel, but to be reject for a man must be completely mind blowing (for a woman).
I was once told "all is fair in love and war". which means sadly anything goes.
What makes a man a man, is self-discipline, control of one's demons. I'm not a christian but controlling one's lustful urges are a must, as is respecting those around you.
I apologies for swearing Jackson51, but yourex-husband has been weak and foolish. Better not to have a weak and foolish man in your life. Better your son grows up with a decent role model.
My father was a ******* ass, a cheating lying SOB, completely **** role model. He was in and out of my life and I wish he had just not been around at all. So perhaps jackson, getting this idiot out of your life will be beneficial in the long run. Better your son has no role model than a **** one.
