Polish Girlfriend gone missing

well I hope you are right.. but all of the things you said could also be a very cowardly way of ending it without having to face you.. still, you know best.. and good luck.

Welcome to Dumpsville, population: ted_no7

Sorry if that's harsh, but this is new info (or I missed it before) and it _really_ sounds like she's decided to end the relationship and didn't have the guts or backbone to tell you directly (and the hospital stuff is just a cover).

I'm coming over to shewolf's point of view: sick or not, father or not, if she cared for you, she'd find a way to let you know (unless there are other details besides the message from the sister who may have been acting on her own).

Finally, in the US (or UK usually) a person who has to choose between a romantic relationship and their family will usually choose the relationship.

In Poland, even if they speak badly of them, they'll usually choose their family.

Dropping out of school & moving seem a bit extreme just to end a relationship, wouldnt you say?

Extreme? Yeah, and I realize it might not be entirely her idea, but ask yourself, in her place would or wouldn't you find a way to contact someone you really loved?

Apparently people ted_no7's contacted know what's going on won't tell him (probably at her request). Can you name that tune?

Sorry for not reading all the answers. But I guess the girl/woman is a grown-up at least? If so, she should stand up for herself and doesn't let her parents arrange her life.

Since it seems she is not able to do that, I advise you to quit and let her stew in her own juice.
You did your best and more than that.
If people cannot take their own responsibility then they would be totally not suitable to have a relationship or a family with.

Not much to add.

It is possible that she simply moved to a cheaper flat.

Didn't mention it to Ted because she was making a new start.

The family arguement is over exaggerated
...................................................................... ..........
No-one on the girlfriend's side seems to be telling the truth. A least they won't commit themselves to a yes or no. A reaction like this suggests: end of

If she went for a termination then the hospital visit would probably have been shorter.

She knows that you (Ted) are a determined person and she is just hoping that you will go away.

Do we know for sure that she has dropped out of school ?

For peace of mind I would give it another week. If there is no result. Give up.

Edit: Christmas is just around the corner, if you don't get a card or SMS then........

i do and i bet i am right.


yup

Are u sure you are talking about some Polish girl. She sounds more like Indian and her dad is trying to control whom she meets or dates. I think you are messed up dude. She clearly dumped you . I am sure its very harsh to read this but this seems to be the truth. Look mate, why would u want to be with someone who doesnt even care about informing you of her whereabouts. There is something called responsibilty, which is clearly lacking in her. Take some time off, get over her and get on with your life.

All the best!

hi

Just reporting some closure on this, albeit I still don't know the full picture and never will.
She's either in Spain on scholarship (doubtful) or moved in with a new boyfriend. The hospital info was a sick lie.
Either way she should win awards for her acting and lies! Looks like I had a lucky escape ;-)

Thanks to those of you who have offered me assistance and posted messages of support - there are some very good and genuine folk on this forum.

Happy New Year! I'm looking forward to 2009 already

Really sorry to hear about that....Not all women are the same as this b*tch, please remember that.

Im glad you got to the bottom of it in the end, not that, that is much comfort to you :(


:) you too x

yeah man, party on.

Tough news, but look on the bright side, you really dodged a bullet and now this new guy will be the poor bastard on the receiving end of her lies and manipulation.

Final warning: I wouldn't be _hugely_ surpised if one of the reasons for the obfuscations were that she was thinking of you as an insurance policy. If things didn't work out with mr new dreamboat she could still make up some story you'd believe and waltz back into your life as if nothing had happened. If she ever shows up again, waste no time in kicking her to the curb.

In the meantime, it's a new year, time to go out and build a new life. Best of luck!

Don't worry I certainly will not be responding to any future contact she might make - to be honest I think I've seen the last of her anyway.

I'm still amazed how I failed to see any of this coming, I don't consider myself to be naive but she certainly played me for a fool. I'm just glad that she did'nt get any closer to me and never met my family. I had a great Christmas with my 4 month old neice being the highlight (you soon forget about affairs of the heart when you have a baby smiling and gurgling at you ;-) ) - I'm so glad this ex was'nt at the Christening yesterday morning as was originally planned.....the thought of someone like her being there with my family and close friends is not a nice one.

I'm going to enjoy plenty of beers celebrating the New Year and I may even still return to Krakow in the Spring for a happier weekend than the last time (I still have a couple of booked flights as Easy Jet don't do refunds). A couple of cold Zywiec with those great potatoe cakes swimming in pork goulash would do just fine!

Enjoy your New Year's celebrations. You've been put through the mill all right. It was not a pleasant story as it unfolded. Better luck next time.

Some make good actors, but have a tendency to deliver the wrong lines.

Hell yeah!

And pick yourself up a replacement while you're there, it's not as if there's a shortage of fit women in Poland, although there most certainly is a shortage of halfway-decent men, which is why us expats play at least a couple of divisions higher than we would at home!

wow! I am stunned. I'm sorry to hear it. She went way too far with the hospital lie and letting you worry over her.

oh man, classic dumbbitch. good riddens.

hahaha... man I know that's right. Who needs two bosses?

Her behavior has no excuse but sometimes girls who have abusive fathers have a fear of confrontation. That's probably why she lied and ran away instead of facing the situation and telling the truth. Things are not going to turn out well for her.

Sad to read the story but glad to see you are not taking it too hard and going back to PL, find yourself a new girl take her with you and hope to see her on the street and give her the smirk...

:]

:D

That's a shame to hear mate. Just goes to show that women are all a bit mental. This is not a dig at the polish...I am not going to open that can of worms...so all women, regardless of age or nationaliy = mental!

As are men.

Yeah, but at least I understand the mentalness of guys and can deal with it.

it's funny how the women knew she was lying and the men didn't believe us. ;)

To the poster of the girlfriend problem.
Do you know the church her family attends? If so, talk with the priest and explain the situation. Maybe the priest can act as a mediator. Worth a shot and good luck.

the best advice givers for men about women are women themselves. I always ask my polish ladyfriends for advice about women. they are almost always right

this story is PROOF POSITIVE of why I stay clear of relationships.

I just get what I need and move on. Never get attached.

At the first sign of tension, i'm gone

I will never open my heart to another female, especially these PL birds who are the masters of deceit and manipulation.

Russian women are worse for deceit. They come out at first all sweet and so lovey dovey and then hit you up for money. When you don't put out with money, they quit writing. There is some hidden problem with this relationship that maybe a priest or lawyer can handle.

Yes that definitely will not open a can of worms! No wonder you dont have luck with the ladies.