Worrying observation about Polish attitudes to lying and cheating

I have been taught in both English and Polish schools and I can honestly say there is cheating in both.

I really don;t know where you get this 'most Polish parents' from - have you spoken to them? Where are you getting this information from?

Do you speak fluent Polish?

I am not getting at you but I need to understand what prompts you to write such generalisation.

As for cheating in love - well that's a different kettle of fish and cannot be compared to cheating in schools.

The English educational system differs a lot from the Polish one. Polish schools are more demanding and more pressurised. Tests are frequent.

In English schools the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed - tests are only given pre-warned.

If you do not perform well they simply put you in a lower set. Not much pressure.

Exams at the end of the year are well moderated, usually from the front as well as the back and make cheating practically impossible (the punishment for cheating is disqualification which puts people off anyway).

Finally, going to church in Poland is a way of life. Churches are full on Sundays. In the UK people go shopping or got oc ar boot sales/ play football.

Just because someone goes to church does not mean they are a saint or that they never swear, lie, or are selfish. It would be a very simplistic view to assume that if you go to church you are perfect. People are only people. Personally, I think that if they didn't go to church they would perhaps be even worse.

I think religion is a private thing but you need to go to church occassionally to remind yourself what's it all about.

Hope this answers your questions.:)

agreed.

Plenty of men out cheatin right now, and they arent polish.

hi,

i cheated in the primary school ... especially, on russian language classes...
then again, it was not accepted... we were told that cheating was wrong...

in high school and at university cheating was very risky. i mean, some ppl were cheating as well, but when they did got caught , they got 0 points in result of their test or essay (?)

and also when i was in the states i was said that telling a white-lie ( what the hell is it? :) is not wrong... interesting... and i met some girls , most of them were white , well-educated , working in corporate places who liked my boyfriend and wanted to "make a romance with him" like Borat would say :) and they knew about me from the very beginning... i may be an evil atheist, but if the guy has a girlfirend and she is pregnant i do not want to get involved in any type of relationship with him. I do not care how attractive or rich he would be , am i weird :)

One day I found this email to my bf from one american girl, very talented but ugly graphic designer from boston...

She wrote very long, poetic message to him . It was sth like this: "I know we are at different points in life but on the same vertical line... love is not about one person , there are many others... i know you will leave a piece of yourself here before you go..." She meant, before he goes to Poland.

I asked her what she wanted. She said she was very sorry... She just broke up with her bf (the first lie) and was going through very hard times. And she only wanted to get a SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE from my bf ( second lie) :) Why she just could not tell me the truth?

I did not know that sex is called spiritual guidance these days...

And just in case you think I am controlling- I got my bf email password from him and he has mine as well... He said he had nothing to hide and I can read his emails as often as I want...

white lie: a lie for someone's best interest, a lie to avoid unpleasant situations or confrontations, a lie to give someone a chance, or a lie to make someone feel better.

you know, suppose you are sick, and you know you'll be cured, but you don't want people who care about you to worry about you, and you would tell them you're fine and nothing is wrong, then that would be a white lie. :)


try to be open minded? you can't say with 100% certainty wether god does or does not exist? atleast that's my point of vieuw, don't have to convert you. :) but atheists, unless they are freemasons, aren't evil in my books. and also, you're not so weird as you might think, that is called being considerate and caring.. kind, or being decent.

intentionally meddling in/ or breaking up a relation when kids are involved seems pretty evil to me. although some people may have a good reason, like when the husband is abusive or cheating..

I could understand that much. :)

Thank you...

So I guess this American lady who wanted to have sex with my bf before he goes to PL to live with me, just told me a white lie to make me feel better :)

For me lie is a lie ...

no, that would not be a white lie, because she was trying to cheat on you, - or to make him cheat on you - knowing full well that would hurt your feelings.

same goes for me. - untill recently, I thought very different though. - anyway, I think we are in desperate need of a dr. phil section here. :)

:)

Thnx. Of course that was a joke. I know she did not tell me a white lie...I wish she did.

Anyways, after I sent her a few emails, she was also trying to present me a very nagative image of my bf. accusing him of many things he did not do... For a short time I was very confused. She gave me so much pain and unnecessary stress. I really do not like her and I hope sth like this will happen to her in the future as well.

well, it all comes down to trust. not many girls would react like you did, a lot of girls would fall for a cheap trick like that.

so it's a good thing you didn't mess up by stressing out your buff with interrogations and suspicious questions, my guess is that the other girl tried to stir things up between you two, and for some boys this could turn into a reason to leave you or cheat on you.

not saying it's justified, but sometimes jealousy and distrust can turn things sour. just felt like sharing that one, maybe it'll help someone else. :)

i need to chime in here.

earlier this year i met a girl from PL. We spent plenty of time online and after 3 months, i went to visit her. We lived together in a place we rented.

during that 3 months, i found that she was "looking for her Prince Charming" on a worldwide dating website. We met on a MySpace clone.

So i created a fake acct with some other guys pics, and started messaging her. She was getting interested in him. He was planning to come to visit Europe during the summer. He made more money, had a better job, nicer car, etc....

She would send him more emails than me. She would send him an email at least 4/7 days per week that he would get when he(me) woke up. She never verbally spoke with him online or other means.

She told him things that she never told me. Personal things. She also made up things about her job, social life, family and friends that was not true. I know because i was there witness to it all.

WHile i was in PL, i was sitting in an internet cafe located on the other side of the wall from her office, and was instant messaging with her.

She made up so much crap it was unbelievable. Not going to share, sorry.

After I came back to Canada, everything fell apart, and our relationship ended.

at least i got a chance to see PL and have great shags.

now 1 day after it was "over" she was inviting him to spend time with her, and said that they would do all the things we did. WTF?

I'm so glad i didn't persue this any longer

I'm not saying that only PL girls are decietful, but it happens all over, this is just my bad PL experience.

to this day she knows nothing about my "investigative work"

I'm living here now, and am well aware of the tricks they play.

I fear this ruthless streak is inherent in Poles ??? Particularly the women who can be so absolutely single minded in their drive for what they want . This can be very very attractive since the determination and base strength is some time what a man needs more than anything. They also tap into a mans basic instinct in expert fashion.

My underlying absolute fear is that cheating and lying is alot more acceptable in Poland because of this background. Lying is just a little game to play while living your life.

Never having felt such jealousy before makes me think I either am totally besotted and never want to be without this women OR it is my sixth sense kicking in....

Which one ????? all a bit too much for my little brain

By the way your story nauczyciel shows absolute immense self control . I am bloody impressed, I would not have got past the fact that she used a website to look at other men. Maybe need to work on expecting the worst and preparing for it.

I'm not saying that only PL girls are decietful, but it happens all over, this is just my bad PL experience.

I would suspect that there are more men like this that women. You were just unlucky with this girl.

I think that people in Poland don't lie and cheat in everyday life more that other nations.

But yes...we sometimes cheat at school( maybe it has changed now)- I know in UK cheating is perceived as wrong and there are big problems if someone is caught.

I Poland if soemone is caught he will get also in troubles but probbaly less....

I think that there is lying and cheating everywhere. Maybe the PL just make it more obvious.

Again, It's all because of our difficult history . (there he goes with the damn history again :) ).

We just have a very long tradition of fighting with the system and some rules that this system tries to enforce, starting with 123 years of living under the rule of Prussia(Germany), Austria and Russia, and then in the 20th century over 40 years of “communism”. In both situations school was just another form of the oppression used by our enemies and it just stayed in our genes that there's nothing wrong with cheating the system. Totally different rules are used towards people. If you lie a person or cheat on her/him it shatters your good opinion, and nobody wants that. For me this division is pretty obvious and really never had any problems to cheat on a test. Besides we don't use the word cheat but the word "ściągać"(anyone knows how to translate this into English :( ). I guess we use double standards when it comes to cheat on the test, but that doesn't mean that it's acceptable in our society to cheat and lie other people in real life. I hope that you will understand us better now.


And this is worth repeating, as it is very true.

Cheating in high school was a laugh... the teachers told us the answers ...!! it was so stupid...!!! and like Polish High School classes were so easy to cheat we had Nuns as our teachers in polish...!!!

I suppose you are right , Matyjasz.

But people who come from free countries which have never being occupied don't feel it in the way how we do.

That is a great answer Matyjasz. Very well put together and makes sense to me.
Thank you.

your right, but as he stated on that post, and I was going to say maybe it was because
of history and how poland has been CHEATED so many times !

WOW, I was thinking that. serious!

I can see your point, but I cant condone cheating, its just wrong and what does anyone actually gain from it?? People get hurt and people get found out...so no real good comes out of it.

I agree there is nothing good with cheating but like Matyjasz said:
Austria and Russia, and then in the 20th century over 40 years of “communism”. In both situations school was just another form of the oppression used by our enemies and it just stayed in our genes that there's nothing wrong with cheating the system. Totally different rules are used towards people. If you lie a person or cheat on her/him it shatters your good opinion, and nobody wants that.

I think that in personal life we don't cheat any more than other nations but "cheating the system"- it will take years, and years to change our perception.

in england, when i sign a contract, that contract is my word... my bond... the contract stands strong...

... in poland i get the idea... and have been told... that a contract is nothing unless money is given to back it up... a deposit...

We generally are rather mistrusting towards strangers.

Still I like your morals BubbaWoo. I also was thought that ones word is saint.


But cheating on exams actually doesn’t hurt anyone, maybe aside from the person that cheats. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that cheating on exams is something considered good by the teachers, parents and students themselves. It’s just that people generally treat it as a "small evil". Just like you said about the white lies.


I’m sure you wouldn’t even compare this kind of a lie to cheating on ones partner for example. Both are lies, but one of them isn’t as bad as the other. I know that’s just using double standards but that’s the result of our history. Oh, and one more thing, just because Poland is a catholic country doesn’t mean that there are only John Paul’s and Mother Teresa’s living in it. We are not that different form protestants you know. :)

PS: And just because cheating on exams is considered as a "small evil" doesn’t mean that all pupils cheat, and that those who actually cheat do it al the time. :)

I agree with this, as in 9th grade, i had chicken pox and was off for 3 weeks of school
math was not my favorite subject, and when I came back to school to get all my
homework, the teacher handed me by mistake the teachers handbook.

I tried to not use it as i had my own, but I had asked her to help me with understanding
the homework she gave " back then she was a drinker" so when I asked her she
looked at me dumbfounded and said just follow the directions.

so I used the book to get me thru all the answers and tried to understand it, but
still had trouble, that section of learning I did cheat, and with good reasons, no one
was helping me to learn, especially the teacher. my parents couldnt help because they
both dropped out to help their parents and work. so I was on my own, I dont feel
bad that I did that, because I was cheated from learning.

I think it depends on Why/What. every situation is different. I didnt want to get a
bad grade all because my teacher was to drunk to work with me.

There is a saying that people use , Mostly ones who have been cheated on.

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER..

So no matter what culture or color of skin there out there waiting to Cheat.............

Depends on the Situation, I stand by my post, she was a drunk, I learned nothing
in her class, our parents pay top dollar taxes (which pays their salary) and send
us to school to learn. so while shes in the bathroom nippin the bottle, kids in the class
are going crazy , total chaos, yeah, again, I say, I stand by my post.

I probably could have turned her in, and then risk getting hurt by other kids, no thanks
i preferred catching up with the book and working on learning. that was all on my own
as this teacher was good for nothing. if I am a Cheater, then I am . no more then
anyone else.

When commenting as a Polish person please tell me honestly whether (in your experience) it is common for children to cheat at tests in school. I can honestly say that (in my experience) it is very very rare in England.I can also say that my parents would have been very ashamed if I had.

That is true but is it because they are so honest or they are frightened as consequences are much harsher in UK?????

From my observation in UK there are thieves, murderers, people copying pirate cd, DVD, deal drugs.....no difference to Poland I am afraid.

It is the same like someone said that in Poland there is dogs **** everywhere. That is true but I don't even know if there is any lawa against it? Even it is noone bothers.

I remember from my visit to USA that they are very strict about it.

if your neighbour noticed tha you didn't clean after your dog he would report you in 5 minutes .

Im not saying I havent told a couple of white lies along the way through life (phoning in work sick after going on a bender the night before - I say Ive been sick, I was I just didnt tell them the whole truth to why I was sick), that would be a lie!

Amathys good example,

being sick on Monday morning after big drinking or after football match. Relatively often happens in UK.I would say much more often than in Poland.

I know a Polish guy that lies about everything. I mean he says that he doesn't smoke, while he does. he lies to his mun about going to chuch. Stupid things like this

the effect is that you can never trust anyone who does this
and how lame can u be if you cannot stand up for youself?

my husband and partner of 19 years left me for a lying cheating Polish girl who's still seeing her partner back in Poland. She has robbed him of at least £10k so far, she is currently on her 5th holiday from xmas!

Give them an inch and they'll take a mile, that applies to any opportunist in any country :(

when i read some of the stories, i'm ashamed of my fellow Poles...
:/

Biggest and most hurtful?
I thought that would be by your ex-prime minister.