UK, Ireland / Poland vs. UK - how the manners differ [48]

As I understand the Anglophone side, there are complaints that:
- we don't have the custom of holding the door for them.. which is true, and yes, I am used to it now and do it. It doesn't hurt me and might even be nice. But originally we only have a custom of males doing that for females and not just behind one's back but standing to the side.

- we look at people. which is true, and I look at people. I don't agree with your version, I don't think it's rude and will continue to do it.

- we do have a custom of saying thanks, but not like the British quick 'cheers' used as our 'dobra dobra' and 'no super'. in fact 'cheers' and 'ta' are rude in my opinion, it's brushing off the other person. I use thanks.

- guys don't give enough gifts and meals out. that one is deeply cultural. you know what kind of women take gifts - not hook3rs, but moneymaker fiancées.

there might be others, feel free to rant.

Now let me present you with the Polish side, the opinions of my acquaintances, colleagues, friends and my humble self:

bad things:
- the table manners are bad in the UK, better in the US. Americans don't chomp so horribly. Brits like especially a packet of crisps, especially when it's quiet in the office, and while sitting behind one's back and with GLEE. I also don't know how do you speak so articulately with mouth full, and does the plate really need such forceful poking?

- gossip is rampant - not that we don't have it, but it's done differently.
- rudeness towards pedestrians while driving is life-threatening.
- some people don't realize that the person who enters the last, greets everyone first. they expect me to greet them, when I'm sitting inside! I politely smile and look and wait patiently. It might be due to some feudal laws of superiority or leftist bs. We in all honesty have had it as well, when a woman in the previous system would greet a man first, just because she worked for him. one argument against working women.

-telling on one another. haven't happened to me personally.
-the introductions never happen. you're left to fend for yourself.
-they ask for higher prices from foreigners. just this Sunday I paid £25 for a wreath, while it costed £15.. no matter, she can have a Christmas gift from me.

good things:
-thank you notes. I love that custom, it's so considerate.
-politeness towards other cars while driving
-small talk - we've lost that one.
-cashier packing your shopping
-customer service will at least pretend they are bothered
-shop assistants are nice and polite
-foreign people are never trying to force an invitation, at least not to my humble hut.
-they are insistent on paying cash for petrol after a longer ride, even though I didn't ask for it.

Life / Polish culture - know your place. 'They ignore me completely' aspect. [17]

OK, a short discussion about Polish culture, why not. 'They ignore me completely' aspect.

I'm sure you have noticed already that people who come from humbler backgrounds in Poland do not want to talk too much, and generally stick to themselves.

Yes, they are. So is everyone else.

People will usually act along the lines of the old sayings:

ciągnie swój do swego - like attracts like.
nie pchaj się gdzie cię nie chcą - don't go where you're not wanted.
świń razem nie pasaliśmy - I haven't grazed pigs with you

Now, it looks as though if humble people don't want to talk to you, you get offended. But I say that you should NOT. If somebody is humble, they often are shy as well - of being not verbose, worldly, cultured etc. I, and ordinary city girl from £ódź, get that as well - if I'm dressed in a particularly lilac summer dress, people on the tram will not tell me on which stop to get out.

Why don't they want to talk to you? Well, for starters, dear Forumers, if you are interested in foreign cultures, then you are worldly already. And they are not. They are quietly backwater, simple, ordinary and obscure - and liking it.

In the 19th century, Wyspianski the playwright wrote 'Wesele', with the famous line: 'co tam, Panie, w polityce?', 'what 'o, Sir, in the Politics?'. The intelligentsia were dumbfounded - so the simple people take interest in Politics? The simple people noted the dumbfounded-ness. Then came the carnages of the 20th century. Simple people became the masters and really showed what they can do.

So now there are three societies, along the lines of former 'stany', and a little similar to 'class', but not based on money. There are the countryside people, majority in Poland, who are church goers and really as natural as you can have them, walking around in their torn underpants. There are the two city states - the aloof ones, intelligentsia, who keep to themselves, upon introduction ask: 'how many languages do you speak' to set up the rank, and live off their brains. And all the rest, sometimes called 'blokersi, but in most cases zawodówka pupils, hairdressers, steel traders, etc. Many a time the steel trader is far richer than a journalist, but belongs to the simpler crowd.

So, the simpler crowd, encountering a foreign speaker, removes the contact tentacles. And you, Forumers, even if you are English working class, are foreign speakers and may be cut off, so that you are not given a chance of imposing your tongue-speaking self.

...

enough of those ramblings... my Carmenere is almost gone...