Love / Should I Be Nervous About Going to Poland? Black female dating a Pole. [158]


Most "ethnic" message boards have a strong nationalistic streak to them. It's a byproduct of the anonymity the internet provides...people feel free to express how they really feel. When confronted with "reality", though, these thoughts are rarely overtly expressed.


Glad to hear this but realize that there is a difference between visiting another country and dating someone from another country. For some, that's where they draw the line.

Love / Questions about Polish women [17]

Problem is, if her visa's expired, I can imagine things can be really uncomfortable for her. Dealing with the underground economy, being afraid of being caught, if you really care about someone it's hard to see them go through that for such a long time.

However, if you care about someone that much, you shouldn't be afraid that she's a "gold digger." She may be, but it's something you'll have to risk. Her situation doesn't mean she is more or less likely to be that way...any more or less than anyone else you'd meet out there...but if it's something you're afraid of then maybe you're not ready for that sort of commitment at this time.

It's all a gamble but if it's worth it you go for it.

Love / Questions about Polish women [17]

Ok, a caveat: I am not Polish but have dated Polish women and have a good number of Polish friends. I'm also curious about the questions you've expressed and wonder if I've gotten the right read on the Polish folks I know, so...


Yes. I've also heard that Polish women have the tendency to nag but that may just be my male Polish friends complaining. =) Seems to be a national pastime of sorts.


Yes. The family is a lot more important to the average Polish person than the average American...even if they cannot stand them. This often leads to #1, complaining.


Hmmm. Loyalty is important but I've always felt it's been used more as a convenient excuse, covering up other motivations. The last (Polish) woman I dated also wanted to leave the country but admitted that she found it easier to live and work in the US (Chicago).


Very common. Family is really important and if the folks back home were well to do, there would have been less impetus to go overseas.


Yes and No. Money is not the most important thing but, especially in the US, there seemed to be an element of "keeping up with the Joneses" so, in some ways, money is important. Also, I think most Polish women do not like being beholden to another (always seeming to want to split the check, etc.) so a prenup would be ok with them...although if the relationship goes wrong they may not be so "generous"

I have not met a Polish woman who wanted to get married just to get a green card.


No. Education is very important in Poland. High paying jobs seem to be limited for the few in Poland.

Love / How can a black man get a Polish women [248]

But, you presented the number dead as "fact" as well. I would think it would make one question the sources used in presenting an argument. Additionally, what you're now presenting as fact is merely conclusory on your part.

Saying the US invaded Iraq is one thing. That is hard to dispute. But your original statement is a bit too easy. Was the conflict in Lebanon a proxy war for the US and USSR? Were early assassination attempts performed by neighbors or people within the country? Israel's role? It was a very complicated situation there at the time.

And lastly, even if your conclusion were 100% true, isn't that just really applicable to that time and place? There was a huge influx of Polish people into Ireland and the UK and you can say that it increased hostilities (arguable), but I would blame the world economy more than anything else. Here in Chicago, there's a large Pakistani and Indian population on the north side and they get along fine with the locals and with each other.

I guess I don't think your information is all that factual or convincing in support of your conclusion.

Love / How can a black man get a Polish women [248]

"News" and "history" have always been disputable. The coverage of a news event will differ based on the biases of those delivering the news. Fox News vs Al Jazeera, White vs Black, Russian vs Polish. They can cover the same thing but present totally different stories.

For example:


There are several problems with the story you're presenting. I'm guessing based on the number of deaths you are referring to the Lebanese Civil War. If that's the case you are misrepresenting the number of Christians killed. The number of dead approached 300000 but that was both Christian and Muslim dead. The Phalange committed their own atrocities against Muslim civilians before and during the war so it's hardly fair to blame Muslims alone. Additionally, the numbers cited include civilian casualties during the Israeli invasion of Southern Lebanon. I'm not an expert in the field or anything but I think you're sources are either misinformed or simply biased and intending to mislead.

*sigh* Why can't the "Poland Relationships" threads just be about relationships. Aren't the other forum units more suitable for this sort of conversation?

Love / How can a black man get a Polish women [248]


Just a correction. What you cited was my first post in this thread so it really can't be "defensive" on my part since none of your previous posts on this thread was directed towards me. I wasn't part of the conversation.

Oh, and since I last checked the forum you've labeled things as "PC" 4 times in this thread alone.


I could ask you the same about your opinions on the original subject of this thread. Isn't your contribution to the conversation an attempt to enforce your beliefs on someone who had a relationship question? I always considered true conservativism, be it governmental or personal, as an attempt to limit interference in the lives of others.

Just pointing out the inconsistencies in your reasoning.

I, like other non-Polish folks, started reading this forum to get a better understanding of their Polish girlfriend (or boyfriend)...but digging through all of the race-bait-rants has made it really tough to find any real insight. You, Randal, from my understanding, are not Polish but like a Polish girl. How would you feel if people told you that having a relationship with this person is wrong because you're not Polish?

Personally, if you like her and she likes you I would tell you to ignore the peanut gallery and go for it. It's not my job to make people who are trying to be happy together miserable.

Love / How can a black man get a Polish women [248]

Don't worry Castanea, you'll only be immature until you turn 30. Then you'll be "old fashioned" and "closed minded" ;)

And the media rant...isn't that where you got your factoid about Lebanon? That argument is pretty common on anti-muslim/white power web sites. In today's age, that's as much media as the Drudge Report or Huffington Post. You're doing the same thing you're railing against..."swallowing the crap the media shoves down your throat."

Based on your profile, you're a student interested in medicine. Not really news, but in the US at least, if you do continue in this line of study you'll be surrounded by a lot of non-white people. I hope you meet some great people who can maybe change your mind.

Love / How can a black man get a Polish women [248]


PF attracts a lot of people who have this sentiment. Perhaps they are "louder" than the rest and are better at drowning out other opinions so they seem more numerous. Or perhaps it's because of the isolated nature of the Polish community (at least in Chicago) outside of Poland. But I kind of think that US Polonia, at least represented here, seems more "racist" than the Polish people who live in Poland and post here.

It's unfortunate. Most Polish people I know are pretty awesome.


Labeling everything you disagree with as "PC BS" is the laziest form of argument I've ever heard or read. Some people recite what they hear from liberal sources of information but you spout off similar nonsense from conservatives. They're both twisted, biased and lazy. It reflects an unwillingness to try to understand the other side, to weigh the underlying facts, to even attempt to find the "truth" of the matter. Lazy.

Frankly, you seem more brainwashed than any of the people you're arguing with.

Love / Polish Girlfriend gone missing [154]

The problem is the lack of communication on the girl's part though... She could be angry about something, maybe something he did or the situation she's in, but it seems like it's the case of the stereotyped "flighty Polish girl."

It's a lot easier to avoid things than to confront them in a relationship but it's usually not the right way to go.

Love / Love my polish girlfriend alot but under pressure from family [166]


If you think there hasn't been any advice in the messages posted here then it seems like you're just fishing for pity. Regardless, hope you come to a successful resolution to your problems.

Love / Love my polish girlfriend alot but under pressure from family [166]


Ouch. It's really easy to tell people to take on difficult situations but most of the people I know who do so have had times in their lives when they've been on the other side of the fence. A little stern logic and frank opinion seems more constructive than name calling.


Amen to that. I think overall the opinions expressed here say you should try to talk to your parents. It will be difficult but you are the only one who knows if your love for this girl is worth the effort. If she is, good luck to you two.

Love / Love my polish girlfriend alot but under pressure from family [166]

Although I am not Muslim, my advice for the original poster is to slowly introduce the idea to his parents. Pick the more lenient parent, throw out some hypotheticals and see how she or he reacts. Be calm and rationalize with that parent and see if you can get them on your side to convince the other. If you really love this girl it's worth trying and if it doesn't work out, well, you're pretty much in the same position you're in right now (although with some hard feelings).

I'm Korean and a cousin of mine married a Vietnamese guy she met in San Francisco. Korean folks are pretty hard headed, perhaps even as hard headed as Polish folk.

=)

Her parents did not show up for the wedding and there was a rough period of time between my cousin and her parents but eventually (when they had a child) things got patched up. If you really think your relationship with her is worth it, I'd suggest trying.

Love / What do you make out of our relationship (chinese girl with a Polish man? [8]

It sort of makes sense that there would be a lot of posts concerning nationality X with Polish M/W. There's been a lot of movement of younger Polish folks in recent years and Poland itself (from what I hear) is becoming more diverse. Also, for a lot of non Poles, Polish culture is really different and so questions are bound to come up.

Nationality X with nationality Y discussions come up on every ethnic/country forum with the usual answers (ranging from "individuals differ so it depends" to the xenophobic/nationalistic response). I'm sure some of the posts are mere provocations/trolling but I would guess many are real. No matter what nationality is being discussed there will be people who do not know how to use the "search" function...so the same questions will come up repeatedly...

And for the original poster: He's probably married and too old. Don't get caught up in his mid life crisis.