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Questions about Polish women


Needhelp 1 | 1  
27 Mar 2009 /  #1
I am an american man dating a polish women who happens to be in the USA illegally (Visa recently expired). The girl who is 10 years younger than me (in her mid 20's) she and I were friends first and started dating (She had a crush on me). She says she really likes me for me and is not looking for a greencard. I do know for a fact that she has outright turned down other men who were specficially looking to date her becuase she is dating me. So here are a few questions. I have:

1. She can complain alot / can be negative. - Common or no?

2. Talks about family, but says how bad things are, not loving, mean, but then calls mom and sends money home on a regular basis to help out?

3. Wants to leave the country, but committed to renting a room and helping a friend. She is very unhappy with situation, but doesnt want to leave for a EU nation. Says she promised a friend to stay. Loyalty a strong traight?

4. Sending money home to supposedly help for food and clothes -Sounds fishy -Common or no?

5. Common in the culture for money NOT to be the most important? She said she would sign a prenuptual and give up all rights if she married someone. Said she would only marry for love. Common or no?

6. Educated with a masters degree in EU law. I hear college is limited for the few in Poland. Is this true?

We dont want to see her leave and look for options. She seems to have a lot of very good charecteristic that would make a good wife. Have not dated her long enough, but am considering it as an option in a few months.

I have no interest in ending up as a divorcee with a because of a polish gold digger looking for a greencard. Not to be pesimistic, just realistic.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
27 Mar 2009 /  #2
I hear college is limited for the few in Poland. Is this true?

This is not so.

The rest of the points get the usual answer. All people are different... one can't generalize.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
28 Mar 2009 /  #3
I think most of the things sound realistic. But of course you can never be completely sure.
southern 75 | 7,096  
28 Mar 2009 /  #4
1. She can complain alot / can be negative. - Common or no?

Common.

2. Talks about family, but says how bad things are, not loving, mean, but then calls mom and sends money home on a regular basis to help out?

Common.

. Wants to leave the country, but committed to renting a room and helping a friend. She is very unhappy with situation

Common.

Said she would only marry for love. Common or no?

Common.
torajima - | 18  
29 Mar 2009 /  #5
Ok, a caveat: I am not Polish but have dated Polish women and have a good number of Polish friends. I'm also curious about the questions you've expressed and wonder if I've gotten the right read on the Polish folks I know, so...

1. She can complain alot / can be negative. - Common or no?

Yes. I've also heard that Polish women have the tendency to nag but that may just be my male Polish friends complaining. =) Seems to be a national pastime of sorts.

2. Talks about family, but says how bad things are, not loving, mean, but then calls mom and sends money home on a regular basis to help out?

Yes. The family is a lot more important to the average Polish person than the average American...even if they cannot stand them. This often leads to #1, complaining.

3. Wants to leave the country, but committed to renting a room and helping a friend. She is very unhappy with situation, but doesnt want to leave for a EU nation. Says she promised a friend to stay. Loyalty a strong traight?

Hmmm. Loyalty is important but I've always felt it's been used more as a convenient excuse, covering up other motivations. The last (Polish) woman I dated also wanted to leave the country but admitted that she found it easier to live and work in the US (Chicago).

4. Sending money home to supposedly help for food and clothes -Sounds fishy -Common or no?

Very common. Family is really important and if the folks back home were well to do, there would have been less impetus to go overseas.

5. Common in the culture for money NOT to be the most important? She said she would sign a prenuptual and give up all rights if she married someone. Said she would only marry for love. Common or no?

Yes and No. Money is not the most important thing but, especially in the US, there seemed to be an element of "keeping up with the Joneses" so, in some ways, money is important. Also, I think most Polish women do not like being beholden to another (always seeming to want to split the check, etc.) so a prenup would be ok with them...although if the relationship goes wrong they may not be so "generous"

I have not met a Polish woman who wanted to get married just to get a green card.

6. Educated with a masters degree in EU law. I hear college is limited for the few in Poland. Is this true?

No. Education is very important in Poland. High paying jobs seem to be limited for the few in Poland.
peter_olsztyn 6 | 1,098  
29 Mar 2009 /  #6
Questions about Polish women

Polish girls are mysterious beautiful angels who are very attractive. Polish girls are a different breed and there are certain rules that you need to follow when you wish to date them. They are girls from Poland the land which plays host to these amazing women.

When you are dating Polish girls, do not treat them like aliens. Men do this a lot. You should therefore introduce your girlfriend to your friends and not be ashamed of her.

Do not assume that Polish girls do not understand certain things. They are modern girls who are more aware and more educated. There are men who still believe that some girls cannot even drive. Do not be ignorant in this sense.

popłakałem się :)
NomadatNet 1 | 457  
29 Mar 2009 /  #7
All these evidences are a clear sign of that she is a gold digger.
miranda  
29 Mar 2009 /  #8
We dont want to see her leave and look for options. She seems to have a lot of very good charecteristic that would make a good wife. Have not dated her long enough, but am considering it as an option in a few months.

maybe you should consider dating her for longer and then make a decision. Asking random people is not going to help you, unless you wan to hear what you are already thinking about her and need a confirmation.

It sounds like you are quite suspicious of her (aka - insecure that somebody would like you for you, not for your citizenship).
torajima - | 18  
29 Mar 2009 /  #9
Problem is, if her visa's expired, I can imagine things can be really uncomfortable for her. Dealing with the underground economy, being afraid of being caught, if you really care about someone it's hard to see them go through that for such a long time.

However, if you care about someone that much, you shouldn't be afraid that she's a "gold digger." She may be, but it's something you'll have to risk. Her situation doesn't mean she is more or less likely to be that way...any more or less than anyone else you'd meet out there...but if it's something you're afraid of then maybe you're not ready for that sort of commitment at this time.

It's all a gamble but if it's worth it you go for it.
steer4omdarear 1 | 14  
29 Mar 2009 /  #10
hey needhelp. how are you? my ex is polish but i really close to her family and loads of polish friends. im living in ireland and we have very big polish community in my town

1. She can complain alot / can be negative. - Common or no?

Common

2. Talks about family, but says how bad things are, not loving, mean, but then calls mom and sends money home on a regular basis to help out?

yes polish familys are very close even tho the have argument

3. Wants to leave the country, but committed to renting a room and helping a friend. She is very unhappy with situation, but doesnt want to leave for a EU nation. Says she promised a friend to stay. Loyalty a strong traight?

yes loyalty is strong but not all polish women are the same, they love playing games with you make you gealous!! my ex love move back to poland, but she know she got to stay here all her family feels the same too

4. Sending money home to supposedly help for food and clothes -Sounds fishy -Common or no?

yes common in poland wages are not great and clothes and food are expensive they also got bills gas, water, rent so not much left out of their wage packet.

5. Common in the culture for money NOT to be the most important? She said she would sign a prenuptual and give up all rights if she married someone. Said she would only marry for love. Common or no?

same some marry for money some marry for love

6. Educated with a masters degree in EU law. I hear college is limited for the few in Poland. Is this true?

no this is not true most people go on to college after school

i hope i help you if you got any furder questions you can e-mail me
joland 4 | 86  
30 Mar 2009 /  #11
"4. Sending money home to supposedly help for food and clothes -Sounds fishy -Common or no? "

it depends if she asked you for money to send home, or if she sent her own money and did not ask from you for the money...
southern 75 | 7,096  
30 Mar 2009 /  #12
Polish women want either marriage or money.Very simple.
Cenowski - | 63  
30 Mar 2009 /  #13
not all im sure, simple for your head maybe you was ripped of by one but on in usa hey need, maybe these girls are just not that Polish, thats why are off chasing money and flashing light in amerika
OP Needhelp 1 | 1  
1 Apr 2009 /  #14
Thank you all for your answers. I appreciate you taking the time to provide insight on my questions. A few comments to a few questions:

Miranda - American girls can be suspicious especially if you have money. Was doing a compare and contrast. I imagine she would like me for me. I am a pretty great guy :)Thank you for your insight.

Joland: She sends her own money. She does not ask me for money. I took her clothes shopping for her birthday, bought her a few outfits. She got mad and said she doesnt like people giving her things. It is embarrassing. Thank you for your comments.

Torajima- You are correct her situation is a little difficult. Excellent point about life being a gamble. You only live once, but sometimes you want to make sure you mitigate the risk before taking the chance. Hence, asking questions on this forum. Thank you for your short answers. Very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Peter_olsztyn - She is treated like a princesss. Is introduced as my girlfriend. I tell her she is smart, funny, her opinion is important, and she is beautiful. Most definately not treatred as a second class person. Thanks for the reply.

Steer4omdarear - Thankyyou for the answers. The insighted was helpful. It seems congruent with all the other answers I have heard and seen.
angelika04 - | 4  
13 May 2009 /  #15
1. She can complain alot / can be negative. - Common or no?[/quote]

All nationalities do that not just Polish. Get use to it.

2. Talks about family, but says how bad things are, not loving, mean, but then calls mom and sends money home on a regular basis to help out?

Very very common, this is almost like a golden rule with Polish people who still have family in Poland.

3. Wants to leave the country, but committed to renting a room and helping a friend. She is very unhappy with situation, but doesnt want to leave for a EU nation. Says she promised a friend to stay. Loyalty a strong traight?

A least that shows loyalty lol

[quote=Needhelp]
4. Sending money home to supposedly help for food and clothes -Sounds fishy -Common or no?

No this is NOT FISHY or a trait of a GOLDDIGGER. Every single Polsih person I know including my family does this and if they do not then they will be looked at as traitors and be hated/insulted by the family in Poland. It is almost like an obligation to send money to your family in Poland. Not only does she proboblly send money she soon will most likelly also start sending clothes, non perishable food items, toys for little kids in the family, and things like that at least one or twice a year to her family.

5. Common in the culture for money NOT to be the most important? She said she would sign a prenuptual and give up all rights if she married someone. Said she would only marry for love. Common or no?

I guess that depends on her, but I think she is stupid to say/ do that especially if you guys would end up having kids and then getting a divorce.

6. Educated with a masters degree in EU law. I hear college is limited for the few in Poland. Is this true?

Education is extremelly important in Poland and I know many poor people who go to college in Poland and come to America during the summer to make money to pay for the college.

If you like her a lot then just keep dating her and see how things go. From all the questions you just asked though I can tell you that she is not a gold digger, this is normal behavior for Polish people who are loyal to their family.
frd 7 | 1,399  
13 May 2009 /  #16
Every single Polsih person

bollocks, I know some polish people who are living in UK just for the sake of it and their very own life, that's a huge generalization. That probably depends on the social background one comes from, I'd say more dependent people or people from poor families will more likely send something but that is NOT a golden rule..

Education is extremelly important

That again hugely depends on where you come from, there are lots of people from lower classes who don't think like that. There's a mind boggling pressure on education in politics or media hence it may give you the idea that a degree is really important for the polish youth but as I said that's not entirely true.

And education is not limited to anyone if he really wants to study, it might be limited for those who want to graduate from a really well known university..
MaxChin - | 10  
16 May 2009 /  #17
Polish women want either marriage or money.Very simple.

Im totally agree with you, my ex polish girl was like this always talk about marriage. she is only 25 and she marriage I dont think she has prepare well for marriage.

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