UK, Ireland / Polish girls in England. [33]

I wanted to place the subject here to see the negativity of the replies to this post, I gather most of the polish girl's do not like England. It is after all an Island that has many different cultures that live on the Island. Some maybe worthy of being here and then again some mabe not so worthy to be here. It is a country that in some places is a downright mess and other places that are very nice. Polish people and girls in particular should know that all countrys with all places have the good and the bad.

England as an Island has it's fair share of good and bad and to this point it is the same as the people,to generalize and think and say (as I have noticed here) that English men are bad and English women are bad is a really sweeping statement that is comparable to one saying that all Polish women are after your money and only look for someone who has wealth established in them and their family.

I understand that two different cultures coming together to form a relationship is not easy and as been said on here before it can and usually does take time for this to happen and during this time there can be some really hard times. I and my ex-partner have had a fair share of these and so I write my words with only the brief (approx 12 months) experience of this. However that experience has been dogged with mis-trust that inevitably led to our break-up.

And so to the point that English men & Women are generally not good "as has been said on this forum many times before,remember people will break-up,divorce , separate for many different reason's and that does not just happen in the U.K . I feel that a person who believes this is an England phenomena is a really short sighted individual with no knowledge of life as a whole,no wider experience of people on this planet. For as humans we are born as individual's with individual mind's. There are really good friend's of mine who love their wives/husband's and children and family's etc etc etc and they are English. Their are German friend's of mine who have separated,divorced are single mother's etc and also Polish who have the same situation's in their live's so before as a Polish person you place a derogatory comment about English people , I would suggest you have a long hard think about mankind as a whole and give it some summing up before placing your post.

If we had no error's in Life we would never need to make improvement's and with improvement's everything can be better. And if you feel this so strongly that you do not like the country of England you have the option> go elsewhere and try to find what you think will be paradise. Paradise is what you make it and not thinking it.

Thank you/Dziekuje.

ps; "To the girl I loved (you know who you are ;) who has now gone out of my life,I only want you happy and if this is without me then it has to be like that. I am hurt but I accept".

Love / 2 different cultures or 2 different people [44]

hi i write my first topic of a sad note due to a breakdown with a girl i knew (polish) of just 6 months albeit a short time i actually felt very attached to this girl who i will simply call >aga,she came into my life during march/08 & instructed me that she lived in a rented home with 4 other polish nationalities and one of which was an ex-boyfriend of some 7 years but she told me they no longer loved and slept in different rooms and mentioned to me that she did not want to tell any of her house mates that she had began a relationship with me. Okay I understand this but what troubled me that when asked if i could see her room as I was helping her with english and sometimes the house was busy and so her room was a perfect room to choose to vacate the busy kitchen etc I was told no every time and so when asked "why" i was to be told it was a mess,however I felt that i was not concerned by her room a mess as for me thats not important if you feel alot for someone but of course it made me wonder why?

This went on and it troubled me more when told I could not see her on certain days of the week ie:monday,tuesday,thursday,friday & saturday but a little but sunday i could see. She never really asked me for money so this was not a concern and i topped up her phone a few times and bought dinner etc as this is for me just plain normal when you care for someone. However things started going downhill rapidly when after being told she wanted to marry and have children she started to dictate to me what i would and could not do once as she said moved in to my home ,for example go out wit my friends to a pub and although not really a drinker (little than one visit to a pub a month) during evening with a close friend whom I sometimes work with as I am a self employed gardener, but this would be a problem. My dog whom i have owned for8 years and comes everywhere like work with me would have to wear socks in my home but I said I would buy her a cat would not have to wear socks. As an english man I feel that the english language has somewhat changed during the last 20 or so years and swearing is seen everywhere and i know my place when i should not swear family,children and such like but it is something that is in my language as it is in the english dictionary of collins but this was not to be accepted. And so I should accept also the fact of being made to feel jealous by her statements of "this man at work who is so attracted to me and he asked me out for pizza" and "this man asked me out today" etc etc when asked why she done this i was to be told "i like it when my man shows jealousy".

and so this went on and she was going to move in with me once her contract expired (end of august) and so I had to decorate my home ready for such time but furniture and colours was always wrong when choose by me and so I adhered to her choice to please,one friday evening I was sitting at home very lonely and bored and after a call from a work friend deceided to go to a small pub for just a couple of units ,i wanted to do this as i was tired sitting at home alone on the evenings and days we did not seduring the evening some old irish work frinds who i had not seen in a long time began a night of whisky drinking and inevitably I went back to my male friends home to crash on his sofa,i returned in the morning a little worse for wear to find my dog had destroyed my new floor and door and door frames and was none too pleased ,I sent to her an sms to say sorry but I had gone out and when she came to me within 30 minutes gave to me an outburst that she was leaving me this led to an argument and we broke up.

we came back together but on saturday 16th august after she had been to a friends leaving bash on the friday evening and after spending the night with me I dropped her at my home and she walked to her home some 30 meters away saying she was tired and wanted to sleep,this was at 16:00hrs /saturday time passed and at 23;15hrs I went to bed after not hearing nothing from her,sunday morning came and still nothing and so after sending some sms asking if she was ok I tried to call but her phone was switched off ,her friend received an sms from her saying she was moving out but that was it and nothing to me,until i received something from her tuesday saying she had moved out but did not want to tell me where and that i should not contact her,baffled as i was i tried to not worry but of course it was hard as i love her so very very much she told me she was returning back to poland and she would tell me when she came back but as I have also to leave u.k and go to germany for film work and not return until 17th september this i feel is a long time to not know or see your supposed partner for and maybe i am at fault here but the film work as an extra for me is very important and could be good but i feel it is important to do this with a clear concience and not the great worry of your partners strange behaviour and so prior to leaving for germany I sent in an sms that i wanted to know what was going on as i did not feel it was fair to not tell me what was going on and that I would end our relationship if she did not meet me to explain as my head is being destroyed with the constant worry she did not reply & so i regretably went to her former home and asked the ex-boyfriend just what was going on ,I was told she no longer lived there (which of course i knew) but he did not want to speak to me and in my desperation i thought i should explain what had been going on & that she and i had been in a relationship for some 6 months and that i thought it was respectable albeit painfull for him to know this as IF they were together I did not want to be with his girl but he walked away and so I left only to receive an sms from her which simply said "goodbay" (aga if your reading this the correct spelling is>goodbye),it seems she does not want me and i only wanted her version as to why the trauma from why she moved and what was going on but it seems I will never know. :(

This has been my first relationship with a girl from a different country and to be honest I have missed out certain aspects of our brief relationship as I do not want to go into any personal details as you are reading this and you may be one of her family and so in respect i refrain from such details. But in short "I am so deeply hurt by this and as i pack for a trip which i am supposed to enjoy ,I leave with a very very heavy heart at losing a girl who meant the world to me and miss so much . I apologize if my topic is not a happy one but as an englishman I felt it was appropriate to place as my relationship wit a polish girl has given me much upset and worry and to be truthfull a doubt as to wether i would date again a girl from a different culture but sure not all are the same but scars are hard to fade when they cut to the bone.

Lastly aga" if you are reading this I am sorry we split and you will always remember you as the girl i loved so much but will miss you so very much and I try to understand that you fell out of love with me but I wish only happiness to you so take care angel. :/ jk