Love / moving to poland to be together is this the right decision? [67]

goodlady - you are either desperate after your divorce, you have been lonely for too long or you are truly in love and “blind”. Either way, you lost your mind, your pragmatic thinking. You ignore so many warning signs and just keep pushing yourself towards guaranteed disaster.

You are special to him only where you are right now. He finds you comforting when he is visiting you there in UK, far from all the people he knows, all the problems and responsibilities to financially care for others.

If you moved to Poland “permanently”, very shortly, you would find out that you are no longer special to him. He can find plenty there, especially in rural areas. Soon, it is going to turn into a disaster for you.

If you do not move to Poland, there is a slim chance that he would stay with you beyond occasional hook-ups lasting from few weeks to few months on his as needed basis when he is visiting there on his business ventures. Based on all the information you provided about his big family, dependent parents, X, kid, business, and so on, the likelihood that he could ever move to UK permanently to be with you is extremely low.

So my advice to you: “enjoy” him in UK while you can, but look elsewhere for any permanent guy. Is that so hard for you to find another good guy without the load of problems from the start?

Love / Tricky situation, should I refuse or accept? Forced to be an English teacher in Poland. [23]

“they let us stay with them in warsaw for a week when we first came, they made us great food” – that should be considered normal and expected from a Polish family in Poland, 1 week is not a big deal…

“they tried to get me work as an english teacher (and they did)” – help is always appreciated when you do not know the local market, but that should not be a very difficult thing to do, any candidate speaking fluent English or born in English speaking country could relatively easily start with a job like that

“they got us an apartment in the city center” – that’s nice but it is not something extraordinary, it should not be a very difficult task for a local person

1. If it is really close/immediate family, in general, it is better to refuse the money unless you and your girlfriend do not make much and need that income. Commonly, teachers do not make a lot in Poland. Since they helped you find the job, they may realize that you are not make a lot there and you could use this extra income – in that case, it is all right to accept it. However, in any big city, English teachers should make better than average (among teachers). On the other hand, you may not be a licensed teacher so that you are only allowed to teach adults in some private school, as a result, your wages may suffer a bit.

To decide whether the particular aunt is close enough to provide free lessons, it is up to your Polish girlfriend to answer. After all, it is “her” family. Ask her how she would feel about you giving these free lessons. If she is really close with them, she may support this idea. Typically, uncle/aunt are not close enough that you could not charge them some rate. But if you do, make sure the rate is at lower end but not unreasonable low where it would be too obvious. Never tell them directly that you are giving them any “discount” or mention the discount percentage or discount amount – that could be somewhat rude too. Just mention the (low) rate that you would happy to do lessons for.

The aunt and uncle may also realize you just moved in and need extra income to settle down. If that’s really the case, it is all right to accept some money for the lessons.

2. How can you fail to teach 13-year-old “some” English? If she takes English classes at her regular school, make sure you keep yourself current with what is going on in her regular English classes, verify she understand the subjects covered in her regular text-books before you go above and beyond into some other curriculum.

3. Yes, typically it would be rude to refuse unless you got some clever and undisputable excuse (e.g. no time due to the new born baby). Long work hours, problems with transportation (no car, no bus route, etc) or long travel times where such lessons could not be conducted in a reasonable, practical and safe time for 13-year-old could be a good excuse too, however, there is always a chance her parents would ask about doing lessons on weekends.

Love / My Polish boyfriend fancies are Pakistani neighbor. What do I do ? [291]

Like many, Poles fantasies about “forbidden fruit” or about what they could not “get” in their country. Exotic excites but it is usually short lived. Practically speaking, he obviously would not mind “doing her” over some period of time so that he could review the results with his group of Polish friends. That’s all is there.

If he still keeps any contacts with family or friends in Poland, there is near zero probability that there would be any lasting relationships between Polish guy and Pakistani girl no matter how pretty she may be at that very moment. The “pretty” part is not going to last in the long run. For the average guy, if he ever plans to go back to Poland, he may not be able to overcome social taboos there. In Poland, such relationship with Pakistani girl would be constantly tested; ultimately, it would become very fragile and likely result in quick break up or early divorce.

If he lives outside Poland permanently, keeps limited contact with his Polish friends and family, depending on the local acceptance of such relationships, there is a small chance something deeper may develop overtime; however, even then, it is still unlikely it would last because he might feel “isolated” so much.

Not sure if that makes you feel better or more secured now. It really should not. Besides, you said you had to beg (!) him to take you back – that gives you pretty small odds that you will have any lasting relationship with him too. Enjoy what you have with him while you have it, but do not plan too much stuff together into far future. It might save you some pains later.

Love / Polish men and Filipino women [73]

Do Polish guys like Filipino women? Yes although it is not very common to see such relationships, at least where I live now. But I knew one such happily married couple. She was a typical nurse from Philippines. He was a typical immigrant from Poland. He joined her few times traveling back to her Philippines to meet her family or for some other family events there, they did not have any arguments. Due to obvious relatively huge distances and language barriers between Poland and Philippines, I do not think that their immediate families ever met for any long period to be able to "screw up" their relationship. No in-laws close by, no problems.

Love / Who makes a good Polish wife? [75]

“Polish wife in Dubai” - it is not gonna happen. Even if she is some stupid bleach-blond country side peasant girl, totally unattractive or old, or simply is doing it for the money, she is not gonna put up with the pre-medieval life there for long. She may do it for few years, like a job. Polish women are capable to endure harsh lives, the communist regime taught that. But finnaly, it is gonna end in the divorce.

You cannot expect to hold an independent and free-spirited Polish woman happy in a cage for a long time, even if it is a “gold” cage like Dubai.

Love / Poking tongue out at a Polish girl - is it considered rude/offensive? [37]

"So when I got complimented by the boss,I stuck my tongue out at her,in a joking " Nana na nana" way." - simply retarded behavior.

General advice to any guy: do not stick your tongue out unless you really intend to lick something.