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Demands from Polish ex!


tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #1
Hi All,

I wonder if anyone here could give me some insight into this issue that just came up for me.

I lived with my Polish fiancee in Poznan in November 09 -end of January 2010, until I had to break up with her (I will get into those reasons another day).

Anyway, now it is almost the end of April, 4-6 months later she writes to me out of the blue saying that I owe her 500zl, because she got a fine for using too much water in her apartment while I was staying there!

Can you get a fine for using too much water in an apartment in Poland?? I have never heard of such a thing anywhere else in the world (and I have travelled to over 30 different countries, and lived for considerable amounts of time in 5 of them).

And, more to the point, is she just being vindictive by using this as a tool to try and get revenge on me and make me feel guilty?

For the record - I take very short showers... :)

Any advice would be appreciated.
irishlodz 1 | 135
21 Apr 2010  #2
you pay in advance for water and then pay/get refunded versus what you actually use. That's what happens in my apartment. Thing is I can't see how you could be near 1000pln over, maybe 100-200.
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #3
It makes no sense, does it? Of course, whenever I asked to see any bills (which I offered to pay in full at the time), they were never forthcoming (she used it to hold power over me I think).

So you believe she is either being dishonest or just plain vindictive?
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #4
Are you the owner of her apartment? No? Well, then you don't owe her jack. Just so you know.

:)
pgtx 29 | 3,159
21 Apr 2010  #5
So you believe she is either being dishonest or just plain vindictive?

just tell her that you will be more then happy to help and pay 1/2 but first you wish to see the bills...
That's how it works :)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #6
Arien you are obviously absolutely right, but if factual and logical arguments like that actually worked with this girl, I would have never left her in the first place :)

I am wondering what is going on though... if she is lying, or wanting me to feel guilty for leaving her, or for using her precious water... I don't know!

I should also mention that around half the time I wasn't even living in that apartment - I was only in that apartment for less than two months.

I considered demanding to see this mysterious 'fine', but at the moment I am just ignoring her.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
21 Apr 2010  #7
Anyway, now it is almost the end of April, 4-6 months later she writes to me out of the blue saying that I owe her 500zl, because she got a fine for using too much water in her apartment while I was staying there!

If she has only received this bill and you haven't lived there for the past how many months then it is not for you to worry about. Sounds like this for the last 6 months.

Sounds a bit like she needs a quick 500pln and though about this excuse to get it from you. I would tell her to send you a copy of the bill then take it from there. She is acting a little silly.

If you only stayed there for 2 months then there is no way you could use that much water. I think I paid about 400pln for a years worth of water and I take baths :P
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #8
Thanks pgxt - I might try that, even though it would be getting involved again with an annoyingly difficult person. Again, a very logical answer that would work perfectly with you or me, but not with her! :) I am sure she will be furious that I am accusing her of lying. Do I regret breaking up with her?? :)

Thank you also very much dtaylor... I knew something was fishy... it just makes no sense - if I rented my own room in a share house in Poznan it would have cost only 500zl per month in rent AND bills!

A fine for excess water usage? Unlikely story... I can't believe she would be so dishonest... I will ask to see the bill...
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #9
Arien you are obviously absolutely right, but if factual and logical arguments like that actually worked with this girl, I would have never left her in the first place :)

Well, you did leave her, and unfortunately for her that's the point where you don't have to take care of anything for her anymore. (Unless you have children.) So in this case, even if it was true, (Which it obviously isn't!) it's still going to be her problem, isn't it?

I am wondering what is going on though... if she is lying, or wanting me to feel guilty for leaving her, or for using her precious water... I don't know!

I need to be closer to her to be able to read her mind. (Sorry! It's all a wild guess for me!)

I should also mention that around half the time I wasn't even living in that apartment - I was only in that apartment for less than two months.

Well, there you have your answer.

I considered demanding to see this mysterious 'fine', but at the moment I am just ignoring her.

You know what I would do? I would smash my mobile phone to bits, and make it flat enough to actually fit into an envelope, and send it to her along with a card that reads: Did you get the message?
1jola 14 | 1,879
21 Apr 2010  #10
There no such fines. I know you're foreign but not an alien. Ignore it.
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #11
Thanks for the excellent (and humorous) advice Arien. Thankfully no kids are involved (I escaped that death trap).

Maybe at age 28 I am somewhat naive, but I can't believe that she, a sweet Polish girl, would be so dishonest like that.

I thought that breaking up with her would have spelt the end of being subjected to her horrible behaviour. Clearly it isn't...
pgtx 29 | 3,159
21 Apr 2010  #12
Maybe at age 28 I am somewhat naive, but I can't believe that she, a sweet Polish girl, would be so dishonest like that.

don't ask us to psychoanalyze the two of you and any advices about her and your relationship... we can be harsh, unpleasantly honest, and we can't stand whiners...

;)
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
21 Apr 2010  #13
we can't stand whiners...

The Texan girl's mission to stop all men whining continues eh! :D
pgtx 29 | 3,159
21 Apr 2010  #14
there is nothing worst then a guy with no balls...

;)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #15
Call it what you wish pgtx... I consider being in a state of disbelief rather different to whining... I can make another thread whining about it all if that is what you want so badly.... (which you obviously do!) ;)

And I won't ask, beg or plead, but please by all means feel free to unpleasantly psychoanalyse all you wish - I'm sure it would be a good laugh (this whole thing is a big joke to me anyway). ;))

I'm just trying to work out if it is genuine or not... and informed opinions on how to handle such people. :)

......and why do these conversations have to revert to the topic of my balls?? I'm talking about a water bill here...! ;)

And thank you very much Jola - I knew it sounded ridiculous.
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #16
Thanks for the excellent (and humorous) advice Arien. Thankfully no kids are involved (I escaped that death trap).

Hey, don't mention it, I'm sure you've heard better! (Phew!)

Maybe at age 28 I am somewhat naive, but I can't believe that she, a sweet Polish girl, would be so dishonest like that.

Well, I'm 29, and sometimes being naive isn't too bad! (It really does suck when you get hurt though!) I wouldn't want to be realistic and cold all the time, because that would feel pretty empty for me personally!

:)

I thought that breaking up with her would have spelt the end of being subjected to her horrible behaviour. Clearly it isn't...

You can smile about the times you've had a great time together, and forget about the rest? She could've been friendly and real with you after you two split up, but she obviously has chosen for a different approach. Again, that's her problem. Just cut all contacts between you and her if she keeps bothering you with her behaviour, and move on. Unless you think she's still the one for you? (I doubt it!)

:)
pgtx 29 | 3,159
21 Apr 2010  #17
I was joking (but yeah, we are good at the above stuff-if you would need US one day!)... relax and chill out, it's not a big deal if you play it right...

;)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #18
I know you were joking pgxt ... I could tell by the wink smiley ';)' haha

;)

And thanks again for the very good advice Arien. Maybe she is the girl for me... if she had electro-shock therapy to shock all the horrible out of her. :) In all seriousness though, I have dated girls from around the world, and I have never experienced horrible like I have from this Polish girl. I know, I know - not ALL Polish girls are like that, its bad to stereotype blablabla....
pgtx 29 | 3,159
21 Apr 2010  #19
I know you were joking pgxt ... I could tell by the wink smiley ';)' haha

you never know... people here are deadly serious sometimes...

I have dated girls from around the world

how did you manage to do that, huh?

I have never experienced horrible like I have from this Polish girl. I know, I know - not ALL Polish girls are like that, its bad to stereotype blablabla....

OK.... be very careful about word you want to use here about Polish girls/women... take it easy and do it smart....

;)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #20
Not me... I am laughing my head off over here :)

I have dated girls from around the world

I could tell you my secret, but that would spoil my fun...

I have never experienced horrible like I have from this Polish girl. I know, I know - not ALL Polish girls are like that, its bad to stereotype blablabla

I LOVE Polish women & girls. My mother is Polish, so I will never say bad things about ALL Polish women. This one Polish was particularly horrible, in a way I have never seen before.
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #21
I know, I know - not ALL Polish girls are like that, its bad to stereotype blablabla....

Well, good!

:)

how did you manage to do that, huh?

Try a city like Amsterdam.

;)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #22
I'm going in to bat for the defenceless Dutch girls here... my ex Dutch girlfriend from way back (not from Amsterdam) was much friendlier and sweeter than my Polish one. She never tried to dishonestly extort money out of me either.... :)
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #23
They're not defenseless, because I've tried to tell some blokes earlier that Dutch girls are awesome! (Just too tall for me in most cases!)

;)
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #24
I'm going in to bat for the defenceless Dutch girls here...

Sounds like you and I stand united on this point :)
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #25
I'm not exactly a short guy in the rest of the world though! (I remember needing a soap box to actually kiss the first girl I liked.)

:)
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
21 Apr 2010  #26
don't ask us to psychoanalyze the two of you and any advices about her and your relationship... we can be harsh, unpleasantly honest, and we can't stand whiners...

True.

If I were him, I'd text her and say yeah sure I'll give you the 500 and then a day later, text saying, hang on a minute my new girl friend said that there's no such fine.. :D give her hope and then drag the rug from under her :D Maybe she'll learn something from it?
OP tg123 1 | 13
21 Apr 2010  #27
Amathyst you are an evil genius. I like you already. If only I had your ingenuity when she was being so horrible to me in the relationship.

Fun times Arien. When being 6 foot tall is not enough...
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
21 Apr 2010  #28
Shelley, u are a mean b*tch!!!! :D
hairball 20 | 313
21 Apr 2010  #29
give her hope and then drag the rug from under her

The good old Northern solution!
Arien 3 | 721
21 Apr 2010  #30
I think it's cute, maybe I should post a new add somewhere.. ''Really awesome Dutch guy looking for a cold, rude, blunt, upfront, foul-mouthed, insensitive, practical, realistic, oversexed, suicidal, crazy, mentally disturbed, blonde, hardcore prn b*tch.''

;P

What do you girls think? Will I find her?


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