Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US

Ironside
Another one who has a complete warped view of the world and of women in particular.

Let's all refrain from ad personam attacks on PF-ers and focus on the subejct at hand, whatever it may be. In this case the basic question boils down to who wouild make a better wife: an unspoilt, God-fearing, hard-working young woman with a pro-family orientation (which does not mean she has no education or professional career) or a party girl 'po przejściach'*?

And I know life is not black or white. It could be that a single woman with kids migth be so grateful someone wnated to marry her that she'd turn into a loving, devoted wife. And conversely, some less than attractive old bachelor might likewise be so aprpeciative that a younger woman agreed to marry him that he'd treat herwell and her children as his own.

I agree there's a good chance a 50-year-old Polonian bachelor would quite likely attract golddiggers. But again, some young lady in a remote village might be so thrilled at the prospect of going to America that she might make a good wife. Or she might dump him for a more attractive partner once she got settled in.

*How do you say that in English: with baggage?

Is there really nothing in between? There are only either "unspoilt" and "God-fearing" maidens or drunken, middle-aged, unmarried / divorced witches saddled with a bunch of kids? That is simply pathetic.

I also really dislike the way you talk about "unspoilt" young women, as if having normal life experiences made a woman dirty. Why would a man over fifty want to marry a young woman? Obviously to take advantage of her inexperience, and probably to try and model her into his "ideal" wife. Good luck with that. It's frankly disgusting.

absolutely agree with everything Magdalena said. Why would any sane woman in her 20's want to marry a wrinkled, crotchety, old geezer with too much time on his hands and no social skills. creepy. I think perhaps mail order Russian brides may produce something better.

I tried to indicate diverse situations. Another might be an old stick-in-the-mud bachelor whose only diversion is the telly and might like a young live-wire wife to introduce him to fun things and places. I agree there is a broad gamut between a prayerful nun and a loose-living tart..

From what I can infer, I believe my questioner is looking for something closer to the former than the latter. Anyway I will tell him to watch out for golddiggers and maybe step back from such a big age differences. But the choice will be his. He is even toying with the prospect of a checking out Ukrainiania mail-order brides. Any PF-er had any expeirence wtih that arrangement?

I have the funny feeling that you are talking about yourselves all the time. Now he is moving into Ukrainian mail-order brides...So it has to be a wife-on-demand, because he cannot get a proper partner at home?

No, your question is where he can find such women. Answer: nowhere. Why would any young woman like to be a servant to an old guy?


Both are extreme abstract concepts. In fact people are in between. The basis mistake "your friend" is doing is having a type who he looks for. It'll be easier for him to hire a maid. Does he actually want to fall in love at all? If so, it'd be better for him if he at last started to see an individual person instead of a "kind" of a woman.


For sex?


...and having a better life, right? Then where's the difference between her and a gold-digger?


Again, what you imply is that the only thing your friend has to offer is an opportunity of living in a wealthy country, and the girl should be thankful, grateful and on her knees... Where's the love from the man's side? Is that a Christian approach?

Polonius, if you had a daughter aged 20 who wishes to marry a 50 years old good-Christian American, wouldn't you be upset? I can't think of any sane people who'd accept such marriage, except those who shamelessly wish their daughters to marry for money.


You still don't get it. It's your friend who should list what he has to offer, and I don't mean money, green card or estates. Is he carrying? Is he kind? Is he good? All you wrote so far make others think of him not well.


I've seen a full-lengh documentary and few parts of series about that. The guys were individuals of repulsive nature, women insincere.

Don't you really see anything wrong with your friend's attitude?

I still think he is talking about himself though.

I get all kinds of questions and do my level best to answer them or at least point the asker to someone who can help him or her. Some deal with adopting Polish orphans, PolAms retiring in Poland, where to find this or that product or souvenir, Polish surnames , heraldry and many other things. For instance a PolAm from Milwaukee heard Poland produces the world's smallest and chepest aeroplane so I looked it up and gave him the contact in Krosno.

Re this latest query, some of you have helped me to formulate my reply to him and thanks for that.

Exactly. He is looking for a product. A Polish girl under 30, virtuous, churchgoing. wholesome...not going out...wanting to move with a 50+ creep to the States...If this does not resemble a shopping list...it looks e-bay.

Sobieski, Polonius is not talking about himself. However, the man he is talking about sounds a bit of a twat.

Wow, it does sound like buying bread or meat xD
I know what "fresh" means in case of bread or meat, but what does it mean in case of a woman? Just curious lol


I wonder why... lol


I've seen a documentary too. One word comes to mind - creepy. One of the men even killed his "mail-order bride".

What is your problem? That dude gave it a long shot, probably in desperation. The good advice to him would be look closer to home and lower your exceptions, that helpful.

you are just love to hate and your post have not been helpful at all.
The problem is that the age is only a number and is not telling much about the guy. I could easily pass for a guy fifteen years my junior. Being a bachelor in his 50' is some indication and not very tempting,

If anything i feel sorry for the dude. I advice all women to be careful as he do seems to be creepy.

I think the guy, deep down, is either insecure or hates women. What's really sad is that it risks becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy: the only women likely to respond to him are looking for a passport or a generous divorce settlement (or both). Having experienced such treatment, he's likely to hate women even more. Most tragic of all is the thought that he may have been hurt before, and it is this that is leading him to his particular search requirements, the nature of which will drive away decent, self-respecting, intelligent women who could genuinely love him and turn him away from this bitterness.

You may well be right, but I am neither a priest nor a shrink nor the owner of a matrimonial agency. I try to answer such questioners , honestly, tersely and to the point, not psychonanalyse them. But thanks for your input.

Polonius3

Ask your skanky mate why it is more likely that he will find a 'virtuous, maidenly young girl' in Poland, than in any other country????

There are countries where the virginity of a girl is very closely guarded and loss of virginity can be punishable by death but Poland isn't one of them.

Polish girls are no more likely to be 'pure,virtuous or maidenly than most girls in the world, your mate's attitude is insulting to Non Polish women!

There are areas within Europe which have strict Muslim communities, where girls are forced to hold on to their virginity until marriage, but they are few and far between and your mate would not be accepted as suitor for any of the girls in these areas!!

Also, tell me why any women should be grateful to a man? Just because a woman has children doesn't mean she should be grateful to a man who marries her, she might be doing him a favour! People may be happy they have found a great partner but grateful?? learn what life is about mate!

Your mate might want kids, so what? I'd like the Nobel prize for Physics but 6 kids and a teaching career meant I didn't put the research time in! no Nobel prize, your mate didn't find someone, tough, no kids!

If this mate of yours wants to meet a religious girl, he can go to church!! No, your mate wants 'Virgin Barbie' not a real person

Really Iron???? I would have expected more from you.


Thank YOU LENKA +10


AGREE

Now personally I find this WHOLE post completely Degrading to be a women. I'm sorry he makes $50,000 HAHA big whoop buddy, that's nothing, and trying to go abroad to find a wife. What he can't try findawife.org??? Clearly your friend is shallow and must have no life. But expecting a women to just wait hand and foot on him, exactly why does he deserve this??? What happened to the rights women have gained??? It was too stop people like you too just expect a woman's life to revolve around a man. Welcome to the 21st century. Also american women throwing food in the microwave??? Have you met American women, i'm pretty sure almost all know how to cook meals, but I sure as hell hope that I will never even have to meet a man like that, I will not waste my life being a servant to my husband.

dam right mocha !!

what wrong with caring for a husband?

Let give a floor to married women here, so far only one of the kind has spoken.

It all depends how one defines 'normal expeirences'. If it means sleeping around, that sure as hell doesn't make her 'pure'.

Do you equate having any sexual experience at all with "sleeping around"?

The terms purity, chastity and innocence are universally understood. Whether they are abided by is another matter.
A bride who does not bring her 'wianek' (innocence) to the marriage bed is second hand. It can be called anything one likes: experience, experimenting, living together, shacking up, cohabitation, trial marriage, living in sin, premarital sex, etc., but that does not change the defintion of innocence.

Some of us don't need to worry that we don't measure up to any of the previous lovers a woman has had.

so really, is there any question as to why this "friend" is not married? With opinions such as this you might as well tell him to enjoy being a bachelor because I can't imagine any woman with a pulse would want to be with somebody like that. On second thought, perhaps a plastic blow up doll is more suitable. She doesn't talk back and she has no opinions. Perfect.

He's not a friend but a total stranger who asked me about this. He claims never to have been married so I took that at face value. To the best of my ability I have responded using some of the good advice provided by PF-ers. Who knows, he may be lying. He may be in his 30s, make $300,000 a year and look like Deląg, Kammel , Adamczyk or Żebrowski. I am not the FBI or CIA and do not plan to penetrate the guy's past or present.

he sounds creepy...

let him use a real matchmaker if he wants an unknown quantity with merits only claimed.
Bet he "doesn't mind" if she cant speak English too > : (
Sounds like he wants a closet wife
(the kind you take out of other cultures of difficult language so they cant speak to the neighbor women and learn their rights)but doesnt want the normal "mail order" ethnic varieties.

He can find an "unsullied girl " in the midwest EVEN in these times. Or Start going to church more if he is looking for such. Wholesome girls are still grown everywhere, though better luck in in Wyoming, the Dakotas, Iowa rural, Kansas rural, Idaho rural.

Old fashioned traditional like I am considered are tougher each generation.

Though I am pretty sure Polish girls of last couple generations are western enough, in sizeable number, to have bypassed good cooking and household learing for education and continental tastes. >_<

LOL..military wives are notorius for letting these girls know their rights, how to keep visas if they had kids..how easy divorce is if he is a tool...and how to SHOP to DEBT!!!Woot! dadadaDADaaaa! Charge It! But most American women wil school a girl that can speak even halting english if she is not kept helpless and shy.

Nope..him having so many special order chracteristics to his "match" just makes him pervy, creepy and probably a controller. YUK

Oh and he wants that huge age difference on purpose... more kinda sleazy intent projected.
Oh and he asked a very light acquaintance on methods to pursue his agenda...Sleazy rating just uped by 20%. Again..YUK

Alright Iron give me 10 years, and I'll come back and answer this again.... :P


I don't think that someone who has slept before her marriage has long innocence. I mean its hard to find girls like this, I surely don't know many. I just think times are changing and with all the pressure out their I understand why someone would not wait until marriage to have sex. I think sleeping with random guys every night isn't smart but I don't think sleeping with a boyfriend after dating them for 2 years is losing your innocence. On that note how many guys are still even Innocent??????

Pip, I've said it before, but I'll say it again: the man referred to in the first post is certainly not Polonius.

And does that apply to men as well? If not - then why not?

because men are better than that.
The can have a relationship with hundreds of women in a row and would be less affected that a woman after ten relationships.