Love / Why are Polish girls so confusing? [30]

@ f stop, I love it :-). I think it's pretty much a universal characteristic of women to want to be desired. And to respect and desire a man who shows himself to be above such tactics :-). Trouble is, Polish women are typically so much more desirable that we men find it much harder to resist their charms...

Love / Why are Polish girls so confusing? [30]

@ Sankarin, firstly I think what you experienced could happen with girls of any nationality; secondly, I suspect you may have relatively little experience with women for a 23 year-old.

Had you some more you would realise that there are many reasons why a woman agrees to a date. She may be lonely and in a foreign land and keen for company and a change from the four walls that surround her when she goes back to a rented room at night. She may have a boyfriend she wants to stay loyal to, but yearns for supportive male friendship (without pressure for it to lead to more). She may be single and keen to get into a new relationship, but may have been used before by men who come across as loving her but really just want to seduce her. She may not have had that experience herself, but may have friends who've talked about guys from Latin countries behaving in that way - a stereotype, I know, but perhaps one with some underlying truth to it. She may be thinking about how her life is unfolding and is looking for 'the one', a man she will marry and have children with. Or she could be desperate for hot sex without commitment.

Any of these possibilities exists every time you ask a woman out. The trick is to listen to her and understand her and endeavour to work out which is the case. If she wants something different to you, thank her for the date and move on. If you have common ground and you both enjoyed it, ask her again.

In the situation you described, I think you probably misjudged it and by 'going for the kiss' you took her aback. It may be that she feels differently about you than you do about her, or that she sensed you only went for the kiss because you felt you deserved it for taking her out or because you hoped it would lead to something else. So you may be out of luck, or perhaps you just took things too fast. As with most aspects of human relationships, I think the best solution is to talk. Ask for a coffee, apologise for jumping the gun, ask her how she feels, tell her the truth about what you feel, rather than what you think will sound best to her (women are better at this stuff than us, generally).

Good luck :-)

Love / Rejected - Rafal thought I was ugly? [85]

Uglywoman, you seem to think if a man doesn't want to date you, it means he thinks you are ugly. We men are not attracted to women just for their looks. It is possible to find someone physically attractive but to dislike them for other reasons or to like them and just not find a romantic connection.

In the past few days you've revealed that you stabbed an ex boyfriend and stole some cosmetics. I think you're quite pretty, but I would never date a girl who'd done the things you've admitted to having done. I think many men would say the same. Apologies, but the term 'bunny boiler' comes to mind. Sorry to be so blunt but I'd recommend spending less time worrying about how you look and more thinking how you could be a loveable, kind person that a good man (as opposed to an ex-criminal living in a hostel) would want to share his life with.

Love / Rejected - Rafal thought I was ugly? [85]

@ f stop, I agree - no amount of beauty can compensate for the risk of getting stabbed...

Love / Rejected - Rafal thought I was ugly? [85]

Ugly woman, you need a new username. You're not ugly, you're beautiful. You had the misfortune to encounter a strange man who does not seem to know what he wants. Plenty of other men would consider themselves honoured to be dating you.

Love / Rejected - Rafal thought I was ugly? [85]

@ the OP, I'm not quite sure where to start regarding this man, except perhaps to say that he does not come across as the best partner material, so don't worry about what happened.

As for being ugly, I'm sure you're not, but if you want reassurance why not post your photo here?

Love / Polish girls attitudes towards sex. [568]


Being British myself I do not see either the Daily Mail (lower middle class Little Englanders) nor the Guardian (metropolitan liberals) as purveyors of the unvarnished truth about my country. In fact I would argue they are polar opposites, especially on a subject such as immigration.

There was recently a good piece in The Economist that argued that British people dislike immigration but quite like most individual immigrants. Stereotypically, we think of Polish people as hard-working, honest and family-minded. Britons' main objection to mass immigration from Poland is that these very virtues make Polish immigrants more attractive to employers than British chavs, giving the latter an excuse not to work and instead to spend their lives eating cheap food from Iceland and watching giant TVs from Argos, funded by the taxes contributed to those of us who have to work. Which summary probably indicates that most of us are closer to the Daily Mail world view than the Guardian one.

Love / Polish girls attitudes towards sex. [568]


'Self-rape'? FFS! That's a terrible thing to say to any girl or woman. Surely no sexual act is less like rape than female masturbation. It's an activity that says that a woman's sexuality belongs to her, and not to a man, and it carries zero risk of STDs or unwanted pregnancy. If the RC church is really concerned with the wellbeing of its flock and avoiding promiscuity it would encourage girls and women to masturbate and not create the crazy situation described by my friend where a woman gets horny and calls her boyfriend because she thinks it's disgusting to please herself.

Also, AFAIK the Bible says that male masturbation is immoral (the story of Onan, in Genesis), but it says nothing against the female version. So the church is just trying to repress women, not spread the word of God.

Love / Polish girls attitudes towards sex. [568]

Merged: Polish women and attitudes to sexuality

A friend of mine recently broke up from a year-long relationship with a Polish girl. He says he is glad to be out of it because of what he describes as her 'sexual hang-ups' and is advising others around him (he's British, living in the UK) not to date Polish women, because of what he experienced. I suspect his ex was not typical, so would be interested to hear from people here whether or not he's right.

The basic problem as he describes it is that his ex had been brought up to believe that female masturbation is absolutely, horrifically immoral and must never be done. That would be fair enough, except that it was combined with a high sex drive and a belief that it was his job to meet her sexual needs, whenever they arose. So she would call him up saying she was horny and ask him to come round and sort her out. Even if he didn't feel like it, or had other things he needed to do (such as working or sleeping).

It's not as if she was a devout Catholic, because she had sex with him and had been with other men before, despite being unmarried. He says she just believed that women shouldn't touch themselves sexually, I think because she saw it as men's job to please women and a sign of failure if a woman does it herself.

When he first told me I thought he was mad, because my experience of Polish women is that they are quite feminist-minded and self reliant, which would fit with having no reservations about masturbation. But I also remember reading here some comments saying that Polish girls are less likely to be single than say British ones, to the extent that they will steal other women's men if needs be. I half wondered whether that might be partly because of the thought that a woman should have a man and should not satisfy herself.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman not wanting to masturbate, but if it's in the culture of at least some Polish women, it would be useful to know about it.

News / Ania Lisewska, Polish Woman, Wants To Have Sex With 100,000 Men for Guinness World Records. [55]

I'm guessing she's trying to get men to sign up to her website or Facebook page thinking they're n with a chance, with the idea of selling their information or setting up a dating site or something or that sort. As others have pointed out, the feat she is supposedly embarking on is near enough unachievable.

Love / ARE POLISH GIRLS GOLD-DIGGERS? [359]


Baiting, I suspect...

Life / Why Polish people are fat ? [81]

I'm sure I've read that Poland has the lowest level of obesity in the EU. It may be increasing, but that's probably true of other countries too (I know it is for the UK).

Here in Britain some research was published recently showing that despite rising obesity we actually eat fewer calories and less fat than we did in the 1970s. The problem is that we exercise a lot less - we drive everywhere instead of walking or cycling, and we're much less likely to do manual work. I'm guessing trends for Poland are similar.

Love / How to find a Polish girl for marriage? [22]

@ MH1, you say you have black gold under your feet. So are you an Arab? Or perhaps someone from o e of the areas of the UK likely to have shale oil deposits?

Your attitude to women leads me to wonder whether you might find it hard to convince a Polish woman to provide you with the 2-3 kids you seek by the age of 35. It's not that Polish women are 'very demanding' but rather that women from countries that allow women to get educated and work tend not to be attracted to men who select a nationality of bride on the grounds of their level of demands or expectations.

Life / Masculinist movement needed in Poland? [26]

@ Harry, why would 'we' (meaning men?) stop women from masturbating or having sexual thoughts? Surely the days of men trying to suppress female sexuality are long gone (at least in Europe). And in any case, what is the pont? Female sexuality is surely one of the best things in life, much enjoyed by women and men alike.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

Polonius' notion of Polish women comes from the history books. Today, Polish women are going to university in greater numbers than men, are economically and sexually independent and will love a man only if he loves and appreciates her for these qualities. Maybe that's why he despises feminism so much? He blames it for turning those dependent women into people who can choose who to be with.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

Polonius wrote: "Are you saying only slightly used, second and third-hand females exist and you are revolted by anyone who doesn't fancy one?"

Your use of the words "used" and "second and third-hand" suggest you think of women as possessions, not sentient, independent human beings.

As for your rhetorical question, I'll tell you what truly revolts me, and that is a man who would fancy a woman because she's a virgin, and by implication not fancy her if she wasn't one. It suggests you have a fetish about female sexual inexperience, which is a small step from paedophilia, or perhaps a symptom of sexual insecurity or selfishness (a virgin cannot compare you to her former partners and find you wanting).

Female sexuality is a wonderful thing, and brings enormous pleasure to a normal, unselfish man. It's not wholesome to fetishise women who subjugate their sex drives to measure up to standards set by men who, almost without exception, would never think to impose the same rules on themselves.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

Marynka11 wrote that: 'A guy who want a a woman to be virgin does not grasp the idea that women have sexual needs themselves. For him a woman is a possession acquired in order to cook for him, clean his house and take care of his dick'

F Stop wrote: 'The moral of this story is that finding them might be easy. Keeping them, and keeping them happy, is the real challenge'

I think it's no coincidence that these wise words come from women, rather than men. A rather stupid, selfish man might be tempted to look for a woman he thinks can look after his needs, without thinking about hers. Result? She becomes sexually frustrated, unloved, undervalued and lonely, so leaves him. As a result he becomes still more mysogenistic, so goes out looking for another trophy wife, rather than seeking an equal relationship with a true soulmate. Very sad.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

@ Sparks11, I think one of the things that makes a relationship work is shared values. Myself, I prefer sex to be within an established relationship. But love is an amazing and bizarre thing so I can imagine falling for someone who was a virgin, or who'd had recreational sex many times without being in a relationship. However, I can understand that there are people who are more driven by their morality or religion than I am, who might insist for example on marrying someone who hadn't had sex before - it's just that I'd expect they would also be virgins themselves. Otherwise it's the height of hypocrisy. That's why I can't have anything other than contempt for the man described by Polonius.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

Why would a man want his wife to be a virgin on their wedding night, anyway?

I ask for three reasons. First, would he not want to have sex with her himself before marriage? They might discover that they like different things sexually or were otherwise incompatible. And if not, they could enjoy closeness and intimacy together while getting to know one another better, then while waiting for their wedding day. Sex should be an enjoyable way for two people wh love each other to bond. Why deprive yourself and the person you love of that?

Second, those who favour physical virginity - an intact hymen - seem to want women to bleed on their wedding nights. That sounds like it could be a painful and somewhat scary experience for an inexperienced young woman. What kind of a man would want his wife's first experience of married life to be like that?

Third, wouldn't a man want to share his life with a woman who has a healthy sex drive, as opposed to someone who has suppressed her sexuality because she thinks there's something 'dirty' about it? OK, I know there are many ways that a man can please a woman, or a woman can please herself, that don't involve losing her physical virginity, and from a male perspective these are more enjoyable than straightforward vaginal sex, but a man would surely prefer his wife to enjoy that aspect of sexuality at least occasionally.

I'm not suggesting that I believe in casual sex or promiscuity - I think sex should be for people in established relationships who love one another. But think this standard should be applied equally to men and women, and I think it's crazy that a man should expect physical virginity from an adult woman. It could easily lead to unhappiness for both of them.

Love / Fresh, wholesome country lass in Poland - getting married and going back to the US [167]

I think the guy, deep down, is either insecure or hates women. What's really sad is that it risks becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy: the only women likely to respond to him are looking for a passport or a generous divorce settlement (or both). Having experienced such treatment, he's likely to hate women even more. Most tragic of all is the thought that he may have been hurt before, and it is this that is leading him to his particular search requirements, the nature of which will drive away decent, self-respecting, intelligent women who could genuinely love him and turn him away from this bitterness.

News / Poland marching for life and family [132]

Marching to celebrate happy, nuclear families is a good thing, provided it doesn't imply condemnation of other family, household or relationship types.

News / Krystyna Pawłowicz and the 'marsz szmata' (slut walk) [52]


I'll hold her down while you give her a good smacking.

Some deeply offensive comments from a narrow-minded woman who's a disgrace to her gender.

Love / My little confession hehe - I always thought polish women were ugly [57]

BigDundeeDave, I think the Polish women you've met may not be typical of their country as a whole. Maybe it's because you're in Dundee :-)?

Seriously, the Polish girls I've met, here in the UK and in Poland, have been naturally beautiful - pretty faces, little or no makeup, natural body shape (not underweight or artificially enhanced). They've also been independent - degree educated, not willing to pander to men or accept poor treatment.

People of any nationality vary a lot of course, but on average I'd say Polish women are better looking and easier to love than British ones.

Love / My reaction to a thread against foreigners marrying Polish girls [37]

Being British, and attracted to Polish women, you won't be surprised to say I think cross-cultural relationships and marriage are good :-). And since we're also in the UN, there could never be any suggestion that either of us would be in it for green card reasons :-)

Love / ACCEPTABLE modest wear for Polish women? [49]

@ the OP, the best way to fit in with a foreign society is to honour its traditions and customs. Polish women are not expected to over their faces and hair. They are not second-class citizens and nor are men treated as animals who cannot control themselves if they see a woman's face or hair. So one option might be for your fiancée to wear a normal fitted top and a skirt or jeans.

If, however, she chooses to maintain her Muslim dress code in a European Christian country, so be it. But it would be wise to reflect on the fact that a Polish woman who travels to, say, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan or Afghanistan cannot dress as she would at home, as Islam is not yet at the point in its evolution at which it tolerates contradictory views or behaviour.

Love / Why a polish girl would prefer a relationship with a foreign man? [30]

Some people think mixed-nationality marriages can be good for bringing up children - they get to learn from and appreciate two cultures.

Love / Woman 23, man 47 years old. What do you think about ? [162]

Well I'm 44, and while I know the chances of me attracting a 23 year-old are small (especially as I really want a Polish one...) I'd like to date a younger woman. It's not because I'm shallow, it's that I'd like to have kids and I think if I could find someone in her early 30s or so the chances are a lot higher.

Love / Marriage with a polish woman - Heaven or Forever Hell ? [60]

What's the plural of polka? I thought it was also polka...?

Love / Marriage with a polish woman - Heaven or Forever Hell ? [60]


I'm not married to a Polish woman (unfortunately), though I'd like to be.

It's my experience that Polka are kind, loving, honourable people who would make amazing spouses. But then, I've met only a handful so am basing my observations on a small sample. It may be that others here who've had less positive experiences are falling into the same trap, only worse.

Love / Observations and experiences so far about Polish women [93]

Natasia wrote: 'So you could, I suppose, translate that into they are man-grabbing, possessive, traditional, opinionated, narrow-minded, frigid mini-matriarchs (if we are talking about the ones in their 20s) ... but would that be fair, I wonder?'

That's a very negative picture. A more positive way of looking at things would be to say that Polish women link love and sex more closely than, say, their British counterparts, that they are strong-minded (but also good home-makers) and that, far from being frigid, they expect lovemaking to be about receiving as well as giving.

On that basis, I think Polish women are very special, actually :-)