Off-Topic /
PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]
You're not rich, are you?
All things are relative but in most people's eyes I probably am. If it makes you feel any better I do not have an enormous appendage though
It was either this or review yet another legal documentWell it’s not so much Pan Pie as Humble Pie. Having broadcast the intention never to write this column ever again the team have had a few pints of Guinness, won some cash on the US Open and decided to put the fingers to the keyboard again. To be honest there have been some absolutely cracking threads this last week or so. So much so that we could not resist knocking out a quick Edition for our adoring reader (
Ed – didn’t get the other job then boys? No big surprise).
It has been a long time since we followed the old Omnibus Edition format where we cast a bemused eye over proceedings on PF and brought you a succinct summary of recent posting. Mainly we ran out of base materials for a while there. How many times can you recycle the same old vitriol, ill informed ranting and desperate appeals for Polish Princesses from a world where the male female balance has obviously been distorted to a great extent. (
Ed – yeh not like Nottingham in the good old days eh Szar?) Now though the winds of change have blown through the dusty streets of PF. A fresh wave of interesting new copy has emerged. Intrigue abounds. An interesting assortment of new blood is on view – some wise, some witty, some plainly deranged and some well, just sensible. We still fret over the loss of some of the old crew. Has anybody ever come close to the word smithing of Huegel, has anybody replaced the delights of Krysia’s cartoons? Who can come close to the Might Svengoolie’s poetry, at once sublime, powerful and obviously great at impressing the chicks (
Ed unlike yours then Szar). But we digress, wallowing in self pity and yearning for a world that can never be the same again, where there is a reason for watching the footie on the box. We must move forwards with optimism and belief that the world can be a better place, a world where Stevie Gerrard can once again grace our screens. Therefore, without further ado, we are proud to re-launch the Omnibus. <
insert smiley here. Oh and a plug in fanfare midi file would be good too Admin>The longest text since War & PeaceLadies and Gentlemen we present to you the one, the only, the incomparable Fireif. It’s hard to distil the best part of a thousand posts but here goes for nothing. Fireif fancies someone called Anna who he sees at work. However, Anna got funny when she saw someone hanging around and Fireif got nervous about this. Now Fireif fancies Anna something rotten and texts her at least 50 times a day. Officially this is not stalking as texting is unobtrusive communication, unless of course your phone makes a farting noise for it’s SMS notification. Sometimes Anna replies but she has got the impression from talking to Fireif’s ex (not sure if this is his ex GF or his ex mobile phone) that Fireif may be a bit of a cad. Now Fireif denies this but has not managed to convey this to the lovely Anna. Things got more confused still when JustysiaS claimed that she knew Anna at which point Fireif went pale, proposed to JustyisaS but out of force of habit sent it to Anna instead. At this stage we don’t believe that he has yet spoken to Anna but has received loads of advice from members on how to woo the girl of his dreams. If this sounds confusing then read the whole thread. Best get a bottle or two of good red wine in first though.
Matthew Webb – the first man to swim the English Channel
Howard Webb – the first referee to be attached to a boulder and dropped in it,
Yes, of course you know what we’re talking about. Poland finished bottom of their group in Euro2008. They were sunk by the actions of the idiot Webb who gave Austria a penalty. This then deflated the brave Polska boys so much that they went out and lost to Croatia’s reserve team. Thinking about it, knowing that they had Webb as a referee in their next match probably distracted them against Germany too. So it’s official - it’s all the fault of that English twat. This semed to be the conclusion of Mr Tusk who wanted to kill said twat. Join the queue Mr President.
Just a thought but did anybody check the passports of the Polish team? I think you had a bricklaying team from Poznan by mistake.
What Polska needs, according to Missewa, is a young dynamic manager who is Polish and who can inspire your football players to play with attacking flair and passion. If by any chance Peter is not interested, why not approach the unemployed Steve McClaren. Proven track record of failure at club and international level, a ready book of excuses at hand and the inability to communicate with the Press even in his native language. At least he would be cheap.
It was nice to see the sense of National optimism shining through though. No sooner had the referee blown the whistle at the end of the Croatia game, Polanglik started a thread on qualifying for the World Cup 2010. No wallowing in despair for him. Onwards and upwards. What good is winning anything when Brazil weren’t there.
Blown to Kingdom ComeSomeone popped by to tell us that his Polish GF had gone from a chaste young thing to a wild thing who constantly talks about sex on the phone and threatens to make unreasonable demands upon his toned Brazilian body. The basic reaction from all of us seems to be that he is a lucky bastard and why is he spending time posting on here. Get on the plane now mate. Sod the expense.
(Ed - the reference to blown is a bit near the mark Szar)I’ve been a wildrover for many a year, and I’ve spent all my money on my HarleyPredictable titling we know but the creative juices are drying up. Looks like Wildrover’s fortunes have made a turn for the better. He has failed to woo the nice lady down the road at the office and he wasted a trip to meet some Ukranian lady and got very wet in the process. But wait for it – he has found a new young lady via these very pages and he’s got a new job. Just hope he still finds time to post his wisdom on here in the future. Nice one Rover, nice one son, nice one Rover, let’s have another one. Don’t mind if we do – three pints of Guinness please.
Well got to go now as Pie has to review that frigging document. See you all again soon.
