Donkey visits Poland

1. Donkey boards Lot airlines plane at Heathrow to raised eyebrows from the cabin crew as they see what hooves can do to the carpet.

2. Donkey struggles to find luggage. Has to ask. Finds it.

3. Donkey whisked away by car guided by sat-nav system that immediately gets us lost within a stone's throw from Warsaw's Frank Chopin airport.

4. Donkey passes his cold on to an entire family, drinks all their spirits, eats all their food and goes home again.

Use your imagination and those could be photo captions. Unfortunately, I kept forgetting to take my camera with me when anything interesting happened. There is more to it than that. Far more.

Any questions from the floor?

bad Donkey.

And when will Donkey post pictures? Preferably the incriminating ones....

I had been drinking heavily the night before departure. I thought it was just a really massive hangover mixed with the horror of Heathrow and so on that was making me feel awful. By the time I arrived in £omża, it was obvious I had a cold, so they sat me next to the fire, gave me extra clothes and tissues. Thankfully they still let me drink a bit.

Actually there was a kind of battle going on. One party was trying to look after me by only giving me tea, the other trying to look after me by sneaking me glasses of vodka when the other wasn't looking.


I gave them a bottle of whisky as a gift. It didn't last long, but I think vodka would have disappeared much more quickly. The extra gift of a pair of garden secateurs will last longer.

was this your family? Now we know where you get the bad boy behavior from.

No. One is a former work colleague who abducted me last year after he discover my soft spot for Polish food and, more importantly, Polish drink. They liked me enough (or they're mad enough) to invite me back.

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  View from car park, Bialystok
  
• 
  A stretch of residential street, Lomza
  

Osiol, some pictures please! It sounds like a great visit regardless of cold :)
I'm sure the "sneaked" medicine helped more than the tea (with lemon and honey?)
Who is the family you're talking about? Feel free to dwell.

I like to think it helped. I started to feel better quite quickly.

Okay, so they live in a house that's very nice, has a kitchen I am supremely envious of, and a lovely log fire.
There are Darek who I got to know from work, his father, his wife, their two sons, two dogs, and quite often the girlfriend of one of the sons. Despite how many of them there are, there's a lot of space, even when one of the dogs is quite big.


The kind of tea you get in Poland is best with lemon. I prefer it unsweetened, but honey does work much better. I drank more coffee than tea. Black, no sugar, but with a pinch of salt and a thick layer of sediment at the bottom.

I'm just trying to work out how I can get the clips I took by pointing my camera out of the window of a moving car onto youtube. A blurred bit of Polish countryside zooming past somehow works better than blurred stills of drunk people eating a big dinner.

It looks like you did not stay long. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Next time go in the summer, so you can see more of the outdoor scenery. You know, get in the tourist mode.

Well, it's gotta be a big enough house to have all the people there and stiil comfortable. Nice.
Did the dog like donkey?

I went last summer for a week, then this time again for a week, so I've seen two sides of the place. I'll need to see it in spring and autumn next. Actually next time I'd like to visit another part of Poland. I've never been to the south, only Warsaw and Lomza (and very briefly, Białystok, that looked like it had some interesting buildings).


Big dog liked donkey.
Little dog bit donkey.

gdańsk, kraków, zakopane. do it! :)

I didn't mention that I had my hair cut while I was there. I should have asked someone to take a couple of pictures of me shrugging my shoulders in answer to the questions the lady with the scissors was giving me. I don't know enough Polish, not even enough to know how to ask for my not particularly idiosyncratic haircut.

You meant "hairs", right ?...donkeys don't have hair...
Okay, i'm sorry...

;)

Mane.

Did you do anything special for Sylwester?

lol. There is something about the little yappers, can't trust them.

Did she trim your mane ok after all?

There were a couple of other guests there for the evening. They forced me into a suit, including tie and waistcoat (my psychedelic shirts are obviously too psychedelic). We ate load and loads of good food (I can't remember what it all was, but I do remember bigos, eel, herring, spare ribs, and these sort of pastry things tied up in bags). There was vodka, vodka and more vodka, then (fatefully) champagne at midnight.

I had bought a couple of fireworks which we set off outside. It wann't me who bought the bangers, and it certainly wasn't me who threw one into the road moments before one of those lovely police cars passed.


Keep at arm's length. Apparently it doesn't like to smell alcohol on the breath. That's why it bit my face!


Best haircut I've had in years. But then, I usually get my hair cut by work colleagues or even by myself, so it was bound to be an imrovement. She was the best looking person to have cut my hair... ever, probably.

would that have been the vodka in the coffee :)

Sounds like you had a great time. I was hoping you'd start a thread on donkeys visit to Poland :-)

Donkey should be happy that they didn't turne him into salami.

Glad donkey had a great time - maybe i'll go visit england next year by old motorbike with side car. I'll drive - hubby's eyes are not well. He will sit in the side car with muf on his lap. We'll all have these old motorbike goggles and caps on that you see in old black-an-white films, and muf's ears will flap so much that hubby can't see at all. When we come back, I'll write a floppy-ear-motorbike-holiday thread. In the meantime enjoy yours donkey - it's fun to read.

Is that what an excess of vodka can do to a donkey?


Even ones that fit a dog. Wallis & Gromit come to mind.


But I'm sure I've missed out some of the interesting bits that I might have mentioned in one or two PMs to people. Then again, some of those things are not really for the general public.

I expect the vodka would have an anaesthetic effect as they boiled your inside, smoked it and then sliced you up as salami (poetic licence here because I don't know how salami is made) anyway, I thought salami was either German or Italian.........lol. <g>

At least you wouldn't have to worry about having your mane cut again hahaha !


Awwww that's a shame if it was really interesting <s>

More of a shame if I just made up the idea that some really exciting stuff happened that would be too much for all to read about. But luckily, I don't need to make anything up. Interesting things in life just seem to appear before me.

Actually, I was probably referring to one or two of the ladies I have met over there.

Wow, you are lucky then. So what are female donkeys called then <joke> lol.

Will you be needing a relationship problem thread in a few months time ? Or some sweet nothings being translated into Polish ?

Just wondering am not really nosey <g>

:)

Either I'm lucky or I just find losts of very plain things more interesting than most people.
Jenny is the word for the female donkey (oślica).


I am considering taking up some correspondence. I need something to spur me on to learn some Polish for a change, but some things I ought to work on on my own.


Unaware of what <g> means, I shall assume that you are a bit nosey, but just very polite about it!

<g> means 'grin' I smile and grin and laugh a lot so I tend to put it into my posts to show you what I am thinking.....simple as that. but then I am a simple soul (well sometimes I am ).

I'm not nosey just have a lively enquiring mind :)


Oh hope it goes well for you. Good luck with it.


I wonder whether donkeys know how to avoid four leaved clovers when they are munching grass or hay in a field lol......<joke>

Osiolek, I'm counting on more details from your trip. Please keep this thread alive.
:)

I'll probably remember more stuff and put it here over the next couple of days.

It was my last trip to the same place at the end of June last year that was the real eye-opener for me, and it was actually a more exciting holiday. But that's to be expected with the benefits of more daylight hours, nice weather and no cold virus to get in the way of the fun.

Osioł's Previous Adventure Part 1
Not in chronological order

We finally crossed the border into Poland having queued up for three quarters of an hour or so. I had pointed out of the car window. 'What is that?' I asked, anticipating hearing the name of the river that forms that part of the German border.

'It's a river.'
Thank you very much, guys.

Anyway, we'd driven a long way across Europe, pretty much trouble-free. We enter Poland - we enter a traffic jam. So Grzegorz the driver decided to take a short cut, straight into a smaller traffic jam. But within half an hour or so we were in a village with cobbled streets. The buildings - they looked so... Polish! One of those things it's hard to explain to those who don't know. We stopped and asked for directions.

The lady had a way of gesticulating to almost paint a picture for her description of how to get to... I understood a few words, but enjoyed the intonation of her voice and the fact that I was not expected to understand a word of it. All I had to do was sit on the back seat and guard (ie. not drink all of) the vodka.

We waited at a railway crossing - one that actually had barriers and a little buzzer to inform drivers that a train really was going to pass. By now the sun was beginning to go down and the hue of the sunlight catching the trees and the fence by the road made me feel warm. Or was that the vodka. You need vodka to cope with being a passenger in a car driving all the way across Germany.

Later that evening, I woke up to the sound of the engine juddering to a halt. We were stopping for beer and sausages. That should really be piwo i kiełbase. Three blonde waitresses, almost identical triplets served up the delicious food. I had been warned to expect something to do with pretty women and nice women, but life is always so much more interesting in the doing rather than in the telling.

I slept most of the night, and the drive continued through most of the night. I woke up to the bright early morning summer sun ahead of us and fields, farmhouses and orchards passing with still miles and miles yet to go, but I was happy just to stare out the window, watch the scenery and laugh quietly to myself at the words both my companions, particularly Darek, repeated to me many times:

You go to Poland. Maybe you no come back!

to be copntinued

Thanks for sharing donkey!! I am jelous!! Sounds like you had a great time.