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How to sustain a Long Distance Relationship with a Polish girl


sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #1
I met a Polish girl about 6 weeks ago. We saw each other every day for a while. Then we went to Barcelona on holiday. Then the day after the holiday she went back to Poland. Now we only phone each other a couple of times a week. I plan to move to Poland to be with her, but this probably won't be for another six months or so. Any advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation?
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #2
Long distance relationships should really be a no go, a relationship is based on spending quality time together and not just at the other end of the phone. The point of being in a relationship with somebody is surely to see them.

There are plenty of others out there that will give you more than a long distance relaitonship. What are you going to get out f it, you may as well have a pen pal. No Romantic dinners, no nights in, no movies, no days out, no meeting the parents and therefore not really getting to know each other.

There is much more than just this above, i believe that long distance relationships are worthless and pointless especially if you only met her six weeks ago, just treat it like a holiday romance, lol.

On a serious level though i would just advise that you move on and find somebody else who is a little closer to hand.

thnx

T
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,104  
21 Sep 2007 /  #3
Now we only phone each other a couple of times a week

It depends on the content of the calls. You'll know yourself if they are just friendly chats or if there is more there.

Six months is a long time so perhaps you should arrange to see each other in that time, if possible - maybe another holiday?

Perhaps you could begin to exchange letters or emails with pictures of parts of each others lives you may have missed by being apart.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #4
yes, i am beginning to wonder if you're right. Holiday romance was the expression i used, but i'm hoping it's more. She was here for 2 months, then went home to her family and is now happily back with her mother. Whereas i am here feeling empty! There was talk of marriage, she even tried on a ring! But I didn't want to push her too fast, too soon. I think she wanted me to meet her parents before we got engaged. T, do you speak from bitter experience???

yes, polska doll, we plan to see each other before 6 months, but it seems like an eternity!
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Sep 2007 /  #5
I plan to move to Poland to be with her,

A few days holiday might be better. Don't commit yourself just yet.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #6
i have been put off going to Poland, I met a few Polish people earlier to arrange some Polish lessons and they seem to prefer it here!
basiaa 3 | 13  
21 Sep 2007 /  #7
long distance relationships are tough to keep alive.
im in one now.
im in the US and hes in Poland.
we talk all the time when he's home, and then text constantly when he goes off to the military.
but being only 2 months apart, i can feel it fading already.

it'd be a good idea to pause the relationship where it is and pick it back up again until you two are together again. thats what im considering doing.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #8
with respect dolly, you have probably seen more of the world than i have but surely its not worth following this up when there are plenty of other potential relationships waiting out there that will be better placed geographically than 'sausages' current situation. Things such as e-mail, phone calls and sending pictures etc etc are elements that you can do without when starting a relationship.

Surely the better option is to find somebody better suited in the long run.

firstly, wow wow wow wow wow, after six weeks there was talk of marriage, this seems crazy, is this not more out of hope than belief or what?? marriage will not fix distance and is for people in love, which surely after six weeks (With respect) you are not.

I had a Polish girlfriend myself and we broke up because she went back home to Poland, it was sad and i was gutted but its part of life and we both thought it was for the best so that both of us could get on with our lives. We enjoyed our time together but realised that it would be unrealistic in the near future to continue with her in Poland and me in the UK.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #9
basiaa, you are much further apart with your man than i am with my girl! in distance, if not emotionally! putting it on hold is possibly the best option. i'm not sure how long our relationship will last whilst we are not together. Our communication on the phone is nothing like as good as it is in person.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #10
Our communication on the phone is nothing like as good as it is in person.

you've just hit the nail on the head here, remember what you just said and think of the relationship as a whole
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #11
yes tornado. the whole thing seems crazy. she is too tall and too young for me! however, i do plan to move there. she can't move here because she is in the middle of her studies. I am contractually obliged to stay with my current company for another 6 months, otherwise i would move tomorrow. Hopefully i am not deluded. She isn't perfect by any means, but not far off!
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,104  
21 Sep 2007 /  #12
not worth following this up when there are plenty of other potential relationships waiting out there that will be better placed geographically

Well, you don't know that. I don't think sausage is as into this girl as I first thought but you fall for the person you fall for, regardless of location.

Things such as e-mail, phone calls and sending pictures etc etc are elements that you can do without when starting a relationship.

Sometimes when location separates you, there's nothing else for it.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Sep 2007 /  #13
marriage will not fix distance and is for people in love, which surely after six weeks (With respect) you are not.

It is possible.
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,104  
21 Sep 2007 /  #14
It is possible

If you mean that it is possible to be in love in six weeks, you are right. Less even.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #15
thanks polskadoll, you can't help who you fall in love with. Hopefully our seperation will only be temporary. Presumably Tornado you are in this forum because you want another Polish girl?
johan123 1 | 228  
21 Sep 2007 /  #16
I can spend the time with her until you are ready!
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #17
Well, you don't know that. I don't think sausage is as into this girl as I first thought but you fall for the person you fall for, regardless of location.

fair enough dolly, however you also have to be man enough to say, hay look this is not a situation which is realistic. Spending time on a relationship this far apart seems totally ludicrous, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Sometimes when location separates you, there's nothing else for it.

these measures purely string out the realisation of the inadequacy of the relationship. Its better to be quick and act fast than waste time and resources.

It is possible.

???????? please explain your statement

yes tornado. the whole thing seems crazy. she is too tall and too young for me! however, i do plan to move there. she can't move here because she is in the middle of her studies. I am contractually obliged to stay with my current company for another 6 months, otherwise i would move tomorrow. Hopefully i am not deluded. She isn't perfect by any means, but not far off!

i guess its up to you mate, you only asked for advice from the members, so i gave mine, its your decision at the end of the day. I just hope what ever you decide works out for you. The fact that you needed to ask shows me you already have some doubts and doubts are not good news.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Sep 2007 /  #18
???????? please explain your statement

It is possible to fall in love in six weeks [or less]
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,104  
21 Sep 2007 /  #19
to be man enough to say, hay look this is not a situation which is realistic.

Or be man enough to say that this is something you want to work at, yes it will be difficult but the end result may be wonderful. It's about the effort a person is willing to put into something rather than just walk away because the effort might be too much.

these measures purely string out the realisation of the inadequacy of the relationship. Its better to be quick and act fast than waste time and resources

Sometimes the best things come to those who wait...
AvJoeUK  
21 Sep 2007 /  #20
Give it up before it falls to pieces [end]
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #21
yes, i have serious doubts. however it is a double edged sword. When she was in the uk we would both be at work each day and she would miss me during the day. When we were on holiday she wouldn't miss me at all because we were together 24/7. Maybe she will miss me even more now! PolskaDolls suggestion of regularly reminding her of what she is missing is a good idea. Polska is a woman after all, so maybe i prefer her advice!
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #22
It is possible to fall in love in six weeks [or less]

and to continue such love over a few countries and a sea??? not so easy i think :)

wow a few phone calls and pictures makes everybody happy, please don't make me laugh.

Or be man enough to say that this is something you want to work at,

Or be man enough to say that this is something you want to work at, yes it will be difficult but the end result may be wonderful. It's about the effort a person is willing to put into something rather than just walk away because the effort might be too much.

its not about effort, its purely about the situation, you put effort into any relationship no matter what. Things need to develop this does not happen across western to eastern europe.

Sometimes the best things come to those who wait...

agreed, but wait for what, her to suddenly go, yeah ok i'l up sticks and leave home and come to england!!! I doubt it

Give it up before it falls to pieces [end]

on that statement i think the thread could be locked, good advice ;)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
21 Sep 2007 /  #23
Spending time on a relationship this far apart seems totally ludicrous, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Some people don't find it so easy to fall in love. My advice to sausage is to wait and see what happens. Don't give up too quickly unless she wants it to end. If you're really going to move there, it's not going to be a long distance relationship forever. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll feel satisfied that you tried.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #24
yes wrap it up if you like! the guys advise me to move on. the girls say hang on in there for something that may be truly wonderful. I am inclined to hang on in there for a little while! I am not asking her to move to England, she has studies to finish. I am relatively mobile!
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #25
Some people don't find it so easy to fall in love.

i hope your not suggesting i fall in love easily because i have told sausage to move on :)

falling in love so quick seems almost impossible and when coupled with the fact that the relationship is from the UK to Poland makes it even more un-feasible to continue.

yes wrap it up if you like! the guys advise me to move on. the girls say hang on in there for something that may be truly wonderful. I am inclined to hang on in there for a little while! I am not asking her to move to England, she has studies to finish. I am relatively mobile!

then its your call
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,104  
21 Sep 2007 /  #26
you put effort into any relationship no matter what

Therefore - distance doesn't matter if you think it will work!

Some people don't find it so easy to fall in love. My advice to sausage is to wait and see what happens. Don't give up too quickly unless she wants it to end. If you're really going to move there, it's not going to be a long distance relationship forever. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll feel satisfied that you tried.

Good advice :)
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
21 Sep 2007 /  #27
I am relatively mobile!

So spend a weekend with her. The financial cost will not be too big and you will learn the truth of the situation.
OP sausage  
21 Sep 2007 /  #28
yes, thanks for the advice everyone. i was thinking more along the lines of cold showers or taking up building model aircraft!
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
21 Sep 2007 /  #29
i hope your not suggesting i fall in love easily because i have told sausage to move on :)

haha. No, it wasn't about you. It was about people in general. Some people don't find it easy to feel something strong toward whoever is around them. When you do find that feeling, I think you should go for it even if there's no guarantee involved.
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
21 Sep 2007 /  #30
i know i was only playing, hence the :)

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