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Polish Stunner.........sticky situation


BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #1
There is a Polish girl who works in a restaurant i sometimes go to, and she is totally stunning. Problem is i have a girlfriend, who i want to end things with. Its just a question of whether or not the Polish girl likes me. Im usually good at telling that, but maybe polish girls are different. I dont want to make an ass of myself.

This girl is nice to everyone, but always talks to me and smiles over at me when my girlfriend is away, and doesnt talk to her or treat her the same way. Im confused and frustrated at this situation, as im crazy about her but dont know what to do about it as a restaurant isnt the ideal place to ask someone out!HELP!
dziendobry  
11 Mar 2007 /  #2
why don t you go to the restaurant without your girlfriend next time
just go there over all the time and then see how she responds, i m sure it will also be easier to flirt with each other and show if she likes you if you don t have a girlfriend with you....
Member 223  
11 Mar 2007 /  #3
You need to get yourself sorted out. if you want to finish your present relationship then do it. Now.
Do you really think this other girl is interested in you when you spend your time sitting with someone else. Is it likely that this new girl will jump straight into a relationship with you knowing that it will be on the back of your last one.

A restaurant isn't the best place to start a romance. Good Waiting Staff are always polite and smile. It's part of the job.
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #4
Hey, make up your mind. :) Do you want to stay with your girlfriend or not? Obviously not, so I suggest you start being honest about that and tell her.

Then do what your heart tells you to do, although I can't really understand how you could ever switch from one girl to another so fast..

But that's your decision, and this is just my honest opinion. Hope it helps you, although I don't see why so many boys want a polish girl as of late, I have no bad thing to say about the girl you mentioned, don't get me wrong, but they're just girls like any other girl from any other country. But hey, if she makes your heart sing.. Go for it. :)

You know? Anyway, I think your girlfriend doesn't deserve to be lied to, wouldn't you agree?

Trust me, I know about lying all too well, and I know it hurts people's feelings. You should be clear about your feelings. :) That's all. If you really like the other girl, you should really break up with your girlfriend and ask her out.

If she turns you down at some point, you'll be single, but that's only fair is it not? Either way, don't treat your girlfriend like that, if you ever liked her, then you'd know she doesn't deserve to be left in the dark. :)
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #5
Good points. Although i noticed a difference in how she treats me compared to others, plus when i walk past her she always stares into my eyes, when i leave with my girlfriend she always addresses me and looks at me and never my girlfriend. I know waitresses are meant to be nice, but its so hard to seperate her behaviour from that expected of a waitress. Just finished with my girlfriend, we are talking tomorrow. A risk worth taking to me. Im usually quite confident, but this girl turns me into jelly.

I know, the hard thing is that my girlfriend is super-nice, cruel to be kind, but it has to be done. Im doing the right thing if it means i have a chance of finding what im looking for.

I can switch from one to another because the Polish girl gives me a feeling that i never get.
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #6
I can switch from one to another because the Polish girl gives me a feeling that i never get.

Well, maybe you should never have said you did love your girlfriend then. Because normally, you call someone your girlfriend if she makes you feel special things from the start. Nevermind me. I don't mean to be rude, what drives people is what interests me and I usually flame a little to get an answer. :)

So hey, you don't have to defend yourself. I wish I was a little more cruel sometimes.. Not implying you're an ass or anything! :) We can't all think or be the same, regardless, it's nothing to be ashamed of. :)

It's always a good thing to follow your heart. So the best of luck to you man. :)
krysia 23 | 3,058  
11 Mar 2007 /  #7
If you feel there are no feelings for your present girl-friend anymore, then what's the point of being together. You are not happy with her. You will only be with her to make her happy. That's not going to work in the long run.

You have to find somebody that you will be happy with. But be careful, because if it doesn't work out with the new girl, the first one will not take you back...
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #8
Krysia you are right, and thats how ive dealt with it.I wouldnt do that, im responsible for what i do so if it doesnt work, Ill take it on the chin and get on with things. No offence taken Arien, i didnt know you were blessed with psychic powers that enabled you to listen when i told my girlfriend i loved her? Just kidding, i told her i "loved her" never told her i was "In-love" with her, to me theres a difference, you can love your father,dog,or child, but you can only be "in-love" with very few.I made my feelings about this clear to her from the start, said i didnt know whether i was inlove with her or not, i gave it more time, and got my answer. I treated her like gold so i know ive done things the right way.

Arien i agree with you about the "fuss" on Polish women, you do get pretty ones in all countries, but this particular girl is great, so it wouldnt matter where she was from.
krysia 23 | 3,058  
11 Mar 2007 /  #9
Go for it!! Follow your heart!!!
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #10
Like I've said, I would know it if I was in love, otherwise I wouldn't be involved with a girl in any way.. I'm not saying you're a bad person, or that your girl is, or that you're wrong and I'm right.. Just that I don't understand such relationships as I probably wouldn't do such a thing.

And yeah, I'm aware of the fact that I speak my mind a bit too freely sometimes. :) So that's okay.

Arien i agree with you about the "fuss" on Polish women, you do get pretty ones in all countries, but this particular girl is great, so it wouldnt matter where she was from.

I wouldn't care about prettier or not, mutual understanding and a good heart is all that matters to me. I just see a lot of boys chasing the Polish girls so much, and I can't help but to ask myself why..

So I'm just interested. :) Go for her if she makes you feel good man. Good luck. :)
krysia 23 | 3,058  
11 Mar 2007 /  #11
Yeah, and make sure you let us know how it worked out!!:)
LoneStranger 3 | 382  
11 Mar 2007 /  #12
BlueDeep

when how long will you be with her?... she'll go for a probably a Czech...or Estonian... Swiss..
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #13
Yes Arien, your powers of foresight astound me, it would be great to know who you could be inlove with and who you couldnt! :) But seriously, it is good to know when its love and when its not, but for me love is a bit of a hard emotion to figure out, thats why i needed to give it time to see if it was going to happen or not, it didnt, and i suppose next time ill not make the same mistake, i dont like hurting people, but this is necessary. Even if i hadnt met the Polish Girl i would still feel the same, knowing it wasnt going to work. Where are you from anyway Arien?

I will do Krysia, just dont be amused if i come back in a bad mood!haha
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #14
Yes Arien, your powers of foresight astound me, it would be great to know who you could be inlove with and who you couldnt!

Just think it's weird when you don't know if you're in love with someone yes or no. To me, that has nothing to do with foresight, I mean, I just know when I feel special things for someone.. Seems pretty normal to me? Nothing astounding about that. :)

I'm just asking these things out of curiosity. :)

But seriously, it is good to know when its love and when its not, but for me love is a bit of a hard emotion to figure out, thats why i needed to give it time to see if it was going to happen or not, it didnt,

Hey man, again, I don't understand how you think love can happen when you don't really know if you're in love in the first place? Sorry if I seem to be a prick to you or anything.. I think it's better if I shut up now. Again, I wish you good luck. :)

I'm from Holland by the way, so that explains everything. :)
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #15
I dont think your a prick, you are interesting. Dont shut up, its good to get other peoples point of view, and being from holland your english is outstanding. Im from Belfast in Ireland, but anyway, i agree sometimes you know from the start if its love or not, but i dont tie it down to always being like that, i believed in a possibility given some time. I was in Amsterdam in December, its a confusing city, everywhere looks the same.

By the way, unless you like looking at terrorism murals never come to belfast, its crap, moving to Australia in 4 years.
Annia  
11 Mar 2007 /  #16
So you drop a girl on the off chance that you will hook up with another, you dont know if she has a b/f, she has smiled at you, thats not really a big deal, women smile at men its called being polite and the reason she didnt smile at your g/f is because she probably feels uncomfortable smiling at women, I certainly dont go out of my way to smile at strange women! I think that you have read too much into the situation, but at least you have been honest with your current g/f, good man, she will thank you for it in the long run, its really hard being in a relationship when there is something missing.

Arien, being in love and loving someone can be quite different, no sweaty palms and no heart racing means there is something missing you need to have these things to be truely in love.
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #17
Annia you have some good points, but its the staring that makes me think there is something extra, i could be wrong but when i stare its usually because i like someone, and i HOPE thats the case with this girl. Either that or i have something on my face. You are totally right about sweaty palms and racey heart, and thats what she makes me feel. Is this not something worthy of taking a chance in dropping a girl to get what you are looking for?????
peterweg 37 | 2,319  
11 Mar 2007 /  #18
BlueDeep
You seem like a guy who is honest to himeself and others, so many people would simply cheat on their girlfriend, its sickening.

I hope you can make it with this girl, as krysia said, do it and don't give up, I think she likes you.
Annia  
11 Mar 2007 /  #19
Is this not something worthy of taking a chance in dropping a girl to get what you are looking for?????

Im not sure about that, you have to get to know a person, she might not be what you are looking for, you might go on a date and it might not happen, but the only way to find out is the bite the bullet and ask her out and see what happens, get it over and done with, if you start building it up it gets harder.
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #20
Alright, I suppose you could look at it from your perspective. :)

I can walk that city blindfolded, to me it's like a little village, and I've got quite a few relatives who live there so it's almost like home for me in some ways. Yeah, I suppose you could say almost everything looks equally old to a foreigner. :)

Tried the tulips? :)

Arien, being in love and loving someone can be quite different, no sweaty palms and no heart racing means there is something missing you need to have these things to be truely in love.

My point exactly, just curious about other people's vieuws. :)
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #21
Cheers Peterweg, i didnt want it to get to the stage of cheating, not fair. Annia, its a risk and i know you need to get to know a person, but i think sometimes you can sense someones basic personality and what type of person they are from talking to them briefly about things and watching how they act to others, ofcourse you arent going to know them in depth but it gives an indication of who they are.

Biting the bullet is sooooo hard, especially when you know it could end in disaster, but i suppose the only thing warning me against it is my ego, something which i dont have much respect for as it is a pain in the ass. Why does it have to exist?
Annia  
11 Mar 2007 /  #22
Why does it have to exist?

to stop us doing stupid things :)
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #23
Arien, its an excellent point, but then isnt there part of you that thinks maybe there are different ways of falling inlove? Maybe there is only the sweaty palm racey heart way but maybe there are others, i dont know, its confusing, and suppose you dont know until you try different ways.
miranda  
11 Mar 2007 /  #24
Blue,
I know it's a hard situation but you need to get off that fence you are sitting on and make a move. Otherwise you are going to drive yourself crazy. There are no guarantees in life and you will know if it's a good think once you go out with the Polish woman. Just don't have any expectations:)
szarlotka 8 | 2,208  
11 Mar 2007 /  #25
G'day blue. Ignore everybody and follow your heart. Just make a decision and stick with it. Three people and at least one of you is gonna be hurt
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #26
I think the Ego is stupid in itself. Its a defence mechanism that wastes your energy as it makes you think about what others think, when in actual fact whats important is acheiving your goal, not outside thoughts. The Ego glorifies itself on invisibilities. This is getting very profound, its better speaking in abc's. But then again the Ego is so complicated it cant be described in abc's.

Thanks Miranda, jumping off the fence is a good idea, but easier said than done! I suppose one moment of uncertainty and embarrassment is worth a crack at the right person.
Member 223  
11 Mar 2007 /  #27
BlueDeep,

You are starting to justify your actions. Just get on with it.
Arien  
11 Mar 2007 /  #28
No, because I listen to my heart. If I don't feel curious, excited, intrigued, tensed and if I don't smile when I think of someone then I wouldn't bother.

Maybe it's possible I could fall in love with someone that I've known for quite some time.. Sometimes you start to notice things about someone else later on. Things you didn't see before. I could agree to that..

But really, I'm not going to fool myself and get involved with someone who doesn't give me the butterflies. I'm too soft for that, I've done that once and almost killed myself when all of my stupid mistakes collided at some point.

So let's not do that again. :) But that's personal. Like I've said, I don't pretend to know it all and you don't have to defend yourself or to convince anyone, because I know I've made some mistakes. :)

But yeah, I've been fooled a lot of times, and I never got any answers, so maybe that's why I'm so damn curious about how other people experience love.

It's just tricky bussiness, I agree on that. :)
Annia  
11 Mar 2007 /  #29
Just ask her out to dinner and hope for the best :)
OP BlueDeep  
11 Mar 2007 /  #30
Member 223 thankyou for your individual clarification, just want to be certain about this because theres afew varying opinions, and im not ignorant enough to automatically assume that im right, although ive taken steps which indicate that only because i have a feeling.

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