Return PolishForums LIVE
  PolishForums Archive :
Archives - 2005-2009 / Love  % width 40

Stalker Friend of my Polish GF?


fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #1
I am sure there will be lots of opinions on this...

I have been spending a bit of time with this polish girl and she likes me but last week after work there was a guy waiting for her outside work when she finished. She didn't look impressed and when I asked her the next day she said she didn't want to talk about it as he was a strange guy and waited for her and follows her around sometimes.

Yesterday I saw her and maybe by coincidence or maybe because he was waiting near her place he appeared and started saying rude things in polish to her before spitting on her several times - I didn't notice what was going on but when I did I went and pulled her away.

He then txt her and called her sending her rude mean messages.

Apparently she had met him 2 times before and he won't leave her alone. She says he is from a village in poland and so is stupid.

I told her that she should tell the police - and ignore him but she continued to txt him back insulting messages encouraging him.

If I see him outside work I may call the police myself - but really it is up to her - has anyone got any experience of this kind of thing or can offer some advice here?

Thanks.
IronsE11 2 | 442  
22 May 2008 /  #2
I am sure there will be lots of opinions on this...

That you can be sure of.

Apparently she had met him 2 times before

He then txt her

Hmmmmmmmm. Why does he have her number?
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #3
As I said they met a few times she told me before then she didn't like him and stayed away from him so he started following her.

This is a serious discussion - so please avoid sick stupid jokes.

It is disgusting that anyone would spit at a girl - there is no excuse.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
22 May 2008 /  #4
If things look seriously uncomfortable to her then letting the police know seems like the right thing to do. But then, wtf is she doing txting him back if she really wants to stay away from him?
Wyspianska  
22 May 2008 /  #5
fireif

why do you care for her if she doesn't want to tell you who is this guy even. Let it be especially if she's texting him back and doesn't want to call police. That says a lot.
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #6
I agree with you that she shouldn't but some people can't not respond when people are rude or horrible to them - and I think she doesn't realise that replying will make it worse.

I think you have to imagine a situation where you get horrible calls and messages - and eventually you want to tell that person to leave you alone and that can become an argument.

I don't know her well enough yet for her to listen to my advice and really take it on board but I was hoping someone here may have some advice that may be useful or may have known someone like that or understand the situation better than I do. Thanks.
Wyspianska  
22 May 2008 /  #7
I think she doesn't realise that replying will make it worse.

silly you
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #8
Its not me thats silly - I told her don't reply!
polishgirltx  
22 May 2008 /  #9
it's hard to get rid of a stalker, but if she answers to his provocations, then she'd think twice hard next time before she does it....
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 May 2008 /  #10
he's her ex man or maybe even somewhat current..

i say, stay away, you don't need the hassle.
IronsE11 2 | 442  
22 May 2008 /  #11
it's hard to get rid of a stalker

Tell me about it. It's even harder when they are online.

*awaits Facebook friend request from espana*
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #12
Possible ex - she did say she met him a few times. If he was her "current" guy then he would have argued with me as well not ignored me totally...

But I asked for any advice on how to deal with it.. anyone?
polishgirltx  
22 May 2008 /  #13
But I asked for any advice on how to deal with it.. anyone?

ignore him, but it depends of what really had happened between them.... i think there is more then what she's told you...
Ranj 21 | 948  
22 May 2008 /  #14
he's her ex man or maybe even somewhat current..

i say, stay away, you don't need the hassle.

i think there is more then what she's told you...

I agree with plk & Polishgirltx......He's an ex (not someone she met a few times). She's probably playing with his head as well as yours....just my opinion.
argumentive36 - | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #15
I agree too, there is more to it than 'someone she met only twice'!
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #16
I am not suggesting that they literally ONLY met twice.

But I am saying that nothing anyone does deserves to be spit at 5 times in the face on the street - which is what he did to her.

He was obviously taunting her and upsetting her and she looked really nervous about it.

His behaviour is inexcusable under every and all circumstances and she has acted like a lovely sweet girl around me and nothing else so I have to believe this guy has serious mental issues which is why I am concerned.
Daydreamer - | 46  
22 May 2008 /  #17
I had something similar happen to me several years ago, the guy kept ringing me saying abuse things about me to my friends etc but I cut all contact with him not to encourage his attentions. I know that everyone has a different ways of dealing with things but the very fact that she is comfortable enough to reply to his messages says that there is a lot more to this story....
OP fireif 1 | 12  
22 May 2008 /  #18
I was with her when she was replying.

I told her not to and she said he was saying nasty things and she couldn't let him do that without telling him that and obviously insulting him back.

She was definately not happy with him and I could see that - she was shaken up.

Maybe he was an ex - and I can believe that as being possible but I really can't understand anyone who would behave like that - it is disgusting and I am surprised more people here are not saying that as well... its almost as if spitting at people is acceptable! lol
Daydreamer - | 46  
22 May 2008 /  #19
No certainly not! No one's saying that at all we're all just saying that there is more to the story but whatever that 'more' is won't make it acceptable to spit at someone girl or guy! and it's surprising how little you have to do to make someone believe they somehow own you and have 'rights' over you..
JohnP - | 210  
22 May 2008 /  #20
Sounds like an ex....

John P.
polishgirltx  
22 May 2008 /  #21
it's only our opinion without knowing the details... of course it's not acceptable behavior... but also your girl shouldn't have respond IMO... that's it... maybe she'll tell you one day what's really going on and clear up stuff...
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 May 2008 /  #22
right, not acceptable behaviour but is it really your fight to get into? i say, just offer her your help and understanding and step back unless asked to step up. she has to make the move about HER situation and not someone else.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699  
23 May 2008 /  #23
If I see him outside work I may call the police myself - but really it is up to her - has anyone got any experience of this kind of thing or can offer some advice here?

well. I would show her some evidence of this type of behavior via the intranet
getting as much information on the type of behavior so she knows what she
is dealing with and how to get out of that situation.
Gosiaa 2 | 89  
23 May 2008 /  #24
In my opinion there is only one thing why the guy would do such thing, Polish men are proud would never do that even if they live under a rock in some small village.

It is only my speculation of coures but she probably promissed this guy the moon and the stars borrowed serious amount of CASH and now ignores him!

So what is he to do ?
Wyspianska  
23 May 2008 /  #25
Polish men are proud would never do that even if they live under a rock in some small village.

WHAT? They all are sad, rude and they don't even know what does it mean to be gentle for women. Just like the guy who fireif wrote about. I live in Poland so i do know. Thanks God my boys English haha
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
23 May 2008 /  #26
There are decent types Wyspi, be fair.
OP fireif 1 | 12  
24 May 2008 /  #28
The guy was waiting outside again tonight.

Scary.

I told her to go through the back door but he seemed to be waiting for her there - he seemed to be walking between the front and back of the building.

I watched him follow her to her door (as I could see from work as its just across the road) and then she closed the door and he tried to go in but he seemed to not want to try anything else and left at that point.

I then saw him watching me - this guy is very strange. If I see him standing outside watching me I can say he will be seeing the police very soon!
Daydreamer - | 46  
24 May 2008 /  #29
I'm glad that you've decided to put this in the hands of the police cos this guys behaviour could get out of control!
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
24 May 2008 /  #30
I'd recommend sooner rather than later mate, better safe than sorry.

He can't just loiter

Archives - 2005-2009 / Love / Stalker Friend of my Polish GF?Archived