Return PolishForums LIVE
  PolishForums Archive :
Archives - 2005-2009 / Love  % width 158

Should I Be Nervous About Going to Poland? Black female dating a Pole.


ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
14 Apr 2009 /  #31
I wasn't tryna present maself as a "ghetto"

Then don't write like that:

Also just because you are black it doesn’t mean you have to speak in a certain way, it just perpetuates stereotypes, which are generally negative, we speak English in England and seeing my language completely butchered isn't nice and looks pretty common uneducated.

just incase you didn't see my original post.

Your yourself are proud to be Polish, aren't you? Is being Polish something you did to yourself or did you just happen to be born Polish? One would have to assume that if you look down on black pride you also look down on Polish pride. Or is it just that you apply one rule to whites and another to untermenschen?

Being proud of ones nationality is normal, Im proud to be English, can't say I've ever said "Im proud to be white", that's probably because I don't really consider it anything to be proud of, it's just a skin colour after all, there is also the fact I'd probably be branded a neo nazi for saying "Im white and proud"...
z_darius 14 | 3,965  
14 Apr 2009 /  #32
why are you always
so deragatory?

I can't answer that question because I am not always derogatory.

I think you're full of yourself z darius and have a serious
psychological problem.

Speaking of psychological problems, how's your aversion to food you never tried going?

So pride in being Polish is a good thing but pride in colour is silly. That makes perfect sense

What doesn't make sense is you taking an extreme liberty of putting words in people's mouth.

As I have stated many times, I have no hatred for the Polish nation. I would not choose to live in a nation which I hate, would I? Do I live what I preach? Well I certainly don't take any pride in my skin colour or in any of my nationalities. As for "anegdotal stories", I am more than slightly baffled as to what an anegdote might be. If you are perchance referring to what I have seen and experienced in Poland, I would have to observe that my statements will have considerably more weight behind them than yours: I have lived all but one of the last 15 years in Poland. How many days in the last 15 years have you spent in Poland?

Harry, one doesn't have to live in Poland a minute of one's life to see your deep prejudice gainst that country and its people. The fact that you happen to live in Poland means as little as the the love of Britain some muslims living there project on a daily basis.

The fact that you have been able to live in Poland for for the last 15 years has nothing to do with me being born white, or Polish, but it does have everything to do with the fact that I contributed my tiny part to your being able to live there. Very few people were brave enough to do that before 1989.

And thats what gives me the right to be a proud Pole.
OP PurpleLeo 2 | 47  
14 Apr 2009 /  #33
Ok ShelleyS fair enough, I'll type all my words out properly if
that's what makes everyone happy.
Harry  
14 Apr 2009 /  #34
What doesn't make sense is you taking an extreme liberty of putting words in people's mouth.

So when you said

thats what gives me the right to be a proud Pole.

you meant the bit where you chose to be born in Poland. OK, thanks for clearing that up. Poles chose to be born Poles and thus can be proud but blacks can not be proud of being black because that wasn’t their choice.

Harry, one doesn't have to live in Poland a minute of one's life to see your deep prejudice gainst that country and its people.

Which is very lucky, given that the vast majority of ‘Poles’ who accuse me of being prejudiced against Poland and Poles do not live in Poland and that some them have never even visited the country.

The fact that you happen to live in Poland means as little as the the love of Britain some muslims living there project on a daily basis.

A stunningly good point but one that has a tiny flaw: they happen to live in the UK (and are understandably less than keen to return to places such as the federally administered tribal areas of Pakistan) and many are in the UK through somebody else’s choice. I, on the other hand, can live and work in the vast majority of nations in the world and choose Poland as the place I want to live.

The fact that you have been able to live in Poland for for the last 15 years has nothing to do with me being born white, or Polish, but it does have everything to do with the fact that I contributed my tiny part to your being able to live there.

So you love Poland so much that you don’t want to live in the country. OK. Although I regret to inform you that whatever your actions might have been, they in no way affected my ability to live in Poland.

Very few people were brave enough to do that before 1989.

Yes, you were one of the heroic few. The ten million who joined Solidarnosc, or one of its sub-organisations, weren’t brave. You were one of the very few brave ones.

And thats what gives me the right to be a proud Pole.

So proud that you lie about your fellow Poles and refuse to live in the same country as them.
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,149  
14 Apr 2009 /  #35
She said (and these were her exact words), "Proper Polish men
don't date black ppl." She actually used the n-word.

Really ? Hard to believe but If true then that's definately not a normal behavior...


The bumbest post of a thread. Like always.
Harry  
14 Apr 2009 /  #36
And we just dare to point out that there are good and bad things about Jews...

Could you perhaps repost a few of things which you say are good about Jews? Personally I'm quite happy to go on the record as saying that some Jews are complete and utter bastards and some are simply wonderful. Very much as some Poles and some Poles.

See, this is where you know squat about me. See, I kinda had to leave Poland because... well... I was involved quite a bit more in the Solidarity movement than most of its 10 million members.

I know that you are somewhat economical with the truth. Ten million is not "very few". I also know that if you wanted to, you could now live in Poland. Perhaps you are not such a proud Pole after all.
Wroclaw Boy  
14 Apr 2009 /  #37
Its a perfectly reasonable post by a girl just asking a question. McCoy you are well out of line. If she prefers to write like that so be it, i would imagine its a online habit so people know she is black without having to advertise the fact.

Poland is an extremely racist country make no mistake, you will get stared at a lot and public affection will most probably be frowned upon especially if they realise your BF is Polish. keep your head up and youll be just fine. Big cities are more open. Dont know what your stance on pork is but its served everywhere.
OP PurpleLeo 2 | 47  
14 Apr 2009 /  #38
Speaking of psychological problems, how's your aversion to food you never tried going?

There you go again. Anyway, I'm going to have dinner in a Polish restaurant soon
so that's sorted...or going to be sorted...

I can't answer that question because I am not always derogatory.

That's how you come across in most of your posts that I've read. Very negative
all the time. Do you mind me asking how old you are?
dcchris 8 | 432  
14 Apr 2009 /  #39
The old people just aren't used to foreigners. They lived behind the iron curtain for such a long time and were isolated. Many of them are brainwashed by Radio Maria into racism. You might want to lay off the public affection while here. As well if you do see a black/white couple its always the guy who is black. If you are in a big city like Warsaw obviously you will have less attention shown to you then in a smaller place. There are a lot of racists on this forum so dont let them throw you off. They arent going to do much most likely here but dont expect it to be like western europe or america just because they just are not used to foreigners let alone black women. You will find many of the younger educated class quite open and friendly to you. I thought it would be a bunch of skin heads running around here and it just isnt like that. The Poles are pretty cool and who really cares what some ole lady says?
z_darius 14 | 3,965  
14 Apr 2009 /  #40
Could you perhaps repost a few of things which you say are good about Jews?

Oh Harry, yet again you prove nothing. I never said anything good about Finns, Icelanders and plenty others. Does that mean I hate them?

You really need to pick polish (no pun intended) your debating skills.

Ten million is not "very few".

I did not say that. You assumed that. You're twisting words again Harry.

I also know that if you wanted to, you could now live in Poland.

No, actually, you don't know that. This is just another one of your assumptions.

Anyway, I'm going to have dinner in a Polish restaurant soon
so that's sorted...or going to be sorted...

Way to go! That will give you all the answers you need.

That's how you come across in most of your posts that I've read.

"that I've read" is much better.

keep your head up and youll be just fine. Big cities are more open. Dont know what your stance on pork is but its served everywhere.

I'd say there may be a rule to that. Smaller towns in the UK, or the US, will be rather less tolerant and open to the outside influences than larger cities. In Poland the discrepancies in social approaches between urban and rural areas will be similar.
grethomory 1 | 155  
14 Apr 2009 /  #41
Being proud of ones nationality is normal, Im proud to be English, can't say I've ever said "Im proud to be white", that's probably because I don't really consider it anything to be proud of, it's just a skin colour after all, there is also the fact I'd probably be branded a neo nazi for saying "Im white and proud"...

There's a history to all of this...I am black. I can't speak for England because I have never lived there, but in America. The reason being Black is to be proud...is simply due to the fact...that in America...there was always something wrong with being Black. I mean look in your magazines...look on television..until recently meaning the 90's...you didn't even see many Blacks on magazine covers. Remember, it wasn't that long ago that it was a big deal for Tyra Banks to grace the cover of the coveted Sports Illustrated issue.

Look at people like Halle Berry who was forced to choose to be Black instead of stating her mixed heritage.
Look at Mariah Carey...who contrary to the eyes....is half Black. Even Obama is half Black...the ones closer to his age had to call themselves Black in an effort to keep the white race pure in America. God forbid they could be called Bi-Racial.

So, by all means...you have every right to be proud of being white. It does not bother me, but know the history of why Blacks state they are proud to be Black.
OP PurpleLeo 2 | 47  
15 Apr 2009 /  #42
Bless ur heart love!!! Well said....
mafketis 36 | 10,687  
15 Apr 2009 /  #43
Basically you've been exposed to a lot more open hostility in this forum than you would be in most parts of Poland.

Where are you going exactly (region if you don't want to mention the town)? I've heard different stories about different parts of Poland. For what it's worth Silesia (very roughly Wrocław, Katowice and everything inbetween) has the worst reputation for racist behavior (it's a predominantly working class region that mostly hasn't fared well in the last 20 years). Mostly cities are better than small towns.

What is liable to happen is that people will stare at you (especially if they haven't seen many black people in person) and kids may say things (not necessarily hostile - just dumb kid stuff but it can be a trial to put up with). If you overhear a Polish person say something negative, say something nice to them ignoring what they said - they'll be mortified at being caught and the fact that you're polite in return will shame them more than any open confrontation ever could.) Also .... some men are liable to proposition you pretty openly (when your boyfriend is not around, the best strategy there is to not react at all).

The main thing is to follow local rules of politeness (say 'proszę pana' and 'proszę pani' as many times as possible and have a sense of humor about trouble in communicating but to stand your ground when necessary (Polish people mostly like assertive people who stand up for themselves).
OP PurpleLeo 2 | 47  
15 Apr 2009 /  #44
DOBRA

Thanks mafketis for your contribution. I appreciate it!

I'm going to Kalisz....to be honest I don't know what region
it's in. It's probably more of a good thing than a negative that
I got that reaction from that lady before going to Poland
so that whatever happens won't shock me too much.
I'll try not to take everything to heart and I hope I enjoy my
stay there.

Again, cheers :)
z_darius 14 | 3,965  
15 Apr 2009 /  #45
I'm going to Kalisz....to be honest I don't know what region
it's in.

Kalisz is in western part of Poland. It wasn't known for metropolitan way of life when I still lived in Poland. By many accounts it may be regarded somewhat of a provincial town, which doesn't mean every single person living there is of red neck quality.

Btw. don't take this as hostility, but your asking where Kalisz is may be a sign of a problem to be corrected. I'd say it would be considered polite to do your homework about where you are going. Your interest in the new place may help break the ice and ensure friendlier acceptance.
OP PurpleLeo 2 | 47  
15 Apr 2009 /  #46
Thanks for the info on Kalisz.

Btw. don't take this as hostility, but your asking where Kalisz is may be a sign of a problem to be corrected. I'd say it would be considered polite to do your homework about where you are going. Your interest in the new place may help break the ice and ensure friendlier acceptance.

I know. I intend to do some research before I go.
Besides it's not like I don't know anything
about Kalisz. My boyfriend tells me about it everyday lol!
I just didn't remember what region it was in even though I have
read about it before.

Still, thanks for your advice. I'll do my homework. Cheers.
Cenowski - | 63  
15 Apr 2009 /  #47
Lets be honest, black people here and there walk in towns or study Poland every noe and again and yes most of dont like it but we know are visiting and is person here and there, i think if people try moving to Poland then something will be done, i dont want people to say its rascism but it Polish patriotism, not all people dislike people becuase there not white but simply becuase no Polish and wont fit in with Polish life and dont want to end up like west europe were everyone moans about everyone and hates everyone else......
Sokrates 8 | 3,345  
15 Apr 2009 /  #48
i dont want people to say its rascism but it Polish patriotism

Its rascism allright, we dont like blacks.
MrBubbles 10 | 613  
15 Apr 2009 /  #50
walk in towns or study Poland every noe and again and yes most of dont like it but we know are visiting and is person here and there, i think if

What are you talking about? It looks like English but I can't understand a word
Sokrates 8 | 3,345  
15 Apr 2009 /  #51
Basically you've been exposed to a lot more open hostility in this forum than you would be in most parts of Poland.

We live in two different Polands then.

The main thing is to follow local rules of politeness

They're going to hunt her with shotguns and dogs anyway so whats the point? As soon as she gets out of a larger city she's dead.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,594  
15 Apr 2009 /  #52
Lets be honest, black people here and there walk in towns or study Poland every noe and again and yes most of dont like it but we know are visiting and is person here and there, i think if people try moving to Poland then something will be done, i dont want people to say its rascism but it Polish patriotism, not all people dislike people becuase there not white but simply becuase no Polish and wont fit in with Polish life and dont want to end up like west europe were everyone moans about everyone and hates everyone else......

Many Polish people move to different foreign countries. That's exactly the same thing as people from these countries moving to Poland.

Most of the Polish people who move to other countries (and planned to stay their for a very long time) adapt to their new culture. And most people moving to Poland will also adapt to Polish culture (if they are going to stay for a long time).

I don't know how long I will live in Poland, now I am studying. But I have tried to adapt to Polish culture, and I have been received very well by Polish people, they are very friendly to me. How do you explain that?
pawian 221 | 23,973  
15 Apr 2009 /  #53
not all people dislike people becuase there not white but simply becuase no Polish and wont fit in with Polish life and dont want to end up like west europe were everyone moans about everyone and hates everyone else......

This reasoning has serious flaws. What about black people born in Poland and speaking perfect Polish?

Everyone hates everyone else in Western Europe? I thought it is a typically Polish characteristic.... true especially in case of rascists :):):)
lukimp80 1 | 74  
15 Apr 2009 /  #54
What is the difference between a liberal and a racist?

In my estimation.

A liberal is one that wants to preach their Dogma to others about integrating. As a rule they live in segregated communities preaching to others to integrate. They are two faced cowards.

A racist. A person who is very happy with his heritage, and all that he asks is to be allowed to live with his own. Is that asking too much?
Seanus 15 | 19,674  
15 Apr 2009 /  #55
This has a fair bit of truth in it, lukimp. Some liberals are really holier-than-thou types who don't practise what they preach. I keep going back to it but like John Lennon singing about imagining no possessions from his white mansion, replete with all manner of material goodies.

The world doesn't revolve around catering for racists though. As Dave Gilmour sang in 'On the Turning Away', it's "just a world that we all must share". Provided that they don't harm you, I don't see a problem.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,594  
15 Apr 2009 /  #56
A racist. A person who is very happy with his heritage, and all that he asks is to be allowed to live with his own.

No, a racist is a person who judges people from their skin color/race, not from their personality or behavior.

In all races there are good and bad people, isn't it better to judge people from their personality and behavior instead of skin color/race?

But I agree that if you move to another country you should adapt to its culture.
Ironside 53 | 12,357  
15 Apr 2009 /  #57
Lets be honest, black people here and there walk in towns or study Poland every noe and again and yes most of dont like it but we know are visiting and is person here and there...

stop that nonsense, same females just love them.
lukimp80 1 | 74  
15 Apr 2009 /  #58
In all races there are good and bad people, isn't it better to judge people from their personality and behavior instead of skin color/race?

Yes, but once the savages are identified. Is it not wise to avoid them. The color of their skin is not what causes the trouble. It is what resides within the skin.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,594  
15 Apr 2009 /  #59
It is what resides within the skin.

That's why it's better to judge from personality and behavior instead of race or skin color. Many people adapt to the new culture (and new way of living) when they move to a new country. The problem in Western Europe is that too many people from other cultures came in a too short time, then it's very difficult for them to adapt to the new culture and new way of life. That's the reason why immigration has caused problem in Western Europe. Earlier when there was a "slower" rate of immigration we didn't see these problems.
lukimp80 1 | 74  
15 Apr 2009 /  #60
That's why it's better to judge from personality and behavior instead of race or skin color.

Thers the answer to the whole problem. You said it, I didn't.
In America we have skins of many colors. (Orientals) (Olive)
Brown. We have co-existed in harmony for over a hundred years.. They are not the problem.. But I will give you a guess as to which cause the most trouble?

Archives - 2005-2009 / Love / Should I Be Nervous About Going to Poland? Black female dating a Pole.Archived