Is it because some of us might have experienced something similar ?
Ofcourse, we all have similar experiences sooner or later. Often, we aren't as unique as we thought we were.
Is it because some of us might have friends who have similar problems ?
That could be the case, but then again, the person on the other side of your screen isn't the same person as your friend, so always keep in mind that no matter how much you've learned from their experiences, using the same approach on someone else might fail you horribly, where a completely different approach might work.
Is it just common sense ?
Sometimes, an assessment of a particular situation can be better made by someone who isn't emotionally attached. Objectivity isn't always the best choice, because sometimes, all that people really need is a bit of sympathy..
Another problem I have is wondering why it is that the original poster gets all the sympathy when we haven't heard the other side of the story.
Some stories might prove a little more complicated, but you'll always get one side of the story, which is the side people show you, and this could be for any given number of reasons. Tread lightly, don't jump to conclusions and maybe we shouldn't mistake some people's empathy for sympathy..
And why is the usual answer to these personal problems almost always: He's cheating on you, he's married, he already has a girlfriend.
That's what usually happens when people apply their own experiences to someone else's situation, often without any knowledge of the person who might've been involved. I say might, because I think it's easy for me to imagine that we can never be too sure about a posting on the internet.
Surely there can't be, what seems, such a large number of people who are taken in this way.
No? I would beg to differ. I would prefer to see someone as innocent untill proven guilty, and if proven guilty, I always try to remember that we all make mistakes, some more often than others..
I'd like to know why people cheat. What drives these people ? How can they be spotted before a romance begins.
You can't spot someone who cheats or has cheated before, and obviously you aren't born that way, although a broken heart can make you lose your ideals. Someone who cheats can do so for any given number of reasons. I don't understand the reason for cheating either, because I really am convinced you've got the freedom to leave a relationship whenever you're miserable with someone in that relationship.
Regardless, in every relationship there are two people at play, and these two people aren't perfect.
If I use my imagination, my best guesses would be that some people are too scared of hurting someone they've really loved once. (And maybe a part of them still does, maybe not always sexually.) Some people may have married someone they didn't like because of social pressure. Some people probably are scared of what their environment will think of them when they divorce a little too often, and some people might even want to keep a relationship working solely for financial reasons..
Etcetera.
I'd also like to know what posters think about giving the wrong advice, smart a$$ comments and how this might tip someone over the edge.
Deliberatly talking someone into breaking his or her heart (or breaking that of someone else!) seems pretty sick to me. I wouldn't want to wish that on someone else. In the end, we're responsible for our own actions though, and if we regret some actions, others shouldn't be completely unforgiving..
Does anyone wonder if some people have taken our advice and that advice has been wrong. And in fact a relationship might have been ruined because of one of our comments.
I don't wonder, I know it's a fact of life.
Hopefully, the answers to these questions will show that we do know what we are talking about and can be trusted.
Hey, if you carry no hatred in your heart, and are really trying to help someone else with all the good intentions of the world, I'd say you can be trustred, but that doesn't mean you're always right, or that it always turns out to be right..
Nobody's perfect.
:)
