Whose Life is it? Polish girlfriend under family "house arrest"

If you're that much for her than simply go to her confess your love and see what happens or drop the issue ( which is the smart thing to do ), sitting here you're just going to get opinions and opinions wont solve anything.

I know the ball is in her court......all I can do is see if absence makes the heart grow fonder. Thanks all for your comments....some of which I will admitt are not what I want to here but I appreciate all points of view. Im gonna sign off on this thread for now.....will update ye if any news comes my way. Take care all.

~Buy a couple of bottles of vodka, take them round to her brothers, get them drunk then ask them for the truth !

:))

Recommend an orgy, new allegiances can be formed ;)

it's a second person on PF in this situation... girl left to PL and not going back... well, i guess it's a new, modern form of breaking up with a guy... just not everybody is realizing that yet... hope and blind love play a major role here...

I think there have been other threads remarkably similar, pgtx. In English, what she did was called 'shirking'.

This is the way I am leaning now on this.


Now we're getting somewhere. Some real advice.


(sigh) Know just how you feel...

Then you have to make things happen. Get in and about.

Defy the odds. Polish women tend to favour their own but this is not set in stone.

LOL ! You are one big inferiority complex... but after all what one could expect from a creature imitating homo sapiens...

Hi Ireland32. I believe you i had a similar experience with my husbands polish family.when i went to poland. Due to the fact i am in the process of legal action i can't say any more. Please send me a private mail. If you want. What part of poland is she in?

Mind you its not good advice, if a woman doesnt act decisively that means she doesnt really care for him all that much.

Women, all women regardless of nationality or character or how shy they are or are not send pretty clear signals if they want to be with a man, the way i see it flying to Poland would be wasted ticket money but if it lets him clear the uncertainty than hey, why not.

It has been more my experience that girls often send mixed signals that confuse boys. And the boys, wanting and hoping for the best, overly rely on the good signals they have received while ignoring the bad. Even if this doesn’t always lead to reality.

I am thinking this may be the case with our poor Irish friend.
But the only way to find out is to do as you said: go confront her and find out for sure.

It's not so much mixed as complex. And the sad truth is that many men don't get enough training in deciphering complex communication signals. And most girls aren't interested in men who can't do that.

Often the signal isn't mixed at all, but the intended clear 'no' is softened with some surface politeness that the socially inept interpret as a potential 'yes'.

On the specific Poland-British Isles front, it's important to remember that Poland tends to be a flirting culture. Mostly IME British men aren't very good at distinguishing basic (meaningless) flirtation and real interest (and interpret flirtation as interest when it's not).

You of course are correct. What you say is much as I did.
It's like trying to learn a new language, one that the usage rules keep changing.
Life would be much easier if girls just told boys what they meant.
I defy any man to always understand just what his or any woman means from what she says.


I haven't heard this before.

For the most part, male-female relations would not be improved by clear and direction communication. Pleasant fictions keep the world and human race going.

Most women want a partner who's interesting to talk to. Using complex ambiguous communication is a way of separating out the potential partners from the also rans.

Well just to update you all on the craic. I was a naughty boy yesterday morning. I text her EX to tell him I was on my way tp Poland and I would see him later......then I turned off my phone for what would have been the duration of the flight. Had 2 voice mails when I turned phone on telling me he was at Warsaw airport waiting for me. I never answered and turned phone off again. Turned it on last night and I think he thinks im in Poland by the texts I was getting. I tried girlfriends phone this morning (with number withheld) and it was ringing but I immediately hung up, so I got her Manager to ring it straight after. The EX answered it and refused to let her speak to her. She siad it was important but still he would not let her speak saying she only speak Polish now. He obviously has her phone checking to see if Im trying to make contact.....anyway thanks all the news I have to date.....sorry for being naughty :-)

[quote=Ireland32]
sorry for being naughty :-)

You want your mum to tell u off? Go round her house then.

Stop playing games ,he could have given her slap for that, for all you know.

Doesnt sound very EX to me.

Better to go for single women, in general.

What a control freak he sounds. I wonder how he provides for her. That's their business but a woman doesn't respond well to an inept man with no drive and vision (what's my fiancee doing with me? LOL).

Keep up the pressure, lad. Keep him on his toes.

I told ye before....this lad is a dinosaur. Part of me wants to forget but a bigger part wants me to keep going. The bit of the puzzle that I dont know fits is if she is feeling as I am......if I knew that either way at least I would have closure.

Well, you are pursuing it for better or for worse. Dude, sometimes you never know unless you get the chance to test it out over a longer period. Sms's are only that, they are often things you regret.

I'll hang in there for another few weeks.....the last text I got from her was when she arrived in Warsaw. It said.......Baby I am in Warsaw. Flight ok. I miss you and I love you. 1000 kisses for you.

My fiancee sent something similar to me once. When she came back from work an hour later, she was shouting at me ;)

Nah, just kidding ;) Seriously, don't rely too much on words with women. They can turn very quickly. When you finally get the chance to build something with her, work at it. That's REAL life, not hiding behind texts. Establish compatibility and you are off to a winning start.

We were building, and planning for the future. I remember cooking her Sunday Dinner one day. She couldny get over that I would do such a think. She came an hour earlier thinking she would make it....and washing up....jasus that was another story !! . I have a son and she adored him and he still asks for her. I was always careful in the past to avoid people getting close to him that would confuse him.....well I fecked up on that one !!

You had the best of intentions, lad. You didn't dash his hopes completely. You can repair things but it takes time.

Dont beat yourself up. Get over there for real and rescue her if u think that is what she needs.
Just be careful.
Good luck

If I had one incling that she wanted that still I would be over there like a shot.....just need that sign............

An utterance of love isn't a sign? What other signs can you get, given that you live apart?

I think that this thread has run its course, unless there is a new development.

A call from Dublin Airport to say.....Baby Im back ! Can you come collect me.......I know dream on Lad !!

Ireland32,

If you come to Poland you'll be making a big mistake.
1. You'll get the door slammed in your face and you won't be able to do anything about it.
2. The other guy will be able to deal with you any way he wishes. You can't watch your back all the time.

What exactly are you hoping to achieve now ?
1. You want to know if she is OK. She is, she just can't contact you.
2. you want to know if your relationship is still sound. I doubt it is. Her family won't allow it.

What is the way forward ?
1. Forget about her.
2. Find her friends and get a message to her. But you still won't know if any reply is from her.
3. Make them think that you have given up... don't do anything for a month... and then have a Polish friend phone to check the situation... then act accordingly