Illegal Polish girl wants me to marry her for citizenship

I am leaning towards not doing this. She lives in Chicago and says she would give me 7,000 or so for doing it. Worst part about it is that I dated her for 6 months and we talked actual marriage. She said she lost feelings. I just cant believe she had enough guts considering I still have fellings for her. I guess we could get divorced after 2 years. I might meet a girl that I want to marry in that time though. What does everyone think? Thanks!

You may tell her you love her and can marry her because of your feelings towards her, not her money :). Then you'll see her reaction. Maybe actually the feelings will get back?

jmercurio@yahoo

I am 52 years old so please take the time to email back to me not only that you read my message but also let me know if you want to know more of my experience. Do not hurt yourself. Since you have already talked about marriage and its not happening, let her go. If she loves you, she'll be back. $70...000. Seventy thousand dollars, and...years of your life, is what it may end up costing you if you marry her for money. Find another Polish girl...who is serious about...you. And get married. I did. And my Polish wife would die for me. Literally. That is true marriage. All else is...lies. Do not waste your life. Not a moment.

This is the guy that started this topic originally. I also want to add that I now have the feeling that Polish women are not very sensitive. But correct me if someone has a different opinion. How could she talk marriage, kids, and living together and then just lose feelings. She then asks for fake marriage. It was like a slap in the face.

It's hard to tell without knowing the "story" of both sides. Maybe she's not your type? Maybe she's religious and you're not?

mmm- I respect your thoughts, but I don't think it takes 6 months to finally figure out, I'm not her type. Its interesting you mention religion. I went to Easter mass by myself when we were still dating. She was sort of a hypocrite as far as Polish are very religious. I am not the best Catholic, but she never went to church. I understand you would need to know both sides.

My former girlfriend broke up with me after almost 10 months; and I was thinking about our wedding day and honey moon. So it's better you know it before you got married; so in a way she is real about her feelings. You wouldn't like her to tell you she doesn't like you after you got married, would you?

lots of couples split after years being together and the decision is often triggered by one silly thing(or you may think is silly).wolud you be so silly not to notice that sometning is wrong-for 6 months?i think its possible to lose feelings to another person even after a long time together as i did to my previous girlfriend.one day you just realize she/he is not for you.fake marriage?well it is a deal you can go for it or not-i would not and saying that polish girls only do that is pathetic.a lot of girls in every country try to make their lives better and marry someone for various reasons(what about anna nicole-smith?)-show me what you drive/where you live/how much you earn etc and i will think whether to marry you or not.

regards
rafik

Hey, she just made-up all this crap that she likes you – she wants a citizenship to climb higher. You may need money to support her for few years anyway – so you will need at list $20 000 per year to keep her happy – be careful! $7 000 is a trap – you will wait for divorce at list 3 years, she will live, sleep, eat at your place after 9:00 am – you won’t see her at night! Trust me –I’ve been there!!! Say: goodbye and never look back – if you don’t want to waist your life.

Tlum

You're talking a whole lot of sense there my friend.
An ex of mine did what yours did. Hit me hard, as it was 2 years for me, but like you say, though it hurt like mad at the time, now I know that it was definitely better to find out before children and mortgage etc.

As for Guest, hmmm. It is ultimately your decision of course, but my 0.02€ on this issue are, especially as you do have feelings for this person, walk away.

I just think that if you do this marriage thing, there will be a little part of you hoping that it wasn't just for the citizenship or whatever and maybe she really does like you after all.

It would be setting you up for a lot of pain in the future if she got what she wanted and left without a second thought.

Protect yourself, nobody else will. :(

Hope i haven't come across too harshly.

Don't do it!!
First of all that is cheating. You're hurting not only yourself, but the American Goverment. After about 7,8 months of this "marriage", you get called into the immigration office to apply for a green card. Here they ask you very intimate questions about your marriage and personal stuff. Lot of times they know it's fake.

Then you have to be married to her 3 years in order for her to get her citizenship. If she doesn't pass her test, you will have to stay married longer.

You have to file your income tax together, because the uscis always looks at that.
Then if you meet someone else in the meantime, you would have to wait till you're divorced. You don't have the freedom to make a decission about your real wedding. And who knows how long the divorce process will take? Sometimes people wait half a year or longer. And that costs some money too.

And then depending in which state you live, you have to wait 6 months before you can re-marry again.

You will be stuck with her for a long, long time buddy. And what will you gain from it? You think that $7.000 is going to make you happy??? You will have nothing but pain and headaches from running from one embassy to another to another!!!

I believe to be happy in this life, one needs to be honest with others and mostly themselves. That being said, marriage is sacred and should be shared between 2 people who love each other and want to commit the rest of their lives to each other. Granted, many marriages end in divorce despite the best intentions of coming together in the first place, but to start a marriage you know will end in divorce is crazy! What if this woman decides to get pregnant---you will be supporting her long after the divorce, my friend. $7000 is chicken feed when you consider what you'll be spending over your lifetime on this person! Everyone deserves happiness and "true love," so don't waste your time with this girl. Be patient and I'm sure the right woman will come along! Good luck!

Angelia

I would look at this as on business proposal. She did like you. Now she deosn't like you. Now all you have to face is if the payment is worth your time and engagement and if the risks are not too high. Don't listen to moralists. You can cash in on government pappers and later or at the same time give your heart to someone you love without pen and pappers and state aproval. And since it is the polishforums why not giving a helping hand to a sister Pole? I would hike up the price though.

Well, it;s pretty tought specially when u got feelings involved.
Dont do it, that would cause you problems in the future if you see her with another guy.

OK. but let's look at another way. You are married. Then divorced. The whole world will know about this. Thanks to computers, you cannot hide this. It's a mark against you.

What if you meet the perfect girl and she loves you, but then you tell her about your little "deal". What will be her reaction to this?

And if you also have Polish citizenship and want to maintain it, or want to marry in poland, all your documents - marriage, divorce-would have to get translated into Polish and registered within the Polish goverment. That also takes time and money.

I say don't do it. It's stupid. You will be obligated to be with her for more than over 3 years. Don't let money fool you!!! Maybe the girl of your dreams will be richer than that!!!!

If you ever watched " M jak Milość" you will know what I'm talking about.

And then you have to keep pictures of you and her together in case of an unexpected visit from the uscic.
If you ever do meet that one, special girl, I don't think she would like a picture hanging on the wall of you with another woman.

I wouldn't.

Unless you still love this girl and she loves you, then it's a whole different story, of course.

It's been some time since you first posted. But if you're still wondering ...

Don't do it!

No amount of money can bring back the time that you'll be wasting away waiting for this marriage to end.

If you want to help someone, contact you local charity.

There are different ways of helping. If it means destroying your life, that is not help.
If somebody needs money, you can borrow them only so much, because if you give it all, you won't survive.
There are limits to everything.

I say dont do, like someone said taking money for marriage is not something a future g/f would be happy with, I wouldnt date someone who got married for money, I'd be appauled by it and you would only see the sparks on my heels!!!!

Dont do it Man! Theres tons of these girls in chicago you`ll wind up giving her back that
seven grand plus 1/2 of what you own after the divorce.

I was just reading some of your things. you correct. Not all Polish women are that religious. I was married to one for 8 years and sometimes they do get americanized. Hopefully they don't. I would never ever say anything bad about anyone regardless where they are from. We are all the same, just with different traditions and customs. I still love Polish women and would entertain marrying another Polish women. But, like women all over the world you cannot judge all on a few. On that note if there are any single nice Polish women out there that would like to date a single father with two daughters from Rockford e-mail me at tiwoods315@aim.com

oh my God it is like buying cattle. This polish girl has nothing at home the unemployment rate is 23 precent. So This is really about giving her the gift of our own ancestors. FREEDOM. If you want to give her that you will. If you don t you wont and nothing we say here can change your mind. My own Marta is working as a slave in Chicago. an indentured servant. She lives in a house owned by her boss. They take the rent out of her check. She is woken up at 6am to wash American Homes. Driven in a van filled with unfortunates like her trying to make it in USA with out that green card. She is then picked up taken to the next assignment. Americans turn the other way and are just glad the peanut butter is cleaned. Oh yes ,, these slop shops are owned by their own people POLS taking advantage of POLS> I am Irish American so my own people went through it with : IRISH NEED NOT APPLY:

Give me her name and number I will marry her.

I have seen these vans of which you speak of in Chicago.


This is also true I meet a girl that was in that position.
Fortunately shes away from those people and doing better.:)

Why would Poles want to go to the US and work in a sweatshop when They can come to the UK, Sweden and Ireland and be legal?

The US offers more opportunities than the UK. In the US you can become rich while there you just survive.

I know a Polish guy who married an American woman for a greencard. She wanted to make a real go of it, but for him it was just so he could stay there (she was 15 yrs older than him). He said he didnt pay her, but she helped him out a lot.. whatever that means?? He had lived there for 4 years and built up a successful business, but decided to go to Poland for one weeks holiday (he was still waiting for his green card) to see his children (he was divorced from his 1st wife in Poland) and basically when he came back, they wouldnt let him back in.. that was 18 months ago, and hes still waiting to get back to Florida. Anyway, just thought Id share this with you..

listen to krysia

That is bullcrap, there as many opportunities in say Britain and Australia for people to make something of themselves. it just involves a lot of hard work.

Agree with you there.

Utterly wrong. The only difference is that in the US you would be applauded for making a success of yourself but over here peoplr tend to resent your success. Hangover from the days of upper, middle and lower classes. Can't have the peasants making money and all that.

WOW, where exactly is this phenomenon taking place?