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All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same?


shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #1
cześć wszyscy
Story:
I am in relationship with a Polish girl Christian and somewhat religious, we were good friends for two years before we came close. She is 26 and i am 27. I am Muslim and very religious. I came for studies in europe where i met her and we became good friends, i was not interested in her at all more than that and she had a boyfriend that time. i went back home and got married, in the meantime she broke up with her boyfriend. My marriage didnt have a good start and before i cud consummate it broke because i came back to euorpe lolz. anyways i was virgin still. but then all of a sudden i started to come closer to this Polish friend of mine and she also cudnt stop, for me this was the first time i was closer to a woman ever as i was virgin and i never have been in relationship. Its a cultural thing i am not a bad looking guy :), the place i belong to has customs of arrange marriages.

So we came close and close and i started loving her with all my dedication and she showed somewhat similar passion but since she was my first woman i was very deeply involved. we both wanted to marry in the begining but then she went on vocations for 1 week with frnds and when she came back she said we should break up because our culture is different and we will never adjust. I was totally broken but some how i convinced her to stay with me and let the things happened on own. well then we spent time together and she wud freak out many times and i kept making her believe that we will do great and i sacrificed every difference between her and my culture so she wud stay, because i was deeply in love with and was very honest as she was my first love. but some how we had some fights again and everytime she wud feel more that we are different although the fights were not on cultural difference. now she is with me but she doesnot want to marry me ever. and now my heart has been broken so manytimes by her that i am loosing interest in her, but my love hasnt died it is still there and whenever she decides to marry me i will give her all my love. Good thing about her that i am the only guy who she really had been really physical and even with me she feels bad to do without marriage. I on the other hand was very religious and I was virgin but i left everything for her love. Cuz she was the first woman i kissed. and i kissed her to hold her forever.

Question:
My question to all Polish women, are you all heart breakers? if you dont think you cud live with a different religion or ethnic guy, why do you fall in love with them? Why do you make them believe in you? Is Love a game to you? or maybe you dont really know what love is. why are you so confused? i decided once that i wanted to be with her and i never changed and i will always love her even if she leaves me in the future, cuz i am honest and i will remain this way. but why are polish women so scared of real committments?

Its not like i cant live without her, offcourse i will survive but i will never love a woman like i love her. i will find someone else if she leaves me but will never be the same. but my point is that what is this stupid search for the right person in all europe about. the ratio of marriage has dropped to 5 per 1000 people, soon you will start to extinct. is there any culture or humanity left in europe and since its a polish forum so in Poland?

Love is no more in europe because most people are selfish! and love is not for the selfish hearts.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
22 Oct 2009 /  #2
Yours not a love. Neither yours nor hers. (however, no sure about hers as we didn't hear her side.)

Basic problem: (doesnt matter which religion.)

Religious people think love for god so much that they forget or don't know the love for human.
OsiedleRuda  
22 Oct 2009 /  #3
soon you will start to extinct. is there any culture or humanity left in europe and since its a polish forum so in Poland?
Love is no more in europe because most people are selfish! and love is not for the selfish hearts.

lol, if you keep on failing to consummate your marriages, you'll be extinct as well! :D

Maybe she found out why you couldn't consummate your marriage, haha
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #4
:D lolz i am no more a virgin,
her side of story is that, she has no problems with me she just thinks of the religious and cultural difference between us and thats why she wants to quit. she says no other reason.

I really love her and will always will. How can you say i dont love her??
nomaderol 5 | 726  
22 Oct 2009 /  #5
shaziluk - I really love her and will always will. How can you say i dont love her??

Respect to the attempt of your love from two different background. Both of you are humans. But, you say there were cultural and religious differences. So, your important loves, call them first loves if you prefer, were your gods then, not each other. Seperation unavoidable.
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #6
yes but i was always ready to commit and sacrifice the religious differences but she never even tried much. Its true that my first love was also God but it doesnot mean i cannot love human, infact Love of God makes you love humans more. I loved her like crazy and left everything for her even my religious values at many points but she was never convinced, maybe she doesnot know what love really is. i still am ready to sacrifice everything for her. i can goto the extreme end to make her believe my love. and i did many times, but she forgets and starts thinking the same.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
22 Oct 2009 /  #7
My guess. She has no religion. She probably wants you to leave your religion background aside. Your love is on your tongue. Just my guess.
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #8
Your guess is not accurate, actually she is really confused as far as i understand. She is human and has desires but she goes to church every saturday and sunday and wants to follow the religion and filling desires without marriage is not acceptable in religion, if you know what i am trying to say.

For me i am more spritually religious than anything else. For me religious text book stuff sacrifices for Love is not such a problem. for quite long we refrained from close physical relationship but finally we did and thats when she really freaked out and started feeling like bad as if she was a ***** or something, maybe because she thinks that she doesnot want to marry me and doing this with me.

for me i dont know why i never felt bad because i was always honest in loving her, so for me it was like being physical with her like if she was my wife.

One thing i dont understand, even if she leaves me, dont you think she will have the same problem with the next person and if that relationship will fail then what? when will it stop?

for me i can go back to my country and get married and stay married forever, since the divorce ratio is quite low and mine was the first in decades in my family, rare chance that it will happened again. But she belongs to eurpeon culture where the cycle doesnot stop, one person after another after another.

I will spend my life with the next girl i marry in my country most most likely. but for her what are the chances that she will find Mr.right ? iF you say as much as mine then u are wrong, because in my culture divorce ratio is 5 to every 1 lac people whereas marriage ratio in Poland is 5 to 1000 people. how can you find someone in this ratio to be your life partener?
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
22 Oct 2009 /  #9
shaziluk:

You seem to be a good and brave man.

Different religions don't have to be a huge problem in a relationship. It's very brave of you to sacrifice as much as you have done.

But it's up to everyone to decide how they feel about this. Maybe she just thinks that the religious differences are too big, or maybe she has other reasons too, that she doesn't want to tell you.

I'm sorry to hear this sad story. And I wish you good luck in the future!

But she belongs to eurpeon culture where the cycle doesnot stop, one person after another after another.

The divorce rate is much lower in Poland than in Western Europe.
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #10
SzwedwPolsce

Thanks alot, means a lot,
what i really wanted to say was that i really love her and am still very committed and i want to spend all my life with her even if i had to face discriminations at many places, but only if she loves me somewhat the same then only i can face her world.

For me falling in love for once is good enuff and i have given her all my love and that i have left inside me is only for her and no other woman will get it. i can live my life with another girl but just as a marital contract and will fill all the duties but i will never love another woman again, i really can not.

I guess this is my way of loving. I chose to love after 25 years of my life and i will not love another person like this way this easy. My love is not so cheap! :(

The divorce rate is much lower in Poland than in Western Europe.

the divorce rate is low because marriage ratio is low.
but the point is not this, point is by the time people decide to marry they have slept with atleast 10 to 20 people and then they marry, sorry but for me its inhuman its the same what animals do and of them many stick together and raise their children. but here in europe people break up on small fights and small differences. and they learn by the age of 35 that they are out of time and will get old soon so find someone to live life with, before that they are always immature in relationships and never damn serious because they are looking for more options until they have.

Let me tell you something, eurpeon men and women when they fall in first love they are dedicated and dont want to leave and they try hard to stay together but since they dont marry there is always stronger chance to break up and when they break up they find more people and then they naturally find themself with more options and they keep trying and when they are almost getting old they feel that the same as they were in first time in love, i.e. no other options. difference is that now they really dont have any option so they settle for less love and more compromised relationship and get married.

but i have seen many examples of Russian and German women who dedicated themselves for love and changed everything around when in love with different religion guys.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
22 Oct 2009 /  #11
Being a nonreligious person, i can say this only. It's hard to leave any background aside. Love helps on that. But, it seems you both are in platonic love. I too appreciate your bravehood. But, you need to cook yourself more. Also her. You may have to sacrifice years for that. The most don't do this. They just prefer to kill millions of humans for their biggest platonic love.
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #12
But, it seems you both are in platonic love.

Platonic love is a nice word to say but how long a relation can stay platonic. Many things shades the color of Love and make it dull but then one has to survive these hard times and find interests in the partner, and changing partners is not the solution.

They just prefer to kill millions of humans for their biggest platonic love.

Yes thats quite true, thats selfishness
OsiedleRuda  
22 Oct 2009 /  #13
I will spend my life with the next girl i marry in my country most most likely. but for her what are the chances that she will find Mr.right ?

That's none of your business, only hers.

iF you say as much as mine then u are wrong, because in my culture divorce ratio is 5 to every 1 lac people whereas marriage ratio in Poland is 5 to 1000 people. how can you find someone in this ratio to be your life partener?

I'm sure that you would have more than 1 divorce for 20000 people if you didn't make it so difficult for women to end marriages - I wonder why that is?

And where do you get the "5 in 1000" figure from? Marriage is still very popular in Poland; after all, it's a Catholic country. Islam and the Indian sub-continent doesn't hold exclusive rights over morality, but if your idea of "morality" is keeping women illiterate and imprisoned in violent marriages, then you can stuff your morals!
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
22 Oct 2009 /  #14
My question to all Polish women, are you all heart breakers? if you dont think you cud live with a different religion or ethnic guy, why do you fall in love with them? Why do you make them believe in you? Is Love a game to you?

oh ffs... and how much experience with Polish women do you have to be making such statements? just because you got involved with some Polish hussy who doesn't know what she wants doesn't mean all Polish girls are like her. maybe you are just an 'exotic experience' to her it does happen. that's why she can't give you a decent answer, because she doesn't love you and she wants to keep things casual. and now that you are certain that she will never marry you then why don't you do the right thing and leave her? or would you miss the sex too much? hypocrite. yeah very religious, course you are. pfft.

or maybe you dont really know what love is.

judging by your immature posts and statements on a level of a teenager i seriously doubt you know what love is. just because someone is shagging you doesn't mean they love you mate! brutal but true.
southern 75 | 7,096  
22 Oct 2009 /  #15
Again this interracial scam?Polish women try to behave smart but they always fall in the trap.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
22 Oct 2009 /  #16
but i have seen many examples of Russian and German women who dedicated themselves for love and changed everything around when in love with different religion guys.

Some people find their true love with someone from their own culture. Other people find their true love with someone from another culture.

And you shouldn't generalize about all people. I know many Europeans couples who found each other when they were < 25 years old, and are happily married for the rest of their life. Even if many people are divorcing... yes.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
22 Oct 2009 /  #17
shaziluk - Platonic love is a nice word to say but how long a relation can stay platonic. Many things shades the color of Love and make it dull but then one has to survive these hard times and find interests in the partner, and changing partners is not the solution.

I wouldn't use the word Love in your case also. Everybody uses it so easily that words have become unbelievables.

You said yours "first love"?
As long as your first loves stay in your minds, your relation will always stay platonic. Partners have to forget their first loves first. This first loves are biggest platonic loves. I doing brainwashing.
OP shaziluk  
22 Oct 2009 /  #18
That's none of your business, only hers.

offcourse its not my business but my point was general and i wasnt insulting her, its her life, i was discussing the approach of eurpeon people in general.

And where do you get the "5 in 1000" figure from? Marriage is still very popular in Poland; after all, it's a Catholic country. Islam and the Indian sub-continent

well you can search Polish official sites i found it there. its an statistical fact. and what islam and indian subcontinents deal with women is not relevant to this topic. infact if you must know i have always treated her very special and understanding to her culture, i sacrificed my cultural brought up for her. and she has done many favors to mme likely.

how much experience with Polish women do you have to be making such statements?

well i am one of the 2 3 cases infront of me now and of many with other euorpean women

judging by your immature posts and statements on a level of a teenager i seriously doubt you know what love is. just because someone is shagging you doesn't mean they love you mate! brutal but true.

well my post might look immature to those for whom sex is the purpose of relationship, i offered a lot more than sex, i offered committment sacrifices and long lasting and not giving up on her easy.

do the right thing and leave her? or would you miss the sex too much? hypocrite.

I love her too much to leave her. and for sex, i was the one who was unwiling for sex since start and not her, many times she offered but i refused because i didnt want pre marital sex and i knew that she cud feel bad after doing it, and as it happened when i gave up the resistance.

I know many Europeans couples who found each other when they were < 25 years old, and are happily married for the rest of their life. Even if many people are divorcing... yes.

well there must be but the ratio is very low and ignorable. when there are 5 to 1000 marriage ratio.

I wouldn't use the word Love in your case also.

If it wasnt love i wudnt have been so crazy abt her after 7 months, even if i am saying all the stuff it doesnot mean i hate her, its because i want to know why it is and how can i change her towards me more and more.

Partners have to forget their first loves first. This first loves are biggest platonic loves. I doing brainwashing.

for me she is my first love and i have forgetten any other form of love for her.<now brain washed :) completely! >

Again this interracial scam?Polish women try to behave smart but they always fall in the trap.

Actually they are still smart maybe we are fools to dedicate everything to them before testing them. and I am no scam, i still love her and with her and trying to make things better.
southern 75 | 7,096  
22 Oct 2009 /  #19
before testing them

Testing them for southern marks?Don't look at their teeth.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
23 Oct 2009 /  #20
i was discussing the approach of eurpeon people in general.

Then why chase after a European women? You seem to have a very low opinion.

Look, you said you would leave everything behind for this women, thats quite admireable, but its quite clear, that the cultural differences are too much for her. As you have said you could go home and find a women in your own country and live happily ever after, so why not leave the UK and do that.
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
23 Oct 2009 /  #21
My question to all Polish women, are you all heart breakers?

So if a Polish woman refuses to conform to your standards she's a heart breaker? Despite the outwardly loose approach to religion its a big thing for many Poles, if you're willing to drop it all for her, get a divorce, convert to Catholicism and try from there.

The way i see it you're a f*cking self centred hypocritical piece of shite (provided you're not a sock account) your entire posts screams "if she conforms to my standards i'll love her" which is typicall of the muslims really.

Newscast for you, if you indeed come from one of the goatloving states with arranged marriages et cetera then for a civilized European woman you could as well come from Mars, just being with you speaks volumes since i imagine the background you came from shows up in your everyday approach to women.

Leave her, leave Britain and get back to your country where you can find a woman who will accept you and everything you carry in your head, i sincerely doubt any civilized European girl can be happy with you long term.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
23 Oct 2009 /  #22
Sokrates, you are a scream :) One of those goat-loving countries, ROTFL. I only really know Albania that fits the Muslim billing and goat-loving too.

Fair points about religious tolerance. I'm glad my fiancee isn't Catholic. She respects Polish traditions and is a proud Pole for the right reasons. We enter into religious discussions without any real bias and a healthy respect for any rational position.
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #23
Love is no more in europe because most people are selfish! and love is not for the selfish hearts.

First and foremost - you really can not judge the whole Europe, not even the whole Poland, coz you had some bad experience with one woman. We don't know her side of the story, maybe there is something wrong with you, that she wouldn't cope with, who knows? Generalizing people like that shows that you're biased and closed-minded. Do you really think all polish women are the same? So are all muslims the same too?

secondly, why even whining about personal stuff of this sort on a public forum? It's pretty childish to me, since clearly you don't want to share your experience, but what you want to do is make people think that everyone in Poland is like your ex. And man, this is just wrong..

You need to realize that love not always equals happy ending and "happily ever after". In order to find the right person you need to interact with people, date.. Maybe you're just not THE ONE, why should she sacrifice everything and get into this relationship, if she has doubts or somehting. Fine, she shouldn't have slept with you, giving you false hopes. Apparently you were just unlucky to meet one of the "religious" people of Poland, who are running to Church every Sunday, coz they have big, nice bag of sins to redempt.

**** happens.
Move on.

I myself am a polish girl, non religious, married to a Korean, who comes from a totally different cultural background, and even though there are many differences, we never had a problem working them out, coz we really LOVE each other. So here your theory, about polish girls not being able to commit, fails.

My advice is: accept the fact that relationships sometimes fall apart, that's just life. Don't try to look for excuses and don't go around placing blame on Europeans (oh, bad bad europeans.. why did you go there then, huh?), their cultural or religious background, stats, or whatsoever. Be a man and take it as a man,k?

Look at the bright side.. at least you're not a virgin anymore :)
Pity though, they say if you wait it out till 30 you can do magic ;)

Cheers!
beckski 12 | 1,617  
23 Oct 2009 /  #24
My question to all Polish women, are you all heart breakers?

Yawn... I wish I had dime for every similar thread I've seen on PF.
mets2redsox0 - | 40  
23 Oct 2009 /  #25
I wish I had dime

what?, Mercury?, Barber?, Seated Liberty?. LOL!, no, I know, a "Bust Type Dime!"
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #26
So if a Polish woman refuses to conform to your standards she's a heart breaker? Despite the outwardly loose approach to religion its a big thing for many Poles, if you're willing to drop it all for her, get a divorce, convert to Catholicism and try from there.

try to read clearly plz, i am not offerring a religious fight here. I am not loosing my religion but i have no issues with hers, and i really really dont want to start on poles and their religion. who should i get divorce from? i am not married anymore, why shud i convert when i can adjust to both religions, my religion fortunately has the flexibility to absorb both jew and christianns, unlike poles.

entire posts screams "if she conforms to my standards i'll love her" which is typicall of the muslims really.

Its not true I never asked for any standards, I already love her a lot and even so many times she broke my heart and killed my passion i am still in love with her and trying to makeup. and please for God sake if you are an educated person use decent language, i am not here to fight but to share different opinions. mind it!

Leave her, leave Britain and get back to your country where you can find a woman who will accept you and everything you carry in your head, i sincerely doubt any civilized European girl can be happy with you long term.

You judge too fast. You have to know first what is civilization really is!, is sleeping with different people is civilization? is changing partners like clothes, filling self desires is that civilization? where people get drunk every night and make fools of themselves and others, where mother can be naked in sauna with her son is that civilization? where people think that sex is the purpose of life is that what you call civilization? My friend Europe is no more civilized, where people are living lives like animals surrounded by big buildings like cages, having all sorts of animal desires. If all this you call civilization then i really doubt your state of mind. Grow up think mature.

f you indeed come from one of the goatloving states with arranged marriages et cetera then for a civilized European woman you could as well come from Mars

As i said before many times that i never forced her to change her life style, so it really doesnot mattter how is my culture cuz i adjusted to her because i dont want to loose her.

Then why chase after a European women? You seem to have a very low opinion.

well my friend love can do wonders, I never wanted to date a eurpeon girl, we were just friends and i fell in love. cant come out of it easy

so why not leave the UK and do that.

Well i wud try my level best to keep her happy and stick with her as long as possible, atleast i wud not regret that i didnt tried for the woman i loved the most! :) she is love of my life.

Generalizing people like that shows that you're biased and closed-minded. Do you really think all polish women are the same? So are all muslims the same too?

You maybe right a bit but as i said i changed my self a lot and adjusted to her very much and i am still trying. I am not saying i am asking other polish woman that wud they have done the same to me if they were her. besides I am not the first case there has been many.

secondly, why even whining about personal stuff of this sort on a public forum? It's pretty childish to me, since clearly you don't want to share your experience, but what you want to do is make people think that everyone in Poland is like your ex. And man, this is just wrong.

I agree i am a bit whinny at times and this is post is quite childish, but when you dont have ears to listen to you do things like that, sorry about that. i dont want to say that everyone is like that i want to know is it always like that whenever diff religious people meet?

My advice is: accept the fact that relationships sometimes fall apart, that's just life. Don't try to look for excuses and don't go around placing blame on Europeans (oh, bad bad europeans.. why did you go there then, huh?), their cultural or religious background, stats, or whatsoever. Be a man and take it as a man,k?
Look at the bright side.. at least you're not a virgin anymore :)
Pity though, they say if you wait it out till 30 you can do magic ;)

Well i have accepted it already, but i am just analyzing the reasons why she freaked out when i was giving everything. so i came to think about eurpeon standards and i really found them like that and i guess i discussed them here. i am not saying that they are all bad but at most the euorpeopn culture is like that and has certain flaws. having said that i am not defending my culture either it has its flaws that we can discuss in a different topic.

and about virginity i am not happy to loose it, i cud have done it when i was 18. :) i am not ugly :)
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #27
If it wasnt love i wudnt have been so crazy abt her after 7 months, even if i am saying all the stuff it doesnot mean i hate her, its because i want to know why it is and how can i change her towards me more and more.

It seems you walked faster than her. Look behind. She is behind you and busy with her own god.

for me she is my first love and i have forgetten any other form of love for her.<now brain washed :) completely! >

First love of everybody is god love. Majority of people think this: If their first love is same god, marriage togethership possible as they will think the same god when doing sex. This becomes sex with a witness. There are some like you who think the different gods help sex. It becomes sex of gods. And, there is reality sex. Biggest god is there in bed. Money. This becomes sex of whors (women and men) in that you hear this: Again?, moooreeee. (I doing brainwashing mooreee.)
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #28
well i wud now like to end the thread since the purpose has changed. End of the story, i just wanted peoples opinion about the cross religious\ cross culture relationships nothing else and some helps how to convince my lady to stay with me longest possible and not to hurt anyone else. Maybe there are wiser brains there, i am just an honest lover who wants to keep loving one woman and didnt want to switch persons. I hope people wud try to understand. i went into your system to know you guys if you want to understand mine you wud have to blend in mine as well and mere informations from different sources is not enuff. tonight i will close this thread, thanks all for replying.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #29
well i wud now like to end the thread since the purpose has changed. End of the story, i just wanted peoples opinion about the cross religious\ cross culture relationships nothing else and some helps how to convince my lady

Your purpose wasn't to get a help about cross thingy relationships? I do true help.
No need to fear. No fear in true love.

Anyway, cross religious/culture relationships have a better chance to close the gaps, but, much more difficult. If you can say humans are humans everywhere, you put a real step ahead.
King Sobieski 2 | 716  
23 Oct 2009 /  #30
so, let the forum get this straight, she has tried numerous times to end this relationship but YOU have talked her out of it all the time.

those questions are redundant in the light of the facts.

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