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All Polish girls are like that? If you were her would you do the same?


OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #31
yes indeed she tried but i am here analyzing why she is doing so, when she loved me so much in the beginning and after 2 months when she went to vocation she changed her mind. why? and while doing that everytime she is crying like hell. what are the reasons which makes a person do such things, is it cultural , religious or personal. For me so far i understood is the brought up of culture and society that effects a lot on everyone and if it is so then what are the wrongs of the society.

Plus having to know that all i can help myself to adopt the rights that i think are wrongs but are actually right if i am convinced, so to make myslef more closer to her and make her stay with me longer.

I am just doing all this to get her love me more, because everytime she comes back to me she forgets the past and starts loving me so passionately, but as soon as there is some issue she starts thinking the same **** again.

maybe polish people cud help me understand a bit about her thats all.
rjeden - | 29  
23 Oct 2009 /  #32
I hope still they are like that and don't marry muslim.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #33
It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom. A. Einstein.

Poor Einstein.
King Sobieski 2 | 716  
23 Oct 2009 /  #34
mate, for whatever reason (of which only she knows), she has numerous times voiced her displeasure in the relationship and you have talked her out of it.

you are the guilty one here for not cutting your losses and moving on.

and just like every person where you come from doesnt have the same values and ideals, this polish girl isnt representative of all polish women.

if you're so good at talking her into staying in a relationship you should use those skills to find out the real reason she doesnt want to be with you. not asking a forum.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #35
Shaziluk, a hint. Her parents. They are not two, everywhere.
southern 75 | 7,096  
23 Oct 2009 /  #36
when she went to vocation she changed her mind. why?

Because she met the balkan stuff.
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #37
I hope still they are like that and don't marry muslim.

Because she met the balkan stuff.

get a life dude! i am just being polite doesnot mean i cant reply stupid comments, i am having a serious conversation.

you are the guilty one here for not cutting your losses and moving on.

I agree but why to make somebody so interested in you when you want no long relationship? why replying love again and again then getting confused and falling back.

I read in one thread from a person with 10 years experience with different polish girls, he said "they can not stand for themselves" i kinda getting agreed to this comment.

not asking a forum.

i guess you have not much experience wih girlz either dude, they will never say the real reason ever, infact i know the real reason and that i have discussed above about the euorpeon culture, i just want to confirm it by posting on the forum.

the reason to post on the forum are 2
1= to get help from polish people by understanding the nature of their society.
2- If my values are wrong then why? if hers are then why? and how can she be convinced 3- Moving on is not impossible, ofcourse i can but i dont want to for the reason that i loved her and secondly give me a sensible reason to give up, and not the cultural crap when i have sacrificed and accepted all her culture.

Plz try to understand and be real, any ways i will end soon. and remove the thread
southern 75 | 7,096  
23 Oct 2009 /  #38
i am having a serious conversation.

Get a goat and your problems will be solved.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #39
If my values are wrong then why? if hers are then why? and how can she be convinced

What's not wrong where everythings in world wrong?
You are trying to find a clean hand in marsh?
A Polish proverb i like. One hand washes the other hand.
But, first, wash your own hand. I see she can't do this at the moment.
Maybe, you can. But, you are a coward.
King Sobieski 2 | 716  
23 Oct 2009 /  #40
i guess you have not much experience wih girlz either dude

ok casanova, i will leave you to languish in your own squalor.
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #41
Get a goat and your problems will be solved.

i really think you have some obsession with a goat, i see you comment this a lot in many other forums, i guess it solved your problems!

But, first, wash your own hand. I see she can't do this at the moment.
Maybe, you can. But, you are a coward.

I am not coward, When i decide i take action, but i take considerable time and research and experience before i take a decision.
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
23 Oct 2009 /  #42
sleeping with different people is civilization?

No, its called sex. Btw did you know that approximately 40% of muslim men had a homosexual experience? Basically your civilization represses your natural instinct and makes you fags.

As i said before many times that i never forced her to change her life style, so it really doesnot mattter how is my culture cuz i adjusted to her because i dont want to loose her.

But you're expecting she will eventually and then you can love her so very very much, apparently though she has some survival instinct, good for her.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #43
I am not coward, When i decide i take action, but i take considerable time and research and experience before i take a decision.

Cowardice isn't about the action. Think. Bush is so brave that he showed he could kill millions of people, but, also shown that he was scared by a small shoe thrown onto his face.

Cowardice is in the mind. It's about the fear of "first love."

(You are still braver than many people including her.)
Moonlighting 31 | 234  
23 Oct 2009 /  #44
shaziluk

You say that you are ready to sacrifice your religious rules for the love of this girl. Considering your presentation of the story in your first post, I believe you are sincere. But it won't work. You say that because you are so desperate to lose her, still under the emotional shock of losing your first love, and first sex. You're suffering and we all can understand it.

However sacrificing your religious beliefs basically means renouncing your culture! How can you do that? It's your identity, it's what shapes your behaviour in life, and how you consider many things in society including relationship to the spouse. You come from a extremely traditional background (arranged marriages etc...). You won't be able to adapt. It's too big a change. It's a radical change that nobody could succesfully and entirely handle.

Imagine for a second that she changes her mind and accepts to come back to you because you promised to change and adapt to our European and Christian way of considering and doing things. You can make an effort at the beginning but very soon you will be frustrated. You will not be able to be yourself. In the long term you will not be happy. And your relationship will fail anyway.

So, even if it hurts, better do what everyone does after a first breakup: get over it. be courageous, accept the fact that there is more than one fish in the sea, and try meeting a new girl. And meet one coming from your culture. If you want to escape the excessively traditionalist environment where you come from, why not try another Muslim country, less traditional, but still in the overall culture that fits yours.

You know, even relationships between a European Christian girl and a Muslim man who was born or grew up in Europe (meaning he's been used to grow up with both cultures in parallel) isn't easy. It fails in most cases. And, well, even between us Europeans there are differences: Slavs, Latins, Scandinavians... cultural differences are there, and often bigger than we think.

Regards.
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #45
shaziluk:
i am having a serious conversation.

Get a goat and your problems will be solved.

You get a brain and some respect for other people. If you don't have anything smart to say than just stay away from the thread and don't offend other people. You're making a clown of yourself man!

I agree with Monlighting, cultural/religious differences are pretty hard to overcome, it always involves lots of compromises, but when there's only one person willing to sacrifice (clearly she is not), then it's bound to go wrong.

Moreover I do not think she actually loves you, for I think if she would, she would at least try to work it out. From a girls perspective.. - we do usually follow our hearts, I for example married a Korean man and moved to Canada to live with him, and now I'm adapting to Korean culture and way of thinking, BUT - he is doing the same thing for me, he learns how to speak polish, he puts lots of effort into getting to know my country of origin and its culture. So in my opinion, as long as there are two people who are willing to compromise and work on the relationship, it doesn't have to be a struggle, but a wonderful journey.

In your case, I think you're the one who loves with all heart, and she.. well, maybe she doesn't love that much. Not as much as to overcome all the differences. From what you're saying I think she played you, you had a fling, not a LOVE going on there.

BUT, whatever we say here it's just all guessing, we might be right, we might as well be wrong, so it's best to ask her. She is the only one who can give you the answer.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry this happened to you. You seem to be a nice guy.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #46
EvieSeo, may I ask this if you don't mind. You and your Korean partner are giving out of yourselves and learning things (cultural, language, etc) of each others. I understand this well. But, where is your meeting point? (understand heart meet, but, in mind?)

Ps:
I asked you, so, i should give info a little about me.
I am a purely socialist single man, in all sense, with no gf, yet.
(so, no need to mention any identity/label.)
I enjoy different cultures for fun and joy, but, not adopt any label to myself.
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #47
Moonlighting
Well you gave the first most sensible reply thanks a lot. you are very right about things and i actually know all these things but its really hard to see these things when you are in love. and even if i know it has 95% failure and 5% chance of success, i still want to give it a try because i really love her alot and i am still with her yet and we are still together.

You are right to say that i cant leave all my traditions but i can compromise few things to make life better with her. I am not adopting everything for example i dont drink or eat pork and she rarely drinks too.

anyways i trust in self happening of things alot and now i will not force her this time if she freaks out or decides to break up.

regards
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #48
EvieSeo, may I ask this if you don't mind. You and your Korean partner are giving out of yourselves and learning things (cultural, language, etc) of each others. I understand this well. But, where is your meeting point? (understand heart meet, but, in mind?)

You mean a so called "common ground"? Well, practically everything we do, we enjoy together. If I am ying, he would be my yang ;) We met, for we both love travelling, and this is how it started, then we enjoyed travelling together for many years. We went to Asia together, drove across Canada (road trip), visited Poland, Czech and other places..

We love camping out, we both enjoy cooking (actually we plan to open up a restaurant together). For me, he is more like a long lost part of me, rediscovered all over again, when I met him, so when you ask me what is the meeting point, it's just hard to descibe, for we don't have to meet in a point, we're just one.

It's hard for me to understand how two people can love each other and still put cultural differences or religion over the partner, it can not be a TRUE love I think.

The trick is to enjoy discovering each others backgrounds and culture, not be prejudiced and biased from the step one of relationship. We're both excited about this stuff, I enjoy Korean culture (movies, music, food, language, people), he feels the same about Polish..

That's why it works.

Sorry about the offtop.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #49
EvieSeo, I see. Travellings, campings, cookings, different cultures, joys, funs. All good happy things are your "common grounds" where you meet actually. I'd love to do all such things when (if) i have this silent girl as gf. But, when I think more I see also problems surrounding our potential togethership. Do you think your togethership will continue when you face some problems? You can't always stay away problems around and can't always have such happy times as you are having now, can you.
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #50
Hah, man, you don't even know how much we went through together, seriously! Not only joys, as it might have sound, but many problems, but not problems between us, but usually facing problems together, i.e. my status in Canada (the whole paperwork and problems with that), money problems, deciding about the future, which path to take and so on.

However he always stands by my side when I need him, supports me and so on, and I do the same for him. I support his studies, his work, his decisions. I mean, that's the whole point of being in relationship, right?

We did have some small misunderstandings at the beginning - somethimes we fought, but we always talked it out and so far it works.
No relationship is flawless, but it's up to people how they deal with that.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #51
EvieSeo, people have "common grounds" mostly due to bad experiences/problems that they have lived in the past. You look like you "two" isolated yourselves from the community. I'd love to do that, either. But, somehow, some community problems coming and pulling my legs and i then trying to find another ground. And, you know my ground. When people face such hard problems they feel they are in marsh and they mostly do easy simple things and hold already available branch such as religion, nation, etc etc to protect themselves as and in a community.
southern 75 | 7,096  
23 Oct 2009 /  #52
Two polish kochanie in my bed.To love the right one or the left one?This is the question.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #53
Eh, you know you love the middle one.
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #54
EvieSeo, people have "common grounds" mostly due to bad experiences/problems that they have lived in the past. You look like you "two" isolated yourselves from the community. I'd love to do that, either. But, somehow, some community problems coming and pulling my legs and i then trying to find another ground. And, you know my ground. When people face such hard problems they feel they are in marsh and they mostly do easy simple things and hold already available branch such as religion, nation, etc etc to protect themselves as and in a community.

I wouldn't say that we isolated ourselves from the community. We do have both Korean and Polish friends, on top of that Chinese, Canadian and many other.. My parents love Jae (my husband) and accept him, we never had any problems. Jae's parents like me too (I hope^^), we spent summer together, went camping and so on.. So no, we're not isolated.

But if you'd ask me if we care what other ppl think - no, if someone has a problem with us being together, we don't give a sh**, it's our life, right?
southern 75 | 7,096  
23 Oct 2009 /  #55
But how can I claim then it is mine?
Ah,these crazy polish girls.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #56
I wouldn't say that we isolated ourselves from the community. We do have both Korean and Polish friends, on top of that Chinese, Canadian and many other.. My parents love Jae (my husband) and accept him, we never had any problems. Jae's parents like me too (I hope^^), we spent summer together, went camping and so on.. So no, we're not isolated.
But if you'd ask me if we care what other ppl think - no, if someone has a problem with us being together, we don't give a sh**, it's our life, right?

Definitely. Your togethership isn't/mustn't be a problem for anyone. I meant you isolated yourselves from community problems. For example, right now, there is a global economy crisis all over the world lasting for a year. Does this have any affect in your togethership? When I think of such things with my gf (potential anyway) I feel I need to think and agree also on such things and feel a need of common ground in advance before being together.
OP shaziluk  
23 Oct 2009 /  #57
Two polish kochanie in my bed.To love the right one or the left one?This is the question.

One is kochanie is a gay boy one is a girl which way wud you turn to lolz
EvieSeo - | 7  
23 Oct 2009 /  #58
Definitely. Your togethership isn't/mustn't be a problem for anyone. I meant you isolated yourselves from community problems. For example, right now, there is a global economy crisis all over the world lasting for a year. Does this have any affect in your togethership? When I think of such things with my gf (potential anyway) I feel I need to think and agree also on such things and feel a need of common ground in advance before being together.

No, it doesn't affect us anyhow, except for maybe we both complain sometimes, but it's more like just discussing the economy and so on, we don't let it get in between us.

I think you need to build a relationship from ground up, with strong ground level, so in case of a storm, the structure won't be shaken. If you'll find the right girl, who will stand by you, there won't be any problem, doesn't matter what the situation is (at least outside of your relationship).

However these days it's really hard to find the right person, people seem to be pursuing all the wrong things in their life. They also tend to blaim each other for whatever bad happens to them, and this is a wrong approach to relationship.
nomaderol 5 | 726  
23 Oct 2009 /  #59
I think you need to build a relationship from ground up, with strong ground level, so in case of a storm, the structure won't be shaken.

Exactly so. A relationship must have a strong ground, will resist to storms, earthquakes, etc. Togethership in happy times is easy. Actually, my only ground where I'd like to meet with my long term gf is economy, or better to say, model of economy. We need a common agreement about this in advance. All the rest is easy.
southern 75 | 7,096  
23 Oct 2009 /  #60
i really think you have some obsession with a goat

After reading the Quran it seems to me that the goat is the reward to Allah faiths.

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