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Getting Engaged to Polish girl, asking permission from her dad?


Ajb 6 | 232  
16 Jul 2008 /  #1
I was looking for some info, im a english guy and i want to propose to my polish girlfriend in september when we go on holiday, i was wondering if you have ask permission from her dad before we get engaged or if it is just before the marage day..

also do u think i will beable to do this over the phone as we are not going back to poland before jan now...

cheerss
EbonyandBathory 5 | 249  
16 Jul 2008 /  #2
Well, there might be a specific custom in Poland but I would say it is ALWAYS a must to ask the father before you propose. So definately do so. If there is no way to do it in person, I suppose over the phone would be acceptable. Perhaps a hand written letter requesting permission? Definately send flowers to the parents. And good luck.
VaFunkoolo 6 | 654  
17 Jul 2008 /  #3
I was looking for some info, im a english guy and i want to propose to my polish girlfriend in september when we go on holiday, i was wondering if you have ask permission from her dad before we get engaged or if it is just before the marage day..

Its probably a good idea to sit down with the dad and discuss her dowry, how much he is going to cough up for you to take her off his hands, before you go to the expense of buying a ring etc
OP Ajb 6 | 232  
17 Jul 2008 /  #4
Well he dosent speek any english and i just started learning
polish so could be tricky, Thanks for the advice though
miranda  
17 Jul 2008 /  #5
Well he dosent speek any english

maybe a note in Polish would be a good idea if you still want his official approval.
benszymanski 8 | 465  
17 Jul 2008 /  #6
Brilliant move. I am sure they will really appreciate it. Good to have your future out-laws on side from the start too.
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
18 Jul 2008 /  #7
he dosent speek any english

Does he have someone in Poland who can translate a letter written in English? That's probably your best bet if there is.

Even if you write in English, you might receive your reply in Polish so is there someone other than you girlfriend who can translate for you?

Whatever way you go about it, you'll earn points for asking her Father first ;)

Good luck. :)
Svenski 1 | 159  
18 Jul 2008 /  #8
maybe a note in Polish would be a good idea if you still want his official approval.

So can someone here translate this simple note in Polish? (Or maybe have a better suggestion on what else to include in such a note?)

" Dear Mr _______

I am seeking your approval to marry your beautiful daughter _________ You can rest assured that I will love and take care of her as much as you have all these years :-) .....
McCoy 27 | 1,275  
18 Jul 2008 /  #9
You can rest assured that I will love and take care of her as much as you have all these years :-)

nice said unless you're proposing to Josef Fritzls daughter
OP Ajb 6 | 232  
18 Jul 2008 /  #10
i can get my polish teacher to help me, thank you guys! lots of advice!
miranda  
18 Jul 2008 /  #11
lots of advice!

nice card or a writing paper would add some more points;)
Switezianka - | 463  
18 Jul 2008 /  #12
Its probably a good idea to sit down with the dad and discuss her dowry, how much he is going to cough up for you to take her off his hands, before you go to the expense of buying a ring etc

LMAO. That killed me! ROTFL!!!

OK, not to make fun of Ajb, I give my opinion, i.e. a Polish girl's opinion:
If a Polish guy asked my father for permission to marry me, I'd feel rather offended. As an adult person, it is I and only I who decides about such things. Why would a grown-up women need to ask daddy for permission, even a symbolic one?

If a foreigner did it, I'd forgive him (you must make allowances for foreigners getting strange ideas about our culture...)

For me, the acceptable scenario is: a guy proposes to me, I accept and then, we officially inform our parents about our decision, together. A party, during which the parents of the young couple would meet, would be a very good idea. Of course, I'd rather my parents knew him before they learn we get married.

We have 21st century and nowadays women decide who they marry themselves. They are no longer a property that goes from a father to a husband.
EbonyandBathory 5 | 249  
18 Jul 2008 /  #13
The permission, Switezianka, is just to ask. The decision to marry the poor schlub is still yours. It's not, "Hey, Pops, I'm going to marry your daughter. Cool with you?" It's, "I'd like just your permission to ask the question." The girl still decides.
ndrew - | 12  
18 Jul 2008 /  #14
hehe what alternatives does the pop have. If he disallows because he hardly knows you, then write back and say ooops sorry I was just being polite, but then I think we can mange it without your permission anyway... :)
plk123 8 | 4,150  
18 Jul 2008 /  #15
Its probably a good idea to sit down with the dad and discuss her dowry, how much he is going to cough up for you to take her off his hands, before you go to the expense of buying a ring etc

lol. u'v been on a roll bud.

We have 21st century and nowadays women decide who they marry themselves.

bingo

They are no longer a property that goes from a father to a husband.

but let's not fool ourselves either.
PolskaDoll 28 | 2,105  
19 Jul 2008 /  #16
If a Polish guy asked my father for permission to marry me, I'd feel rather offended

Personally, I wouldn't feel offended. It's a nice tradition that a guy should inform a Father of his honourable intentions towards his daughter. After all he's only informing the Father of the intention to ask the daughter. It's still the daughter who says yes or no.
popems 3 | 15  
25 Oct 2008 /  #17
So someone answer the guy! There may be more us us who want to know how to say. "I've come to ask for your daughters hand in marriage."
MrG 1 | 13  
25 Oct 2008 /  #18
They are no longer a property that goes from a father to a husband.

I agree. i didnt ask Kasia's dad if i could marry her. he would say no lol. but she said yes and we are the happiest couple ever =]
gtd 3 | 639  
25 Oct 2008 /  #19
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for her parent's blessing. Of course I would ask her first and talk about this with her. But the parents will surely respect this gesture.

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