Hi everyone, i've never posted on a forum before and I'm sure i'll suffer some backlash from it.
I am a female who has been in a relationship with a polish girl for 8 months, we catch up all the time and we have the best time together, I really thought she was the one, I know it sounds cliched but I dont fall in love easily and have. I always knew she was closeted and frightened to come out to her family so I was being patient, she finally told me last week she's married and can't leave her husband as she's sponsoring him for Permanent residency. She wants me to be patient and give her 3 months and then we'll live together. My question is, is this typical behaviour to be so dishonest, to me and her husband? I made plans for valentines day 6 weeks ago, she's just told me she needs to leave early as her husband wants to see her, am I being a pathetic female who's being taken advantage of? It's never felt like I was having an affair up until this point, we spend every weekend together even though he's home, and catch up during the week as well. I always knew about him as he's the father of their child but thought they were friends not married, she apparently doesnt live there all week. Hope this makes sense. Oh she also says they havent had sex for over a year, if thats relevant!! THanks for reading
Why should you suffer any backlash? You haven't done anything wrong (although with hindsight you may have been slightly naive).
Is it typical for Polish women to be so dishonest? No more so than it is for women of other nationalities. The only difference between Polish women and women of certain nationalities is that Polish women (especially ones from smaller towns/cities) tend to feel the pressure of society rather more. It could very well be that your girlfriend got married because she needed a beard (or whatever the male version is).
I think you'd do a lot better having a very long, serious, frank and honest conversation with her than you would posting here.
Thanks Harry and Plk123
I really appreciate you taking the time to reply, yes I agree I've been very naive, we caught up today and cleared up alot of stuff, it must be hard being in a foreign country, married, a strict catholic and then fall in love with someone the same sex, so I'll provide her with the emotional support of friendship while she sorts through her situation and forgive her for not being honest I guess, or perhaps I'm just being too damn naive again!!!Lol
Anyway I guess you never really know someone, I'll live and learn!!!
Don't pressure the poor girl. That's asking a lot of someone. Gays often view others who are not out as problematic, as an obsticle to overcome. While there may be good reason for her to feel as she does. And right now it is who she is. It is her choice, not some inconvienient problem for you to try and get her to correct to suit you.