Foreigners in relationships with Poles - do your in-laws accept you?

I am interested to hear from people in Polish/non Polish relationships about attitudes of their Polish in-laws. Of course every case is different, but I want to know about any problems that you face being accepted by Polish in-laws because of cultural/religious differences, especially if you are already or planning on getting married.

In my own experience.. My partner's family seem to be of the opinion that all English people change relationships frequently and are therefore unlikely to stick around for the longer term. .just wondered if others had encountered similar or other probs?

the same with me mate my girlfriends mom also think I will run away with the next preatty polish girl that come by my way .

I see you are Brazilian. How long have you been together?

4 monthes only but mom does like me i guess she is just s bit worried .

In my case I was the Polish one and he was non-Polish. My parents didn't think he was good enough but they never did anything to interfere. But his mom wanted him to date someone of his own race. She used to put Holy Water out when I was at their house because I was an evil threat. And she took him places where he could spend time with other young women of their race. Like friends' houses or birthday parties or the stores where they worked. I don't intend to get involved with anyone from a different race again.

Are you serious? Holy water!!! what nationality was he?

My ex was a Pole, her mum absolutely hated the fact her daughter was with a Brit. She tried everything to split us up. Telling her that our culture was too different, that I probably had a wife and kids and wasn't telling her about it...the list goes on and on. She won in the end.

oh dear.. well thanks for that. I know that I will never be accepted by the family.. suppose it doesnt help that he left his Polish wife for a non Catholic English woman..

Im sorry to hear things didnt work out for you Huegel. Polish mothers do seem to have a strong influence on their childrens relationships.. more so than english in my opinion.

Well, I'm the opposite.

They make me feel like 100% part of the family. I have better acceptance than any of my partner's previous partners had including her ex husband. All of her previous partners were polish. All of them cheated on her.

In case you didn't know, Polish men have a terrible reputation for drinking & cheating.
Irishmen just have a terrible reputation for drinking:)

Jokes aside though, I can't say I ever had a problem with any elderly polish people. They are extremely well mannered and highly cultured in my experience. The only poles I've had a problem with have been aged 30-45 (around 15-20 during the breakup of the USSR I suppose), involved in crime and I would guess they didn't have much 'choice' in leaving Poland and coming to Ireland.

Her family always make me feel very welcome and often make me feel like I'm a big success. Also, they are thrilled that I make such hard effort to learn Polish, but above all I suppose they are just glad that their daughter has someone who loves her and looks after her, no matter what country shes in.

ah, thats nice to hear.. thanks. .. and yes, I know that many Poles drink and cheat... but so do many Brits too. Good luck to you both.. I hope one day my potential in-laws may accept me. His brother and wife have, although Ive yet to meet them.. so guess thats a start. The irony is that his mother hated his wife and thought she wasnt good enough for him, but now theyve become best buddies..

Hi Jim from England here I am a 38 year old male and I have been dating a 24 year old Polish girl for just under a year now ! As far as I know her parents dont know about me. She is super keen on me and vice versa ! Whenever I ask about them she changes the subject. I have been to Krakow to stop with her a couple of times but still never met them. We both talk about being together all the time !

Anyone else with similar problems or overcome similar problems ?????

Any replies can be addressed to james.cardwell2@btinternet.com if you wish to reply ???

oh my god.....! shame on you you are 38 & dating a 24 years old girl... grow up man

lol....leave the man be, if they love each other thats all that matters.

haven't you seen : "Legacy of Steel" ? that movie not teach you anything?

I haven't really got to the stage of meeting the inlaws as most of the Polish girls i've been with have been around 20. So they're usually only around for a few weeks and then when i go back to England it kind of dies out. They end up having to study all the time plus the fact that I don't like telephone relationships.

I don't really like things this way though. Deep down I want to have a meaningfull relationship, I am 27 afterall.

What I need is a Polish girl that lives in England.

I'm chatting to a girl at the moment who'es coming to the UK. She's a little bit older than me, I met her in Warsaw 2 months ago and we get on well. It's looking promising, she's self sufficient and owns her own house.

dont be such a prude!! YOU need to grow up!! i think secretly you are jealous that you are either single& lonely or in a cold&bitter&loveless relationship/marriage.

I myself am 38 and dating a 25 yearold totally beautiful inside and out Polish girl. I am completely nuts about her. We live in the same city here in PL, but only see eachother once a week, but Tlen & sms everyday.

I feel that she could be the girl i want to marry since the day i met her. She has her own business, and is going to be very successful, just like mama & tata.

but that aside......it is funny that when i asked her if her parents asked anything about me.... she changes the subject too. I'm doing my best to learn polish... so i will be able to communicate with her parents. I know the meeting will be one day.

I am 23, she is 23 (she is 2 months older)

We love each other. I am Irish, she is Polish. Her family were very warm and welcoming on the few occasions i have stayed with them.

The funny thing was, that all her friends would ask her (she told me) was I a catholic. i dont like that, i was raised a catholic but i would never let that hinder my love. Nor her's but she just said it was funny and typical polish reaction, i guess i cant blame them, I know it was an Irish atitude too.

It's a distance relationship at present. She is finishing her masters and i my degree and accountantcy exams. We hope to live together then. But my family and her family have been so welcome, supportive and for lack of better words - family!

Love, has no boundries. I believe this and am living this.

My grandmother would kill me for dating an infidel :)

Good to know. :)


If one partner is of a different faith I guess it can complicate getting married. One would have to choose in which faith to do it, but that doesn't mean that Poles wouldn’t go for it. Why do you automatically presume that we are against such marriages?

i didnt presume anything, I cannot see where you got that conclusion from

I merely said that that is what her friends asked and it was funny! as neither of us, it would not matter as we love each other

and you dont have to 'choose' a faith to be married, you can just get married in a registry office without the interference of religion at all!

:)

From this statement:



True. :)

eh, my statement doesnt say that i presume YE are against such marriages.

i dont like that, that they felt I had to ask what faith i was, as they would have made a judgement about me, without ever having met me and THAT is what i dont like.

Im sure you can appreciate prejudice :)

Judgments? Why do you think they would judge you and not just want to know a little bit more about you?

Give over - we all make judgements based on what little info we get and first impressions take ages to over-write. Ever met a person you just disliked from minute one but years later your best of pals!

As human beings - we catergorise, label and make judgements without intending or meaning too. We apply defaults, preceptions on experiences, past instances in a nano second

its behavioral science baby!

Very true, and my point here was to actually show you that it was you who judged those girls here for certain, and not the other way around. I'm sure that your girlfriend told you that her friends asked about a lot of things: what is the color of your eyes, the color of your hair, are you muscular, what are your hobbies, etc... I bet that the religion related question was just one of many, but still it managed to make you jump into some conclusions. People have the tendency to hear what they want to hear. Poles have the opinion to be conservative and ultra-catholic (whatever that means). There is something to it. It's true we are generally more religious than westerners but we are more liberal then you think. We never experienced a major religion conflict so there is no negative stereotype about protestants whatsoever. The question about your faith was more than likely triggered by curiosity than a need to judge people. Just my 2p worth. :)

uk maybe it is you that wants to grow up ! The young lady in question came looking for me not the other way round ! I read one of your other postings and as I remember it was you looking for a Polish woman !!!!!!!!!!!! SAD desperate little man !! Someone like you does not deserve to find happiness unfortunately.

As I said she found me and we are both so happy we speak to each other for at least 1 hour every day. mine is the first voice she wants to hear every morning !!!!!

Saddo UK SHOULD BE YOUR NAME


Thankyou for your vote of confidence !!! He does need to grow up and smell the coffee ! Maybe he has never found or experienced love !!! What a shame ?

I think the older generation of Poles mabey sceptical of Brits becuase there is some nasty stories going back about Poles being exploited etc. Also under communism, people were conditioned into not trusting people from the west. So its deep rooted in many ways....

ffs!!!

wtf is wrong with that???? It's only 13 years difference. One of my exes is 13 years older than me. And my dad was 22 years older than my mum, but if anyone dared to insult my parents by calling my dad "a dirty old man", I'd beat them up.

Someone 12 years younger than me was chasing ME not so long ago. I didn't start it, and in fact, I'd managed to keep away for 9 months. But my next date is likely to be with someone 9 years older than me. What's wrong with that? Well, apart from the fact that she probably can't have more kids, and I want some. :D

Anyway, back to the OP. It's all about compatability, not age! Besides, men are probably about 5 years too immature, and women are probably about 5 years more mature (or so I'm told), so it's a bit like a 29 year old going out with a 33 year old really innit. ;)

You bet !! How true is that statement :) Very, very true......:(

My relations always told me that I would only be settled when I found myself a Polish husband. Nothing else would do <grin>

i was dating a polish guy in canada and his parents hated me because i was polish too (go figure that one out). in their minds polish girls in canada are sluts and their son was not to be with one. too bad, he was a nice guy but cared too much what his parents had to say.

^^^^^^^^
That's what I was told. And I did. :)

Left me for someone English though, didn't she. :D