Return PolishForums LIVE
  PolishForums Archive :
Archives - 2005-2009 / Love  % width 79

I had a Polish female friend. Horror in my mind...


Magdushya 3 | 104  
2 Mar 2007 /  #31
good that you are caring person, but leave it for person which is worth your feelings :) i hope you'll find right one!!!:)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
2 Mar 2007 /  #32
So here is my question, what is up with this girl?? Please don’t tell me all Polish girls are like this?

No, all Polish girls are not like that. Her behavior sounds a lot like someone who was sexually abused as a child, and by a grown man. It sounds like she thinks it's okay to be with older men and to show you the pictures. Someone obviously showed her that this behavior was normal. Why don't you ask her if she was ever abused?
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,510  
2 Mar 2007 /  #33
Why don't you ask her if she was ever abused?

obviously treading as such questions dictate... :)
peterweg 37 | 2,320  
2 Mar 2007 /  #34
Why don't you ask her if she was ever abused?

You do realise that most sexual abuse is done by a close family member and its not a nice accusation to make.
Besides its also an unfounded conclusion based very skimpy knowledge of the woman. A lot of women become promiscuous at some point in their life. I think its best to assume that she likes sex rather that psychoanalysing her from afar.
Arien  
2 Mar 2007 /  #35
I have a question for the fellow who started this thread, her name wasn't Barbara now was it? This all sounds awfully familiar..

Anyway, I wouldn't ever want to mess with people's relationships, but from reading all that, my answer for you would be that it would probably be a wise decision to wish her the best of luck with her life and move on.

Serious relationships are built on trust, and you don't really seem to trust her anymore, and I think you have a good reason for that. So.

Anyway, it's not my life, it's not my lover, so I don't know if you should listen to us. :)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
2 Mar 2007 /  #36
You do realise that most sexual abuse is done by a close family member and its not a nice accusation to make.

Not always. Many parents never even know that their children are going through that. You wouldn't be accusing her family of anything just by asking her.

Besides its also an unfounded conclusion based very skimpy knowledge of the woman. A lot of women become promiscuous at some point in their life. I think its best to assume that she likes sex rather that psychoanalysing her from afar.

That's true. But it happens a lot more than some people want to believe. You should see the sex offender database in the US. It's overloaded with people who have abused children. But they're just the ones who have been caught. And here in the US the victims behave the way she is behaving. It must be different there?
peterweg 37 | 2,320  
2 Mar 2007 /  #37
The US has a problem with child abuse but that is largely because the country is so big. This woman comes from a small town where everybody knows each other. The vast majority of child abuse IS from family members.

I've spoke to quite a few women who's idea of a perfect man comes from fathers or brothers, not surprising that they become the model of a perfect man if that's the main contact they have when growing up. America is not a model for the rest of the world, I think.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
2 Mar 2007 /  #38
America is not a model for the rest of the world, I think.

Well, that's good to hear! Because the situation is very bad here.

This woman comes from a small town where everybody knows each other. The vast majority of child abuse IS from family members.

I see what you're saying. yikes.

A woman who goes out with such an older man and sends you the pictures is defintely not someone who understands or cares how it would affect you. She's definitely not someone who is ready to make a serious commitment to just one person.
peterweg 37 | 2,320  
2 Mar 2007 /  #39
Maybe she will in future. But thats what freedom is all about - making your own mistakes.
Magdushya 3 | 104  
2 Mar 2007 /  #40
I mean her family go to church every Sunday

Do you mean these kind of people like our crazy Mohair Berets?

youtube.com/watch?v=ni_n--NkK_A&mode=related&search=

Now all you try to guess why some of poles don't wanna go home........
Annia  
2 Mar 2007 /  #41
Her behavior sounds a lot like someone who was sexually abused as a child, and by a grown man.

Thats just a myth, not all women that are as follow:-

Confused
like sex
like older / younger people
have issues
want to make a statment by their actions

The whole abused thing is just an excuse or an explination for people who can't quite understand why people, do what they do, not everyone that acts 'out of the norm' has been abused!.

Annia
Huegel 1 | 296  
2 Mar 2007 /  #42
marchewka

excellent insight. do hope you consider registering here. I think you'd be a great addition to the ranks.

Carry on...
Annia  
2 Mar 2007 /  #43
what about my comments! :)
marchewka  
2 Mar 2007 /  #44
Annia,

your comment makes a lot of sense and I agree with you that not all people who behave like this girl were sexually abused. I think that there is too much stress at times to find an explanation for every kind of behaviour which is ouside of the box.

Having said that, sexual abuse is much more common that we like to admit and I agree with Shewolf that most of it is done by the family members or somebody close to the victim. However, in this case it would too much of speculation.

Huegel,
thank you very much. I might consider it in the future:)
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
2 Mar 2007 /  #45
Thats just a myth, not all women that are as follow:-

Confused
like sex
like older / younger people
have issues
want to make a statment by their actions

The whole abused thing is just an excuse or an explination for people who can't quite understand why people, do what they do, not everyone that acts 'out of the norm' has been abused!.

Annia

Annia, are you from Poland? In English, when you say "it sounds a lot like", you mean that it resembles it, not that it's true. So, I didn't mean that it was true but that it resembled it.

But it definitely does happen to some women. I know sooooo many women who experienced abuse and it affected their behavior. One of my friends was so troubled that she was constantly going to see a psychiatrist and today she is mentally ill. That's an extreme case, of course, but it's not just a myth that it affects behavior

and I agree with Shewolf that most of it is done by the family members

peterweg said that.

But anyway, I can't even begin to tell you how many girls I know who have been through picture-taking sessions with men who were 30 years older than them. And when they grew up they repeated the behavior and showed the pictures off like it was no big deal.
lovely - | 24  
2 Mar 2007 /  #46
There's nothing wrong with a young woman dating a man much older than her. I really don't think age matters if you really connect with someone.
KnownToTheForu  
3 Mar 2007 /  #47
Now all you try to guess why some of poles don't wanna go home........

Because they are scared of grannies? :)
jimbo 2 | 13  
3 Mar 2007 /  #48
There's nothing wrong with a young woman dating a man much older than her.

I thank you for that lovely ! I too am dating a younger woman from Poland 14 years younger ! nothing wrong with it !
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498  
3 Mar 2007 /  #49
There's nothing wrong with a young woman dating a man much older than her.

I agree, there are a lot of benefits for both.

Best of luck to you Jimbo - not that you need it.
Annia  
3 Mar 2007 /  #50
Annia, are you from Poland? In English

I also know two people that were sexually abused, one by her grandfather from a young age (9 months old!) the other by the babysitters son - neither slept about, quite the opposite, both men their partners at 16 and are married with children.

I have other friends who have never been abused who treat sex like a sport

my point was you cannot slap a label on something or someones behaviour.

and No I am not Polish
Magdushya 3 | 104  
3 Mar 2007 /  #51
Because they are scared of grannies?

Absolutely! If she is involved in environment like this...brrrrr. Is she from big city of from a small town?
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,510  
3 Mar 2007 /  #52
I have other friends who treat sex like a sport

phone numbers....?
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
3 Mar 2007 /  #53
I have other friends who have never been abused who treat sex like a sport

Rugby or golf :)?
peterweg 37 | 2,320  
3 Mar 2007 /  #54
Quoting: Annia
I have other friends who have never been abused who treat sex like a sport

Rugby or golf ?

Horizontal jogging
Annia  
3 Mar 2007 /  #55
Rugby or golf ?

I suppose there are odd shaped balls involved :)

phone numbers....?

Im not sure you would be able to keep up with them :) They've been in training for some time now :)
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,510  
3 Mar 2007 /  #56
Im not sure you would be able to keep up with them

dont worry... ive had loads of practice... :)
Huegel 1 | 296  
3 Mar 2007 /  #57
odd shaped balls involved

Avoid the dimply ones.
Frank 23 | 1,183  
3 Mar 2007 /  #58
As usual....off thread........and having read the very judgemental, sanctimomious replies/posts...its almost laughable!
Lee_England 4 | 51  
3 Mar 2007 /  #59
Hang on a minute... You said you're 30 years her senior?!

You must be the luckiest 50 year old alive. Top man!!! lol

In all honestly though, maybe you should look for someone a little older. I'm 27 and not even I would consider dating a 20 year old.

I know a lot of the more "matured" men tend to head for Ukraine. Maybe you should take a look there.
lostwitoutlove  
3 Mar 2007 /  #60
how about asking her what her caper is...be honest tell her about your feelings? yes? no?

is honest stiil here?

Archives - 2005-2009 / Love / I had a Polish female friend. Horror in my mind...Archived