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How do you approach marriage to Polish men ?


Dutchspani 1 | 1  
14 May 2009 /  #1
Hello, I am an American lady and my boyfriend is polish. We have been seeing each other for 1 1/2 years and now live together. He has been in ths states since he was 8 and is now 23. He is a citizen.I love him more than anything and really want us to think about getting married. He has never told me he loves me but his actions and the way he has let me into his life lets me know he does care for me. He is very reserved when it comes to talking about feelings and emotions. His mother spent a week with us last summer and we got along very well. She seemed to be okay with my not being polish. I dont know the language but his english is better than most Americans. He is in the Army and may have to deploy for a year, I would really like to get married before then. Do polish men take pride in being the one who proposes or is it okay for the girl to mention it? He is coming home next week from a trip and i really want to talk to him about it but am not sure how.
Kapusta 2 | 66  
14 May 2009 /  #2
First of all you have to know that you're both at the same stage in the relationship. You might be feeling ready for marriage but he might just be content with how things are at the moment. Living together is a good sign he wants to spend his life with you.

Having the words 'I love you' said to you is not essential in my opinion because they are only words and people can say them freely and not mean them but actions are different and you say that he shows you in his actions his fondness for you. However, the only way you can be certain of his feelings is to talk to him.

If he has thoughts of marriage then he'll be glad if you bring it up, he can still be the one to propose but at least he'll know that's what you want and that he's going to get a 'yes'. If he hasn't got thoughts of marriage then it's fair that you should know that too.

How to approach him? Every Polish man is different and only you will know how to approach this particular man with a difficult, serious or emotional subject. You might even just have to say to him you want to talk to him about the future.

If he doesn't want to marry you at this time will it make a difference to you?
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
14 May 2009 /  #3
You don't have to propose to him. But you can talk about marriage in general and find out what he thinks.
OP Dutchspani 1 | 1  
14 May 2009 /  #4
I would be okay if he didnt want to right now but would like some insight as to whether it is heading that way. he had a house before we met and since Ive lived with him i have worked hard to make it a home. Things like decorating, landscaping Etc and i think I want to know that the work Is going to be for us and not a waste of heart and soul. I think he was really taken advantage of by a polish girl when he went to basic training 5-6 years ago, they were living together and when he came back she had used his credit cards and caused him a lot of debt. He is just now starting to let some of those walls come down. So I guess I will talk to him when he gets home.
pussycatsbear 1 | 42  
9 Jun 2009 /  #5
If he doesn't want to marry you at this time will it make a difference to you?

Hi, just want to ask how do polish men propose marriage to the women they love?Do u have any styles or stuff in doing that?
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,446  
22 Jun 2009 /  #6
In the US and probably in all other countries as well, there are traditionalists who ask the father of the fiancée for her hand in marriage, propose on oen knee with engagement ring nd flowers in hand, and go through the whole rigamrole of engagement party, wedding preparations, rehearsal, nuptial, reception, honeymoon... And there are those who simply elope. (BTW, is there a Polish word for "to elope"?) In the US midwest for some reason Bowling Green is the place to go for a quick marriage, ie for those who can't afford Las Vegas or Reno or don't lÅ‚ike the glittery cheesiness thereof.
plk123 8 | 4,149  
23 Jun 2009 /  #7
Bowling Green

you mean Gatlinburg?
scrappleton - | 829  
23 Jun 2009 /  #8
In the US midwest for some reason Bowling Green is the place to go for a quick marriage,

Yeah, with a shotgun at your back. Vegas is where you go too maybe Niagara Falls.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
23 Jun 2009 /  #9
Having the words 'I love you' said to you is not essential in my opinion

I disagree with this.Of course they are only words and actions should speak louder, but if I had been with someone for this length of time and he had never told me he loved me I would be worried. Just ask him if he thinks you have a long term future together.. at this stage in your relationship you need to know whether its going anywhere and if it worth waiting for him for the year he is away. Good luck.

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