Posts by kasqures

kasqures

17 Aug 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

Well As I said earlier.. I made a promise to her that I will come visit her once and I did go there. I had a visa for Turkey and as well for Schengen states. I went to Warsaw and then I took a bus to Lublin. I thought it was not the correct way just to show up so I had informed her that I would be coming. When the bus was stopped I could see her right in front of my eyes... I never thought I would be able to witness that..I didn't know what to do .. I forgot about everything that happened and any reason..for me it was just her.. i didn't know how to react at first whether to kiss her or to hug her or shake her hands or scream at her ...but I coudn't control myself and I hugged her ... I never wanted to let go of her...I held her tight in my arms...and I cried ... I never asked her any questions..because I knew she had no answers to my questions....She asked me to be her friend ... and stay for my entire vacation there but it seemed like I would be cheating on that guy if I did that..I told her that I can't because things had now changed and I came there to tell her that not everything is glass and I was true to my word...

I told her if she needed a friend she is always welcome..This day I will never forget.. I remember and treasure each moment ... May be I am a fool but I do watch a lot of movies and I remember this dialogue.."If you really love her.. then you should let her go" and that is what I did. I spend one day with her and next day I was off to Prague ... I stayed there for two days with my friend and then I went to Turkey where I spent the remaining days of vacation. But every night I cried and would wake up with wet eyes .. But life goes on..

She moved on .. I also have to and just not to think about her I have forced myself to do a lot of work and keep myself busy as much as I can so that at the end of the day I am so tired that I can't think of nothing...but thoughts do creep up..feelings do come back... I guess it was meant to be. It will take time for me to move on but I will never be able to love anyone as much I loved her. The lesson learned is that don't trust anyone except from yourself because you can't deceive yourself.

Thanks and much appreciated for your comments and some wonderful people who have been very supportive and have actually helped me in this difficult time. May God Bless you all. Have a nice day or night.

Cheers!

kasqures

16 Aug 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

@thomasee73
I am so thankful to you for this beautiful words that you have written and they are very true indeed and have a lot of learning and wisdom in it.

@Softsong
Thank you as well for the kind words... I know all people are not alike and there are many beautiful people in the world like yourself.

@johncardwell
Thanks man I will send you an email out and definitely I would wanna be friends... I need one.

kasqures

19 Jul 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

@ShellyS If you fall in love with a donkey you will find it more beautiful than Miss Universe. I guess you have no idea about what I feel. And where did you get the notion that every marriage over there is arranged. Have you ever been there ? Have you ever lived there ? That's the problem you don't know what really happens its all the media that is talking. Nothing good is talked about just always the bad stuff. For the record I have left her alone and I will not see her.

@Jihozapad I can't deny that it doesn't happen but when it happens in certain places and it is aweful disgusting and absolutely **** but again you point out a thing which does not reflect the majority.

Look what all **** happens in Europe or in US. Boys sleeping with their moms, brother and sister having sex I mean what the hell and you never mention those. and these people are what educated. Education doesn't mean you know only that what gravity is or how computer works it also means that you know the difference between good and bad. You hate brown people and yet you want to get tanned this is just so hypocrite.

@theboywholived thanks for understanding and atleast someone know the facts.

@lexi I didn't forced you read it. You know what Maybe I will take his advice. I don't understand how is it possible for you guys to move on to others like it never happened. Its amazing. And watch Jerry Springer for entertainment.

kasqures

19 Jul 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

@Softsong Thank you so much for your words. It really means a lot to me. I have no one to share my feelings with, and it is not that I have no friends but because they told me so that it will happen like this and that my relationship with her will fall apart. But I kept on repeating that everything is possible and I will show to my friends, my family everyone that once you make up your mind then everything is possible.

@Johncardwell I know what you are saying and you know the funny part that we talked about everything. Kids, religion, where we would live. I have by the Grace of God a very good job and I travel a lot but for some reason not to Poland because of funny things happened when I applied for visa twice. The first time they gave me visa but they did't inform me and when I asked they gave me visa in back days. The next time I met this Polish lady who seemed very nice. She understood everything and did the embassy routine check they do for information gathering but she also refused to give visa because she told me that I need to have an invitation letter in order to travel. That time I was going to spend Christmas with her.

I changed my passport and tried again the third time this time and from another country and I got it. That was the most happiest day of my life because I got the chance to see my only one true love. Kiss her hug her spend time with her. Meet her parents. I have thought about everything and it is not the first time in my family that one is getting in an interfaith marriage. My uncle is happily married to one of the nicest ladies I have know. She is Christian and she didn't change her faith. She comes from England. They have been married for 35 years. One of my cousin is married to Spanish, one to Italian and one to French and the same thing that they are living happily.

I would not be the first guy who would do that. I understood everything and where I was going. Honestly she is a person that you can't possibly NOT fall in love with once get to know her. She has all the things a girl should have. I didn't know what happened, what went wrong, why she did that I really have no clue. I remember Bryan Adams song in which there is a line "If you see your unborn child in her eyes then you really know that you love the woman".

I couldn't stop myself of calling her and she was with him. She started crying and I couldn't hold back my own. It is the last thing I wanted to make her sad after everything she did I still love her. I want to see her happy in her life. If she thinks she can be happy with the other guy then let it be. The other guy also called me and asked about it and I asked him a simple question if he can make her happy for the rest of his life and will love her and care her ? If yes then I know I have to do the right thing. He said YES and I believe him and that is she also wanted. I can't see tears in her eyes. I am too weak for her. I let her go and forgave her for everything she did. There is not a single moment when I don't think of her.

I don't know I did right or wrong but I couldn't see her in this way. Love is not about just receiving. It is also about giving. I still love her and I will keep my promise. My life was so beautiful when she was with me and so much like a desert when she is gone. Maybe I had to fight for her, I donno but I think it was better that the one heart breaks rather than three. At least they will be happy and knowing that she is happy will make me happy.

kasqures

18 Jul 2009

Love / Real relationship with a polish girl [26]

Well it seems you have the same situation as mine but I hope you don't end up with the same result. One word of advice never trust anyone but yourself because when if you do that then it is very hard to trust again. Cheers!

kasqures

18 Jul 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

Thanks for the suggestion guys I really thank you. As softsong said It was so real to me. I remember the first time I saw her.. I thought she was an angel ..so beautiful. I guess everything depends on human nature. I understand that she needed physical presence but not everything is about sex. Many people have sex and still they don't love each other. I told her plenty of times that this is not going to be easy but every time she would say that she would wait her whole life just to get a kiss. These to me were the most beautiful words ever and I committed myself to do just about everything to be with her.

Have you ever had a feeling that you know a person from inside. I am not that fascinated by outer beauty. Its the inner beauty, the beauty of the soul that is most important for me. We had a bond like for me she was my soul mate. It wasn't my fault that I was born in a country where I have travel restrictions all the time. Every time I am being suspected of something fishy just because I come from that land. I tried and tried because I would do anything for her. And when the time came, she already had moved on.

Its also a cultural issue I guess because where I come from we have these ideas or notions of being with woman for the rest of the life. Like you take vows in wedding to love her and comfort her for the entire life. For me I had already taken that vows. I know I have to move on because if i don't it will not do anything good for me but it is too damn hard. Every thought is about her even when I try not to think of her. I see her smile, her laugh, her red cheeks when she used to be mad. I can't get her out of my mind.

Love finds its own way and just being on the internet doesn't mean you can't love. It is a pure thought which is bound by no means which is fearless which can make the impossible possible. I am a man of my words. I promised her that I would come to Poland and the bad thing about me is that I keep my promises. I will go to Poland and will keep my promise. But it would be different then what I anticipated it would be. This is the last promise I made to her and I really don't want that I didn't do what I promised.

I know many of you will think that is not the right thing to do at this point but some people are different from others. I believe that promise is a responsibility and have to keep it. If I don't then there is no difference between me and her.

kasqures

17 Jul 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

I am grateful to God for everything he provided. Its not that easy to move on..it is not. I got another call from her and she said how can she make things right. She doesn't want to leave him and also she doesn't want to leave me. What kind of sick person would think like that. I know you are right...and maybe someday I will meet someone better but can I trust another person after what happened to me ? She didn't hurt me but she destroyed the base of any relationship TRUST. Always there will be fear when I start out a new relationship that i would end up the same way as I did earlier. Life is better than death I agree but this life with fears is not a life at all.

kasqures

17 Jul 2009

Love / My Perfect Love Story so I thought [73]

Hi Guys,

I wanted to share my sad story which for me is nothing less than the worst nightmare and the most painful time in my life. About two years ago I started chatting with a Polish girl. She seemed to be different than others and she had moral values and was beautiful and intelligent and it didn't take long for me to fall in love. As our relationship grew I found out more and more about her and loved he more and more. Her ideas, the way she thought, they way she wanted her life would be was all perfect and I couldn't have been a happier guy to find true love. I am one woman kind of guy and comes from family that has ethical morals and I committed my entire life for her. I loved her more than anything and would do anything for her and she promised and loved me the same way (so I thought). I am a Muslim and she is devoted Christian and God fearing person and we had good understanding of everything and we even went to the extent of having where we would get married, how and where we would live and what will be the names of our kids.

I couldn't have asked for a better person to be with. She told me that she would wait till the eternity for me. The problem was that I come from Pakistan and as the stereotype is that all Pakistanis are lunatics and freaks which is absolutely wrong. But that meant I had to apply for visa to go there and meet her. I tried a couple of times but every time I was restricted to go for one reason or another. I work in a company where I travel a lot and my job changes so I work in different countries as well. But that did not deter my effort of being with her and she knew every thing and she was with me all the time and kept on telling me that there will be next time and we will be together forever and God knows I believed her, believed in out love and that is meant to happen. Things started changing in the past 5 months. She went to Brussels for an internship program from University for three months. I was in constant contact with her. everyday I used to ring her up ask how things are going and how is she finding.

When she returned home, for the first three weeks she was different. She told me Brussels is a nice place and she would like live there and work in the future which I believed was good because I could move there in the future with her would not be a problem. Then after three weeks , she was like the usual self. We talked like everyday and she would tell me that she loves me more than anyone. I had already told my parents about everything and her parents knew of me and seemed like everything is perfect. In these two years I was always honest, never broke any promises , never lied , never even looked at any girl because I didn't need to because I thought of her as my wife and it would considered cheating even if I look at any and I was pretty sure that she did the same thing until the reality dawned on me.

As I said, she was her normal self and our life was perfect again. Then she had papers and after that was holidays. I planned my summer vacation to spend with her. I asked my manager to allow the vacations in a very hectic schedule where he could let no one off but he understood what I was going through and that I desperately wanted to meet her. I got the vacations approved. She told me that she would come anywhere in Europe to meet me. Being rejected by Poland twice I thought I would apply for Germany or for Greece or for England and it would be easy for her to travel. After the papers she decided to go to holiday with her best friend to Brussels again to spend two weeks there which I thought was cool because she could not stay in Lublin for entire vacation. I applied for the Polish visa again in the meantime.

She went there telling me that this summer we will be together and she is extremely happy that I would be coming there and finally meeting her. She went to Brussels and things were a bit confusing. She sent me sms not on daily basis as she used to and the sms was strange that she loves me but she is sorry for herself which I had no idea what she was saying. I called her everyday as I used to when she was there the first time and she would talk to me for only 5 min and telling me that she has to go out and that she is walking and of course at the end would tell me she loves me. Those three words were enough for me that she loves me and I loved her more than my life. In the meantime I got the visa for Poland. I got the tickets booked hotel confirmed and waiting for her to return so that I could giver her a surprise. I bought an engagement ring and I was going to propose to her. These days were happiest of my life until the night I received a call. At 4 in the morning I got a call and I saw the number was from Belgium and I thought something bad happened why he is calling me so late and I was scared that something happened to her. The call was from a guy. He said that he is his boyfriend and they have been seeing each other for 5 months and he found out just now that you are also his boyfriend. First of all I was surprised and perplexed and I thought he was joking or playing a prank on me.

I told him to **** off because I don't believe that single word he said but he knew everything. He told me about her friend and where they are staying and that she is living with her and she came to Brussels to spend holidays with her and they are living as couple. I was shocked which is a small word at this time because I can't explain my emotions of what went in my mind at that time. I closed the phone and called her and I asked about this guy and that was all true. I could not believe my ears of what I was hearing. It seemed that world has fallen apart and there is big hole in ground and I am buried in it 30 feet down. My heart stopped beating, my dreams, my love all gone in one second. She told me that she is only friend with her and still she told me that she loves me and she is all mine. After that I got again the call from this guy and he said why did I talk to her and now she is upset because she told him not to call me and tell me anything. I did not know how to react. I called her again and asked her and this time she said she is sorry and she was hiding things from me. I told her I got the visa and I was coming to see her but that was too late. She said come to Poland to meet me as her friend....as her friend... and that she would do anything for me when I come over there and she would explain me everything whe she returns to Poland. I was dead.

Death would have been easy because then you are relieved of emotions. The next day the same guy called me and told me that he is with her and she wants to talk to me. She told me that her friend has gone back and she is staying with this guy for another 4 days before she returns to Poland. I asked her a simple question that does she love me and she said I love both the guys and she wants to spend her life with him and not me. That was the sentence which was enough for me. You know when you are shot at ..got driven by car... this was worse it felt like death. His new boyfriend told me than she is living with her and they are couples and all that. My life is ruined. My dreams are shattered.. The Belief in love is all gone..I loved her like crazy and I can't think of anyone else in my life besides her. I would never be able to move on and I can't love anyone else. She said she is sorry for everything.

That is it... She is sorry... What is sorry fellows ? You destroy a man's life ...you destroy everything he believed in ...EVERYTHING and just plain Sorry .... Why did I suffer this ? What did I do wrong ? This story is not too old my friends ..it happened a week ago.. Ever since I have got that call I have not slept. Every time I close my eyes I can picture her kissing someone else and right now sleeping with this guy and that sentence that she wants to be with her just doesn't allow me to sleep. Tears are like of unlimited supply here every time I think about it tears just come out and it is so painful. I can't concentrate on work ... I sit around for hours alone and wondering where did I go wrong .. Was my love not strong enough .. How can someone come between us ? how can she do that to me ??? I tried taking medicine and ended up in a hospital .. I couldn't even kill myself.. Was this because I was honest ? I loved her ?.. and I am suffering because I was a moron and not knowing that there is nothing as love in this world..... The sad thing is that I want to hate her for everything she did to me but I can't .. I can't her as well .. I still love her....I wanted to share my story because I have no one to tell and it is eating me inside. I never have been to Poland and never will. I pray that she is happy wherever she lives. For me ..there is no light at the end of tunnel and I can't move on ... thanks for reading.