Life / POSITIVES ABOUT POLAND AND POLISH PEOPLE.... [119]

That should be:
35. Lakes
36. Valleys
37. Mountains
38. Deep forests

So...

39. Orchards

Life / POSITIVES ABOUT POLAND AND POLISH PEOPLE.... [119]

20) The Polish Scientific Station in Spitsbergen.

or perhaps Kiełbasa instead.

Life / POSITIVES ABOUT POLAND AND POLISH PEOPLE.... [119]

18) It's not Belgium.

News / Has global warming affected Poland? And in what ways? [73]


There are theories that suggest that warming may change course or strength of the Gulf Stream. This brings Europe a lot of its weather, and without it, the place would be colder and drier.

Food / Smoking Food in Poland [17]

I've already cut the top off this oil drum, so it will have to be upright, like the one RJ_cdn posted a link to. Thanks, R.

I can get another oil drum if I want to make a barbeque. That's another plan for when I've finished building my patio.

I read somewhere that in the past, Alder (Alnus glutinosa) wood was very popular across Europe for smoking food, but now Oak (Quercus petraea, Q. robur) seem to be more popular. Fruit trees, especially apple (Malus domestica) is also used a lot, especially (I suppose) in a country with as many orchards and apple trees as Poland.

News / Has global warming affected Poland? And in what ways? [73]


What's it called now it's not the Czech Republic? Laalaaland?


The oldest Pole I ever met was about 12 years old but he looked about 70.

Language / Polish Soaps? & They Really do use Rosetta Stone [13]


I remember when this was new. I only ever saw a couple of minutes.

Someone picked up a phone and called someone else.
You know the kind of split-screen sort of thing they used to have in things like ABBA videos?
Well, the person answering the phone appeared in a box in one corner of the screen.
They chatted away. Maybe it was just for a moment, but the two people talking to eachoter on telephones on the screen actually looked at eachother.

'Hey! How are you in that yellow-outlined box in the corner of the screen?'
'I'm fine, but why do you have 3/4 of the screen and I only get a little box?'
Maybe I haven't recalled the dialogue word-for-word...
... because I was laughing my donkey arse off.

Life / Whats driving like in Poland? [70]


I once saw a man on a bicycle with a cow on a lead.

Language / Common mistakes made by foreigners in Polish [90]


Only the stupid ones. Having an identical-sounding 'V' (and sometimes 'F') helps.

Life / Cigarette Smoking in Poland [146]

This should be in my 'Donkey Goes To Poland' thread, but I bought a very large bag of very cheap tobacco once when I was there. I was missing my roll-ups, so we went to a kiosk and asked for tobacco. Hang on - I still have it here. I'll just go and have a look...

250g of Korsarz - no price label though.

It was disgusting. It was like trying to roll cigarettes with tree bark. It tasted like a bonfire. I have since used it for killing aphids in the garden (which actually worked quite well, although it is illegal)!


I am a professional horticulturist. That doesn't mean I know what that's like.

Language / The sound of the Polish 'R' [33]


Intewesting. Can it be difficult for some people everywhere?

R is a strange letter - the way it varies from language to language.

There's the back of the mouth type R - French, Dutch, German, some varieties of Portuguese, possibly Danish (I'm not sure). Formerly it was even found in some dialects of Northeast England.

There's the good old rolled R like you find in Polish, other Slavic languages, various Southern European languages, Arabic and so on and so on.

Then there's the English R, although in much of Scotland and some parts of England it is rolled, and there is a growing number of people who pronounce the English R without the tongue curled back but with the top front teeth making contact with somewhere behind and below the bottom lip, often mistakenly referred to as a 'W' sound.

So if you can't roll it, try any of the above - it's better than nothing!

Language / The sound of the Polish 'R' [33]


Well, if you ale leally stluggling.

Does anyone think I'm bulling?


Lomania?

Love / Polish Girlfriend obsessive and not trusting [59]


Only if it was just 'I have been married.'

Life / Cigarette Smoking in Poland [146]


Normal cigarettes don't go out if you put them down - they just burn away in the ashtray.
Normal cigarettes don't do anything for me - if I smoke one, I only want a roll-up afterwards.

I know smoking is bad, it's unhealthy. It's more unhealthy than the low quality food so many people eat, and the quality cheese I eat (but at least that's enjoyable) and it's probably more unhealthy than sitting on your arse all day, driving instead of walking and so on, getting no exercise.

But what I really don't understand about why I and so many other people smoke is that it's not really all that enjoyable. There's the initial sensation of quenching that need for a smoke, then... Well, I like the smell of cigarette smoke before it goes stale.

Right, time for me to roll another one. (They are strictly tobacco only these days)!

Language / Saying the year 2000 [8]

So what's this all about:


There seem to be a lot of words before the actual numbers begin.

Language / Saying the year 2000 [8]

It might be:

na lat dwa tysiąc

...but I'm just a beginner (have been for nearly a year) so the 'tysiąc' might be grammared-up slightly wrongly!

Life / Cigarette Smoking in Poland [146]


This is not true. For example, some kinds of food contain carcinogens.
Should barbeques be banned?

We are actually forcefed some carcinogens - petrol fumes and the like.
Should cars be banned?

Language / Saying the year 2000 [8]

You'll probably find it here: https://polishforums.com/archives/2005-2009/language/expressing-years-14505/#msg260713

Take note how the donkey helped expand the discussion into your area of interest!

Life / Horticulture in Poland [63]


Interesting stuff.

Love / Polish Girlfriend obsessive and not trusting [59]


17 years and 17 wives.

Language / The sound of the Polish 'R' [33]


The closer your teeth are together, the further back your tongue has to be.

Wouldn't it be so much easier if Polish had a bilabial trill instead.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bilabial_trill

Language / Seeking a basic intro to the Polish Language [17]


Jak się masz?


Hello, Michał.

Language / The sound of the Polish 'R' [33]

I've heard quite a few people attempting the rolled 'r' and failing. I'm not sure how it is that some people seem to be unable to produce this sound. Some attempts have caused injury through excessive laughter.

Have you tried sitting somewhere no-one can hear you and just experimenting with the variety of different vocal sounds you can produce? It sounds like a strange idea, but it is one of the techniques I employed whilst attempting to learn Mongolian throat-singing (a kind of oral resonance singing - PM me if you're interested).

The tongue should be level at the back and curled upwards towards the tip which will be pointing to somewhere between the front teeth and the apex of the oral chamber. (Like my pseudo-technical term there?)

Hold this position, then try. If this doesn't work, try lowering your bottom jaw slightly, perhaps a few other adjustments, vocalising all the while. Make sure you're not restricting the air-flow further back in your mouth.

If you still can't manage it, at least anyone overhearing you will have had a good laugh, particularly if they are a speaker of Polish, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Icelandic, Scots English, Arabic, blah blah blah.

UK, Ireland / Enquiry from The Sunday Times Newspaper (changing Polish names in the UK) [4]


I'll go and ask Stanley Smith, Myfanwy Griffiths and Malcolm McGowan.

edit: A few phone calls later, I still can't work out why they changed their names to Jarek, Marek and Dobromira.

There has already been a serious answer above. Try this thread:

https://polishforums.com/archives/2005-2009/life/legally-changing-name-english-one-17548/

There had been another one I can't find using the search function.

Love / Polish Girlfriend obsessive and not trusting [59]


and vice versa, we assume.


Swooning ladies. Bring the smelling salts - sounds like a Victorian novella.

Life / Horticulture in Poland [63]


The great thing about the fancy-sounding names is that horticulturists worldwide use the same names. Pronunciation is a different matter though.


I love my garden and it had a permenant half-finished look to it.
That's because it is permenantly half-finished.

Travel / Donkey visits Poland [76]

Part 12

Marcin's car was a Ford Fiesta. 'Made in England' he told me. For the type, size and quality of the car, I imagined it may have once come with a sticker annoucing its country of origin rather like a toy car might carry a label 'Made in Hong Kong'. We went for a drive early in the evening. He enjoyed pratting about, and he wasn't going to make an exception to this when sat behind the wheel. Pulling away from his house, he attempted a wheelspin that failed. The car jolted forwards. The kids playing nearby seemed to give an 'Even we're more grown up than that' look.

Bartek and I stopped to buy a couple of bottles of beer each. We got back into the car. Bartek opened our bottles with his lighter. I remembered all the times I had attempted to open bottles with street furniture and failed. If it wasn't made to be a bottle-opener, I tend not to be able to open bottles with it. 'Marcin uses his teeth!' he cheekily told me as he passed my bottle over his shoulder.

We were back near 'their shop' - the derelict concrete building amongst the trees overlooking the old factories. They were both still having fun with trying to speak English. Marcin kept saying phrases he'd seen on computer games. His favourite was a humourously mispronounced 'Game Over'. I offered 'Hig-h Stsores.' We polished off our beers and got back into the car. I was grateful that Marcin had the sense not to drink and drive because sense was not his strong point.

We hit some uneven farm tracks, Marcin deliberately aiming for the potholes and wheel-ruts. I couldn't help finding it funny - maybe it was really the sense of danger. And stupidity. Being in a car with such a madman is not the kind of thing I normally do. More and more I understood why the others took the mick out of Marcin. He loved it and it only encouraged him. He had a glint in his eye. He wound his window right down.

Still driving, he started climbing out of the window. There was laughter, accompanied by lots of the bad language I recognised, and a certain upping in the level of fear! He sat on the window ledge, his head and body right outside the car, still driving along the track, still aiming for every lump and bump in the road. I was almost crying with laughter. 'He's trying to kill us all.'

I almost said a prayer when he climbed back into his seat with a little help from Bartek holding the steering wheel.

We didn't go to any bars that evening like I thought we would. We picked up Karol and sat overlooking a stream with the lights of houses in the distance and had just one more bottle of beer. 'Chcę krzaki.' I said so that Marcin might let me out of the car.

'Chceś krzaki?' he giggled.
'Potrzebuję!' I demanded to more laughter.

I got the sense they were all good mates, but all very different to eachother. Bartek liked to think of himself as quite tough. Marcin liked everyone to think of him as a clown. Karol seemed more serious and artistic. He told me he liked films. With help from Bartek's better English, he started talking about Roman Polanski, and I about Krzystof Kieslowski, whom he admired. 'Wolę... Kurwa! I prefer Polanski!'

I asked if any of them had ever smoked dope. 'I used to, but don't any more.' I told them, carefully avoiding the words 'when I was your age!' They liked to give the impression that only the lowest of the low in Poland did such things.

'No. We drink. Hash is for losers.'

Then Karol admitted to having smoked some when he was on some summer camp. I think Bartek didn't want a friend of his father's to think he was too much more disreputable than his father! I wasn't looking for dirt on anyone - I like to find out who people are, what they do. Find out what experiences make them similar and what experiences make them differnt to me. I could picture the same thing happening somewhere back in England, only I wouldn't have been there.

The conversation rapidly descended into impressions of characters from South Park. Night was setting in and we drove back home. It was to be my last night in £omża.

Part 13 - The Shortest Chapter: Unlucky For Some

We were driving back from the reconstructed mediaeval village. I think it was at a place (seemingly ironically) called Nowogród. It was hot and it was good to have the window open. Sebastian was driving, Ewelina was sat in the front, and I was in the back next to Dana, Ewelina's mother. It had made a nice change spending most of the day being polite and well-behaved.

We were not far from the main road back to £omża, just passing some farm buildings. I have said before and I will say again, that there is something idiosyncratic, dare I say it, quaint, about Polish buildings. In any country, buildings in the countryside tend to be built according to local ways and as they were designed for particular needs, they do tend to be unique. This seems particularly true in Poland.

I sat looking out of the window at the world going by. Sebastian wasn't driving too fast this time.

Suddenly, through the windscreen, we saw an old man on a bicycle pedalling slowly on the other side of the road, and he was holding a rope, on the other end of which was a cow, slowly dawdling her way along in the shade of the hedge by the roadside. If I could have reached my camera and if Sebastian's 'not so fast' driving had been a little more like scenic-route Sunday driving!

All faces in the car looked round at the spectacle. There were amused gasps and giggles. I remembered some of the comments from Bartek and his mates about 'village people', so the amused gasping may have been more from me and the giggling from the others. I peered through the back window at the man, the bicycle and the cow disappearing behind a turn in the road.

Polish farm buildings. Perhaps there are even cow-sheds complete with bicycle racks! I wasn't too annoyed about not managing to take a picture - I knew this image would be something I would remember for ever.

That wasn't actually all that short, was it?
Hmmm! It still might be the shortest so far.

Travel / Donkey visits Poland [76]

In Monty Python speak, he was a naughty boy. But he wasn't a very naughty boy.

Travel / Donkey visits Poland [76]


I took a couple of pictures on that holiday. Mostly of the nicer one of their two dogs.
Two pictures of the family. In both pictures at least one of them is obscured by a plant or a dog or something getting in the way. There were some pictures, not taken by me of a day-trip to some reconstructed mediaeval buildings and stuff, but they're not representative of the holiday as a whole.


This is all a true account of what happened, just in case anyone thinks this is fiction. However, writing is selective - there has to be a certain amount of my own imagination. Not imaginary things that didn't happen, but an imaginitive way of describing them. I used my imagination. You use yours.