Love / Do mix culture marriages work in Poland? [68]


I referred to someone I work with as Oriental, and was told by the person I was speaking with that I should not do this - that it is considered an ethnic slur. I was genuinely surprised! Is this true? I noticed that you referred to yourself that way, so I thought I'd ask you. Thanks!

Love / Which is better? Being single or being in a relationship? [92]

When my first marriage ended, that was it for me - I was OFF WOMEN for a GOOD LONG TIME! A month later I was stopped in traffic due to a fireworks display, and there was a lovely young thing with a camera set up on a tripod, taking photos of the fireworks. I watched her as much as I did the show, until traffic started to move. The following week at work I was telling some colleageus about it at lunch, and the woman sitting across the table said "that was me." She was recently married, so, to me, "off limits." We became friends, did some photography together - next thing I know she's telling me how badly her marriage is going and that she knew it was a mistake right after she'd made the vows. Well, this guy who was off women was by then madly in love and we've been together ever since.

My point is - live life as best you can and life will serve up some very interesting situations for you. Who knows which one will lead you to something significant, something wonderful, something you never expected?

Here's to new avatars!

Love / Which is better? Being single or being in a relationship? [92]


Had one of those in an older brother - life's lessons are sometimes very hard. You have my sympathies.
BTW - LOVE my 3 cats and 2 parrots, but LOVE my wife, too!

Love / Are men more unhappy about being single than women [47]

A possible explanation - men "need" sex more than women do. Combine that with the social pressure for monogamy and the scourge of STDs, and you have more unhappy men than women?

Maybe?

Love / Which is better? Being single or being in a relationship? [92]

I believe we're here for one another - to live, love and learn. I don't think you can learn all there is to learn on your own. There are some lessons that can only be learned by experiencing at least part of your life with someone to whom you have made a permanent commitment.

People are ostracized for all kinds of reasons, Ken. For example - those of us who have chosen not to have any children are looked upon by some people as weirdos or somehow defective or ultra-selfish - whatever. It's not what people think (or may think) but how we react to those thoughts (expressed or not).

I think it's interesting that you selected the image of Moe, the consumate outsider and lonely heart, as your icon. Is that simply an expression of how you're feeling right now, or how you feel about yourself in general?

History / Did Ukraine really "steal" Polish land? [302]


I agree, but it's very hard. These are deep, old wounds that are easily opened. For example, I'm reading a very good book right now about a Lemko descendant's ancestors' stories, and just got to the part where he describes how the annihalation of many villages of Lemkos/Boykos took place - this was done jointly by the Poles and the Russians - possibly with Slovaks as well - just because they wanted the lands these people lived on, peacefully, for centuries. It does little to encourage forgiveness, but that is the challenge, isn't it? I must remember a most excellent definition for the term forgiveness that helps with this - "forgiveness is the refusal to continue to be hurt by another person's wrongdoing." AND I must remember that forgiveness does not condone what the other person did - it's simply a way for me to regain peace and serenity with that person and myself. It's rarely easy.

Genealogy / Mikolaj Rak from Carpatho-Rusyn, Lemko Villages in Jaslo County [11]

You're very welcome. Good luck with your research!

Genealogy / Mikolaj Rak from Carpatho-Rusyn, Lemko Villages in Jaslo County [11]

Koach,
Her name is Iwona and you can reach her at genealogy@pro.onet.pl.

History / Did Ukraine really "steal" Polish land? [302]

This has been a very interesting topic to read. I have nothing to add to it, but thank all of you who contributed.

Genealogy / Mikolaj Rak from Carpatho-Rusyn, Lemko Villages in Jaslo County [11]

I hired a Polish genealogist to research the archives for the records of my fathers' parents - would you like her contact information?

Genealogy / Mikolaj Rak from Carpatho-Rusyn, Lemko Villages in Jaslo County [11]


VERY lucky! I am envious, I must say. Congratulations.
What County were your relatives from?

News / American wanting to know about views from Poland [37]

Fisz,
You said "You can assume the worst for our country...more of you and we'd be pathetic and lose all hope." I hope you did not intend to refer to me as pathetic. If so, then I think you're reading too much into my posts. I'm trying to point out that we live in an anxiety-fueled society these days, and most people tend to stick their heads in the sand to avoid dealing with the reality of it. Do you have any idea how much of today's health problems are stress-related? People choose not to deal with it on a conscious level, so they "stuff" their anxiety and it manifests in them physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm not saying that I (and most Americans) do not enjoy their lives or pursue their goals and ambitions - only that the quality of their life experiences are severely clouded by what they are deailing with sub-consciously on a daily basis.

I am assuming nothing - simply reporting it as I see it. The quality of life for a typical American started to decrease about 12 years ago, and it's been proceeding steadily since then. There is going to be a significant and drastic drop-off in the not too distant future, which is going to put a significant portion of Americans into a similar financial situation as that experienced by so many after the Great Depression. The country is in hock up to its ears with no path to financial independence. Money is leaving the country at record rates. These are not assumptions - they are simple facts. Those who wise up to them and start taking whatever measures they can to protect themselves in the future will be the winners - the "pathetic" ones will be the majority who, unfortunately, do not.

News / American wanting to know about views from Poland [37]

Patrycja19,
Maybe not "fear" as in "terror," but anxiety and stress caused by such things as:
* Bush with his colonialism mentality and fealty to the fossil fuel industry - not to mention his finger on "the button"
* the deteriioration of the Social Security System - future financial security - needing to work the rest of our lives because retirement will be impossible with the funds we've been thinking all our lives would be available to us - because they won't

* sky-rocketing fuel prices
* insecure borders and the prospect of an imminent "dirty bomb" detonation
* again - insecure borders and an overwhelming influx of illegal aliens - mostly Latino - who, although hard-working for the most part, are also causing a deterioration in the quality of life in many towns where they congregate and live

* fewer and fewer good jobs, due to outsourcing, leading to more financial anxiety
* corrupt politicians who cannot be trusted to act in the best interests of their constituency
* the die-off of honeybees and the prospect of massive food shortages that will result if the trend cannot be reversed
* an absence of a government that we can count on to provide assistance when disasters strike (don't forget Katrina)
Fisz,
When you say "I don't know anyone who lives in fear" you prove my point - most Americans aren't aware of their own toxic levels of anxiety. We're a nation living in denial.

Work / Poles Go to Work Abroad [30]

Hi, TheKruk,
Were you born in America? If not, how is it you came to live in Cold Spring? It's quite a lovely town - a bit too expensive for me, but very nice. Why are you now in Katowice? How do you like it? According to a map I'm looking at, it appears that you are about 50 miles from Krakow - is that correct? I very much hope to visit Krakow someday - hopefully in the next few years, with my father.

Genealogy / Mikolaj Rak from Carpatho-Rusyn, Lemko Villages in Jaslo County [11]

Hi, bruno,
Oh, yes - I'm well acquainted with lemko.org. Thank you. It is an excellent site - not well organized, but full of great information.

Rusyns In and From Poland - Lemkos, Boykos, Hutsuls

I did a search on this site usng the term "Lemko" and there were about 50 hits, most of them from about 5 different topics. Rather than try to contact each person who indicated a Rusyn heritage individually (which isn't always possible anyway), I thought it might be a better idea to set up a new topic for those of us with Rusyn blood, so we can assist each other with any research, questions, or whatever - I think it would be nice just to have a place to swap stories about our ancestors and be among one another.

My father's parents both emigrated to America from (then Austrian) Lemko villages which are now in southeast Poland - my grandfather from Wola Cieklinska, near Pielgrzymka in Jaslo County, and my grandmother from Wysowa, near the border in Gorlice County. I grew up in Albany County, NY, USA, and now live a couple of hours south of there - but most of my 15 siblings live much closer to my parents.

So how do other members of this site feel about having a topic just for those of us with Rusyn heritage?

News / American wanting to know about views from Poland [37]

I'm not surprised that those outside of the US have their opinions about us formulated by what they see in films and on TV. Actually, a lot of American culture was formed based on what AMERICANS saw in the movies, too. It's still happening that way.

That said, American media are not always accurate depictions of real life for everyday Americans. Most of us go to our jobs, come home, make our meals, take care of our kids and the chores, have a little time for hobbies or entertainment, and go to bed. All without shooting anyone! :-) On the weekends we catch up on some sleep, get the rest of our chores done, perhaps enjoy a dinner out - maybe a movie - and visit with friends and neighbors.

Most Americans are pretty decent, in their own way. But Americans live more and more in an environment of fear - fear created and purposely disseminated by our elected leaders, I'm sorry to say. But also just everyday fears of financial security, popularity, safety for ourselves and our loved ones, and many other things. It's a pretty fearful society these days, but few acknowledge it conciously. That's one reason why so many of us die from stress-related disorders - we've been afraid so long, we've gotten used to it and don't recognize stress even though we live with it every day.

Is any of this the same for Poles and/or other Europeans? I always envision life in Poland as much calmer, more natural, less competitive - am I living in yet another delusion?

Work / Poles Go to Work Abroad [30]

In my neck of the woods (Putnam County, NY) there are a LOT of female Polish immigrants who are cleaning ladies (some better than others). Second generation Polish women can do whatever they want - there are no limits. I see them in all walks of life. My good friend is a third-generation Lemko who worked for IBM and several other major corporations before all of the IT-support jobs were outsourced overseas (India, Pakistan, Belarus, etc.) - now she is an administrative support person in a school system - quite a step down for her.

Food / Vegetarian food in Poland? [83]

If you live outside of USA you may not understand the downsides to eating American raised beef, poultry and pork. What they feed these animals and inject them with are not materials that you want to be putting down your own throat. I stopped eating all of it over 10 years ago and am a very healthy person without it.

Food / Looking for a soup recipe containing cabbage, kielbasa and sauerkraut [7]

Wait...let me get this straight... your name is kapusta and you're LOOKING FOR a recipe for cabbage soup?

Genealogy / Locating my polish family Mikolajec [12]

I lived up the block from a family named Mikolajec in Cohoes, New York. The father's name was Stephen. He is now deceased, but they had a son of the same name.

Genealogy / Polish Silesians? [25]

My ancestry is Carpatho-Rusyn. My father's parents grew up in what is now south-eastern Poland, in the foothills of the Carpathians (in the villages of Wysowa and Wola Cieklinska). Many Carpatho-Rusyns were forcibly relocated from Lemkovyna to the area now knows as Silesia - this may be one factor in the difference in the dialects spoken there. Others were forcibly relocated to what is now western Ukraine. The Carpatho-Rusyns celebrate their heritage in Silesia each August with a "lemko vatra," which draws C-Rs from all over. The Carpatho-Rusyn Society sponsors an annual heritage tour that includes this vatra. There is another one in September just east of Wysowa.