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Polish wife is threatening me to pay child support 1000zl per month.


papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #1
hi all thanx for taking your time and reading my thread.
i will really appreciate some help with this.
i am indian national married to polish woman and we have a 1 year old baby born in states so baby holds american and polish nationalities, we had bad relation since the beginning and now things are gone over the head as we live with her parents and i have no rights there and she dnt want to move out from her parents as she is more comfortable there .. i dnt want to live with her anymore but i dnt want to leave my baby with her, knowing that polish law will favor her, i am helpless, shes asking me 1000zt monthly when i am making 2000zt. i have half etatfor 750zt register with company where i work. please help me with some suggetions what to do???

thanx again.
SavageGoose
10 Jul 2012  #2
You say your wife is "threatening" you to pay child support.

You need to wake up and realize that if it is your child then it is your responsibility to pay for it!
eberhart 13 | 120
10 Jul 2012  #3
It is not your responsibility to pay whatever your ex demands. If it were that simple women would be dropping guys left and right and taking even more.
SavageGoose
10 Jul 2012  #4
There is nothing wrong with her expecting half of his salary. I'd say she is being very reasonable with him. If times were better between them then he shouldn't mind paying half. She'll get half easily if she divorces and gains custody anyway so he might as well get used to it now.

You play you pay!
eberhart 13 | 120
10 Jul 2012  #5
If this was a Polish woman living in India with HIS family and he was asking for half of her salary you guys would sing a different tune. This forum is ridiculous.
SavageGoose
10 Jul 2012  #6
This forum is not ridiculous and your point can only be made in the abstract. You know very well that these sort of marriages virtually never result in a Pole leaving to settle down in places like India. India is not accommodating for inward migration; if it were you would see far more of it and India would look more like France or Britain.

I'd say it is a safer bet that a Polish woman would have no rights in India and she would be forced to return to Poland if her marriage failed. So you are right it is a different tune because you are not comparing like with like.

I was unaware this was a Polish Pride site with propaganda and hatred of anything not Polish...perhaps I was mistaken in reading the rules.

But you have been posting on here since 2011. How is your rant relevant to the topic of the thread?

Actually India is very welcoming to people who might immigrate.

Then back your wild claim up with some statics. I won't be googling for it either. It's your disinformation so the burden of proof is on you.
OP papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #7
well i dnt mind paying all since i am doing from d begining of this relation but i need to have my baby around me, but she says she wnt let me see or hear her if i leave her. so here i have to agree for everythng she says or loose everythng..

is it fair??
jon357 63 | 14,134
10 Jul 2012  #8
I suspect you'll have to google it. After all, you're making a pretty radical assertion here.
OP papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #9
well if u didnt read i may remind u baby was brn in america, so she was living with my family in america, where she didnt have such problems...like i am having here now, as i made a stupid move to come back to poland...
eberhart 13 | 120
10 Jul 2012  #10
Papa a good lawyer is about all you can do. She has home turf advantage, family support, and as you can see cultural racism on her side. Don't do anything stupid...fight her with the law. I don't know how possible it is but if you can find an Indian lawyer here in Poland at least you can have someone who understands what you are up against.
OP papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #11
i have a question, as i have umowa half etat for 750zt hw she can show my sallry more than that?? and i want to pay for my baby only nt for any her expences, everything for my baby.
SavageGoose
10 Jul 2012  #12
and as you can see cultural racism on her side.

This Indian gets married to a Polish woman, has a child with the same Polish woman, then he moves back to Poland and is working there and yet you have the audacity to say there is "cultural racism"! Unbelievable! Such boldfaced and outright lies!
eberhart 13 | 120
10 Jul 2012  #13
Papa I am not a lawyer but I am sure Polish law has rules about percentages for child support etc. She also would have to prove any earnings not on paper and I don't know how she would. This really isn't the place to get accurate advice though as it's all opinions.
OP papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #14
well this indian is living here bcoz of baby, working for baby, otherwise poland is not much better for an indian to live than america if u know about it. my wife changed face after coming here...so nw i am stuck here...
eberhart 13 | 120
10 Jul 2012  #15
It is a common thing in mixed nationality marriages for the wife to take or keep the kid in her country protected by her family and laws. This happens all over the world unfortunately. A good lawyer is your only legal option I am afraid.
SavageGoose
10 Jul 2012  #16
well this indian is living here bcoz of baby, working for baby, otherwise poland is not much better for an indian to live than america if u know about it. my wife changed face after coming here...so nw i am stuck here...

Well as soon as you find paradise here on earth be sure to tell the rest of us. You should know by now that life isn't Hollywood or Bollywood.
OP papa11 1 | 7
10 Jul 2012  #17
bro if u have a beautiful, understanding wife and u see ur kids growing in front of ur eyes,thats paradise and if u have this and u cant see thats hell on earth.....if u have family n kids u should understand it....
SavageGoose
11 Jul 2012  #18
You're not going to tell us all now that your wife is ugly and unreasonable. If that were the case then it calls into question why you got married in the first place. Poland is not a country known for arranged marriages.

Genuine husbands and fathers understand their role and carry it out. They make their families feel secure by being able to provide for them financially and materially and when not working being with them physically and emotionally. That means your all your efforts are for your children AND your wife. Your wife is a person too you know. She's not there only to look pretty and nod in approval to everything you say. It takes two to tango and I'd say you are the one not taking the lead. Your wife knows this and that is why she is trying to secure what she can for the child she had with you. That's maternal instinct.

So rather than fretting about how much money you are going to have left in your pockets at the end of each month to maintain your soon to be bachelor lifestyle you should instead be taking stock of how much your wife and her family have done for you up until now and then calculate if you could ever truly repay them for their kindness and hospitality towards you.

LOL...."rather than fret about surviving yourself alone you should be grateful the Poles let your darkie self in" is what he really means. Papa ignore this fool and speak to a lawyer.

I object to your remarks. They are wrong, bullying and bigoted. You do not speak for me at all.
Barney 14 | 1,469
11 Jul 2012  #19
You're not going to tell us all now that your wife is ugly and unreasonable. If that were the case then it calls into question why you got married in the first place. Poland is not a country known for arranged marriages

He hasn't said any of those things.

In all countries that have child support there is a minimum amount the parent without care is allowed before payments are deducted (if that is how it's done). After that it's usually a set percentage you must pay. It's very unlikely that it would be 50% of your income if you are an average earner (or less). These laws are supposed to allow both parents to have a meaningful relationship with the child provided the parent with care is reasonable though it's not pay per view.

In short it's unlikely you will get fleeced but you will have to pay something you should also want to pay something.
Harry
11 Jul 2012  #20
Pay her the money: any US citizen can make at least 2000zl here, McDonalds pay that much.
mickstar813 - | 11
11 Jul 2012  #21
No need for fighting. But I think you got to play by the rules of the country you're in. I don't know why some people are calling it 'cultural racism' or whatever.

The polish mother was brought up in a specific way, in a land with different laws. Therefore, anyone that steps into it has no right to call it whatever. Rules are rules.

You can hire a lawyer, but I would be more upset at myself if I was in your position.

You have a baby, you're meant to take care of it, not doing so is just disgraceful in my opinion. I know you're going through hard times, but surely you should be trying to get another job, more help rather than trying to get out of whatever your wife asks. That's my personal opinion, of course I don't know the whole story etc...

Whoever thinks Polish people are racist are kidding themselves. I am British and I love the Polish attitude. Proud and stand firm. Nothing racist about that. Stubborn is a better adjective but nothing wrong with that.
OP papa11 1 | 7
11 Jul 2012  #22
bro i never said shes ugly r nt reasonable, she was very nice in the beginning, alomst like perfect. but later since i started living with her she changed her attitude, started contrlling me too much and that time when i was about to leave her, she played to be pregnant, its long story how, always it takes 2 to tango, i do know this. and once she was pregnant it all changed for her rules or n rules.... i could even leave her that time but its not my culture to leave a woman pregnant,and wash ur hands of ur responsibilities, so we got married after she was pregnant, but now its way hard for me to agree for everything and being yes mister...i cant anymore

the thing is i dont want to leave them both, its my family and i do care for both, but she dnt care about my feelings anymore.
kaz200972 2 | 229
11 Jul 2012  #23
There is nothing wrong with her expecting half of his salary. I'd say she is being very reasonable with him.

There is plenty wrong with this!!!!!!!
Very few places in the world would expect a man to pay half his wages to support one child, it's unreasonable.

we live with her parents and i have no rights there and she dnt want to move out from her parents

This woman has chosen to live with her family so she has fewer expenses than normal and she has access to child care should she deign to work just a few hours herself!!!!!

It was her choice to return to Poland, I doubt they guy would have to give her 50% of his wages in the US.

Polish woman would have no rights in India and she would be forced to return to Poland if her marriage failed.

You'd be surprised how many rights she'd have in Urban India! most Indian woman would have more self respect than this woman and try to provide some support for their child alongside the father's support.

I share residency with my two younger children's father and I pay maintenance because he can't be ars-d to work,but it is only about 20% of my salary.

This guy should pay no more than 33% of his wages, 666zt is more than enough considering she is living with her family.
Get a good solicitor papa11 don't let this woman use you, this your child too, you need to be able to afford to spend quality time with your child
Marzena J
11 Jul 2012  #24
If you from Warsaw my husband might help u.
terabaap
11 Jul 2012  #25
Buddy the baby is american..so file a custody case in usa comnplicate nthe case ..usually this kind of cases are mutually agreed upon finally cuz american family court will give diff judgement then polish and the point will be which one to enforce lol and manipulate the case:)
Harry
11 Jul 2012  #26
so file a custody case in usa

Good luck with that.

the point will be which one to enforce lol

You really think a family court in Poland is going to give a flying fucck about what a court in the USA says about a kid who lives in Poland and has never even been to the USA?
grubas 12 | 1,391
11 Jul 2012  #27
Pay her the money: any US citizen can make at least 2000zl here,

He never said that he is a US citizen.

the thing is i dont want to leave them both, its my family and i do care for both, but she dnt care about my feelings anymore.

It happens.My understanding is that you want see your child often.If so just pay her what she wants and what she wants is a reasonable amount.Because guess what,if only mother (or even grandparents) wants to keep the child,the child stays in Poland.US citizen or not you are won't be given custody rights in this country.You can hire an attorney but it doesn't seem that you have too much money to waste.If you don't care about the child just leave,it shouldn't be any problem.

Buddy the baby is american..so file a custody case in usa comnplicate nthe case ..usually this kind of cases are mutually agreed upon finally cuz american family court will give diff judgement then polish and the point will be which one to enforce lol and manipulate the case:)

I wonder where do people get ideas like this?-) Man,you would have come to Poland with state Police and CPS people to enforce American court's order.Seriously,how are you going to do it?

You really think a family court in Poland is going to give a flying fucck about what a court in the USA says about a kid who lives in Poland and has never even been to the USA?

The kid was

born in states

,"genius".But I agree that it doesn't matter.
terabaap
11 Jul 2012  #28
I wonder where do people get ideas like this?-) Man,you would have come to Poland with state Police and CPS people to enforce American court's order.Seriously,how are you going to do it?

I never said he could? I wrote he could confuse the system have polish judgement also which can be enforced only in Poland but if he has money he can surely take his child back to usa provided he can proove he can take care of the kid properly

He never said that he is a US citizen.

You dont to be a us citizen to make that kinda money even pumping gas or doing const work u can make 3k a month ($)
sa11y 5 | 331
11 Jul 2012  #29
Terabaap, do you REALLY think that any court in Poland will allow him to take the child to USA? Think again.
terabaap
12 Jul 2012  #30
sa11y
If he has a barrage of good lawyers YES!


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