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I treat my Polish colleague like I would treat my older sister, Confused


DREAM 1 | 2
27 Dec 2010  #1
Hey guys,

Ok, this is going to be a weird one..

One of my colleagues is Polish, and she also happens to be the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. And over the last few months, she's been like a sister to me, and she has inspired me to try to become a better person and helped me make a lot of tough decisions. She is one of my idols now and I love her and respect her a lot. BUT

She's 6 years older than me, so I treat her like I would treat my older sister if I had one. And it is quite common in south east Asian culture to treat a very good friend like family. But I'm not sure if it is something that is very inappropriate in Polish culture because sometimes she seems as if she is feeling uncomfortable by being treated like an older sister by some random brown guy that she works with.

I would really appreciate your insights into the matter.
noreenb 7 | 557
27 Dec 2010  #2
Just ask her about it. Try to find a good moment and ask her gently. "Are You feeling confused that I treat you like you were my sister?" Don't be shy. Maybe she is more shy than you are? Maybe she is reserved person and feels a bit uncomfortable with somebody who is opened? I don't know, just talk to her about it.
Lodz_The_Boat 32 | 1,535
27 Dec 2010  #3
this is going to be a weird one..

Yeah ... usually people here come to ask ways to ask their Polish friend for marriage =D ...

But your'se is nice and honest. Dont worry. So where are you from EXACTLY ... ?

If she puts so much attention to you... maybe she is feeling something else while you something else?

Better to clarify to her about how you see her.
OP DREAM 1 | 2
28 Dec 2010  #4
@noreenb

haha, I should have explained it properly. None of us are shy, we are very open with each other and I consider her one of my best friends. I've already had that conversation with her a long time ago, and she said that it doesn't bother her, but I have a feeling that it does. I refer to her as 'moj najdro┼╝sza siostro' all the time, which is supposed to mean 'my dearest sister'. And sometimes she looks at me as if I'm an alien.

I was just wondering if the whole 'treating your friend like family' is a concept that is completely unheard of in Poland and if it is inappropriate in Polish culture.
MrEp - | 26
28 Dec 2010  #5
I was just wondering if the whole 'treating your friend like family' is a concept that is completely unheard of in Poland and if it is inappropriate in Polish culture.

I guess it depends on what do you mean by 'treating someone like family'.
Ashleys mind 3 | 456
28 Dec 2010  #6
She may need you as much as you need her. In as much as she is strong and needs to exert that guardianship over another.

Does she have younger siblings? Or is she on her own in your country? She may be in a position where she has to focus strongly on what's going on in her own life and is therefore in a position to be a strong directional force in others lives...

Just ask her. She's six years older but you have been brought together for whatever reason...

I also made great friends with a guy 6 years younger than me when I was abroad, and found that he became very much like a younger brother - I wanted to protect him and be there for him to talk to and he was great fun to be around. We are still like siblings even though I have moved away, but that bond will never be broken because it's based on profound trust.

I guess what I'm saying is don't question genuine feelings too much.
shewolf 5 | 1,077
28 Dec 2010  #7
I've already had that conversation with her a long time ago, and she said that it doesn't bother her, but I have a feeling that it does. I refer to her as 'moj najdro┼╝sza siostro' all the time, which is supposed to mean 'my dearest sister'. And sometimes she looks at me as if I'm an alien.

Is it possible that she has feelings for you as more than a friend? Maybe when you call her "sister" it bothers her because she doesn't want to be like a sister to you because she wants to be more than that.
OP DREAM 1 | 2
28 Dec 2010  #8
@Ashleys mind

Really don't have words to express my gratitude. You made my day. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it :)

What is scary is though that you sound like her.. I feel like starting calling you starsza siostro now ;)

@shewolf: nope, that's not the case.
Ashleys mind 3 | 456
28 Dec 2010  #9
No worries dude... maybe I'm the sisterly type...?

I live in Sydney too, so it's not such a stretch of the imagination to say that I might know where you're coming from...?

But I do understand the Polish mentality quite well too, so, I think I have a good idea where you're coming from culturally... But hey, she's here to learn about us and what we do, so don't be afraid to show her a thing or too aswell.

Best of luck Bro. :))


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